Make Me Whole (36 page)

Understanding crossed Vincent’s face, followed by a grin. “You know, I’m not surprised. There was this vibe between you guys. I always thought it was just a matter of time. And to be honest, the couple times the three of us hooked up, I kind of felt like an intruder.”

“Was it really that bad?” Galen asked with a laugh as he tucked his paper away. “I knew Nick got a little possessive there at the end when we hit the clubs, but I didn’t think he was that obvious.”

“You were just as bad. Trust me, all those sidelong looks and little touches. There were times when you both were wrapped up in your own world.” Vincent stood up and pulled Galen into another hug. “I’m happy for you guys. Send me the information about the gala, and I’ll see you there.”

“Good to see you too.” Galen watched him go, and then his eyes caught Nick standing by the fountain. He started to smile and lift his hand in a wave, but Nick’s fierce glower froze it in place and his heart sank. Oh boy.

T
HE
shock that crossed Galen’s face was another blow to Nick’s heart. For some reason, he had believed that Galen’s clubbing, partying days had ended when he left Nick, that he’d cut himself off from that old life. Only it was clear that he’d remained friends with what’s-his-name. Nick tried to recall it, but the names of all of Galen’s conquests blurred under his anger.

Nick couldn’t figure out what it was about himself that made it so easy for people to cut themselves out of his life so completely. First his mom, then Damien and Stefan when he’d moved out of state, and then they wondered why he was leery of letting them back in, why he didn’t jump to make the first step.

But Galen…. As much as Nick had tried to keep that wall up, somehow Galen had crept under it to make him believe again.

Just as his mom had when she’d returned, Nick had believed every promise, every lie. Maybe she had come back with the best intentions of staying. He’d never know for sure, but what he knew deep down was nothing lasted, no matter how much he wanted it to.

Galen shot him a glance and moved toward the exit. Fuming, Nick turned away and stalked across the plaza. He didn’t trust himself to talk to Galen now. He didn’t want to see him, didn’t want to hear his damned excuses.

Things had been so intense between them lately as they explored more with sex. They’d talked about scenes both before and afterward, and he’d thought that Galen was being up front with him. But if it was intense for Nick, it had to be that much more intense for Galen. And what did Galen do when he got afraid? He put up a damned wall, kept his distance.

Nick knew that all too well, and he really couldn’t handle seeing it right now. Galen had run once, and Nick was trying so hard to believe that he wouldn’t do it again. Deep down he knew he was overreacting, so he needed to put some distance between them and get some perspective.

Vincent. That was his fucking name. Galen had fucked that bastard more than once. Vincent had kept coming back, sniffing for more in those last few weeks before Galen had walked out on him. Were there other times that Nick hadn’t known about? Because clearly, Vincent and Galen were awfully fucking chummy.

“Nick, wait!”

The sound of Galen’s voice cut through him, and Nick tried to move faster, but it seemed as though everybody got in his way, slowing him down as Galen drew nearer, still calling to him. A hand grabbed his elbow, and Nick jerked away, spinning around to face his tormentor.

“I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to even see you right now,” he snarled.

Galen took a step back, paling then flushing. “It’s not what you’re thinking. Just let me explain.”

“There is nothing to explain. I have eyes for myself.” Nick didn’t want to believe that Galen had remained friends with Vincent after he’d split with Nick, that he’d kept in contact with another fuck buddy and left Nick in the cold and dark, wondering if he could’ve done something else to keep Galen close. It had been in the past and should stay there; only that little seed of doubt had crept into the dark cracks of his heart.

“I shouldn’t have to explain, but obviously, I need to,” Galen retorted, his voice tense. He looked around at the plaza and the curious gazes. “Can we go somewhere else?”

“No, I’m not going anywhere with you. I don’t want to see you. I just need some damned time to think.” Galen’s face drained of all color, and for some reason the hurt there just pissed Nick off even more. It all felt like it was crumbling wildly out of control and he lashed out. “Did you fuck him again after you left me?”

Nick wanted to take the accusation back as soon as he said it, but it was too late. And he’d almost rather Galen confirm that it had been meaningless sex than something deeper.

