Marked by Grief (12 page)

"Get up, Kit," he caled as he finished brushing his hair. "We're going soon."

"Go 'way," Kit grumbled sleepily.

Jason grinned at him. They'd never been on the same page in the mornings. He and Bear were early risers. Kit had always slept as long as anyone would let him. But that wasn't going to happen today. He went to the side of the bed and yanked the covers back, exposing Kit to the early morning chil and the bright sunlight coming in through the blinds Jason opened every morning. "Time to get up." He sat on the bed next to Kit's hip.

Jason lightly stroked his fingertips down Kit's side. His lean body had always been beautiful. He'd never been muscular, but then again, Jason didn't like a lot of muscles on his guys. He worked out and didn't expect the men he brought home to as long as they were in shape. Kit would be back there again with enough time and someone making sure he remembered to eat. Jason wanted to be that person.

He touched his left wrist, a force of habit he supposed, and felt only the smooth skin of his arm. His gaze went to the thin band of gray leather, sitting on the bedside table beside Kit's pilow. He hadn't taken it off for any reason in years, not even to shower. But this morning he had. He didn't need it anymore. He was no longer the tattooed Dom who liked to tie guys up as he fucked them and then send them on their way with a bit of cash to cover the taxi fare. He wasn't sure he'd ever realy been that guy to begin with. Sure, he liked seeing Kit tied. The younger man had looked damn sexy with the cuffs on his wrists and his arms bound behind his back as Jason took him from behind. But he couldn't remember a time when he hadn't pictured Kit on the faces of those nameless men he'd brought home over the years.

His only fear was that Kit might not want him back. Sure, they'd had a lot of fun last night. But Jason knew things could look dramaticaly different in the light of the day. He only hoped Kit wouldn't run from life again. Even if he didn't want to share Jason's bed, he stil wanted Kit in his life. Permanently. It had been the three of them for so long that being two felt strange. But being one had been awful. The first month after the accident Jason had worked harder than he'd ever done in his life. And his business had blossomed because of it. When he hadn't been working, which had been rare those days, he'd worked out, often lifting wel into the early hours of the morning.

Back then he'd have done anything to stay busy and avoid thinking about Bear. He'd needed the distraction at the time but now he knew what a stupid, selfish ass he'd been. He was hurting from the loss of his best friend, but Kit was nearly dying from the loss of his brother. And he'd always promised Bear he'd look out for Kit. Whenever Kit had to stay late in school and Bear had to go to practice, Jason had made sure to be there to walk him home. After Dale broke up with him, Jason had stayed close to make sure he didn't do anything else to hurt Kit. Thankfuly most of the guys he'd met were rarely as catty as girls could be and so Dale had left him alone.

Jason knew he'd let them both down, especialy when Kit realy needed him and that realization burned.

He leaned down and kissed Kit's forehead.

"I'm a mess," Kit said softly as he came awake.

Jason cracked a smile at him. Sure, Kit smeled like sex and his hair was standing up in unruly spikes.

But he didn't look like a mess. "You're fine." Kit gave him a smile and he swalowed. Damn he was beautiful when he smiled. "Get up, we've got a stop to make before work." Jason quickly stood up and walked to the closet. He needed to put some space between them before he carried Kit to the shower and joined him under the hot spray. He closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip. This was so not the time for a fucking erection.

"Didn't you get enough of him last night?" He muttered at the rising tent in his loose jeans.

"Who're you talking to?" Kit asked as he came up beside him.

Jason turned to look at him and instantly wished he hadn't. Kit hadn't bothered to cover up with anything and Jason could clearly see the red lines across the younger man's ass and thighs. He forced himself to suck down some air. "Go take a shower," he ground out as his hands clenched into fists at his side.

Kit's eyes went wide and he took a step back.

"Jason… I'm sorry… I didn't mean…"

Oh, fuck it. Jason grabbed him and took control of Kit's mouth as his arms held him tightly against his chest. Kit seemed startled for a moment but then moaned loudly as he slipped his tongue between Jason's teeth.

"Shower, now. Please," Jason breathed as he forced himself to take a step back from Kit. "You didn't do anything wrong. I just want you too damn much and I've got a client at ten."

Kit's cheeks flamed and his swolen lips turned into a playful grin. Jason smiled back at him and placed a gentle kiss on those lips he loved so much. He doubted he'd ever see them not swolen or bruised again. Not if he could help it anyway. "It's barely seven," Kit said as he glanced at the clock. "We've got time." His fingers slipped into Jason's and he tugged lightly. "C'mon."

"Wish I could, Kit," he cupped himself, making sure Kit saw just how much he wanted him. "But we've got somewhere to be. Now go get showered."

Kit frowned but thankfuly stopped tugging as he started walking toward the bathroom. "Where're we going?"

Jason puled himself away from watching the sway of Kit's hips and the curve of his ass long enough to answer. "The cemetery."

Kit turned and Jason watched as his impossibly pale skin seemed to lose even more color. "No. Jason, no. I'm not going."

He blew out a breath. "Yes, you are. I go every morning on my way to work and you're coming with me. Now go get showered."

Kit shook his head. "No. I just went. I don't need to go again."

Jason pressed his lips together. He hated being lied to. And he knew Kit was lying, even if he didn't go there every day. He was certain Kit hadn't been to Bear's grave since the day of the funeral. Just in case though, he'd ask him a question to be sure. "What kind of flowers does your mom keep on his grave?"

Kit stopped just inside the bathroom door. He looked back over his shoulder and Jason could see the hurt as it marred his face. "You know I'm lying. Don't you?"

Jason closed his eyes and nodded. He could have kept lying so Jason supposed his turn at honesty was a good thing. It stil didn't erase his previous lie though. "And I hate liars. You know that. Thank you for not continuing to lie to me. Now go shower."

