Make Me Whole (34 page)

Galen slammed on the brakes, jerking the car to a stop. Moments later he was outside on his knees, dragging in great gulps of air that seemed to do nothing to ease the pressure on his chest. Lykon didn’t fight to get free; instead, the sense of his presence remained steady and strong, bolstering him instead of trying to take over.

“
It’s coming, be ready, stay strong. There is a test. There is always a test, I’m sorry.”
The inner voice shivered over him with a looming sense of dread.

Right now Galen didn’t want to be strong. He wanted someone to take care of him. He wanted to just let go in a way that he hadn’t allowed himself in a long time. For a moment he almost longed to let Lykon take over, and the presence inside of him grew stronger. Galen let it happen and sensed Lykon bolstering him without the same dizzy spell. Something deep inside him clicked, like a deadbolt sliding open.

Galen shook his head and shoved the voice back. This was embarrassing enough without making it worse with self-induced hysteria. A car door slammed shut, and then Nick was there, kneeling in front of him.

“Galen? Galen, talk to me.” The sense of Lykon drew back a bit, though it still hovered.

“I can’t. I can’t do it. Not today.” Galen shook his head and closed his eyes, not wanting to see the pity on his face.

“Hey, hey. Hush.” Nick’s arms came around him, holding on even though Galen tried to push him away. The thought of Nick seeing him like this brought the panic screaming back. Nick’s arms tightened around him. “It’s okay.”

“Dammit.” Galen shoved him away and stumbled to his feet. He didn’t look at Nick as he paced back and forth and tried to pull his jumbled thoughts together. He was an idiot for attempting this. Nick could’ve been hurt. Galen lived in the fucking city; he didn’t need to drive anywhere.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to help.”

Galen spun on Nick. “It was a stupid, fucked-up idea.”

Pain flashed in Nick’s eyes, and his jaw tightened. “I can see that. You’ve made your point. I won’t push you again.”

Frustrated, Galen turned away and shoved his hands in his pockets. His shirt clung to his skin, damp from sweat, and his limbs still felt shaky. “Nick….” His voice cracked. “If something happened to you because of me….”

Then Nick was there again and this time Galen didn’t resist when he pulled him into his arms. Everything he wanted was right there. Everything he feared to lose. “That accident wasn’t your fault. But you’re right, this wasn’t the best idea. Maybe if we found someone else to go out with you, someone other than me until you get used to driving again.”

Galen turned his face into Nick’s neck and breathed in his scent. He drank in the sensation of the sun on his skin and Nick holding him tight. Gradually, the cold sensation inside of him warmed. “I’m an idiot.”

“No. That’s me.” Nick kissed the top of his head. “I didn’t realize how deep it had a hold of you. You were gripping the wheel so hard that I couldn’t turn it half an inch. And when you went white…. We’ll find another way of tackling this problem.”

We.
Galen had just about bitten his head off, shoved him away, acted like a complete jackass when Nick had only been trying to help him to move on, and still he’d said “we.” Galen held on tighter and kissed the side of his neck.

“Thank you,” he mumbled.

Nick sank his hand into Galen’s hair and tipped his head back. Galen’s eyes half-closed, and longing filled up the empty place inside of him that the panic had stripped bare. He wanted Nick’s hands on him, rough and wild, leaving his ass stinging, the skin hot to the touch. He wanted Nick’s mouth leaving marks on his neck. Just then, Galen wished they hadn’t promised his mom dinner tonight.

“I know that look,” Nick said with a soft chuckle. “That’s a much better expression on you.”

“What? Other than bald-faced terror?”

Nick’s gaze became serious, and his knuckles grazed Galen’s jaw. “Yeah. Are you feeling better?”

Galen nodded and took a step back before Nick could ask any more questions. “A little wrung out, but better. Look, we should get going. Mom’s expecting us, and I’d like to stop somewhere and pick up a new shirt. I’ve sweated through this one.”

“Okay.” Galen sensed Nick’s worried eyes on him as he walked back toward the passenger side. His legs still felt a bit shaky, and he’d really rather be anywhere, doing anything other than getting back in that little metal coffin.

“Hey, Galen.”

Galen looked up and met Nick’s eyes across the top of his car. “When we get home tonight, I’m going to answer that look you gave me a moment ago.”

