Mr. Darcy and the Secret of Becoming a Gentleman (35 page)

Beholding her with the most tender gaze, he slowly said, “Elizabeth, while I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness in coming here and all of this,” indicating her tray, “it is not necessary. I am just feeling a little under the weather. I will be fine tomorrow. Also, you must know that I have people to take care of such things. You need not wait on me. Besides, if your goal is to help me rest, I think your plan ill-advised. Your presence here is quite provocative, and I am suddenly feeling anything but sleepy. I know that your intentions are pure, but mine may not be so.”

Laughing at him, she gently put the cloth on his head and said, “I felt certain enough of the state of your health to know I have nothing to fear. In your condition, I doubt you could lift your head from the pillow.”

Slowly smiling, he replied, “I would not be so sure.”

“But yet I am,” she gently laughed as she looked down at him. Turning serious, she added, “But you are right, I know you have people who can bring you soup if you desire or need it, and I would not risk coming here simply for that. I needed to speak to you, and I knew this would be the only opportunity I would have. If you are willing to listen, may I explain?”

Nodding for her to continue, he watched her attentively.

“As you know, I have been learning about the operation of your household. Having observed the staff these last few days, I have come to the conclusion that there is really very little for me to do, and I assume I will find Pemberley run in the same competent manner. I could add a touch here or there, but your staff is so proficient that no real improvement is possible. It has, however, made me think a great deal about what my role as the mistress of your estate will entail. While I have found no flaw in the operation of this household, there has been one matter that has given me pause during my visit. It is your behavior, as it impacts upon your own well-being. While your staff provides you every comfort and willingly pledges you their support, it is not their place to tell the master when he is not taking proper care of himself. I have come to the realization that no one is in such a position, except perhaps me. So I am taking this opportunity to tell you in private that you are acting inappropriately.”

As he attempted to interrupt, she frowned at him and continued on in an even and solicitous voice. “You have been working far too hard, and it is making you sick. You seem unwilling even to consider rearranging your schedule to allow yourself some time to improve your health. I know you feel the weight of obligation, and I very much respect that about you, but you must be realistic as well. You will do no one good by getting seriously ill, and I believe you owe it to Georgiana and, to be frank, me, to safeguard your health. So, while this household can obviously look after itself, you apparently cannot. Consequently, I have taken it upon myself to tell my aunt and mother that estate business prevents you from attending the opera tomorrow evening and that I will not be going either. Mr. Bingley has agreed to escort Georgiana with Jane, and my family will otherwise attend the performance as planned. Bingley will host them at dinner. I have talked to your steward, and he will reschedule your meeting with your solicitor until dinnertime. That way you will be allowed to rest uninterrupted until that time. If the colonel arrives tomorrow, I will host him with Georgiana. If you have rested all morning and are feeling better, perhaps we will let you join us.”

“Elizabeth,” he declared in bewilderment.

Smiling sweetly in return, she patiently replied, “Yes?”

Seeing her kindly countenance, he said her name again, though this time in a defeated voice, “Elizabeth, I truly do appreciate your thoughtfulness, and I want you to know that I also understand the risk you took in coming here. Seeing you has lifted my spirits immeasurably.” Taking her hand in his and holding it tightly, he added, “I know how lucky I am to have found someone who cares for me in such an unselfish manner. But, Elizabeth, you do not comprehend the pressing nature of the dispute I am trying to resolve. You should not have interfered in my business concerns.”

Smiling at him, she explained in a measured and patient manner, “Truly, I understand that I cannot, and I have not. You told me that you needed to resolve matters with your solicitor within the next day or so. You will see him tomorrow night without fail. I have simply changed your plans for the opera in order to make it possible for you to see your solicitor later in the day. That way, you can get some uninterrupted rest before your meeting. It was gracious of you to invite my family to the opera, but I cannot believe you really care if you attend tomorrow night, other than out of a sense of obligation to my family. I have sent your regrets, and they understand. For better or worse, you will have many opportunities to take my mother and sisters to the opera. While my mother would have preferred your company, she is ecstatic that she will be sitting in your box. By rescheduling this social commitment, I am actually attempting to ensure that your business concerns take precedence. You will not be able to handle important decisions properly if you are exhausted and ill.”

