Love Lost (Love's Improbable Possibility) (37 page)

I looked at her and she appeared to be anxious and uneasy about my reaction.

“Why the solicitous expression?” I asked although I had a clue already. I was taken by her assessment of me and the way she illustrated appraisal. Her words were kind, nurturing even. I was in awe. But I knew she was nervous about giving me such a nontraditional gift.

“I don’t know…
I guess I really want you to like it. If you don’t I can always exchange it for something else." She exhaled in defeat. "What do you get a man that has it all?”

“You
,” I responded.

It was at that moment that
I saw a change in the shade of brown in Rayna’s hooded eyes. Her shoulders relaxed as did her overall poise. She showed me her bare and vulnerable side. She usually comes across so cool…guarded. She had opened up to me and I wanted her to feel safe doing that.

I rose from the sofa,
bringing her up with me. I took her face in my hands and kissed her softly. She shivered, surprised by my gesture. I went in for another kiss. This time I inserted my tongue. She immediately did the same. She ran her hands down my lower back deepening the kiss. After a little while longer, I pulled my face away from hers and asked, “Where do you want to take this, Brimm?” 

As if on cue, I heard Eric Bene’t s
ing, “
I wanna be loved…
”

She paused and gave me a deep gaze. She then
began unbuttoning my shirt. Once she was done, she slowly pulled it off. At that, I picked her up in the air until she straddled me. I carried her over to the ottoman and gently sat her down. I untied her black silk wrap-around dress to reveal a sexy gold lace underwear set. It blended so well with her caramel skin. Her panties were cheekies…the kind that had her ass cheeks hanging out. I know my panties. Damn, she was hurting me.

I took my hand and ran it from her neck to her pelvic area, taking all of her in. She was sitting up on her elbows watching me admire her torso. I pushed up from my knees and began licking her neck. From there, I went to her cleavage and then worked my way to her belly button. I played around in there before
removing her lace panties. Her feminine aroma sent me into carnal bliss. I looked back into her eyes and gave her another kiss before I started licking her thighs. The more inward I moved, the heavier her breathing became. I was taking my time and enjoying her. Eventually she had to relinquish and lay back so that she could fully experience where I was trying to take her. That’s when I removed my heat from my waist and slid it underneath ottoman.

She moaned as my tongue reached her valley. I slowly tasted every inch of it.

Fuck, she tastes good!

I explored inside her love canal. She moaned and moaned. The more she moaned the harder my rock grew. Her moans became involuntary once I developed a rhythm on her pearl. Rayna caught on to my rhythmic patterns and began gyrating according to them. Within minutes
, she started grabbing and applying pressure to my shoulders. She arched her back and used her arms to catch her balance. All of a sudden her ass was in the air. Her moans turned into screams. Before I knew it, her body started trembling. Her screams were so sexy and arousing. Not too long after, the screams turned into whimpers. Next, she scooted her entire body back a few inches telling me she had climaxed and needed a minute to collect herself.

She eventually sat up and rose to her feet from the ottoman.
Rayna had the most intent look on her face when she grabbed my hand and led me into the bedroom. She walked me over to the bed and started unbuckling my belt before she unzipped my pants. I was ready for whatever she was about to bring. Seconds later, I was down to my boxers. When it came time to pull those off, she paused. After a brief moment she continued by pulling my briefs from the waist until I sprang free. She was a deer caught in headlights staring at my strongman.

I muttered, “He doesn’t bite.
We’ll work around it,” to break her daze. 

She didn’t crack the smile I was going for. Instead
, she moved the pillows on the bed around to create a cushion then motioned for me to sit with my back on them. I did. Before climbing into bed, she unhooked her bra then reached into the nightstand drawer and pulled out a condom. As she unraveled the wrapper, I was afforded a view of the contour of her shape. Rayna was a brick house. She was thick, yet not sloppy. I’ve seen enough naked bodies to know she worked out. Her thighs were toned but not muscular. Her skin was soft yet not loose. Her abdominal muscles were present but not protruding. She was amazing. I was hurting. I needed to be inside of her.

She carefully glided the condom onto me. Her touch was so gentle as she positioned herself onto me cautiously. I heard her groan while she tried to guide me inside of her. As wet as she was, she still had to fit me in. I could tell her walls had been uninhabited for quite some time. Once most of m
e was inside and she began to ride me I relished in her warmth and softness. I had to keep my thoughts in perspective because I wasn’t about to ejaculate too soon. In fact, I’d thought to myself how it was a good thing that I was tipsy because I didn’t want to end this prematurely. But I’d be damned if she didn’t feel like heaven.

