Mad About You (30 page)

‘Babs doesn’t have a garden,’ I said. ‘You won’t need it.’

‘But it’s my Liverpool one. I love it.’ Yuri hugged it.

I crouched down. ‘Yuri, pet, why don’t you leave it in your bedroom so it’s safe? When we come back we’ll play with it.’

He shook his head vehemently. There was no getting around him and I didn’t have time for intricate arguments. ‘OK, put the ball in.’

‘What about Mr Hippo?’ Lara complained.

‘He’s just too big.’

‘It’s not fair, Mummy.’ She burst into tears.

I grabbed Mr Hippo and flung him into the suitcase. ‘Fine, he can bloody well come.’

‘You said a bad word and you’re grumpy again,’ Yuri noted.

‘Hello?’ Claire’s voice called from downstairs.

Yuri and Lara ran down. ‘We’re going on holidays,’ they told her.

I followed them, lugging the suitcase.

‘What’s going on?’ Claire asked, puzzled.

Seeing her reminded me that I wanted to talk to her about buying the kids sweets and fizzy drinks, but I didn’t have the energy. I couldn’t face a confrontation. Not now, not with everything that was going on.

‘We’re going on a little trip.’ I decided to be vague. I didn’t want Claire to know my marriage was in tatters. ‘But don’t worry, I’ll pay you while I’m gone.’

‘It’s kind of sudden. Is everything all right?’

I busied myself with the locks on the suitcase. ‘Yes, I just fancy a break.’

‘Is James going too – a family holiday?’

‘Uhm, no. He’s away at a match in Toulouse. He’ll be back on Sunday.’ I felt my resolve breaking and I began to cry.

Claire ushered the children into the lounge. She came back and put her arm around me. ‘What’s wrong?’ she asked gently.

I wiped my eyes. ‘It’s this stalker person. She’s ruining our lives. I need a break from it all. I need to get away and clear my head. Everything is such a mess. I just don’t understand any of it. Who is this person? Why is she trying to ruin my marriage?’

Claire looked a bit sheepish. ‘Actually, Emma, I didn’t tell you this because you’ve been so stressed, but there is a
woman at the school who’s been asking me questions about James.’

My head snapped up. ‘Which woman?’

‘The one with the long blonde hair and the really tight jeans and she always wears high heels, even when it’s raining.’

I racked my brains. There were quite a few mothers who fitted that description. ‘What did she ask you?’

‘Just what James did and where he worked and stuff.’

I stared at her. ‘Why didn’t you tell me? It must be her. How long ago was this?’

Claire looked uncomfortable. ‘A couple of weeks.’

‘Do you know what her kids are called?’ I wanted to find out her name.

She shook her head. ‘She has one boy, but he’s in the baby class.’

‘Oh, my God, it must be her.’ I was annoyed with Claire for not telling me. This was the woman. It had to be. I’d be able to confront her on Monday at the school gate. I’d get Claire to come with me and point her out. I’d give that bitch a piece of my mind.

Claire was worried now. ‘Emma, it might not be her. She could have been interested in James because of his London Irish jacket.’

‘No, it’s definitely her, it has to be.’

Yuri and Lara came out. ‘Are we going?’ Lara asked.

I bent down to her. ‘Yes, pet.’

‘Would you like me to do a grocery shop for James while you’re gone and keep the place tidy and do some laundry?’ Claire asked.

That was a great idea. I beckoned her to the side of the hall. ‘Actually, Claire, that would be great. Can you keep an eye out and let me know if anything or anyone arrives to the house? I’d really appreciate it.’

Claire put a hand on my arm. ‘I’d be happy to. Don’t worry, I’ll be here to look after everything. You go and try to relax. You deserve a break, you look exhausted.’

I hugged her. ‘Thanks, Claire, you’re a rock.’

