Never Satisfied: Do Men Know What They Want? (16 page)

The dog cheating man is a habitual liar who has mastered the art of insensitivity. While looking his wife or girlfriend squarely in the eyes, he can say, “I love you,” and then sleep with her best friend without an ounce of guilt. To put it frankly, he can marry you on Sunday and screw the bridesmaids on Monday. And what does the dog have to say in his defense? Not a damned thing! He is a cold-hearted, selfish-minded, menace to female society who makes no apologies for his conduct. As a matter of fact, he actually believes he’s doing women a favor by spreading himself around. Matt rationalized his behavior this way, “Let’s be honest, there aren’t enough good men to go around. If every man chose to be monogamous, who would all these single women have sex with?”

This arrogant remark is just one example of how crude the Dog can be. He has an ego the size of the Grand Canyon and a little black book that resembles the yellow pages. Women are merely numbers with notches next to their names to indicate their level of sexual performance, orally and otherwise. The act of sex has no emotional significance; he has mastered the art of emotional detachment. Sex is nothing more than a sport to measure against previous conquests or simply to pass the time away. The Dog cheater is the star of every reality series and the subject of most rap songs. The titles may vary but the message is all the same, hit it, split it, punch it, and drop it. Meanwhile the dance floor is packing with dizzy women pumping their hands in the air singing along to these disrespectful lyrics. The dog is watching from the bar with a drink in his hand, thinking, “That’s right, keep on singing, because I’ll be punching one of you tonight when the party is over!”

Thirty-seven-year-old Ron is one of those scheming men watching from the sidelines. He has been divorced for three years and says that his desire to be with other women is too overwhelming to control. In his own words, “Men are warriors who must venture out and conquer. It’s not that we’re not satisfied at home, every now and then we need new pussy, it’s that simple.” Well, it’s quite obvious this guy won’t receive any awards for deep intellectual thought. However, you must admit his statement is typical of how most men think. They see themselves as animals trying to be spiritual, when in fact they are spiritual beings fighting against their animalistic selves, or flesh. This is the distinct characteristic of the Dog. He is a self-proclaimed beast who is unwilling to elevate himself above primitive behavior. For the purpose of this chapter, so be it!

Understanding the Dog is as simple as 1-2-3. One, he has no regard for the feelings of anyone except his own. Two, he will do whatever it takes to get women into bed. And three the Dog proceeds with his sexual assault on women simply because he loves the game. And I mean LOVE! How does the Parliament song go?

This is his Anthem, his motto, and his mentality. Forget about negative role models. This guy has made a conscious choice to have as many women as humanly possibly. Of course, I’m still referring to 37-year-old Ron. He is the epitome of the cheating Dog. As far back as he can remember he hasn’t been able to keep his hands off of the girls. While the other little boys were out playing baseball and basketball, he was organizing a game of Spin the Bottle and Catch a Girl Kiss A Girl.

As an adult, he has never managed to remain monogamous for more than two months at a time. Which obviously explains why he’s divorced. The controversy surrounding Ron had nothing to do with his lack of sexual control but his unwillingness to accept 100% of the responsibility for his behavior. He actually had the audacity to blame women for at least half of his dogish deeds. What does he mean by that, you ask? Don’t ask me. Let’s get it straight from the horse’s mouth or should I say, “Straight from the pound?”

Ron’s Story

F
irst of all, I resent the term “Dog” to describe what is simply a lifestyle choice. I choose to have several women; it’s that simple. In my opinion this is the only sane way to carry on with relationships. No commitment, no worries, and no headaches. I can come and go as I please, no questions asked. Sure, I may have to lie every now and then to keep the peace, but women expect that anyway. I just keep my business under cover so nobody gets hurt. Now before you get the idea I’m being cold-blooded about this whole monogamy thing, let me explain something to you. I’ve tried to be faithful on a number of occasions, but I just can’t do it. No matter how attractive and sexually satisfying the woman is, sooner or later I get bored.

Like most men, I need a little variety to keep things spicy. And having sex with different women provides me with that. I try to explain to women that there’s nothing they can do to stop a man from creeping. I don’t care if they do a strip tease and pole dance for their man every night; at some point it’s going to get old. It’s not about another woman’s sex being better, it’s just different. There’s no feeling in the world that can compare to meeting someone new and taking them to bed. You get a rush as she unsnaps her bra and pulls off her pants for the first time. It’s kind of like Christmas and New Years rolled up into one night. First you unwrap the gift then you celebrate until the break of dawn. I know this may sound raunchy, but it’s real. I love the idea of lying in bed with a tender young thang on Friday and waking up next to an experienced vet on Saturday. After all, a man needs more than one pair of shoes to wear, right? You need a pair for jogging, a pair for work, and a dress pair. Women are no different. You’ve got to be able to mix it up a bit.

The most upsetting thing about being a so-called Dog is listening to other men beg and kiss women’s asses just to get into their pants. They use stupid lines such as, “Sex isn’t everything you know. Or, I prefer a woman who has something to offer intellectually.” Fuck that! I’ll take a great blowjob over a spelling bee any day. The only academic requirements I insist on are basic reading and writing skills. If she can scribble her phone number on a napkin, and decipher the street address to my apartment, she’s a rocket scientist as far as I’m concerned.

