Loving Lucas (7 page)

“I’ve been waiting for ten years to finish what I started.”

“Please….”

“Well, I will. Damn soon. And no one can stop me, not

even your pretty boyfriend.”

“Riley, leave everyone else out of this.”

“Honestly, I can’t believe you managed to land anyone,

Lucas. Not looking like you do now.”

The words sliced into him, just as Riley had known they

would, and Lucas felt sick, as the phone was pulled from his hand.

“You don’t want to play this game, you bastard. If you

come after him, I will be there, and trust me when I tell you I will kill you before I allow you to hurt him.”

Watching Nicholas hang up the phone, Lucas said

nothing. He couldn’t form a thought. He couldn’t do

anything, it seemed, but remember what Riley had said.

“Honestly, I can’t believe you managed to land anyone,

Lucas. Not looking like you do now.”

“Nic….”

Nicholas knelt down in front of him, taking Lucas’s

hands into his.

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“Don’t. Don’t you dare let that bastard do this. I know

what you’re thinking, Luc, and there isn’t a chance in hell that I’m gonna just let you slip away from me now.”

Eyes closing again, Lucas didn’t resist when Nicholas

pulled him into his arms. He simply let himself melt into the warmth and comfort of the embrace, burying his face against Nicholas’s neck and holding on tight.

WITHIN two hours, a tap was placed on Lucas’s phone and

Nicholas had a uniformed officer inside the bookstore.

As difficult as it was, Nicholas forced himself to think

like a professional, to focus on catching Riley rather than his desire to take Lucas and get the hell out of town. He had

thought of a dozen places they could go, places where Riley would never think to look for them, but Nicholas knew Lucas would never agree to run.

But what he would do had Nicholas worried.

In the time since the call, Lucas had hardly spoken,

would hardly look at him, and Nicholas knew what was

happening. Lucas was pulling away from him and he hated

it. Lucas had finally told him he loved him, finally admitted he wanted them to be together, to work at having a future,

but one phone call from Riley had shattered that.

I won’t let go now. We’re too close to what we want
.

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Finishing his conversation with the deputy he had

assigned to watch the store, Nicholas went back upstairs to the apartment and let himself inside.

“Luc?”

“I’m in the bedroom.”

Closing and locking the door, he walked into the

bedroom to find Lucas sitting on the bed, arms resting on his knees as he stared at the floor.

“I have someone watching downstairs and I’ve got an

officer to stand outside of Sasha’s place tonight, just to be on the safe side.”

“Thanks.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Luc.”

Silence settled between them and Nicholas waited half a

second before crossing the room to sit down beside Lucas on the bed. He didn’t reach out to touch him, as much as he

wanted to. He sensed the need Lucas had for physical space

and, for the moment, Nicholas was willing to allow him that, but he wasn’t going to be coolly pushed away.

Never again, and certainly not because Riley Miller was

trying to undermine Lucas.

That bastard had better pray it’s one of my deputies and
not me who finds him.

“He’s going to come after me, Nic.”

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“Luc.”

“And if you’re in his way, he will kill you.”

“He’s not going to kill me or you,” Nicholas insisted, but

Lucas shook his head.

“I can’t believe I’m so stupid.”

“Stupid? Luc, you are anything but stupid.”

“You don’t understand.” He looked at Nicholas, tangled

emotions in his eyes. “When it became obvious that Riley

had some sort of fixation on me, I offered to help his mother get him the help he really needed, but she refused.”

“That’s on her. Not you.”

“I should have insisted. At the very least I should have

taken it more seriously.”

“Luc….”

“I didn’t consider him a danger, Nic. I didn’t think I had

to be afraid.”

Standing, he moved to the dresser, bracing his hands

against it, his back to Nicholas, who bit his lip, holding back his need to reassure Lucas again, sensing that something

was close to the surface, something Lucas needed to get out.

“I thought he was a confused kid. I didn’t think he would

try and hurt me. I didn’t see how sick he really was until it was too late and there was nothing I could do to stop him, to keep him from doing whatever in the hell he wanted to do.”

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“I was completely powerless and…he was insane and I

knew it then. I knew I should have seen it before, but I didn’t and because I didn’t, I nearly died.”

Standing, Nicholas slowly crossed the room, standing

behind Lucas but not touching him.

“Luc, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Don’t. Please, don’t say that. Everyone says that.”

“Because it’s true,” Nicholas whispered. “Don’t take the

blame for what Riley did onto yourself because you don’t

deserve it. He’s responsible for his sins.”

“I should have done more.”

“You did what you could.”

Lucas shook his head again. “If I had done more….”

“What-if games will never get you anywhere.”

“Nic.”

“I can’t change what happened to you. If I could, I would.

I would do anything to spare you the pain you suffered.”

Slowly, Lucas turned and looked at him. “I shouldn’t

throw all of this at you.”

“I love you, Luc. And I’m here. If you need to talk, I’ll

listen.”

“Will you just…just be here, Nic? I have no right to ask,

but I need you.”

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Stepping closer, he pulled Lucas into his arms, holding

him, grateful that Lucas was allowing him this close and

even more grateful that Lucas seemed willing to lean on him.

“You can ask me for anything, Luc, and I will give it to

you, because I love you, and being here for you means more

to me than you will ever know.”

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THE next morning, Lucas assured Nicholas he would be fine

while Nicholas went to his office and Lucas went downstairs to the bookstore.

