Love Me Again (11 page)

Nick gently chided, “You had better tread carefully. If Abby finds out you went behind her back, she will be livid.”

“I feel I must take that chance. Ab
by’s happiness means so much to me.” 

****

Abby heard a soft knock on her door while feeding Daniel. “Abby, it’s me.” Not waiting for Abby to invite her, Judith opened the door and entered. The moment Abby saw Judith’s face she knew something was troubling her. After Daniel’s birth Judith moved back to her plantation to keep people from gossiping. Two to three times a week she spent the night with Taylor, leaving early before anyone was up and about. “What is it, Judith?”

Judith plopped down in the chair by Abby’s bed. She touched the top of Daniel’s head feeling his soft curls. A tear escaped down her cheek. “I’m going to have a baby.”

Abby screamed with delight. “That’s wonderful, Judith!” By her demeanor, she wasn’t too thrilled. “Judith, you are not barren. You are going to have a baby.” When she still didn’t get a response from Judith, she snapped, “What did you think was going to happen? You and Uncle Taylor are like a pair of weasels going at it all the time. Sometimes I hear you moaning through the walls and you are three bedrooms down.” Her eyes drifted over Judith as she asked, “How does Uncle Taylor feel about your condition?”

Ill at ease with the topic, Judith lowered her eyes. “I have not told him. Taylor does not want to get married. He likes our relationship just the way it is now. A baby will complicate things.”

Abby smiled warmly and touched Judith’s lovely cheek. “You are being ridiculous. Uncle Taylor is in love with you. Do you not see the way he looks at you? He tells you he does not want to get married because he knows that is the way you feel. He is being proud.”

Judith sighed, “What if you are wrong?”

“Judith, I am not wrong. Tell him you are going to have his baby. He will want to marry you. You two are perfect for each other.”

“What if he changes the way he treats me after we are married.” Judith looked genuinely worried as she continued, “My first husband was swee
t and kind until we said ‘I do,’ and then the jealousy and controlling started. I can not tolerate being smothered by an overbearing husband.”

Abby shook her head in the negative. “If Uncle Taylor was controlling, he would not let me by with so much. Don’t forget, he insisted I start socializing and I still have not left the house. He is a wonderful man. Your fears are ludicrous.” 

“I hope you are right.”

A week later Taylor and Judith were married. They decided on a simple ceremony with only a few friends in attendance. Discomfort replaced her excitement for her uncle and Judith when she walked into the room only to discover people pointing and whispering. No one knew who she was because she never left the plantation. If Taylor entertained, she remained in her room with Daniel. The only people who knew her were the slaves and Judith
. They had never mentioned her to anyone because of her predicament.     

The low bodice of the pink dress her Uncle Taylor gave her for Christm
as revealed too much of her ample breasts. All the men stared at her boldly causing Abby to squeeze the bouquet of flowers she held too tightly. At the moment, she wished Taylor and Judith would have had a more private wedding. She took her place next to the preacher by the huge fireplace, and watched as Taylor and Judith entered the room arm and arm. A gorgeous couple, both with blond hair and striking features, Abby felt they were meant for each other. Judith’s light blue dress brought out the blue in her eyes. Even though Taylor was fifteen years her senior, he had aged well and was in his prime. Maybe Judith had reservations about marrying Taylor, but she felt deep in her heart they would be happy together.

After the ceremony, a small reception was held in the parlor. Several young men buzzed around Abby and she felt awkward, not accustomed to such bold attention.

One fresh faced young man asked as he hovered over her, “Why have we not seen you at any of the social events in Durham?”

Her senses were beginning to reel as the young men pressed in, all curious to hear her explanation. She tried to keep her tone mild. “I’m not a social butterfly. I enjoy long walks, reading, riding my horse, Sugar. I guess you could call me a homebody.”

Abby thought of Daniel upstairs with Lizzy. She would not be able to keep him a secret for long. It would be wonderful to bring him downstairs and show him off. Guilt kept her from enjoying the attention of the young men.  

