Love Realized (9 page)

Jake was glad he was holding on to Gillian because if he didn’t have the reminder that she needed his support, he, too, would’ve marched right over to Logan and laid him out like Allie wanted to do. How the hell does a man do something like that and then come home to his wife? No matter how many different ways Jake thought about something like that, he could never come up with an answer. The truth of the matter was that it would never be something Jake would understand, because it simply wasn’t something he would do or tolerate. A promise is a promise, and if a man doesn’t stand by his word, he really doesn’t have much to offer.

Jake was still staring in the direction of Logan and Jason when he felt Gillian’s hands on his chest. “Jake … please, calm down,” she said and then slowly started moving her hands in a circular motion, drawing his attention to her. Jake looked down at her as he tried to rein in his temper. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before reopening them and focusing on Gillian.

With his jaw still clenched and teeth grinding against each other, he said. “Gillian, are you saying that your husband is cheating on you with the woman that just left this party with her own husband?” He saw a look of shame cross her face just before she nodded and looked down at her hands, which still rested on his chest. Jake placed his hand under her chin to tilt her head up to look at him, but her eyes continued to evade his. He made sure he softened his tone before speaking to her. “Gillian, please look at me.” She slowly brought her eyes up to meet his, and he felt a tightening in his chest at what he saw there. Her eyes were overflowing with tears, and she looked so tired, so sad, and so ashamed. Not embarrassed, but ashamed. That really didn’t help his temper at all, that’s for sure.
What the hell did she have to feel ashamed about? What did Logan say to make her feel that way?

Once again making sure his voice was soft and not showing the exceeding level of hostility that was brewing within, he said, “Gilly, you know you have nothing to be ashamed of, right? You didn’t do anything wrong here.” She again averted her eyes from him, confirming that she did, in fact, feel shame.
God, that guy needs a good ass kicking!

Jake’s need to comfort her maxed out at that moment. He couldn’t stand it any longer so he pulled her into his arms and held her firmly against his chest. “I am so sorry, Gilly. So sorry that this happened to you,” he crooned to her while rubbing her back. Then he felt her relax against him. Support—that’s what she needs right now; she needed his support. Jake looked up to see Allie watching them with glossy eyes and one pissed off expression. “Let’s get her out of here. The kids are all gone so it really doesn’t matter whether she stays or not. You take her to the car, and I’ll take care of Logan. I will text you in a bit to find out where you girls will be.” Allie just nodded at him. He knew that Allie was just as pissed as him, but also conceded the fact that Gillian needed them now. Placing his hands on Gillian’s shoulders, he gently moved her away from his chest and immediately noticed the absence of her warmth. Why did that bother him?
Focus.
Rubbing her shoulders and upper arms in a gesture meant to be nurturing, he looked her in the eyes and said, “Go with Allie. I’ll catch up with you two later.” He felt her tense up, and he needed to reassure her more. “Don’t worry, I won’t beat his ass for being a giant prick. I know you don’t want a scene, so I'm not going to cause one. But I, too, reserve the right to do so later.” He gave her a pointed look, and a slight smile came across her sad face.

It struck him that even with watery green eyes and tear streaks down her cheeks she was a beautiful sight. But he really wanted to put a happy smile on her face. Just then, she placed her hands on his shoulders, and using them as support, she rose up on her toes and placed a kiss on his cheek. He could feel the wetness from her tears as she pulled back and attempted another weak smile at him. She must have noticed the wetness on his cheek because a small giggle escaped as she reached up and wiped it away. “Sorry. I bet you’re really hoping those were tears and not snot, aren’t you?” He smiled down at her.
There’s my girl.

“Well, I didn’t think about that until you brought it up.” He reached up and swiped his hand across his cheek even though she had already wiped it clean. “But now that’s all I can think about. Gross, Gillian, thanks a lot.” Her smile grew bigger.

