Loving Rowan (2 page)

I
was crouched
, plugging a drive in when they walked into my office. As soon as I laid eyes on him, I knew Kyle Warner was that cute guy from the bus. All I really remembered from that day was that he talked to me as if he were really interested in what I had to say. I was still all over the place after discovering Andrew and Charlie were together. Afterwards, I’d spent hours analysing the conversation, as I was prone to do. I just didn’t get other people, and trusting anyone was difficult. Even talking was difficult at times, and I practically whispered when I got shy.

He had dark hair, blue eyes, and the height I remembered. More often than not I’m as tall, if not taller than the men I meet. Not him.

Then, there was that smile. I felt so self-conscious as he’d looked me over, but I knew there was nothing to get excited about. There were plenty of girls in the office much better looking than me. When he left, I went back to my work and managed to push through a whole bunch of little issues I’d been having. The morning was really productive, it was always nice to solve a problem without any help, and I was quite proud of what I had done.

Taking out my lunch, I pulled a face. It was boring and not that appetising, but since I had moved into my apartment ever dollar counted, and I was saving as much as possible. Reluctantly, I made my way to the staff room.

The other staff were all chatting, and I always felt awkward around them. They had known each other for so long, and knew everything about each other. I was still the new girl.

I sat off to the side by myself at a small table. They all glanced at me as I sat and smiled back at them before sitting. It was a fleeting moment before they were back to their chatter, and I focused on my food, not even realising at first that he was there.

He just sat at my table, and starting talking. I was so shell-shocked he was talking to me, I can’t even remember what he said, but I wanted to crawl into a hole in the ground. All I recall is him looking at my lunch for some reason, and saying it looked healthy.

What I really wanted was a cheeseburger and fries.

I looked away; his face was so animated. Did he really want to talk to me? Was he just teasing? If I left the room, would he be laughing at me too? I wish I wasn’t so paranoid.

Making friends as an adult was even more difficult now than it had been when I was a child. I slunk away back to my office, where I could look online for something I’d been saving for. I’d promised myself when I had enough sitting in the bank, I would buy myself a console to play games. Most nights I curled up in bed with a laptop and streamed television shows off the net, or buried myself in a book. At least a console would give me something new to do.

Ignoring the nagging feeling in the back of my head that I should be getting out more, and meeting new people, I found the best deal and clicked buy. The feeling was exhilarating, having not bought anything nice and expensive for myself. As I filled in the credit card details, I thought of Andrew and Charlie. We’d talked about doing something like this for the house we shared, but none of us ever had the money to do it.

That thought made me feel more lonely than ever. I looked up, watching people walk up and down the corridor past my office, wishing it was easier to just put myself out there to make friends.

Instead, I went back to the website and started looking at more games that I could buy to play. The console came with a couple that were multiplayer, but also single player. I didn’t need much more than that.

I clapped in excitement at the screen. With any luck it would be with me in the next few days, and I could bury myself in a world where I felt good about myself. Not this horrible real world, where I was never sure of people’s intentions and too shy to approach anyone.

Without a doubt this was just another way to bury myself, and I knew it was a bad move, driving me further into my self-imposed isolation.

At the end of the day, I walked out to my car, taking a glimpse at the reception desk as I went past, just in case my package had already arrived. I knew there wasn’t much chance of that, but it was worth a look.

I heard laughter as I unlocked my door, and I looked up to see Kyle Warner chatting with one of the sales reps. She was twirling her hair through her fingers, and gently rocking from side to side. As difficult as I found it to read what men were thinking, her thoughts were really out there for the world to see. She would have done him in a heartbeat.

He looked towards me, and for a moment our eyes locked. He smiled, rolling his eyes as if sharing some private joke with me that he didn’t want to listen to her.

I grinned, looking down into my car, and sliding into the front seat. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was flirting, but a sinking feeling in my stomach brought me back to earth thinking of the last person who’d made me feel that way.

Closing my eyes, I sat for a moment, wondering what was behind that smile. I was probably reading too much into it. It wouldn’t be the first time, and I wasn’t about to lose everything because of it.