“Name me one damn time that I haven’t been honest with you, one time that I ran around behind your back. Yes, I had a history of screwing everybody that came my way, but you knew it, and I didn’t try to hide it.” Galen stepped in close, his voice lowering and becoming harder. “And you know what? You weren’t a celibate fucking monk either. What were you doing the night we met? Looking for a hookup. How many times did you join me with someone else? Stop throwing my past in my face.”

“Why were you all buddy-buddy with him?” Nick said through clenched teeth.

“It’s not what you think,” Galen said in a gentle voice, laying his hand on Nick’s arm.

“You don’t know what I’m thinking.” Nick pulled away, stepping back toward the fountain. He just needed space to think, some quiet, but Galen wouldn’t quit poking at him.

“We’re friends, that’s it. We’ve done nothing more than have coffee together or hang out for some conversation. I haven’t screwed him since the last time the three of us were in bed together. Yeah, he might flirt on occasion. He might ask me out even though he knows the answer is no. I don’t want him, I—”

Nick cut him off with a quick, jerking motion of his hand. There lay the crux of it, the real hurt that underscored his anger. “You remained friends with him, but shut me out for six fucking months?”

Galen’s eyes widened and his mouth formed an “o” of surprise. “Nick….”

“You couldn’t call to check up on me? Maybe we could’ve gone out as just friends with no strings attached, no sex, just seeing each other without the pressure.” Nick flung his hand out in the direction Vincent had disappeared. Galen had left him in the complete dark, had given him nothing but a vague someday promise, and goddamn it… now he was pissed at himself for holding onto it so long, for letting it get to him like this. Galen hadn’t given a damn about him and his feelings. He’d been more concerned with himself.

“You know what? Never mind,” Nick snarled, turning away. “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to think about it. Just leave me the fuck alone, please. I just need to get my head together.”

“Wait.” Once again Galen grabbed him, Nick shoved, and Galen shoved him back with a curse as they grappled. Nick stumbled back; his heel struck stone, followed by the backs of his knees, and he lost his balance, toppling back into the fountain. A stream of cold water struck him in the face, dousing his fury under pure shock.

He looked up at Galen, who stared back at him, his eyes widening further as water soaked every inch of Nick. Concern quickly replaced the shock, and that only infuriated Nick more. He’d rather Galen laugh at him than show concern. Seething, Nick held out his hand, and without hesitation Galen grabbed it.

One quick jerk and a startled squawk, then Galen was there next to him, sitting up and pushing his sopping hair out of his face. “Are you satisfied now?” Galen asked acidly.

“Not by a long fucking shot.” Nick clambered out, ignoring the squelching of his shoes, the dripping of his clothes. “Just leave me alone. That’s what you’re best at.”

There was an ancient pain in Galen’s eyes, and for a moment he looked tired, as though he’d been through one too many battles. “You seem to be pretty good at walking away yourself. Do you think I’ll wait, like you waited?”

Nick turned to face him, shock rendering him incapable of speaking or thinking. Galen’s expression was so cold, so alien that he suddenly felt like he didn’t know him anymore. “Galen….”

“Go ahead and leave, get the fuck out of here. I don’t want to see you either.”

Nick clenched his fists and turned away. He didn’t trust himself to speak, didn’t trust himself to touch Galen. This time Galen didn’t call after him as he pushed his way through the crowd. His heart was buried up in his throat, cutting off his breathing. Fury kept warring with the feeling that he’d just lost everything that made the day-to-day bullshit matter.

G
ALEN
watched Nick storm off, water splashing around him, people goggling at him, and it stoked his anger. Where the hell did Nick get off accusing him of…? Well, he hadn’t really accused Galen of doing anything he hadn’t done. Galen had assumed that Nick thought he was cheating, but Nick hadn’t thought that at all.

He should’ve known better than to confront Nick right off. It was best to give him a little time to cool down and start thinking rationally, but the thought of him leaving, furious like that, thinking the worst, it was just something that Galen couldn’t do. And now the situation was even more fucked-up.