As if Judith could read her mind, she rescued Abby. “Will you gentlemen please excuse us?  I need to borrow Abby.” Tucking her arm into Abby’s, Judith maneuvered her around the guests, a fake smile plastered on her face.

The moment they were out of hearing distance, she replied sadly, “You look miserable, Abby. You are going to have to become accustomed to talking to young men. I know you don’t want to be a spinster the rest of your life. Don’t you want a father for Daniel?”

“I don’t know how to talk to men, Judith. Father arranged everything with Andrew. The only man I have ever talked to that wasn’t family was Cord, and look what that got me.” She lifted her chin and blinked away the tears.

“Stop beating yourself up for having a child out of wedlock. You are gorgeous, compassionate, and sweet. Someone will want you and Daniel. Maybe that person is here tonight. But you have to give them a chance. It would not hurt to talk to the young men and pretend you enjoy their company,” Judith said in exasperation. “Many of them would make you a suitable husband.”

“But I don’t enjoy their company.” Abby pulled away from Judith. “I’m going to check on Daniel. I’ll be right back.” Abby hurried to her room. She relieved Lizzy of her babysitting duties and held Daniel close. Dark curls and blue eyes so much like his father’s, caused her heart to ache. How could she trust any man to accept Daniel as his son? What would Cord do if he ever found out she had kept his son from him? She shuddered at the thought of him finding out about her deception.

Hearing her bedroom door open, Abby gazed up to find Uncle Taylor standing in the doorway with a serious look on his face. “Can we talk?”

“You have guests, Uncle Taylor. Please stop worrying about me. I’m fine,” Abby said, but she didn’t make eye contact. Instead she watched her son suck on his fat, baby fist.

“It is February, Abby. It is time for you to start socializing. Daniel is two months old and it is time to find him a father.” By his demeanor he was losing his patience with her. “You can’t go on living with memories.”

Her voice full of sorrow, Abby whispered, “I’m sorry, Uncle Taylor I’m not ready.”

“Abby you need to admit you are in love with Cord. I think we should notify him about Daniel, and see if you two can work out your problems.”

Abby laid Daniel in the middle of the bed. She took Taylor’s hands and held them to her cheek. “There is no reason to talk about something that can’t be changed and can’t be resolved. He does not return the sentiment.”

“I don’t believe that for one minute. How could he not love you, Abby? You are beautiful, sweet, devoted, and you are the mother of his child. At least let me arrange a meeting for the two of you to sit down together and discuss the situation.”

“I know you mean well, Uncle Taylor, but I don’t trust him.” Abby’s stomach ached deep inside when the memory of Cord in bed with the whore surfaced. No, she could never trust him. 

“I don’t understand, Abby. Your mother was so sweet and gentle. You are stubborn as a mule and quite difficult to deal with.” Uncle Taylor stuffed his hands in his pockets, and stared at the toes of his shiny black shoes.

Her arms encircled Taylor as she replied softly, “Go back to your guests. It is your wedding day. I am content, Uncle Taylor. I don’t require a husband to be happy.”

With a deep sigh, Taylor huffed, “Have it your way, Abby.” He kissed her cheek and disappeared through the door. Abby plopped onto the bed, scooped Daniel into her arms, and peered into his precious face. “I don’t need anyone but you.” The moment the words left her mouth, she knew differently. All the fantasies returned of having a life with Cord.

****

Things changed after Taylor and Judith married. Before they married, Abby heard them making love two or three times a week. Now she heard them almost every night. They giggled and acted like star struck teenagers at breakfast and supper. Abby would catch them on the stairs or on the sofa in the parlor kissing passionately. She adored them both, but felt like a third wheel. 

Sitting on the bed feeding Daniel as she did every night before she put him to bed, Abby heard Judith moaning in ecstasy. “They’re going at it hot and heavy tonight, Daniel.” He released his hold on her nipple and gave her a huge smile. Abby stroked her fingers through his dark curls and he went back to suckling, as his chubby fingers rubbed her cheek. 

