Memoirs Of A Gigolo (7 page)

The fear and anxiety gripped my heart. It felt like I had a heart attack. I couldn’t lose her. What would I do without her? What about our baby that she was carrying?

I called the family so they could meet me there. I arrived at the hospital full of tension asking where she was. The nurse came out and said, “Sir, Miss Jackson was taken to emergency surgery, because she was bleeding internally.” “I’m sorry we couldn’t wait for your arrival, but it was life or death.” I stood there shocked at the news I had just heard; then I heard my Mom’s voice. “Donavan is everything all right?” she asked. “Where’s Valencia is she going to be ok?” “Mom I don’t know, but she’s in surgery that’s all I know.” I sat down in a daze and cried. Mom tried to comfort me and replied, “Donavan; she’s going to be ok, don’t worry.” I heard her with my ears, but my heart wouldn’t listen.

Soon after surgery, a doctor appeared and explained to me what was going on. The whole family had gotten there by this time.  He explained that she had a genetic disease Sickle Cell Anemia.  He was unsure the damage, and how long she had left to live. When I heard the news, my heart sank.

How could this young beautiful woman be sick? I asked, in tears, “Doctor what about the baby?” He replied, “The baby is fine, but it is draining her strength.” “This is a very dangerous situation, and she’s lost a lot of blood.” “We found the origin of the blood loss, and she seems to be out of danger at this time.” “I want to keep a very close eye on her, and the progress she makes.” “I must say, I’m surprised this disease wasn’t detected early on.”

Valencia was hospitalized for a few weeks. I was by her side every moment. She seemed to weaken daily, but her doctors assured me she was doing fine. I secretly wanted her to lose this baby. I guess I was being selfish and only thinking of my feelings. I didn’t want to have this baby if it were going to cost me the love of my life.

  I decided I didn’t want to wait for the wedding. We needed to be married as soon as possible. I called mom and told her my plans, and we finished planning a small wedding.

I didn’t want it to be all lavish and over the top, so I invited a few close friends and family. I had our rings designed and inscribed by my jeweler. We were wed August 17th, 1996 and I will never forget the date or the feeling I had when I said, “I do”. 

I didn’t work much when Valencia was sick, and I was glad I had Nick as a partner. He took care of things until I was back to work. Time passed quickly and soon baby Janet was born. She was a beautiful and happy baby.

Of course things got worse for Valencia, and I felt helpless. The doctors said she wouldn’t last a month, but I needed to hope. Joyce, Valencia’s mother had moved in with us and was taking care of Valencia and the baby.

I wanted to love baby Janet, but she was a constant reminder. I looked in the face of our beautiful daughter, and all I saw was her mother.

I sat with my wife in her last days reading and hoping things would turn around. I prayed she would live, but she was in a lot of pain. She was barely able to hold baby Janet.

I would have done anything to take her pain away. Life had dealt her a losing hand, and she was taking it in stride. It was Saturday morning, and Valencia was in and out of consciousness.  The nurses were keeping her comfortable with the morphine.

“Donavan,” she spoke barely above a whisper. “Yes babe I hear you.” She cried, “I don’t know how much longer I can take this pain, but I need you to understand something.” “What’s that Valencia?” I asked. 

“I love you with all my heart, and I’m sorry I got sick.” “Don’t be silly it, not your fault, and I love you more than life itself.” She replied, “Please Donavan, just listen because I don’t know how much longer I have.” I knew it could be any time because the doctor already said it was a matter of days. 

“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Valencia said, “I hope you don’t let this discourage you from finding love again.” I held her hand and cried, “Valencia, don’t waste your strength on things that don’t matter.” “Donavan, please…listen to me.”  “Take care of Janet, and make sure she’s loved and cared for.” “I will babe,” I said, as she began to lose consciousness.” Valencia died the next day. It was a beautiful Sunday morning, but a piece of me died with her that day.

After the funeral I needed time to heal, so Joyce volunteered to keep baby Janet. I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I threw myself into my business. I had to get out of Chicago. It was making me depressed.

I called my office, and explained to my partner that I was taking an extended leave. I leased a condo in Miami just to chill in, and think about nothing.

I missed Valencia so much, but life must go on. I called Joyce on a daily basis to check on Janet, and make sure she was ok. I wanted so much to love and take care of her, but I just couldn’t. Time would heal my wounds; I thought. 