Darcy sat there looking at her for a long moment. He then reached up to wrap one of her errant curls around his finger, and slowly said, “I now see why you came; you understood the tactical advantage of presenting your arguments while I am lying here.”

“Well,” she laughed, “it is an added advantage, but I also wanted to bring you the soup.” Smiling at him, Elizabeth felt his forehead again and told him, “You should eat it before it gets cold and then drink the tea too.”

“Will you stay?”

“I suppose I will not risk anything further if I stay for a few minutes more. Everyone had already retired before I came.” Elizabeth helped Darcy with the soup, got him to drink a little tea, and then kissed him reverently on the forehead. She then returned to her room without incident.

***

Despite his weakened condition, Darcy awoke out of habit at daybreak. He began to rouse himself before he remembered the details of his late-night visit with Elizabeth. While he treasured her concern for his well-being, his first impulse was to disregard her entreaties and conduct his day as he had planned.

As he felt the persistent throb of his headache, he began to reconsider. He had to admit that her modifications to his schedule made abundant sense. Sleeping late would do him a world of good, and it would not matter if he met with his solicitor later in the day. But if Elizabeth's plan was superior to his, why did he feel so uneasy taking her advice? He felt, for want of a better word, weak. He had always prided himself on fulfilling all his commitments no matter what the cost. Giving in to his body's needs seemed at odds with that precept.

Then again, he was reluctant to ignore Elizabeth's wishes and did not look forward to her eventual disapprobation. Most women would not feel free to question his choices and would hardly feel confident challenging him. But that was a lesson he had already learnt: She was not like other women. Her opinion mattered, and not just because he did not want to awaken her ire. If she thought he was acting inappropriately, he needed to listen to her. What was holding him back from accepting her advice was concern over how someone else might view his actions if he did. His pride was at stake, even if only he thought so.

He knew full well what Elizabeth would think of such an argument. He thought it ironic that Elizabeth held concern for his pride in so little regard when she was not without a certain amount of pride herself. As he recalled their exchange over his efforts to get her to ride, the memory of it convinced him to take her advice now. Despite her reluctance to undertake that endeavor, she had trusted him enough to resist the temptation to adhere to her position out of stubbornness. Perhaps that was what was required to forge a strong union between two opinionated people: a willingness to put aside one's pride and listen to another's advice. If she had been willing to do it for him, he owed her as much. With a mixture of exhaustion and resolve, he called his valet in.

“Good morning, Robert. I am not feeling particularly well today, so I have decided to take the morning to rest.” Ignoring his valet's questioning look, Darcy continued on. “Would you please let Miss Georgiana know that I will not be down for breakfast? Before I return to sleep, I need to send Mr. Bingley a note. I will not be attending the opera. Mr. Bingley will escort my sister and both of our guests. Wake me when Colonel Fitzwilliam arrives, but otherwise, only disturb me if there is a pressing matter.”

***

Elizabeth and Georgiana were in the parlor when Colonel Fitzwilliam was announced. Elizabeth had been relieved to hear from Georgiana at breakfast that her brother had sent word that he would not be attending the opera that evening. It was clear from Georgiana's comments that she was concerned that Elizabeth would be disappointed by the turn of events. Elizabeth did her best to reassure her sister-to-be that she completely understood Darcy's decision. Elizabeth could see, however, that her words failed to gain Georgiana's confidence. It may have been a testament to Georgiana's intuition that she doubted Elizabeth's professions of serenity. A keen observer could see that Elizabeth was not as sanguine as she claimed. What was not clear was that her discomfort stemmed from her own behavior and not from Darcy's conduct.