No matter how gorgeous he was.

S
he was gorgeous
; the shy looks, the almost whispered sentences when I managed to get words out of her … For whatever reason, I wanted to wrap her in cotton wool and protect her. I imagined her to be this fragile thing that would break at the first sign of trouble.

Tall and thin, she looked awkward in her own body, but that smile, that amazing smile made the day brighter. Suffice to say, that I was very interested in Miss Rowan Taylor.

Then, she’d be asked about her project, the work she was doing for this system migration, whatever that meant. She’d light up like a child at Christmas, speaking in acronyms. I had no idea what she meant most of the time, but her soft voice was hypnotic, and I found myself paying close attention to what she was saying. Even if I didn’t understand it.

Dad was clearly taken with her too, deferring to her for information instead of her manager. I suspected that was due to the old guy being due for retirement. If Rowan stuck around, she’d be the future of the company, just as I was, and I looked forward to working with her for a long time to come.

A few days after my return, I saw a courier come in with a package for her, and I jumped in to sign for it.

“I’ll call Rowan and let her know it’s here. I know she’s been waiting for it; she’s only been asking every five minutes if it’s arrived,” Miriam said.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll swing by and drop it off.” I smiled at her, and she laughed.

“Watch yourself, Kyle. Don’t you upset that girl.”

“Anyone would think I was a menace.” I winked. She laughed, shooing me away with the package.

I strolled down the corridor, whistling as I went and waving to the staff, most of whom looked at me and shook their heads at my enthusiasm.

Dad had an unwritten rule about staff relationships, and Rowan tempted me to break it. Maybe I’d ask her out.

I turned the final corner to her office, and tapped on the door before opening it. She had bits of computer strewn all over the lino, and I shook my head, grinning at the mess.

“This arrived for you,” I said waving it around.

She raised her eyes, smiling at the sight of what was in my arms. “Can you just leave it there, by the door? I had to pull this server apart, to work out what had died. Sorry for the mess.”

I shrugged. “You’re just doing your job.” I grinned at her, deciding to chance it and deliver it in to her arms. Gingerly, I made my way towards her before tripping over a power cord and dropping her parcel. It fell to the floor, landing with a loud crack.

“Oh, shit,” I said, bending to pick it up.

Her jaw dropped, looking at the box. She closed her eyes briefly before holding her hands out for it.

“Rowan, if it’s broken, I’ll get you a new one. Whatever it is.”

She shook her head. “It was my fault. Don’t worry about it.”

“It wasn’t your fault. I should have just left it at the door.”

“Don’t worry about it, Kyle,” she snapped, pulling the box away from me and sitting it on the bin.

“Aren’t you going to open it?”

“I think that cracking sound was pretty definitive, don’t you?” she snapped.

She looked away, her cheeks aflame. Her reaction made me feel even more guilty.

“I need to get on with this. Thanks for bringing me the parcel,” she mumbled.

“You’re welcome.” I scratched my head. “I guess.”

Closing the door as I left, I kicked the wall on the other side of the hall. “Stupid. So Stupid.”

I waited until I saw her leave for the day. Her shoulders were slumped, and there was no smile on her face as there usually was. We’d only known each other a few days, but I’d not seen her upset. She just looked miserable now.

Going into her office, I retrieved the package from where it sat on top of the bin. It was apparent that she’d opened it, presumably to see what the damage was. The paper it was wrapped on had been ripped from the box, and the end of the box torn open. It was a gaming console, and I could see the big crack that ran down the centre of it, rendering it useless.

“Oh, crap.” I could see why she was upset. She’d been waiting for it and I had screwed up, being so keen to impress her, or something. Hell, I didn’t even know why I was acting like I was. Why on earth didn’t I listen to her? No wonder she was pissed.

Sighing, I turned it over in my hands. I’d have to find some way to make it up to her.

I
hate being so meek
, so bad at standing up for myself. That whole incident this afternoon had upset me more than I could ever let Kyle see.