He trusted Sasha completely to run the place, but he had

some accounting work to handle and some ordering that

needed to be done. And he needed the distraction. He felt on edge, knowing just how close Riley had come to seriously

hurting Nicholas. He had no doubt the man was still out

there, waiting for a chance to come after him and finish what he had started ten years ago.

Nicholas felt confident in the security measures he had

in place and Lucas trusted him, but he had a bad feeling,

one he couldn’t shake.

In the end, he knew it would come down to him and

Riley and maybe it was best that way.

As long as no one else gets hurt, I don’t care what

happens to me
.

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He knew, of course, that if something happened to him,

Nicholas wouldn’t handle it well. For all his attempts to

ignore it and push Nicholas away, Lucas couldn’t deny that

the other man truly loved him and Lucas loved him just as

much in return. He had for a long time now and he couldn’t

go on pretending otherwise.

Which left him facing his greatest fear.

Allowing Nicholas to see him.

He still wasn’t certain he could; the idea still terrified

him, despite Nicholas’s reassurance that he didn’t care

about the scars.

Nicholas seemed to believe his feelings wouldn’t change,

but Lucas wasn’t so sure.

Lost in his thoughts, he had forgotten the task at hand—

reviewing the inventory—until Sasha leaned over the

counter, glancing at what he had accomplished.

Today, she had her orange hair, now highlighted with

red, pulled into pigtails, and her green-and-blue leopard-

print dress tightly hugged her figure.

Anyone else would look ridiculous, but Sasha had a flair

all her own.

“Looks like you’re getting a lot done there, Boss.”

“I’m taking my time, to avoid mistakes.”

She rolled her brown eyes. “Please. You were doing that

broody thing.”

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“Broody thing? I don’t brood.”

“Please. You totally brood.” She grinned. “I bet I know

what you’re being broody about.”

“And what might that be?” he asked, despite knowing

just what she would say.

“Sheriff Tall, Dark, and Handsome.”

Despite himself, Lucas laughed. “I’m sure Nicholas would

love to know you call him that.”

“He doesn’t need me to. He has to know he’s hot. I mean,

you know he’s hot, right?”

“Sasha….”

“I know. I know. You don’t share the good stuff, which

sucks.” She leaned closer. “Just tell me if it’s good. It is, right? I mean, how can it not be!”

“Nic and I are….”

“If you say the two of you are just friends, I swear I will scream so loud the windows shatter.”

Shaking his head, Lucas sighed. “Saying that Nic and I

are just friends is…well, I know he and I are a lot more than that.”

Sasha clapped her hands. “Yes! Finally. Welcome back

from the World of Denial.”

“It’s still a complicated situation, Sasha.”

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“Lucas, it can’t be that complicated. I mean, you are

crazy for him and he’s crazy for you.”

“And you know I have some…issues.” She didn’t know

everything, but she knew enough.

“Can I be honest with you?”

Lucas raised an eyebrow, setting his inventory list aside.

“When have you ever been anything but painfully, brutally

honest?”

“Don’t be a smartass. I’m serious.”

“In that case, by all means, please be honest.”

“You said you have issues and, you know, I’m sure you

do, because we all have issues and yeah, some are a lot more complicated than others, but at the end of the day, everyone has something in their past that isn’t pleasant.”

“Sasha….”

“The thing is, you can go on living in the past, never

letting yourself heal and move on, or you can accept what

happened, painful as that might be, and then realize that

you have a life here and now and you have something

wonderful right in front of you.” She slapped a hand on the counter. “Not to get all cliché-sounding on you, but you have to take some risks in life or one day, you’re gonna realize that you stayed on the sidelines and watched everyone else

do the living. And what’s the fun in that?”

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“What if you’re trying to avoid getting your heart

broken?”

“That’s just it, Boss. At some point, we all get our hearts broken. Any time you put your heart on the line, there’s a

chance it could get kicked around, but I don’t think you have to worry about that, when it comes to you and Nicholas.”

“You can’t….”

“Know that? I can’t predict the future. No one can. But I

know something and I think you know it too, but here goes:

Nicholas loves you and you love him and you need to take a

risk on that, because I’m pretty sure it will be worth it.”

She pushed away from the counter. “Of course, it’s up to

you. I mean, you can push him away and maybe even offer

up a good reason for doing it, but I’ve got to tell you, if you do, you’re a fool.”

“Think so?”

“I think so. And you know it. So get your head out of

your ass and get Nicholas in it.”

“Crude, Sasha.” Lucas laughed and she shrugged.

“It comes natural.” She turned to go back to stocking

shelves. “By the way, there’s a kick-ass copy of the
Kama
Sutra
in the adult section.”

Shaking his head, he ignored her laughter as she went

back to work and he looked down at the inventory list, fairly certain he wouldn’t be getting much done today. He had too

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much on his mind and Sasha had given him even more to

think about. For all her unique style and unique way of

expressing herself, she was right and Lucas knew it.

She hadn’t come right out and called him a coward, but

Lucas knew he was acting like one and that wasn’t fair to

him and it certainly wasn’t fair to Nicholas.

So what are you gonna do about it?

There was only one obvious answer and that was to face

his fear and get over it.

“Hey, Sasha, can you handle things here?”

“Of course.” She flashed a smile over her shoulder. “You

want that book I mentioned?”

“Thanks, but I already have a copy upstairs.”

“Way to go, Boss!”

HE found an old radio in the cabin and, tuning it to the local station, he heard his name mentioned as part of a statewide manhunt.

“…considered armed and dangerous, Miller is not to be

approached. If you see him, please call the proper authorities.

Miller has a history of violence and unstable behavior….”