Her reunion with Colonel Fitzwilliam was marked by an ease of conversation that made Elizabeth feel more a member of the family than a guest. As the threesome made their way to the dining room, their progress was interrupted by the appearance of Darcy at the door. After welcoming his cousin, he turned his attention to Elizabeth.

“Miss Bennet, good afternoon. I was hoping to have a moment of your time if you were not too busy?”

As the colonel and Georgiana departed, Darcy took Elizabeth's her hand and kissed it. “It appears it is much easier to get time alone with you than I imagined. I simply need to be direct.”

With a nervous laugh that expressed both her amusement and relief, Elizabeth replied, “I somehow doubt that such a tactic will suffice in the long run, but I am happy to see that it has worked so well now.” She added in a more tender tone, “How are you feeling?”

“Much better, thank you. As a matter of fact, I am feeling well enough to join you. I have come to seek your permission.”

Elizabeth studied his demeanor to see the intent of his words, but he was unreadable. She paused for a moment. She had been worried over whether she had overstepped her bounds, both by being so forward in coming to his room and by interfering in his affairs. She knew that when they were married, she would have no qualms. But she was not yet his wife, and that thought had disrupted her sleep. She had woken up to pangs of unease over whether her actions would seem as presumptuous to him as they now did to her.

“Sir, I… this is your home. I am your guest. You hardly need my permission to move within your own rooms.”

“Really? I thought I was told last night that I could only attend with your permission.”

His earnest expression unnerved her. Speaking rapidly, she said, “While I am quite thankful that you took some time to rest, and I can see from your countenance that it has indeed helped you… it was not my place. I see now that I should not have presumed. I know I am not yet your wife. I did not mean to…”

“Elizabeth, what has gotten in to you? I was teasing you. I very much appreciate your concern for me. I am not used to being taken care of, and I have shown my gratitude poorly.” Placing his hand gently under her chin to direct her to look at him, he added, “I love you, and I am pleased that you would take my concerns so wholeheartedly as your own. I did not seek you out to offer a rebuke. I wanted to thank you.”

“But I see now that telling you how you should conduct yourself seems more the duty of a wife than of a fiancée, and I want you to know that I do know the difference.”

Smiling, he encircled her in his arms and gently kissed her. Resting his head against her hair and breathing in its scent, he quietly replied, “I understand that, but I… have no problem with the distinction. All I want is to actually be your husband. I have no value for this interminable waiting. In my heart you are already my wife. If you feel the same for me, even a little, I am immensely pleased, not upset.”

With relief evident on her face, she looked up at him and replied, “Sir, you seem intent on being nothing but generous with me,” adding in a more playful tone, “Though I should at least refrain from telling you whether or not you can dine in your own home.”

“Quite frankly, madam, you underestimate your power over me. If it means that you would have to come to my room, I believe I would agree to most anything that you were to propose there.”

Blushing at his words and feeling her pulse quicken, she attempted to reply nonchalantly. “I see that you are indeed feeling much better.”

“Yes, having some uninterrupted time to myself not only gave me some much needed rest, but it also allowed me to see more clearly the issue my steward and I have been attempting to resolve. I see now that some of my previous haste sprang from my desire to spend uninterrupted time with you. I now realize that I will always need to balance my obligations with my personal commitments and that it would be folly to pursue either to the exclusion of the other. You were right last night to remind me of that.”

“Sir, you seem in a remarkable mood today. I cannot imagine my suggestion has worked such an improvement.”

“Well, while I have been able to clear my head and therefore improve my disposition, I am still tired and feeling the slight effects of the fever. I will retire after I eat. I would like to visit with you, though, at tea before you leave for the opera.”

“But I told you last night, I will not be attending it either.”

“Yes, you did say that, but I will not have it. You will go. I wrote to Bingley this morning to arrange it. He will be by to escort all three of you in his carriage.”