He sighed and pulled himself out of the water with as much dignity as he could muster given the circumstances. He ignored the whispers and titters as he stripped off his tie and began heading off in the opposite direction, even though he really longed to chase Nick down again so he could knock some sense into him. That would be a very bad idea, considering the mood they were both in. He didn’t want to say anything else that couldn’t be taken back or hear similar things from Nick’s lips.

Oddly enough, Lykon was silent as well. Galen thought that after an argument like that the man would’ve been eager to make his presence and thoughts known. He touched a hand to his chest and headed out of the plaza, his clothes clinging to him.

By the time Galen got to their apartment to change into dry clothes his anger had started to turn to regret. Nick wasn’t anywhere to be seen, and there was no evidence that he’d been by as well. He didn’t know who he was more upset at—himself or Nick. Nick was blowing the whole incident out of proportion. So what if Galen had remained friends with Vincent? It hadn’t been anything more than that. And the silence between them during the time when they were apart went both ways. Nick could’ve tried calling him too, once or twice, but he hadn’t.

Galen shoved a few overnight things and a change of clothes into a duffel bag. Nick wanted some space; well, he could damn well have it tonight. Galen needed it too, because it seemed like no matter what he did, Nick shoved him away. And Nick was so caught up in fixing the statues he wasn’t looking at fixing his own issues.

They both needed some distance for the night. Tomorrow they could sit down like rational adults and discuss things, because the thought of hashing it out right now made Galen ache too much. He had enough on his mind with the gala coming up. Couldn’t Nick have waited just a little bit longer before being hit with this sudden spate of insecurities? He couldn’t handle this right now.

Galen pulled out a piece of paper, frowning in thought before he scrawled a note. Nick wanted a little free time to think? Well, then, Galen would oblige. He hoped that Nick just meant a little time and wasn’t seeking a breakup. Galen closed his eyes against the pang that the thought brought him and replayed the whole argument over in his mind.

The only thing that stood out was the horror and heartbreak in Nick’s eyes when Galen had gone off on him after their dunking in the fountain. Galen shouldn’t have said what he’d said about not waiting. It was cruel, especially considering how Nick had just opened up to him about his mom abandoning him. Remembering it had him squirming inside. God, sometimes he really hated his temper. It took a lot to get him going, but when he did blow, he always regretted what he said and did.

Nick,

Look, I’m sorry, we both need to chill out a bit. You’re right. I did shut you out completely. And I know it seems cruel that I did it only with you and not Vincent, but he was safe. He was safe because I didn’t have the same feelings for him that I had for you so there was no risk in being friends with him. And if you thought that I meant I stopped hanging with everybody we used to screw around with when I stopped partying, I’m sorry for the confusion because I didn’t mean that.

And I never should’ve implied in any way that I’d screw someone else. That was me being an asshole. I think we just need to cool down. You want some space from me and I have a lot of work to do at the museum so I’m going to bull through it and crash on the couch. And I promise, I’ll be alone.

Let’s meet for breakfast tomorrow, at the café around the corner from our apartment. We have got to hash this out before we tear each other apart. Tomorrow at 10, I’ll save us a booth in the corner. I don’t want this to end, but damn, when are you going to start believing in us?

I love you.

Galen

Galen stuck the note on Amy and Rory’s cage where Nick would be sure to see it, threw the duffel bag over his shoulder, and headed out the door. As he locked it, a wave of dizziness struck him hard and fast. He leaned against the door with a groan as Lykon overwhelmed him.

Instinctively, he began fighting back, and then he stopped himself. What did it matter? Galen was too heartsick to care right now if Lykon went looking for Nick or Dexios. He just wanted an escape for a little bit. And maybe somehow, Lykon would find the solution because Galen didn’t know what to do anymore. At least Nick would know that it wasn’t him, and that was a small comfort.

“Fine, I’m not going to fight you this time,” Galen whispered as the other spirit washed over him and his sense of self vanished.

N
ICK
shifted the grocery bags to one hand as he pulled out his keys. It was still early enough that he was pretty sure he could get dinner started and the table set before Galen shut down the museum for the night. He’d really fucked up this time. Galen’s silence proved that. He hadn’t called or texted once the entire day.