Love Me Again (8 page)

Andrew hesitated as if considering calling off the wedding. “I still want you. There is not another who can hold a candle to your beauty or disposition. I can forgive you of your transgressions.”

Abby wondered why she was not relieved Andrew still wanted to marry her. She received no pleasure at the thought of being his wife. Regardless, she had no other alternative and would do as her father wished and marry Andrew. “Only if you promise to never mention my sins, will I marry you. We will pretend they never happened.”

Eyes snapping with anger, he replied vehemently, “You have some nerve making demands on me. If the neighbors learn of your behavior, there will be a terrible scandal. I will not be too thrilled if gossip gets out my intended could not keep her legs closed.”

Abby tensed when she heard the anger in his voice. “Fine, Andrew. There will be no marriage. I will not marry you knowing you feel this way.” 

Abruptly, she stood to leave only to find her way barricaded by Andrew. His hand dug into her arm causing her to cry out in pain. “We will be married. I said I still want you. If you do not comply, I will spread the rumor you are no longer a virgin. See if you can find a husband when everyone knows you slept with a man you hardly knew. A man reputed to be a gunslinger, a man that toyed with you and left you when he tired of you. Can you live with yourself knowing the gossip will harm your father and brother?” Andrew pressed his lips to Abby’s and kissed her roughly. Leaning back, he peered into her eyes. “Maybe he taught you a thing or two about pleasing a man.” 

She had to fight the urge to wipe her mouth with the back of her hand. If she did not enjoy Andrew’s kisses, how was she going to feel when they consummated their marriage? As she watched him climb into his buggy and ride away, her thoughts were bleak. How could she marry Andrew knowing he had these hostile feelings? Maybe she should consider being a spinster. After loving a man like Cord, Andrew seemed so inadequate. Life with her father would be better than being with a man she could not tolerate.  

Chapter Seven

Two months had passed since Abby’s confrontation with Andrew. He had courted her several times, and seemed to be over his hostility. At least he had not mentioned Cord or the fact she was no longer chaste. Their wedding was only a month away and her hands trembled every time she sewed on her wedding dress. She hated the idea of getting married in the church and in white, but Andrew insisted. After her wanton behavior, she should not even get married in the church, let alone in a flowing white gown that she had come to hate. He didn’t want anyone to suspect she was no longer a virgin, and planned on inviting everyone in Tarboro to the wedding. The whole charade didn’t sit well with her.  

Nick sat down beside Abby on the sofa as she worked the tiny pearls into her dress. “You will make a beautiful bride, Sissy.” 

It had been so long since he had called her Sissy. She smiled warmly, “Thank you, Nick. I’m going to try it on so you can tell me if I need to take it in at the waist.”

Moments later Abby returned wearing the gown. “I don’t understand. It fit perfectly two weeks ago when I tried it on. I guess I’m putting on weight, which is really strange when I haven’t had much of an appetite.” She ran her hands around her midsection. “I guess I’ll have to let it out.”

Complete silence filled the room until Nick stood and crossed the room. She heard the disappointment in his voice when he asked, “Have you had your curse, Abby?”

She wrapped her arms around her stomach. She wouldn’t admit to herself she was with child, she had no intention of admitting it to anyone else. Running from the room, Abby ripped the despised gown from her body, threw it across the room, and fell onto the bed.

Not bothering to knock, Nick entered and plopped down on the edge of the bed. Wearing only her chemise and underwear, Abby didn’t attempt to cover herself. She was too depressed to care anymore.

Nick pushed the hair out of her face. “Denying you’re with child, will not make it go away, Abby. We have to talk about it. Whether you like it or not, you have to make some decisions.”

Of course he was right. She stopped crying and sat up. With a trembling hand, she rubbed her eyes and sniffed loudly. A lot of guilt came with the realization she would only cause more shame to her family. Abby spoke her thought aloud. “Father will kill me.”

Nick handed her the quilt folded at the foot of the bed to cover herself. “Don’t panic. Surely, there is a way out of this dilemma.

Abby covered her face with her hands and the tears started afresh. “What am I going to do?”

“Let’s consider all our options.” Immediately, Abby stopped crying. Even though she got herself into this predicament, Nick would help her. He would not shun her.

“You can tell Andrew and see if he still wants to marry you. The last option is we can notify Cord’s brother of your condition and see if he can locate Cord.”