I rang Babs from the car to tell her about the knickers and to let her know that we were moving in with her. She said we could stay for a few days but no more because her apartment was small and she didn’t want the kids breaking her things. She sounded very stressed at the idea of it and, really, I couldn’t blame her.

When we arrived, she showed the children her tiny spare room, then got snappy when they jumped on the bed.

‘Could you try to be a bit nicer?’ I asked.

‘I don’t want my stuff getting wrecked,’ she barked.

‘Fine. I’ll tie them to a chair. Will that make you happy?’

‘Don’t be stupid.’

‘Sorry, I’m just freaking out here.’ I went into the spare bedroom and told the kids to unpack the suitcase in the hope that it would keep them busy and out of trouble for ten minutes.

When I came out, Babs was sitting on the sofa, her feet curled under her. ‘Emma, there’s something weird about this supposed affair. It doesn’t add up. The whole thing is so wacky. Who the hell would have an affair with a nut-job? If it is this school mum, why would she ask your nanny questions about your husband? Surely she knew Claire would tell you.’

‘She’s obviously deranged, so maybe she doesn’t care.’

Babs shrugged. ‘I suppose so. Anyway, I have to go to work. I told them I’d be late, but I have to be in for eleven. Please try and stop the kids from trashing my apartment.’

Yuri and Lara were soon causing havoc in Babs’s shoebox
home, so I decided to take them out for a few hours to tire them. We spent the afternoon in Hyde Park, feeding the ducks and going for tea and scones in the coffee shop. Then I walked them down Oxford Street and we went for pizza in a little restaurant off Marylebone Lane. By the time we got back to Babs’s that evening, the children were exhausted. They collapsed into bed and were fast asleep before their heads hit the pillows.

I closed the bedroom door and sank into the couch. Babs was watching Gok Wan’s show, where he was doing a make-over. She kept muttering about how much better she was. Her face was very pale and she had black rings under her eyes. ‘I saw you arguing with Gary at work on Tuesday. What happened? Did you tell him about the abortion?’

Babs put her hands over her face and groaned. ‘He is the biggest prick that ever lived,’ she fumed.

‘What happened?’

‘It was later, when I was packing up to leave for the day. He came into the makeup room and shut the door. He asked me why I was avoiding him and said he was sorry about “the other thing”, as he so brilliantly put it.’

‘He’s such a dickhead,’ I said, feeling my blood boiling at the mere thought of him.

‘So he says, “Look, Babs, we have to work together and everyone’s noticed how icy the atmosphere has been. Can we just put this behind us and be professional about it? I can see you’re angry and I get that. But it’s over now, we need to move on.”’

‘It’s all about Gary,’ I observed.

‘So I told him exactly how angry I was and why. “You filled me with bullshit about your unhappy marriage and your bitch of a wife and when I got pregnant you didn’t want to know me. You’re such a great guy, Gary. A real gem.”’

‘Good for you.’ I was delighted she had stood up to him. ‘What did he say?’

‘He sneered at me, “And you’re such a lovely girl with such a pure reputation. No one in the industry thinks you’re a slut. No one thinks you’re an easy shag. Do you know what they call you? The Irish greyhound. You’re like a dog in heat. Every man knows you’ll shag him if it’ll help your career. You think you’re so hot. Wake up, babe, this is TV. There’s always someone better-looking, smarter and more ambitious coming up behind you.”’

My mouth fell open. ‘What? How dare he? That’s – that’s horrible.’

‘Yeah, I was pretty shocked myself, but I just told him he was full of crap and that I’m a brilliant presenter, and then he really stuck his boot in.’ Babs looked upset. ‘He told me that the ratings went down after I shouted at that guest last week who was colour-blind and that people are sick of my arrogance and my bluntness. He says he’ll have me replaced within six weeks.’

I was outraged. ‘That’s rubbish. People love it that you’re so honest. It’s your thing, your trademark. It’s what makes you different. Don’t let him threaten you like that. He has no right. I bet you he’s bluffing so you’ll leave.’