“Thanks, Jake.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead, and as he pulled back said, “I really had to fight the urge to lick you as payback.” She giggled, and his anger at the situation decreased because as long as he could get her to smile, things weren’t as bad as they seemed.

“Go with Allie. I’ll see you soon.” She nodded, and he moved them toward the back door of the house. Allie gave him a look over her shoulder, and he nodded, understanding the unspoken information. She was clearly furious at her brother, and he could tell she barely had a grip on her feelings about that. It took a lot for Allie to hold things back; she was always very vocal and didn’t take any crap from anyone. There was really only one subject that she was tight-lipped about and that was her late husband, Marc. Just the fact that she was controlling herself showed how much Gillian meant to her.

Once the ladies had disappeared into the house, Jake turned to where Logan and Jason had been standing. When he made eye contact with Logan, he saw the recognition dawn on his face. He wasn’t sure if it was the realization that Jake knew what was going on or if Logan just realized that his wife was gone.
That’s right, jackass, she’s gone AND I know
. Jake crossed his arms over his chest and raised his eyebrows up at Logan, basically goading him, but who cares. If he got a punch in at Logan in defense, that would be fine, too. And with that thought, Logan was up and heading toward the back door of the house, Jason hot on his heels. Too bad Jake was between him and the house. Keeping up his stance, effectively blocking Logan, Jake decided that yes, he wanted to fuck with him.

“Hey man, you going somewhere?” he asked as he moved to prevent Logan from going around him.

“Out of my way, Jake. I need to get inside
my
house … to talk to
my
wife.” Logan’s emphasis on the word ‘my’ in his statement didn’t escape Jake’s notice. Well, if he really wanted to point out things that were
his
, Jake would just have to help him with that.

“Well, YOUR wife is not inside YOUR house.” Of course, Jake’s emphasis on the word ‘your’ didn’t escape Logan’s attention either. He paused in his attempts to get past Jake and stared at him, confusion and irritation very evident on his face.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Logan asked through clenched teeth.

Jake got directly in Logan’s face and growled back at him. “What I mean is that YOUR wife left YOUR house shortly after YOUR mistress left YOUR son’s birthday party!” Jake stayed in his face, begging him to do something about it. Logan just glared back at him, so Jake continued, “Oh, and she probably left here in YOUR car with YOUR sister. Yep, I think that about covers it.” And with that, Jake relaxed back in his stance, put some distance between them, and waited for Logan to respond. Jake once again raised his eyebrows in question at Logan, daring him to continue the conversation.

The distant sounds of mumbling and a chair being roughly slid across the patio surface caught Jake’s attention. He leaned to the side to look behind Logan. Then Logan was in motion. He shoved Jake aside so he could get through the door and started to run toward the front of the house after Gillian. As Jake tried to right himself, he noticed that Jason looked to be scuffling around with Sean.
Oh shit! Sean must have heard what I said to Logan. Way to broadcast it to everyone, you moron.
He hadn’t paid attention to who was still in the backyard because his only concern had been for Gillian to get out of there, and then, of course, to provoke Logan. Now there was one pissed off looking big brother. Well, join the club, man. Jason was barely holding him back, especially since Logan had made it into the house.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Gillian and Allie had just made it out the front door when she heard Logan calling for her. “Gillian! Stop, Gillian, stop!”
Shit … I knew I shouldn’t have gone back for my damn cell phone
. Allie grabbed her arm and propelled her forward even faster.

“You better move it girl unless you want this to go down right here, right now!” Gillian could feel her heart pounding against her ribcage as her adrenaline levels spiked. She didn’t want to deal with Logan now. She wasn’t afraid of Logan—she knew he would never hurt her, physically that is. But she was afraid that if she listened to him ‘plead his case’ she would forgive him just as she had before. And look where that got her. If there was one thing she knew about her husband, it was that when he was determined, and he wanted something, very little held him back. The man could sell ice to a freaking Eskimo he was so damn persuasive! It was a handy trait to have when what he wanted was mutually beneficial, but otherwise, not so much.

