Love Lost (Love's Improbable Possibility) (28 page)

“You should be able to appreciate my variability considering you play the same game
,” he said before taking a long sip of his drink.

“What do you mean?” I was so thrown.

“I met you presenting a leasing proposal, representing one of the largest physical therapy firms in Southern California. This same woman with intelligence, drive, and charisma was ready to tear down a hood-boogie and sliced up a Latino gang-banger. Not to mention how comfortable you are around people of that urban facet. I saw you with Chanell…and you can’t get more ghetto than that.”  He was right, Chanell was as ghetto as they come.

“Really, Azmir…tell me something and be honest. What are your intentions with me?” I knew what we’d spoken about in Mexico but it left me confused with subsequent questions. Why would he want me to request to sleep with him?
Did he not want to sleep with me?
That would be ridiculous seeing that he kept pursuing me.

He had just taken a sip of his drink when his head cocked back slightly and he flashed a coochie creaming smile without teeth and then he swallowed. It was clear that my question had caught him by surprise.

“What do you
think
my intentions are? Humor me,” he spoke as if he was intrigued.

“See that’s the thing…” I said
, pointing my finger in the air. “I don’t know. Although since Mexico we’ve never had the opportunity…I mean it wouldn’t be the most original motive.” I smirked hoping he’d catch my undertone.

“Alright
,” he agreed to take on the subject, subconsciously licking his beautifully sculpted lips as he sat up in his chair again. The sexy smirk that crested upon his face had disappeared. “Let’s make something clear. I don’t need ass. As you implied earlier, let’s not play any games here. If it’s ass I want—it’s ass I get.” Azmir’s words were forward and adamantly clear. He continued, “Did it ever dawn on you that I genuinely enjoy your company? You have a wonderful personality, infectious sense of humor and are strikingly gorgeous. I can admire that without indulging. I’m thirty-plus. I got more ass than a toilet seat in my twenties because it was plentiful and I wanted it. And don’t get me wrong, there isn’t a shortage of it now, but I’m more interested in quality versus quantity when it comes to sex.”

So it’s now clear
—we’re talking sex. Good!

“So, you’ll continue to ‘
enjoy my company
’ without any hopes or intentions of sleeping with me unless I make it clear that I want to? That’s ambiguity at its best, Mr. Jacobs,” I purposely asked in an overt doubtful tone. I even balled up my mouth for good measure.

“Oh
, please believe, Ms. Brimm, I
will
tap that ass soon enough,” Azmir informed so smoothly and confidently. My juices started to flow. Little did he know he could’ve thrown me over the table and fucked me right then and there. I wanted a taste of him so bad I ached, but I couldn’t let him know.

“Oh?” was all I could squeeze out. Now it was my turn to nervously brush the back of my neck. I needed to break the heavy flow of passion that
transmitted between us.

“I’ll put that on my last.” He took another sip of his
cognac and a deep pause followed. “Rayna, I have to be honest. Right now, I’m in a transitional period in my life. Now, I’m not saying that I’m ready to get married and have kids, but I would like companionship. In my formative years, I ran the streets so much I damn sure didn’t want a woman chasing behind me cramping my style. But now, there aren’t many places I frequent where she can’t go. I’ve been sizing you up and I’ve noticed how you don’t ask for much of me. I believe much of that is because you don’t know me well enough to trust me but whatever it is—it works for me. And all I can do is fly with it until I see it isn’t working anymore.” I wasn’t expecting that, it was a lot to take in.

“Speaking of clocking, you didn’t speak in
great detail of your previous significant relationship.” I suddenly wanted to know more about him.

“Neither have you.”

I blushed feeling like I was busted. “Well, that’s because I don’t have any.”

“You’ve never had a boyfriend?” he said in disbelief.

“Believe it or not, I’ve only had one and that was in high school.”

“So that lasted quite a few years, huhn?” he
presumed.

“Ummm, not exactly
,” I said as I shifted in my seat. I heard Raheem hit a high note, which reminded me of where we were. The ambiance was perfect. Too perfect. The conversation was getting touchy. I didn’t want to discuss my past. “That relationship basically ended with high school. I’ve had encounters since then…you know…a friend here and there but nothing that’s materialized anything worthy to speak of.”

“Has that been by choice?”

“No. It’s just that I’ve encountered so much bullshit…you know, liar after cheater…after player…after even a wanna-be abuser—that of course didn’t last long because I don’t do too well with people hitting me. So, I just want something real and honest. If that means you being honest and saying you have a girlfriend, or you can’t control your temper, or you can’t tell the truth to save your life, or you like guys just as much as you like women—give me that up front. This way I can make an informative decision as to whether or not I can deal,” I was preaching with conviction.