Maybe she should take Uncle Taylor’s advice and try to find a suitable husband. It would be wonderful to fall in love and have a husband and home she could call her own. Hope of her father asking her to come back home dwindled as the months passed. If only he would forgive her and let her return home with Daniel. She missed Nick and wanted him to be a part of Daniel’s life. Apparently, that wasn’t going to happen. 

Abby bent and kissed Daniel on his fat cheek. She rubbed her cheek against his and whispered, “I don’t know what to do, Daniel. Your happiness means more to me than anything else in the world.” Then Abby thought about Cord. Where was he and was he safe? In spite of everything he had done to her, she still loved him.     

****

Already eating breakfast when Taylor and Judith arrived downstairs, Abby inquired, “Did you two sleep well?”

Taylor blushed, “Yes, we slept very well.”

Abby thought they were probably exhausted after all the activity coming from their room last night. It amazed her how Judith’s condition had not zapped her of some of her energy. She found it hard to believe she was even expecting a child. Her stomach was still flat, and she had not once had any morning sickness. 

“Uncle Taylor, I have changed my mind and have decided to go to the Lewis’ party tomorrow night. Will you and Aunt Judith please escort me?”     

Surprise showed on Taylor’s face. “Of course, Abby. We will be delighted. I will be able to show off both my beautiful ladies.” Laying his napkin in his lap, Taylor looked at her curiously and asked, “Why the change of heart?”

Abby smiled sweetly. “After seeing you two so happy, I decided there was a chance for me. One can only hope it is as Aunt Judith said. I will find someone that will love me and Daniel.” For Daniel’s sake, Abby knew she needed to move ahead. Pining over Cord only caused her misery. The hole in her heart seemed to get bigger every day.     

****

Abby began to fidget she was so nervous. “Sit still, Abby. Just a few more pins and your coiffure will be complete.” Judith tried to arrange her hair so she would look sophisticated and not so tempestuous. Stepping back, Judith looked at the results. “It doesn’t matter how I style your hair, you still look wild. I guess it is the color and the fact you have so much of it.”

Abby peered into the mirror, tilting her head sideways. “I love it, Judith.  I think I look sophisticated.” 

Judith laughed, “You are so sweet, Abby. Now remember, try to act like you are having fun. Smile a lot and ask the young men questions. They love to talk about themselves.” With a long slender finger, Judith pressed a lock of hair behind Abby’s ear. “And when you dance, do not look at your feet. Look them in the eyes, but not too boldly.”

Just the thought of dancing with strange men caused her to worry. Never had her father allowed her to dance, always considering it a sin. Judith and Taylor worked with her all day, and thankfully she was a quick study. She should be able to get through several of the dances without stomping on her partner’s feet.

Abby groaned. “Judith, you are acting like a mother hen. Stop worrying so.”

“I know I am not much older than you, but at times I feel like your mother. You are so special to me.”

“I love you, Judith. You have been my friend when I really needed one. Without your support, I would never have found the courage to leave the house.”

Judith pulled the towel from around Abby’s neck, and stood back to see her handy work. “Stand up and lets get a look at you.” A tear ran down Judith’s cheek. “You are beautiful, Abby. We’ll have to beat the men off with a stick.”

“I can tell you’re expecting, Judith. You are getting mushy.” Abby wiped the tear away from Judith’s cheek. “Don’t cry, you are going to spoil your looks. You don’t want your face to be all puffy.” Pulling Judith close, Abby gave her a warm hug.

“I’ll go slip into my dress and meet you downstairs.” Abby waited until Judith left, and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Even she had to admit she looked stunning in the royal blue dress. She pulled at the bodice feeling it revealed too much décolletage. Because of breast feeding Daniel, her bosoms were huge. She was not accustomed to showing so much skin. If her father saw the way she was dressed, she knew what he would say. He would tell her she looked like a harlot. It seemed every time she thought of her father lately, it was in a negative way. He had hurt h
er deeply with his unkind words, words that she would never forget as long as she lived.