Again Kit hesitated. "I didn't do laundry last night so I don't have any clean clothes."

"Go shower, Kit. I won't tel you again. I'm finding some smaler clothes for you." He began rifling through his shirts.

He heard the door close and breathed a sigh of relief. Kit could be stubborn with the best of them but he could take direction when he needed to. His cock grew at a memory of how very wel Kit could take direction from last night. "Dammit," Jason growled. He puled out a shirt and a pair of shorts he hadn't worn since high school and tossed them onto the bed. They would stil be big on Kit so he tossed a belt on the bed as wel. He heard the water start running as he tossed their dirty clothes into a basket next to the laundry machines. They were a luxury in the smal apartment building and worth every penny of extra rent he had to pay for them.

He understood Kit not wanting to see Bear's grave. Hel, he hadn't wanted to at first either. But talking to him, whether he believed Bear could hear him or not, had helped. Some people meditated before work or drank a couple galons of coffee. Jason sat down in front of his best friend's grave and talked about how the day before had been. Sometimes, on the days he realy missed Bear, he even went after work as wel.

He also went after work when he'd given some teenager a tattoo they'd be regretting in a few years.

Bear had always gotten a kick out of first tattoo stories like that.

He hoped talking to Bear would help Kit too. It couldn't hurt to try anyway.

A few moments later the bathroom door opened and Kit stepped out. Jason was almost disappointed at the low slung towel Kit had tied around his waist, but he was also grateful for it. Until Kit came close enough that he could see the fine droplets of water on his pale skin and Jason's mouth went dry. He quickly turned away as Kit dropped the towel and began puling on the clothes.

"How long do you want to stay today?" Jason asked him as he fiddled with something on his desk.

Anything to keep from looking at Kit as he dressed.

"You said I didn't have to go home," Kit reminded him, his voice barely loud enough to be heard.

Jason turned around. Could he realy mean that? "You're right. You don't have to."

Kit nodded. "I need a few things. Bear's stuff that I saved from my mom's clutches. My laptop. My music." He shrugged. "Crap like that." He looked up, his emerald eyes uncertain. Jason knew the things he spoke of, though they were just things, were far from crap. It was just Kit's way of trying not to force an issue. Jason would make sure he had whatever he wanted from his childhood home and anything else he needed.

A slow smile came over Jason's mouth. He quickly crossed the room and captured Kit in a tight hug that very nearly suffocated him. "Stay as long as you want." He placed a kiss on Kit's temple.

"Bear know you were this mushy?" Kit said as he struggled out of Jason's hold.

Jason laughed and stepped back, giving him room to finish getting dressed. "No, probably not. We were close but I sure as hel didn't go around kissing him al the time."

Kit roled his eyes. "Sure hope not. 'Cause that would make last night weird."

"And how was last night?" Jason asked him, suddenly serious as he leaned against the wal, quietly watching Kit.

Kit frowned and his shoulders hunched. "I liked it," he said after a moment.

"Al of it?" He had to know. Even if he didn't want to hear Kit didn't like what he'd given him, even if he decided he'd changed his mind about things that were integral to Jason's sexual habits. He couldn't change who he was and what he liked and he wouldn't force his preferences on someone he cared so much about. He had to know the truth about what Kit realy wanted out of this. And if Jason wasn't the right person for him, then shit, he'd find a way to get over that and make sure Kit was with someone who worked wel for him and could treat him right. Kit deserved at least that much.

Kit slowly nodded. "Does that make me…

bad? That I liked it when you spanked me? That I liked when I couldn't use my hands on me because I was handcuffed?"

Jason tangled his fingers in Kit's fine hair and gave the strands a light, playful tug. "No. Not at al. So what if you like a little kink?"

Kit gave him a smal smile. "You promised something too. If I stil wanted this thing between us in the morning."

Jason's smile grew and he nodded toward the bedside table. "Look for yourself." He held up his bare wrist.

Kit's eyes grew wide and he scrambled across the bed, over the mess of blankets and sheets, to snatch up the bracelet. "You're done? Truly done?"

Jason nodded. "I'm yours and only yours for as long as you want me. No more clubs, no more random strangers."

"The flogger stays though, right?" Kit asked quickly as his face turned red.

Jason laughed. "Yeah, that stays. And you can pick out the next one if you want to. There's a shop about two hours away that specializes in gear for the kinkier side of sex that I'd like to take you to when we've got time."

Kit ducked his head and grinned. "I'd like that."

Jason nodded and slung an arm around his shoulders, puling him close. "Me too. Now come on.

We need to hurry if we're going to get any of the good donuts. The guys at the shop usualy demolish them pretty quickly and I'm not being left with sprinkles and jely filing again this week. That shit's just nasty."

Kit's quiet laughter filed the halway as they left the apartment and headed out into the early morning sunshine.

The End

About the Author

Caitlin Ricci was fortunate growing up to be surrounded by family and teachers that encouraged her love of reading. She has always been a voracious reader and that love of the written word easily morphed into a passion for writing. If she isn't writing, she can usualy be found studying as she works toward her counseling degree. She comes from a military family and the men and women of the armed forces are close to her heart.

She also enjoys gardening and horseback riding in the Colorado Rockies where she cals home with her wonderful fiancé, their dog and a Blue Tongue Skink.

Her belief that there is no one true path to happily ever after runs deeply through al of her stories.

Website:

http://authorcaitlinricci.blogspot.com/

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Also by Caitlin Ricci:

Available from
Silver Publishing
:

Taming the Lion Tamer
Marked by Grief

PINE HOLLOW WOLVES

Almost Paradise

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