Problem was she did not like either of those options. It was out of the question marrying Andrew. She would be afraid he would mistreat her baby. For some reason, she felt Cord would not marry her. She even felt there was a possibility he may take her baby from her. She doubted Cord would want his child raised on a small farm, especially knowing her father would have a hand in raising his child. “Is there another option?”

Nick cupped his hand to Abby’s face. “I’ll stand by you no matter what you decide. You can have your baby without the benefit of a husband.”

“But how will people treat my baby? Will anyone besides me love my baby?”

“It does not matter how other people will react, Abby.  I will love your baby.”

Abby squeezed her eyes shut while she pondered her options. The only one she could picture in her mind was raising her baby here on their farm. “What do you think father will do when I tell him?”

“He will have to accept your decision. We will tell him together.” Some of the tension in her body relaxed when Nick squeezed her hands. Just feeling his strength gave her a sliver of hope that maybe everything would work out.

Abby wished she could have fallen in love with a man like Nick. “Whoever marries you will have the perfect husband, Nick. Why did I have to give my heart to a man like Cord?”

“Stop blaming yourself for being human, Abby. You fell in love with the wrong man. Life will continue. It is not the end of the world.”

****

Supper was a stressful ordeal. Abby chewed her bottom lip as she pushed her food around on her plate, too nervous to eat. Fearing how her father would react to the news of her being with child, she procrastinated. Every time she glanced at Nick, his lip twitched as if telling her to get it over with. At last Abby knew she had to get to the inevitable. She laid her fork on the table and clutched her hands together in her lap. Her stomach was in her throat as she whispered, “Father, I’m going to have a baby.”

The displeasure showed on his face. In a deadly calm voice, her father scolded, “God is punishing you for your sins. You will not be able to show your face in public again.”

Nick shouted, “Shut up, Father. How many times must I remind you she feels terrible about what happened? Have some compassion for once. She is your daughter.”

“She is no daughter of mine.” Her father pushed away from the table and stormed out the door. 

The moment the door slammed, Nick looked at Abby. Her bottom lip trembled and then hot tears flowed over her cheeks. He reacted just like she imagined he would. Misery took over as she wondered what happened to the loving man he had once been when her mother was alive. Since her death, he seemed to despise everything about her. Now when she needed the support of her father most, he turned his back on her.

Nick helped her to bed and she lay down without protesting. Embracing her, Nick whispered softly, “Give him time to calm down, Abby. Once it sinks into his thick head this is his grandchild you are carrying, he’ll change his mind.”

Abby knew better.  Her baby would never be welcome under the same roof with her father. Abby got a misty image of her father calling her baby bastard. A ripple of unease surfaced at the pain and humiliation her child would endure at the hands of her father.

****

The next morning Abby was too depressed to get out of bed. Nick tried to coax her into facing her day, if for no other reason than the health of her baby, but nothing he said made a difference. Giving up, Nick left her alone to wallow in her self pity. 

Not bothering to knock, her father entered her room. Abby glared at him with hatred. He had said terrible things, things she would never forget as long as she lived.

In a stern voice, he replied, “I have given it a lot of thought. I doubt Andrew will want to marry you because of the child you carry. Not many men would raise another man’s bastard.”

Abby’s back stiffened when he called her unborn child a bastard. She didn’t understand how he could be so mean. “After you have this baby, we will find it a good Christian home; a place with two loving, God fearing parents. By the grace of God, if Andrew still wants you, you can marry him.”

Abby looked at her father as if he was crazy. Stubbornly, she snapped, “I will not give my baby away. Nothing on this earth could make me give it up. I am keeping it. There is nothing-.”

Jacob sneered, cutting her off, “Not under this roof. I am your father and this is my home. If you want to stay here, you will do as I say.” Cold hard eyes stared at her as if daring her to argue. 

Panic began to take over. “Father, please reconsider. This is your grandchild. Surely, you do not want it to be raised by strangers.”

He loomed over Abby pointing his finger in her face. “Your child was conceived through sin. You have brought enough sin into this house lying wit
h a man you were not married to. I will not allow you to bring God’s wrath down upon us. ” 

There was such deep sorrow in Abby’s deep blue eyes. She wanted to rant and rave but knew it was useless. Her father made the rules and would not back down on his decision. She snapped her mouth shut and waited for him to leave. After he disappeared through the door, Abby bounded out of bed and got dressed. 