A little thrill went through Galen, and it gave him a boost of energy. The sense of Lykon seemed to subside, as if he knew that the time for fear was over. Galen found himself smiling as he leaned closer, folding his arms on the roof of the car. “Is that a promise?”

Nick’s answering smile was wicked to the core. “No, sweetheart, that’s a fact.”

N
ICK
had enjoyed the chance to meet Galen’s mother. She hadn’t been anything like what he had expected, which just went to show that his whole viewpoint of mothers was skewed. She had been zany and warm without any of the abstracted distance that Nick’s mom had hidden behind more and more before she’d left. And it was obvious that she cared about Galen. It made him miss his dad. Nick had a lot to make up for with him, but that was a problem he was working on.

Nick touched the small of Galen’s back as they climbed the stairs up to the apartment and sensed Galen’s answering shiver. He’d been a little quieter than normal during dinner, though gradually the lines of strain around his eyes and mouth had eased. There had to be another way for him to get past this terror. As much as Nick hated to admit it—because he wanted to be the one to help Galen—it would probably be best if he weren’t the passenger at first. Galen might be better off with a generic driving school.

Galen fumbled with the keys at the door, and Nick swept aside the hair at the nape of Galen’s neck. He leaned in closer, breathing in his scent, and heard the catch of his breath. “I haven’t forgotten that look you gave me earlier.”

Galen shivered again, harder this time, and Nick felt the raised hairs on Galen’s neck as he brushed a kiss over the spot. “I was hoping you hadn’t,” Galen replied in a husky voice.

“Once you walk through that door, you’re all mine.”

“I’m all yours anyway.” Galen turned his head and looked back at him in the dim light coming from their neighbor’s apartment.

“One rule before we start—”

Galen’s eyebrows knitted together in a frown. “Rule?”

“Yeah, and it’s not one I’m going to compromise on either.” Nick wasn’t sure how far Galen wanted to take a submissive role, and Nick didn’t want to step over that line and do something Galen wasn’t ready for. That could damage this fragile trust they’d worked so hard to build. “If it reaches a point where you want to stop, you tell me. If I find out later that you didn’t and we went to place where you weren’t comfortable, it’s going to piss me off. Trust goes both ways with this. Do you understand?”

They were both pretty new to this submission/domination game, and Nick didn’t want there to be regrets later on. He knew that Galen wasn’t into the idea of punishment, even if he liked spankings, and that was an important distinction to know. And that was just tapping the surface of what they could do.

“Yeah, I trust you to be in control, and in return you trust me to let you know if I get freaked.” Galen’s eyes were solemn as he held Nick’s gaze. “I swear, I’ll tell you.”

Nick smiled and took the keys from Galen’s hand. He reached around him to unlock the door and gestured into the darkened apartment. “After you.”

“How do you make two words sound so sexy?” Galen didn’t hesitate as he stepped over the threshold, and a hot thrill went through Nick in anticipation. His hands trembled, and he almost dropped the keys. He’d never been in this position before, where someone wanted to hand over that much power, and he wanted a few minutes alone to make sure he was in complete control of himself.

“I’m going to let the kids out for a bit. Go take a shower and be waiting for me.” Nick flipped on the light and gave Galen a gentle shove toward the hallway.

“Don’t be long, okay?”

“Trust me.” Nick winked, and Galen headed off with a light laugh. Thoughts of Galen naked, Galen begging, Galen writhing occupied Nick’s mind as he let Amy and Rory out while he filled their water and feed dish. He let them roam about until he heard the sound of the water shutting off in the bathroom. “Okay, you two, sorry for the short break, but in you go.”

Amy protested loudly as Nick bundled them back in the cage, though she settled down when he covered it with the blanket. He didn’t feel too bad for them since they had been out all day until he and Galen had left. Nick washed his hands, listening to the sound of Galen moving about in the bedroom. He couldn’t help but wonder how far Galen wanted to take this.

Nick went back to join him and paused in the doorway to the bedroom. Galen had stretched out on his stomach on the bed, his skin damp and flushed from the heat of the water. Nick’s cock grew heavy at the sight. His gaze traveled down the length of Galen’s spine, over the tempting curve of his ass and down Galen’s legs to his toes. Galen watched him with mock innocence, crossed his arms and rested his chin on them. “You’re too far away.”

Nick crossed his arms as well and leaned against the doorjamb before he gave into the temptation lying in front of him. He’d thought about this more often than he should have over dinner, and he wanted to play, not rush things. “You haven’t told me what you wanted.”