I was in Miami for a month when things took a turn for the better. I needed something to pull me out of this state of mind. I sat there in the dark apartment thinking about nothing but Valencia. I was grieving myself to death, and I knew it wasn’t healthy. I called Nick to see if there was anything on the agenda.  He said happily, “Donavan I can be in Miami in an hour, and we explore the waters.”

“I have a few friends there, and it will do you good to get out and have some fun.”  I had a hard time getting back out there, but I had to live.

“That sounds great,” I said. “I’ll see you soon,” and I hung up the phone. I made breakfast and turned on the sports channel.

A few hours later, I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door to find Nick standing there holding his luggage. I said, “Hey, Nick how was your flight?” “It was ok, what the hell..?” “Man you look rough,” he laughed. “When was the last time you shaved?” “I see you don’t believe in cleaning services either.” I replied, “I know you didn’t come all this way to tell me that my life is a mess.”

He laughed and said, “No, but the truth it, that your life is a mess.” “First you need a shower and a shave, and I’m going to get a cleaning service in here.” “Donavan you have to snap out of this.” “I know you loved your wife, but she wouldn’t want this.” My eyes filled with tears, and I said, “Yeah, I know, but I loved her so much.” “Can I ask you a question?” “Yes.” I replied. “How can you love a woman and do what you do?” “I don’t know, but I do and I did.” “Love is funny that way I guess.”

I think Nick was what I needed. I made an appointment with a barber, and I needed some new clothes. First stop, Marc Jacobs. Then off to the spa for my mani-pedi. After Nick and I shopped we stopped and had a few drinks in South Beach. I felt better and looked fantastic.

“What are we doing tonight?” I’m not into the club scene much, but I’m up for anything,” I said. “That’s great, because there’s a party, and we are invited,” Nick replied. “Anyone I know?” “I’m not sure, but she’s a client of mine.” “What’s her name?” “Is she from Miami?” Nick said, “Her name is Susan Gweniver, and I think she’s from here.” “How did you two meet, if you don’t mind my asking?” “Shanghai introduced us a few months ago, why?” “I just wondered.” What was going on here, and why had Shanghai introduced the two?

I know the game was about money, but it was also about loyalty, as well. Nick was staying here while he was in town, and I didn’t care until now. I hadn’t talked to Susan in a while, and I’m sure she needed company.

“Is there something wrong Donavan?” Nick asked. I replied, “No, I was just thinking about something.” “I’m going to shower and get ready for tonight.”

“You can have the room down the hall while you’re here.” “Let me know if there’s anything you need.” “I think I’m ok right now, but you’re out of bourbon,” Nick laughed. “I’ll make sure I take care of that tomorrow.”

I called Shanghai after Nick left the room. “Hey Donavan, what’s up?” “I should be asking you that, what’s up with Nick and Susan?”

Shanghai replied, “Donavan, I’m in the business of making money; it’s not personal.” “Nick was free, and your wife was sick.” “It was just smart business move.” “I know you understand, don’t you darling?” I said, “There’s a thing called loyalty Shanghai.” “You and Nick are partner’s Donavan,’ or had you forgotten?” “No, I didn’t forget.” She seemed irritated and said, “Well this conversation is over so go to the party, and have a good time.”  “Goodnight Shanghai and I hung up the phone.”

Shanghai was a bitch all about money. Now Nick and I were partners, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. I wasn’t going to let this spoil my night.  I knew that Nick wasn’t in my league. If I wanted to, I could call Susan, and blow this shit all to hell. No need for that though, there were plenty of fish in the sea, and I was the best fisherman in the area. I would play the game, and not let it play me.

I went through the items I purchased this afternoon. I put on the jeans and gators with the green button down. I wasn’t in the mood for dressy, but I never went anywhere half stepping. I put on my dark blue blazer, and my emerald cufflinks just in case. I knew the kind of people who’d be there, and I didn’t want to look too shabby.  I decided to grab a beer from the fridge, and wait on Nick to dress.

An hour later Nick came out of the bedroom looking fly. “Damn Nick,” I asked, “What took you so long?” “Perfection my man, I never know whom I might meet.” “Are you ready now?” “I wished I had a drink, but I’m good.” “You sound like a rookie; this isn’t your first rodeo,” I said and couldn’t help but laugh.