Frantic with worry, Abby raced to the barn. “Nick!”

From the loft, Nick peered down at her with a pitchfork in his hand. “What is it, Abby? Has something happened?”

By the time Nick climbed down the ladder and stood face to face with Abby, tears were streaming down her face. “Father is demanding I give my baby away when it is born. I will not.”

Concern in his voice, his arms encircled her. “I’ll talk to him. I’ll make him realize how cold hearted he is behaving. I will stand by you and together we will convince him to let you keep your baby.”

Abby dried her tears and sniffed loudly. “Where is he?”

She felt him stiffen and knew she was not going to like what he had to say. “He has gone to speak to Andrew.”

Abby let out a deep breath as she pushed away from him. “I must leave, Nick. I can’t stay here. If he forces me to marry Andrew, all will be lost. Andrew will mistreat my baby. I know he will. You have to help me.”

Nick stared at her as if he could not believe she would leave her home. “Where will you go? Surely you do not want to go to Cord’s brother’s plantation.”

“No, Nick. I would not dream of going there. But I must go somewhere. I can no longer stay here.”

Nick’s brows drew together in concentration. He replie
d, but not with much enthusiasm, “How about Uncle Taylor? 

She thought about their mother’s younger brother, Taylor Johnson. She had never seen him, but he had written letters to her mother often before her death. He still lived in Durham, taking over the family plantation after his parents’ death. “He can’t turn me away now can he? I am family.” For the first time after realizing she was with child, Abby felt like there was a solution to her problem. A plantation would be a great place to hide out until her baby was born.

The worry returned as she wondered where they would get the money for her to travel to Durham. After the crops were harvested and taken to market they would have money. But at the moment they had no funds. “There is only one problem. How are we going to come up with the money for my train ticket?”

Nick’s voice lowered. “Do you remember the day I brought your saddle into the barn?”

“Yes, I remember.”

“Cord’s brother put several hundred dollars into the saddle bags in case you changed your mind and wanted to join him in Raleigh. I didn’t want to upset you further so I hid it. It is more than enough to get both of us to Durham.”

Abby’s face lit up. “You’re coming with me!”

“I can’t very well let you go by yourself. You need an escort. Besides, I need to make sure Uncle Taylor does not turn you away. Together we will convince him to take you in.” Nick pushed her toward the barn door. “
There’s even enough money for Sugar’s fare. Go pack. We need to make it to Tarboro before the train departs.”

Packed and ready to leave the only home she had ever known, Abby touched the daguerreotype of her mother on the mantle. Warm green eyes and a pretty smile stared back at her. She missed her mother so much. If her mother were here, she would know how to comfort her, help her make the right decisions. But then if her mother were still living, her father would not have treated her so horribly. How had her life become so complicated? Everything had been so perfect when her mother was alive. Her father had been happy and their home felt warm and full of love. Now it was full of pain, some of which she caused herself.

“Come on, Abby. We need to get moving.” Abby took Nick’s hand, stiffened her back, and walked out the door.   

****

Abby stood back, a jumble of nerves as Nick knocked on the huge double doors of their Uncle Taylor’s plantation home. It was difficult to believe her mother had once lived in such a beautiful home. White with bright green shutters, it stood two stories high with four heavy columns. The well manicured yard looked impressive with several huge oaks shading it from the sun. A huge statue of an angel stood at the bottom of the steps with her hand extended to welcome visitors. If she were not so anxious, Abby was sure she would have found the scene before her peaceful. Instead her heart hammered loudly in her chest, making it difficult to enjoy anything. 

Wishing someone would answer the door, Abby wiped the sweat from her brow with her arm. It was a hot, sultry day and she was extremely uncomfortable as the June sun beat down on her.   

A thin, colored lady opened the door and looked at them curiously. “May I help you?” Obviously the cook, her pristine white apron had specks of flour clinging to the front. It seemed they had interrupted her duties in the kitchen.

Nick stated kindly, “Will you please tell Mr. Johnson his niece, Abigail, and nephew, Nicholas, are here and request an audience.”

Abby felt it rude to show up unannounced, but it could not be helped. They rushed to board the train, and didn’t have time to send a telegraph before leaving Tarboro. She feared her father convinced Andrew to marry her even though she was carrying Cord’s baby. She was determined to leave Tarboro before he could force her to marry Andrew against her will. The last thing she wanted was to have another huge argument with her father over a man she had no intention of marrying.