‘The problem is, Emma, that if I get fired from a crappy show on a TV channel that has mediocre viewing figures at the best of times, I’m screwed. This show was supposed to be a stepping stone. I was using it as a launching pad to showcase my talent. But now they’re going to replace me and it won’t be easy to get another presenting job.’

‘But he can’t get away with that! It’s outrageous! He’s trying to fire you because of the pregnancy.’

Babs sighed. ‘What can I do? If my ratings are down, he’s entitled to fire me.’

‘You could threaten to tell his wife,’ I suggested.

‘I did,’ Babs admitted. ‘But he said I’d never work in TV again. He could ruin my career. The producers are the ones with all the power in TV.’

‘Oh, Babs, I could strangle him. He is such a scumbag.’

Babs clasped her hands together. ‘I know, but unless my agent can find me something really quickly, my career could be over.’ Her eyes were filling. This was Babs: she never cried. She was absolutely devastated: first the abortion, then being dumped and now her job …

I needed to boost her confidence. ‘Don’t you dare let that snake knock you down. Get onto your agent and start auditioning for other jobs. You’re brilliant at what you do. OK, you can be harsh at times, but your honesty is what makes you stand out. Don’t let this stop you. It’s just a bump in the road. Come on, stiff upper lip, onwards and upwards!’ I’d morphed into our mother.

‘I rang my agent first thing this morning. She’s going to look around for me.’

‘Good for you.’

‘I just can’t believe I was so stupid. I actually believed him. Me! The most cynical person alive! I believed a total tosser when he said he loved me. Christ, I can’t even bear to think of him. How did I ever fancy him? He is so gross. I hope he gets syphilis from his next fling and that his dick falls off.’

‘I hope James gets it too.’

We smiled, despite our situations.

Babs’s phone beeped and she showed it to me. It was a text from James:
Have you heard from Emma?

She replied:
Yes she fine no thks 2 u!!!!

Her phone rang. It was James.

‘Answer it and put it on loudspeaker,’ I urged her, rushing over to close the bedroom door so the children wouldn’t wake up.

‘I did not have an affair!’ James sounded furious.

‘Really? Well, how the hell did those red knickers end up in your drawer?’

Go, Babs! I gave her the thumbs-up.

‘I have absolutely no idea, but I swear to you, I did not put them there. Come on, Babs, you know me. I love Emma, I love my kids and all I do is work. I haven’t got time for an affair.’

‘It doesn’t take much time for a quick shag.’

‘I have no interest in other women. I love my wife.’

My hardened heart softened a tiny bit.

‘Have you heard from Emma? She won’t answer my calls.’

‘She’s staying here with me for a few days. Give her some space. You can’t rush her on this.’

‘I swear on my children’s lives I have not been unfaithful. I’ve been racking my brains, but I just don’t see who could be doing this. I’m hiring a detective to get to the bottom of it. It’s destroying my life.’ James’s voice wobbled.

My heart melted a little more.

Babs was having none of it. ‘Oh, God, don’t start getting emotional. Where’s that stiff upper lip you Brits are born with? Come on, James, pull it together. I think a detective is a good idea. You need to prove to Emma that you’re not a cheating scumbag.’

‘Will you please talk to her for me?’

Babs smiled at me. ‘Look, I’ll tell her I think you’re innocent, but you need to get the proof.’

‘I will, thanks.’

Babs hung up. ‘Well?’

I had a lump in my throat. He had sounded so upset, so genuine, so … like the old James. My head throbbed.

Babs fished in her bag and handed me a tablet.

‘What is it?’

‘Xanax.’

‘Are you nuts? I’m not taking this.’

‘Emma, there are times in your life when prescribed medication is vital. I’ve been living on these since … well, since the baby thing.’ Babs popped one into her mouth. ‘They take the edge off.’

What the hell? Taking the edge off sounded great. I held out my hand.