Nick replied, “No it’s not, but it’s a new crowd, and I just wanted to take the edge off.”  “I’m sure there is some in the car Susan sent.” Susan’s the type of woman that covers all bases. “How would you know,” Nick asked. “Do you know her?” “Let’s just say I know her type.”

“Donavan, were partners this is not a competition. I scoffed, saying, “I’m always in competition, and you’re a fool if you’re not.” “This is a cut throat business, and someone is always trying to replace you.” Nick said, “Donavan there’s enough money to go around, and I’m willing to share.” I didn’t know what to think of Nick at the time, but I let him into my world anyway. “Cross me once it’s your fault, cross me twice its mine,” I said in a serious tone. “All right Donavan, now let’s go to the party.”

Once we arrived at Susan’s, the party was down by the pool.  Susan was looking fabulous as usual, but the surprise on her face was priceless.

“Hello guys,” she tried to keep a straight face. I acted as if we’d just met. “Hello you must be Susan,” I said politely. She blushed from head to toe.  I air kissed her hand, and I could hear her catch her breath. “Why don’t you two come, and join the party,” she asked sweetly.

I walked in the other direction, and Nick slipped his arm around her waist. I knew she wanted me in the worst way, but this was Nick’s night.

I stood at the bar and sipped my bourbon, and I noticed Stephora standing alone. I hadn’t seen her since I was here almost a year ago. I noticed that Graham wasn’t present at the party. Our eyes met almost instantly, but I took my time walking over.

Nick and Susan were playing the happy couple, which I’m sure she had planned. What I didn’t know was why she put on such a charade. I’m sure all her friends knew the truth.

Stephora looked gorgeous in her black strapless ass hugging dress.

Her hair flowing down her back, and legs that went on forever. I had had enough of this, so I walked over. “Hello, are you having a good time,” was all I could muster. Was it the smell of her perfume, or the way she made me feel I couldn’t tell?

“Hello, its Donavan right?” Stephora asked. Was she really going to play this game?  “Yes I’m Donavan, and your name is Stephora,” I smiled. “I noticed you when I walked in, and where is your husband?” She replied, “He’s away on business in Rome.” “Can I ask you a very personal question Stephora?” “Why would man with such a beautiful wife always seem to be away on business?” She stood there thinking how to answer the question. “I don’t know,” she replied, “But he has to make a living.”

“Who are you to ask me such a question anyway?” I said, “I didn’t mean to upset you, but if it were me I would never leave your side.” “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” She laughed and said, “You know nothing about me except what you see.”

“I love my husband and what he does or where he is shouldn’t concern you,” she said defensively. “Stephora, like I said I didn’t mean to offend you.” I could see the tears well in her eyes. “Excuse me Donovan, but I have to leave.” Can I see you home or take you some place?” “You can do what you will…” she replied as she walked out.

I couldn’t let her leave in this state, so I followed her out. “Stephora,” I called out to her, “Let me at least see you home.” Stephora was very upset and replied, “Please Donavan just let me leave.”

  The tears were running down her face. This truly wasn’t what I wanted. “Please let me talk to you Stephora,” I said as I ran up behind her. I grabbed her arm and pulled her to my chest; she was still crying. This couldn’t just be what I had said. I rubbed her hair trying to comfort her, “Its ok.”

“Hey, listen to me, I sorry for what I said,” I apologized. “Donavan it’s not what you said, you just spoke the truth.”  “I’m still sorry, I never intended harm you.”

“Why don’t we get out of here, and get some coffee or something,” I suggested.  “I don’t think I should.” I replied, “Don’t worry it’s just coffee between friends.” “I know, but people will talk, you don’t understand.”

“My car is right over there, and who cares what people think?” Stephora warned, “Donavan this is Miami and my husband is an important man in this town.” “You let me worry about Graham.” After we left her tears subsided, and she sat there looking out the window.

I stopped at this coffee shop I noticed on our way in. “Come on, let’s get some coffee.”  The place was deserted except for one waitress. “Hello, can I get you something it’s almost closing time?” “We’ll have a couple of coffees if you don’t mind?” “She looked at Sephora’s tear stained face and asked, “Are you all right?” “Yes, thank you.” “Will have those coffees to go if you don’t care?”