You’re avoiding him based on the assumption that he even wants you still. Maybe he wants to tell you that he picks her.
It may be a damn good point, but very mean, nonetheless, and it brought a deep ache to her chest. This wasn’t cool at all considering her chest wall was already taking a beating from the inside.

“Gillian! Please stop!” He was out the front door now. Damn, this was going to happen, wasn’t it … well, I guess it was best to get it over with. She had just finished her thought when she felt her husband’s hand wrap firmly around her upper arm, halting her determined stride. He used her arm to turn her around and then wrapped his other arm firmly around her body and pulled her against him. Her hands remained at her side as Logan pressed his entire body against hers and buried his face in her neck and hair, while both of his arms held her tightly to him. She wasn’t going anywhere … yet.

“Baby, please don’t leave. Please … we need to talk. You can’t leave, baby.” His voice was soft and thick with emotion as he begged her to stay. God, how she loved to be held by him, it was her weakness. She knew it. He knew it. Even though he was the cause of her pain right now, his arms around her offered comfort.
You are bat-shit-crazy girl … do you know that?

“Come back inside. We need to talk and fix this. I can’t let you leave.” Logan pulled his face from her neck and looked down at her as he smoothed her hair away from her face. Gently stroking her cheeks and wiping away the tears that she hadn’t realized were streaming down her face, he wrapped his arm back around her, securing her against him once again. “Give me a chance to explain myself,” he pleaded as he bent down and pressed a kiss against her lips and then pulled back to see her response. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. She felt physically numb—paralyzed.

“Let her go, Logan! She wants to get out of here. You are just gonna have to sit and stew over it,” Allie yelled at her brother. This just made him hold on to Gillian tighter.

“Back off, Allie. She’s my wife, and I'm not just going to let her walk away from me without letting me explain!” he barked back at her. “I deserve the right to explain myself.”

He deserves? He thinks he deserves something? Why that arrogant bastard!
That snapped her out of her inability to speak. How dare him! How he could think he was entitled to anything at all was beyond her comprehension. “You deserve?” she managed to croak at him, and he turned his attention from Allie back to her. She looked up into his eyes and said, “You think you deserve something from me?” Her voice sounded a little stronger that time, which was clearly the result of the anger that was beginning to boil up in her veins. Logan was about to speak when she interrupted him. “What exactly is it that you think you deserve from me Logan?” She was able to achieve full volume and yell at him this time.

The adrenaline that had been slowly rising in her system before was now flowing full force as she struggled to get her arms free from the grip he had around her. He loosened his hold on her, and she moved her arms, effectively pushing him off of her. She knew that she was only able to do that because he allowed it, but she needed the space. Distance was a must if she was going to stay strong.

“Answer me!” she demanded of him. “Tell me, what exactly it is that you think you deserve from me Logan Baxter? What more could I possibly give you that you haven’t already been given?” He attempted to close the gap between them and take her in his arms again, but she halted him with a hand on his chest. “NO! You don’t get to touch me!” She felt a small amount of relief when she saw his shoulders sag before he spoke, “Baby, please, let’s go inside and talk about this. I know you must be in shock, and I understand that, but we can work this out.”
He understands? Seriously, he thinks he knows what all this shit feels like?
Once again she felt a spike in her anger and adrenaline level. That whole fight-or-flight thing was really gonna kick her butt when she finally tried to calm herself down.

“How could you possibly understand this, Logan?” she growled at him. “How could you know what this feels like?” She continued to yell at him, completely unaware of the people that had made their way into the front yard. “You know what it feels like to stand face-to-face with your husband’s mistress and her family … in your own backyard … at your son’s birthday party?” It certainly wasn’t a question because, of course, he had no idea what that felt like. Her voice picked up in volume as she continued, “You know what it feels like to find out that not only is your husband cheating on you, but probably has been for the past year, when he swore that he was not?” Logan just stood there silently as she continued her chastising. “You know what it feels like to find out that you are not the only woman in your husband’s life?”