Then you have these hypocritical married men who stand on their soapboxes preaching monogamy. They brag about how wonderful married life is and try to convince you to settle down. But those are usually the same horny bastards who end up on the ten o’clock news getting busted at The Starlight Motel with some hooker named Trixie. The truth of the matter is all men have a little dog in them. If they had the opportunity to lie down with a sexy woman without being found out, most of them would do it without a second thought. I don’t know of any man in his right mind who fantasizes about having sex with only one woman for the rest of his life. If he tells you he does, he’s either lying, gay, or impotent.

Now let me explain what I meant by women being responsible in part for my behavior. To begin with, I think they should take a long hard look at just how provocatively they dress when leaving the house. Today’s fashions can make even the most innocent choirgirl look like a whore. Women have begun to dress in ways that puts more emphasis on what they have to offer downstairs as opposed to upstairs. I can go anywhere downtown, during business hours mind you, and see women walking around with half of their behind showing and their nipples sticking through their blouses. And these same women will have the nerve to ask, “What are you looking at?” And “Why are men so doggish?” Give me a break! Women know men are only human. If they truly wanted us to stop acting like dogs, they would make more of an effort to cover up those delicious looking bones.

Women also have the nerve to expect men to be 100% honest about their marital status. But again, their attire makes it virtually impossible. How can any mortal man resist telling a lie when he’s confronted by a woman wearing a short skirt, a fresh paint job, and a push up bra with her breast on the verge of popping out? Then they have the nerve to ask, “Do you have a girlfriend?” or “Are you married?” One look at her small waist, thick thighs, and those 36 double D’s and he’s going to instantly become the most eligible bachelor in America. Even the most loyal of men have been known to crack under the pressure of a beautiful face and a pair of large breasts. The fact that he has a wife, two children, and a dog at home doesn’t even cross his mind until after he has sex with her. “Selective Amnesia,” I call it.

Revealing clothing isn’t the only reason why I feel women contribute to infidelity. The Dogs like my friends and I are bombarded daily with examples of how lonely and desperate women are. So desperate in fact, that I recently saw a program where a woman was getting married to herself. Now, tell me there isn’t a need for the dog to pitch in. Women have bought completely into the “Male Shortage Theory,” which is perfectly fine with us. I love to watch reality shows where women make fools out of themselves fighting over half a man. Every week there’s a new show on TV shows like The Bachelor where overly anxious women literally fight over rich men hoping to get married. And what type of message do you think this sends to the so-called Dogs of the world? I’ll tell you what the message is, “Sex them all and take no prisoners!”

Dogs also don’t discriminate. We’re not looking for this idealistic woman to marry and have our kids; our only requirement is that she be sexy and sensual. Full-figured, short, tall, we love them all. One buddy of mine, for example, will date a short, slim woman on Friday, and turn right back around and tackle a 6 ft. 250 pounder on Saturday. As he put it, “I don’t mind a light weight every now and then, but I prefer a winter woman with a little meat on her bones.” Then you have the overachieving corporate types who love to be dominated. At work they make multi-million dollar decisions, call all the shots but in the bedroom they want to be slapped, choked, and have the roots pulled out of their hair. The nice guys may give her the romance but I give them the orgasm and flashbacks. When a woman has an aftershock in the middle of the day, it’s not a romantic thought that triggers it, it’s usually because a guy like me has fucked her so good that her walls are still swollen and pulsating. Nice guys not only finish last, they usually cum too quick.

And to all of you married and involved women out there, you need to get off your hypocritical high horse! You know how valuable a service we have rendered to your group. Over fifty percent of women have cheated on their partner at least once. How many of you reading this have stepped out or know someone who has stepped out on their partner because she wasn’t getting enough attention or affection? The number of women going without sex in this country is epidemic! Answer these questions honestly. When your husbands have come up a little short, who is it that saves the day with a few more inches? The Dog! When you get tired of having his fat stomach crushing your pelvis, who is it that provides you with a nice firm body to jump up and down on, all night long? The Dog! And finally, when your man refuses to take a dive between your thighs, who is it that goes down below where he won’t go? The Dog! With that in mind, the only question I have left is, “Have you hugged your dog today?”

While most men are unquestionably motivated by the sexual pleasures of cheating there is another factor which seems to be just as significant. That is the pure emotional and psychological rush men get from having sex with different women. I label this type of Dog as the Egomaniac. This scoundrel is often more concerned with being admired than getting laid. He is an arrogant, self-absorbed, wannabe playboy who must be constantly reminded of how great he is. Paul, who is 45 years old and has been married for fifteen years, fits this description perfectly. He admits that his affairs with younger women play an important part in how he sees himself. In his words, “Being able to attract beautiful young women makes me feel good about myself. Having sex with them makes me feel energetic and it motivates me to stay in shape.” Many older men who date young women share the same story. The idea of being with a woman half their age can be an incredible boost to the male ego, just as cougars have started dating younger men to keep up with them sexually and to add a spark to their lives. But this is not just about feeding egos, remember, we’re talking about a man who has been married for fifteen years with a grandchild. It’s no big deal if he wants to date younger women, but at 45 years old, he’s still lying about it. I hope the young woman he’s dating is worth it.

Paul’s Story