We took the coffees and left. “Stephora, we can go to my place, and I promise it’s just to talk.” “Donavan I don’t think…

“Stephora before you say no. it’s late, and I’m harmless.” I laughed trying to lighten the moment. “Ok, but remember you promised,” and she smiled. We talked till dawn. I told her how I lost my wife and the pain I felt. It was like we’d known each other forever. 

Then she asked the dreaded question. “Donavan what do you do for a living?” “I know so don’t lie.” “What do you mean?” “I think you know. “I know Susan on a personal note, and everyone knows she hires escorts from time to time.”

I was a little put off by her questions, but I thought, what the hell. “Yes Stephora, I’m a male escort.” She replied, “I didn’t ask to judge you because I’m in no position to do that.” “I just asked to see if you would be truthful.” I was trying to be honest with Stephora and myself, and I said, “I’m tired of lying, and I don’t have anything to hide from you.”

“What about you and this husband of yours?” I asked.

“Donavan the truth is that I married my husband to escape. “Escape what?” “My life in Brazil, my family was very poor until Graham walked into our lives.”

“My mother worked as a housekeeper in one of his resorts.” “I met him one day when I was there visiting my mother.

“He wine and dined me, and took me to places I’d only seen in books.” “We needed the money, and my family insisted, saying it was for the entire family.” “It’s how it is, and I’m supposed to be the lucky one?” “Everyone I meet tells me how pretty I’m, but to me it’s a curse.” “You are beautiful, and that’s no lie!” She said, “Being beautiful in a poor country isn’t all that glamorous.”

“Why are you an escort?” I replied, “I chose this way of life, not because of the money for sure.” “I have a thriving business back in Chicago.” She then asked, “Did your wife like what you do for a living?” “No, because she never knew, and you’re the first person I’ve ever told.” Are you sure she didn’t know and maybe she just didn’t tell you.”

I replied, “I don’t think she knew, and if she did, she never lets on.” “How could you love your wife and sleep with other women?” “Why, because what I do is business and what we had was personal.”

“I wished I loved Graham, but I don’t.”  “I’m a trophy to him.” “He cared more for the animals he keeps on his wall.” “They’re beautiful too.”

It was daybreak when we finally went to sleep. I kept my promise and never tried anything.  My body wanted her in the worst way. I woke up on the fancy couch I had in the living room and damn my back hurt…” I gave up my bed to a woman I didn’t even know.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down thinking of the woman in my bed. I didn’t know what time Nick would arrive back, but I didn’t want him to see her here.

If I knew Susan, she would keep him there all day. “Good morning,” Stephora said as she entered the room in one of my shirts.

“Is there more coffee?” I said, “Yes, look in the kitchen, and the cups are in the cabinet over the counter.” Damn…, this girl, was absolutely beautiful in the morning without make up.

Stephora said, “This is really good coffee, would you like eggs?” I laughed and replied, “Sure, if you’re cooking.” “That’s why I asked silly.” She whipped up an omelet from the things I had in the fridge.

“You’re pretty good at this,” I said, trying to compliment her. “I don’t cook much at home, but I love it.” “You’re just a regular Suzy homemaker, but beautiful.” “I wouldn’t say all that, but I do know my way around the kitchen.”

We spent the rest of the day together doing nothing. I enjoyed her company, and she didn’t judge me. Early that evening she said, “Juan I better be getting home it’s been great, but I have to go.” “Do you have to?” I seemed to be begging. I just didn’t want this day to end. “Yes,” she frowned.

“All right,” I said, “But I insist on taking you.” “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea, I’ll call a cab.” “All right it’s up to you, but when can I see you again?”

“I don’t know, but I will give you call.” I kissed her on the cheek as she walked out the door. I was glad she left when she did, because in walks Nick.

“Hey Donavan, what’s up?”, “I noticed that you left the party early.” I replied, “Yeah, a friend needed my help.” He smiled and said, “Would that friend be the beautiful Stephora?” “Yep, but that’s my business.” “I don’t think her husband would appreciate that much.”

“Did she tell you she was married?” he asked, being a bit to inquisitive. “Yes, of course Nick and why are you concerned?” “I can handle whatever.” He replied, “I went down that road once myself, and it went nowhere.”, “So you’re telling me you’ve been intimate with her?” “Don’t worry Donavan, it was a long time ago, and she wasn’t married at the time.”

I wondered why she hadn’t mentioned even knowing Nick. I know she saw us come in together. I said, “Nick, I’m not worried; she’s just a friend.”