She started to speed up once I started grinding with her. I grabbed her breasts and went to massaging them. When I focused in on her
pebbled nipples she reacted by moaning. That’s when I’d discovered her pleasure. I was so damn deep in her that I could feel her womb. Her tight thighs squeezed around me as if she couldn’t get close enough to me. As she wrapped her arms around my neck, I sucked her right nipple into my mouth and softly nibbled on it. She went crazy. The louder she got the faster I licked. She was so creamy below. I grabbed her ass and began to grip and massage it, pulling her onto me even more. Her walls gripped my strongman as she tightened around me. This is when it became obvious that she was having her second orgasm. Her mouth pried open as her body jerked uncontrollably. I kept a fastened grip on her hips to secure her in place as I pummeled into her. She was so fucking beautiful coming all over me.

Once Rayna was done, I pulled her face into mine, kissing her more passionately than I was accustomed to. With her it felt right. I wanted more of her, much more. I lifted her up and
turned her over laying her flat on her back so that I was on top. She lifted her legs high into the air allowing me to go deeper. Her love was so damn good. I was enraptured. Her stamina was off the hook because she kept up with me, stroke after stroke. I wanted to take my time and enjoy her as I became acquainted with her body. And I did with each thrust, studying her expressions.

Her breathing became erratic and suddenly she pushed up telling me she wanted to switch back to her on top. She didn’t do it politely either. I yielded for a minute to keep her comfortable with me
; it was our first time. As she was on top, suddenly it occurred to me what she was doing. She wanted total control and I didn’t like that. I had proven to her that I could deliver and felt like she should let me lead now. So, I flipped her little ass right back over. She tried to turn me back and I didn’t let her. I grinded. She pushed me. I grinded deeper. She pushed again but this time a gesture of pain came across her face. I halted my movements.

"You okay?”

“No, don’t stop! Don’t stop!” She heaved and thrust in a quickened pace.

Rayna gyrated
into me like a mad woman while I resumed my plunges into her deeply. When I thought her orgasm was done, I stopped to give her a break but I stayed inside her. I looked at the clock. That was her third orgasm in thirty-five minutes.

Again, I asked, “Are you okay?”

“Mmmmmmm…hmmmm!” she moaned.

On that note, I started digging back in. I stroked and stroked and stroked. For every stroke, she met me with a thrust. We kept at it until I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to let it loose. Goose bumps had risen across my body and my heart rate increased simultaneously. It seemed as though Rayna instinctively knew when I was climaxing. She increased her movements, tightened her inner walls
, and gripped my body. The woman was handling her business. I lost control for a minute, lost myself in her. My few seconds of ecstasy seemed to have lasted a lifetime as I exploded inside of her.

Once I was able to regain myself
, I let up off her and laid there staring at the ceiling. She laid there with me for a few minutes in silence. I wanted to ask what she was thinking, but I enjoyed the agreeable silence as well. After a while, she got up and walked out of the room. Rayna returned soon after with a cold bottle of water. She handed it to me, “You have to be thirsty.”

“Yeah, I am. Thank you.” She had bedside manners. I could get use
d to this.

Azmir

Things were moving in a new direction in my life. I wasn’t willing to bet my last on Rayna but I damn sure was eager to ride it out. I had to admit there was something quite intriguing about this woman. I had new business ventures, new money
, and a new prospective companion. Life was looking sweet.

Little did I know, in an office in Sacramento, there was a conversation being had about my associates and me.

James Lombardi

“Damn it,
Lombardi, you had better be 100% on this or it’s your ass!” Dave Munick, the head of Major Crimes of the California Bureau of Investigations howled as he slammed the file he’d just previewed on the table of the bull room.

“Captain, if I had any doubts about this I wouldn’t serve it to you on a silver platter. The head of the Division of Juvenile Justice is corrupt and is at the helm of a multi-million dollar illegal drug operation. In this file there is iron-clad proof that we have reason to open an investigation
,” Jim Lombardi pleaded.

Lombardi
is a forty-plus year-old veteran with a superior record of closing cases new and cold. He’s been bounced around Southern California because of his reputation of playing by his own rules. A handsome Italian, James stood six feet tall and was about two hundred and ten pounds with jet-black hair, and thick, dark eyebrows with a killer smile to top it off.  He was unmarried because of his love affair with the job. James had a strange moral compass, he screwed many women including the clerks and secretaries his unit employed—but he hated crooked cops.

“Sergeant, Daryl Harrison and I go way back to training.
He and his family attended my kid’s Sweet Sixteen. We attended each other’s anniversary dinners. We go to the same retirement parties. Not to mention, he’s one of a few minorities in authority. Do you know what that means? NAACP on this Bureau’s ass…then the Chief on my ass! I am not shanking the man just to satisfy your itching balls. Understand?” Captain Munick scolded with a red face and gasping for air.