Galen wiggled his ass and raised one eyebrow. “I want your hands on my ass.”

Nick’s cock jumped, and he rubbed a hand over his chin as he contemplated that ass. “That’s a given, but I want you to say the words.”

Galen’s eyes went hot and his squirming stilled. “I want you to spank me, hard enough that you leave handprints. And I want you to keep spanking me until I’m hot and sore and it stings even when you touch me gently.”

The image that Galen’s words gave him filled Nick with a rush of adrenaline. “That’s a good start. What else?”

Galen’s brow furrowed. “Isn’t that enough?”

“You tell me.” Nick shrugged out of his shirt and tossed it in the direction of the dresser. “Given the way you were looking at me earlier, I think that’s not all you were longing for. What were you thinking when you looked at me like that?”

Twin spots of color appeared on Galen’s cheeks, and he wet his lips. He looked so damn beautiful like that, with a touch of shyness and a lot of desire. “I was thinking that I wanted to be helpless with you,” Galen said in a quieter voice, lowering his gaze.

“Look at me.” Galen snapped his eyes back up, and the color on his cheeks deepened. “How helpless?”

Nick wasn’t sure if Galen would answer as he shifted restlessly on the bed. He looked away, then jerked his gaze back to Nick. “Completely.”

The possibilities that rose in Nick’s mind…. They really needed to go shopping together for toys sometime soon. Nick retrieved a few silk ties from the closet. At least they’d be good for something other than choking him on a weekday. Galen stared at the ties as Nick emerged and groaned under his breath. “The next time you wear those to work I hope you can’t function the whole day.”

Nick laughed and tossed the ties on the bed before kicking off his shoes. “I think I’ll retire them, maybe make a shrine on my wall.” He drew Galen’s hands behind his back and bound them. The gray silk looked better there than it did around Nick’s throat. “Is it too tight?”

“Nope.”

“Good.” Nick picked up another tie and scooted down the bed to bind Galen’s ankles together. “If you want me to stop, flip me a double bird.”

“What’s wrong with just saying stop?” Galen craned his neck to look over his shoulder, and Nick gave him a wicked grin.

“It might be a little hard to understand you when you have a gag in your mouth.”

Galen’s eyes widened, and Nick waited to see if he’d change his mind about wanting to be completely helpless. Then he shivered, and his muscles relaxed as he nodded. “Gagged it is.”

Nick brought his mouth to Galen’s ear as he picked up another tie. “I bet you’re harder than you’ve ever been at the thought.”

“You would be right.”

Nick grasped Galen’s chin and kissed him. Galen groaned, his mouth going soft in surrender. Nick kissed him more deeply, stroking Galen’s hip, and when he pulled back, Galen’s eyes were hazy. Nick smiled and tied the gag on. The sight of the red-striped gray silk between Galen’s lips made Nick’s cock ache even more. He dropped a kiss on the corner of Galen’s parted lips. “You okay?”

Galen nodded with no trace of the panic that Nick had seen earlier in his expression. If anything, he looked even more eager to get on with it. Nick stood and savored the heat in Galen’s eyes while he watched Nick undress. Galen groaned and stared at Nick’s cock with that look he got when he wanted to go down on him. Nick’s heart quickened. That was definitely a thought to explore later, after he had driven Galen out of his mind.

He scooped up the final tie, bound it over Galen’s eyes, and looked down to admire his handiwork. Galen laid his cheek down on the bed, his breathing deep and even, his body relaxed. A surge of tenderness made Nick breathless. They had something special together despite the rocky start and the lingering issues they were struggling to overcome. He wasn’t going to let it end.

Nick straddled Galen’s body on his hands and knees and hovered over him. “Helpless suits you, Galen. You should see yourself right now.”

Galen made a sound behind the gag and tilted his head to give Nick better access to his neck. “It’s not going to be that easy, sweetheart,” Nick murmured as he lowered his mouth to Galen’s neck. He nuzzled, brushed kisses, and breathed against the sensitive skin. Galen squirmed, making pleading sounds as Nick remained gentle.

Nick felt the goose bumps on Galen’s neck when he scraped his teeth, but he didn’t do anything harder than that. The sound of Galen’s wordless begging was too intoxicating to give in so soon. Nick moved lower and pressed open kisses along Galen’s spine. He paused on occasion and sucked, leaving little red marks behind.