Sometimes, I wanted to break out of myself, be this laughing, smiling extrovert who could enchant others. There was a salesperson at work in particular I thought of when that thought crossed my mind. She was the one I saw in the car park flirting with Kyle. I wanted to be more like her.

I sat on the couch, fidgeting, and looking at the remains of my purchase on the coffee table. I’d rescued the controller that came with the console, and the games that were in the package. As upset as I was, I wasn’t about to harass the boss’s son into buying me something new.

I lay down, looking up at the ceiling, and wondering what Charlie and Andrew were doing. It was nights like this I thought of them the most, as I still tried to fill the gap. At first, I’d immersed myself in work and research that my big project required. As time progressed, the need for that had lessened, and this had been the next thing I’d thought of to take my mind off things.

Maybe I should just get a pet.

I jumped as a thud came from the door, as if something fell against it. When it happened again, I went over to the door and slowly opened it. There, large as life, was Kyle Warner, his arms full of packages and a grin across his face like the cat that got the cream.

“So, I guess the address you gave HR was right. Can I come in? This is a bit awkward.”

I stood back, staring as he walked past, placing the packages on the couch. He began to unpack everything, and I raised an eyebrow at a console being pulled out of a bag, the same as the one that had broken.

“What are you doing?”

“Unpacking your new purchase.”

I shook my head. “No, the one I bought broke.”

“It was my fault. So, I’m righting the wrong, and replacing it.”

Sighing, I closed the door, taking a step closer to the couch.

“You didn’t have to do that. It was my fault the floor was a mess.”

He looked up at me, his blue eyes twinkling with excitement. “Well it’s too late for that, I’ve done it. Come on, don’t you want to get this all connected?”

I chewed my bottom lip before sighing again, and rolling my eyes. “I suppose so.”

Oh God, I think I’m acting like I’m about twelve.

“You can’t tell me you’re not just a little excited, Rowan.”

Now I sucked my upper lip in, shaking my head slowly, and trying not to smile.

“Fine.” I grinned, and he held his hand out for mine.

I rolled my eyes again, taking his hand as he pulled me down onto the floor beside him. “I think you need to plug all this stuff into the television. I have no idea.”

Laughing, I shook my head as I crawled around the back of the TV with the cables, running them back through the cabinet to the front where the console was supposed to sit.

Working together we plugged it all in, and he sat, looking puzzled at the one controller he’d pulled out of the box. I was about to tell him that I’d rescued the one from the other box, when he reached into a bag and pulled another one out.

“I even bought one of these for me. I thought I could play with you … I mean, we could play with each other. Damn it. I mean we could play together.” He grinned, and I knew damn well his play on words had been deliberate.

I cocked an eyebrow. “Just for you?”

“Yeah. I bought a controller just for me. Is that okay?”

Sitting on the couch, I picked up a game that he’d bought. “I guess so.”

“Car racing then, from the looks of what you’ve picked up. Hope you’re a good driver. Hey, have you had dinner yet?”

It took me a moment to take in what he was saying, he spoke so quickly.

“Um, no, I hadn’t thought about it.”

“Let’s order pizza, and we’ll get started. Want to make a bet on who is going to kick who’s arse?”

I just laughed, slapping my forehead. “Remind me how you came to be at my place?”

“I felt guilty. I was trying to do you a favour and bring you that package. I should have done what you asked. This is my way of apologising. Though, I have just realised that I’ve crashed your Friday night and not even considered that you might have a date.” We locked eyes, and my heart thumped at that gorgeous smile of his.

I’m such an idiot. He’s just being nice because of what happened.

“No, no date. Just a quiet night in.”

“Cool. I’ll order a pizza to be delivered. Anything in particular you want?”

I shook my head, watching as he dialled and ordered. This was the nicest anyone had really been to me since I’d broken up with my former best friends. Maybe I’d found a new friend. He hadn’t been back in the country for long. Some day he’ll find a girl as gorgeous as he is, and our friendship will be shoved aside.

For now, I smiled, picking up a controller and laughing as I beat him in our first race. At least tonight would be fun. I just wish it didn’t feel like he was flirting with me.

He couldn’t be, could he?