“And what? Do we let a fraudulent peer run rampant in our judicial system? What ever happened to prosecuting criminals of all vocations? This fellow-officer manipulates young, vulnerable, cast-aside, tainted, felons into furthering his distorted conquests as a drug kingpin. He had a police officer killed in Brooklyn, New York
twenty-five years ago to satisfy his insatiable need for power and money. He then befriends the man’s family, moves the family away under the guise of support, and annihilates the wife to isolate the son. He has the mother arrested on some trumped up charges—” Lombardi was interrupted.

“She sold drugs according to your report, Sergeant…” Munick interjected.

“Yes, she did but
his
drugs. She was set up. Ultimately, he did this so that he could use a poor kid to peddle his drugs while he wears a badge of law. That kid now is at the helm of a major drug operation…one of the largest in the country.” Lombardi paused in hopes of having proven his case. He didn’t get the response he had hoped for so he continued.

“Captain, I am willing to risk my career on this. Now, we may not be able to get every bad cop in this great Sunshine State but we can get
Harrison
.”

Munick gave J
ames a deep apprehensive gaze, “Why us? Why the CBI? Isn’t this something for Internal Affairs or FBI?”

“Eventually we’ll have to transfer this over for federal charges but right now it belongs to Major Case because there was a murder involved and the overall complexity of this case. My guy in the 88
th
Precinct, back in Brooklyn, tells me that Harrison has been suspected in the murder of a fellow officer, Dasu Jacobs in a drug feud. He’s a monster, Captain!”

Munick gave a deep sigh before saying, “Sergeant
Lombardi, I will sign off on a discreet, low priority, preliminary investigation. And I will give you one month to produce adhesive evidence. If nothing comes about, I expect your
Request for Transfer
on my desk immediately following this thirty-day period. Understood?”

Lombardi
exhaled deeply before resting his index finger on the conference room table across from his superior and said, “Completely, sir!”

Munick was a short time away from retiring and didn’t want to leave labeled as disloyal. He wanted to be respected for all the
thirty-plus years he put on the job. “
This undescended-testicle little pisser isn’t going to tarnish my reputation just because he’s jonsin’ for a high profile case!
” he thought to himself.

He only took Jim
, as he was affectionately referred to, into his unit to cut him a break. He remembered being that green, nose-in-the-air, justice-will-be-done, bring-down-the-bad-guy-at-all-costs type of cop. Munick thought that with a little patience and time he could sketch the reality of being an officer of the law in Southern California. He saw the good in Lombardi. Hell, he even pitied him to some degree, no one wanted to work with the guy. He was three times divorced and had no family to speak of. This Bureau was his life.

Munick didn’t think
Lombardi would dig up much but gave him the green light thinking this was an opportunity to impress upon him humility.

“Brief me on the details of this investigation so far
,” Munick requested in acquiesce.

Lombardi
produced a knowing grin as he began opening his notes. He couldn’t hide his exult as he peered upon his Captain.

Munick was a
sixty-two-year-old with salt and peppered hair and huge beer belly, from a small town right outside of Seattle. He’s maintained a fairly decent reputation among his peers but Lombardi felt that he had gotten too soft, too banal in practice.
This is a solid case and he knows it
, is what Munick believed and would prove to him. 

“Well, here’s the other piece. We’re not the only office looking into this,
sir. Major Case in New York has opened an investigation already. They’ve released a woman by the name of Yazmine Jacobs from Sing Sing in Ossining, New York. She’s the wife of Dasu Jacobs and mother of a suspected drug lord named Azmir Divine Jacobs. Harrison had her hunted down in Chicago on trumped up charges of drug trafficking. New York says he did this to corner the Jacobs’ boy who was then around fourteen or fifteen years old so that he can coach him into the drug game,” Lombardi explained.

“No shit…” commented Munick as he rubbed his chin the way he does when his mind is
roiling.

“This is serious, Captain. Now we need to focus our investigation on Azmir as well. He is connected to Harrison and it is believed that they’re partners. So far
, I haven’t been able to pin anything on him. He has no criminal record to speak of. He was arrested twice as a juvie in Chicago for car theft and aggravated assault, but never charged or incarcerated as an adult. Those juvie records have been expunged, but I pulled some strings to have them dug up. I believe Harrison attempted to have them wiped out as part of his plan.

“Yazmine was arrested while he was in school. According to his high school guidance counselor, no one knew of his mother’s disappearance. She recalls his dad coming to school to sign him in after a string of excessive absences. The problem is Azmir’s father died
before
they moved to Illinois. I’m sure it was Harrison. He moved Azmir to L.A. after he graduated high school. Azmir went to Stanford for three years…even maintained a 3.8 grade point average before dropping out. According to the IRS, he’s been paying taxes on businesses for the past ten years. He owns approximately twelve businesses…small and large. He keeps his nose clean on the surface but I’m going in deep to find his dirt.” Lombardi wouldn’t take a breath, he kept pouring his evidence down Munick’s throat.

“Yazmine has been released from Sing Sing under the condition she helps New York find evidence to convict Harrison of the death of her husband. And sir, from what I hear, Azmir doesn’t even know his mother is alive. She hasn’t seen or heard from him since he was about
fifteen years old,” Lombardi continued to brief.

Munick took another long pause as he grew intrigued by this information on the case. He knew however, that he didn’t want to be attached to a failed attempt to bring down a law enforcement brother’s career. “Thirty days,
Lombardi…3-0!” he said as he rose from the table and exited the boardroom. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Rayna

“So my first time with Azmir was good,” I lied to Michelle at Ole’ Café in Santa Monica. I’d just finished giving her the low down the Monday following Azmir’s birthday. My time with Azmir was far from good—try extraordinary, in spite the awkwardness of the power struggle.

“Oooh! And you came twice?!” Michelle sat
enchanted with dreamy eyes. “That sounds more than good, woman!”

I sighed to myself as I tried to maintain an impassive tone and expression. I was still trying to process that sexual control that I tried to assert to a resistant dominant lover like Azmir. 

“No, three times. I couldn’t tell you how out of control I felt.” My voice dropped, “I’ve never had orgasms like that.” I never meant for
that
one to escape my thoughts.

“What do you mean?”
her forehead furrowed.

I hated that I walked
right into this with Michelle. Sex wasn’t a sensitive topic for me in general, but orgasms were. I rubbed my forehead with gripping pressure.

“You know…I’ve never had a vaginal orgasm, much less two.”

My mumble was far more defeated than I intended. I’d been having not so good thoughts about my new
relationship
with Azmir. I felt overwhelmingly captivated by this man who I didn’t hold a title to. What was worse is that it actually mattered to me.

“And you said he’s hung like a horse?” Michelle squeaked. I sighed internally realizing that my slip up had gone over her head.
Thank God for small favors.

“Girl, I thought that shit was going to slap me in the face.” I couldn’t help it as we burst in laughter like two schoolgirls.

“I think you guys fell in love that night!” Michelle eyes danced with passion and romantic optimism.

I sucked my teeth and waved her off with my hand. She had started going astrological on me. I didn’t subscribe to that celestial bullshit.

“No…really, Na-Na! He’s a Gemini…you’re a Cancer. It was inevitable!” she shouted. Again, here was when she went valley girl on me. “There was too much sexual energy between you two. I don’t know when Azmir’s last sexual experience was, but yours was so ancient that I didn’t think you’d remember what parts of the body were involved to do it. And why didn’t you suck that big cock?” she demanded with humor.

After a good
, laugh at her expense, I said, “It isn’t the time for that, Shelly. I don’t know him like that and certainly didn’t want to give off the wrong impression.”

“Sex is sex, Na-Na! People like you take it too seriously. You two have been waiting to tear each other apart since that night at Cobalt. Why not satisfy every sexual act?”
she preached and I wasn’t taken aback. Michelle had her views on sexual conduct and I held my own contrasting beliefs.

“And risk my self-respect with him?” I challenged.

“Trust me…it would have been so great, he would’ve called you Queen of Sheba from that day on!” she giggled to herself.

This is where Michelle and I differed. There are those guys you use for sex to release tension
and unleash that freak inside. And then there are those that come around carrying the potential of offering more than a night of ecstasy. Azmir made me feel things that night and brought out things that I didn’t know was possible but I also felt he was more than that one experience.

“Okay, so where does this put you guys?” Michelle eyed me quizzically.

I let out a lungful exhale. I didn’t want to be reminded of that newly arrived and obscure place for us. While I understood there was no commitment between Azmir and me, I certainly didn’t view him as just a magic stick.

“Sex with him doesn’t solidify a relationship, so I guess I’ll continue with life as usual.” I tried to sound convincing, but deep inside I was sulking.

“Just remember—” she attempted before I interrupted.

“Shelly, I know. I’m keeping an open mind.”

She looked at me with a forlorn smile. “You’re going to be alright, girlfriend.” She stroked the side of my face in endearment. She conveniently changed the subject by saying, “I can’t get over the celebrities that were there that night!”

We continued our conversation with talks of Azmir’s birthday bash and didn’t revisit the topic of my sex life and
befuddling dating status. We left the café and I returned to work. When I entered the practice reception area, I asked Sharon for my messages. She handed me three. I quickly decided none were from anyone I wanted to speak to right away so I jumped right into my next appointment who was a college student that was injured while horsing around with his fellow drunken buddies. As I was examining his soleous muscle to see if it was responding to the treatment I’d prescribed, I noticed how muscular he was. I thought to myself,
His sexual stamina must be at its peak
. That thought immediately took me to Azmir. I couldn’t help but to think about that night with him. He served it up so generously, dispelling my original fear of him being a five-minute brother. He was so gentle and intense.