“Damn! You had one of
those
?” Azmir’s mouth twisted into a rueful smile, referring to bisexual men.

I snorted, “Yeah, man. I’ve encountered them all!” I sighed and we laughed.

The waitress came back with our food and refills on our drinks not too long after the conversation heated up. Azmir did a little opening up himself. He told me that he had moved around a lot as a child. He’d even lived in Chicago for a few years. I wasn’t expecting him to disclose that he lost his father to the streets in the line of duty. His father was a cop and was killed when Azmir was twelve years old. He didn’t speak much about his mother other than saying she wasn’t in California. He said when things grew out of control in Brooklyn after his father’s passing his mom moved him out to Chi-town. However, out there he started getting into trouble and was incarcerated.
So that’s where his rough nature comes from?

Azmir shared how he spent two years in a juvenile detention center. When he was released he had nowhere to go because his mother left town without notice. He was almost homeless until a friend of his father’s came to help him out. He maintained the bills in Azmir’s mother’s apartment when he was only sixteen and registered him in school. They made a deal; Azmir would get into no trouble and stay under the radar so he wouldn’t need this “
guardian
” to visit the school. He paid all of Azmir’s expenses and even paid for a top tutoring program to catch him up in his studies.

Azmir graduated 3
rd
in his class. The scholarships came pouring in for college. Stanford was one of many options but the one he chose. Azmir said he only completed three years there because the idea of starting his own business was calling his name. He worked dog hours and saved up enough to start throwing local parties. He made enough from that venture to open up his first bodega. After having two in South Central, Azmir set his sights on higher heights and opened up a unisex salon. That venture led to two more salons; one was a barbershop and the other was a beauty salon exclusively for women.

As we enjoyed our meal,
Azmir said he grew hungrier for success by the minute. He had grown up with a few well-known rap artists of today and they put him onto a new means of entrepreneurship. He said these everyday people had made it big and started opening up restaurants and clubs. So he and Petey opened a strip club though that was primarily Petey’s business. He next moved to the club we visited a week or so ago called, “
The Joint
” and things took off from there.

Azmir
said the amazing thing is that all of his businesses, with the exception of the bodegas, still exists and are thriving today. He even shared when his aspirations for mergers and acquisitions began. Azmir has had an established firm for a few years now that is flourishing. This man was doing the damn thing!

We listened as Mark got up to give a few words of thanks for everyone attending the re-opening of Mahogany. He was an articulate
man but with a challenged sense of humor. Mark handed the stage back over to Raheem to continue his romantic serenades. Azmir must have felt the same about Mark’s skewed sense of humor because he commented on it and told me stories about him trying to help his friend with pick-up lines. We laughed endlessly and freely at the worst pick-up lines we’d ever heard.
Azmir laughing...wow!

My mirth slowed before his at some point because I couldn’t ignore the allure of his profile as
Azmir’s attention went to his musical instruments that were given as gifts placed there on the table. He closely observed it and read the instructions. Azmir’s cheekbones sat high and curved with strong masculinity. His eyelashes curled wonderfully above his crescent-shaped eyes that were a mesmeric shade of brown with depths below the deepest of seas. His mouth was slender but his full lips spoke endless sensual possibilities. I drank in his low haircut that was always trimmed with precision.

My heart
beat rapidly in my chest and the pulse between my legs pleaded with me to let it be known. I had to have him. I could fool Michelle into my failing mission to take things slow, but that all faded in Azmir’s presence. I saw visions of me on top of him milking him from between my legs and watching his eyes roll back. Hell, I’d even dreamed about it a few times. It was during times like this when I was around him that I lost all restraints. Azmir caught my ogling and his mouth twitched into a smirk sending me into lecherous fury.

“I want you.”

Shit!
The words slipped from my mouth sans approval from my brain.

“I know.”

WHAT?

“H-how do you know
?” I swallowed in an attempt to wet my sudden raspy voice.

His tantalizing eyes slanted
, giving away his thoughts and he craned his neck to whisper in my ear, “Because I can feel the reverberation of you throbbing on the bench.”

I gasped all of a sudden feeling inundated with shame
and need
. I grabbed the base of my neck feeling exposed. Looking around our booth I felt exposed, though I knew in all good sense that no one was paying us attention as the show was in full flow. And not to mention we were far out of hearing range for the entire room in the large circular booth, but I felt as bare as being nude.

I felt my tongue reach the back of my mouth not realizing it was one of Azmir’s tendencies until he sa
id, “No. There’s no need to be embarrassed. It’s perfectly okay to have an intact libido.”

I felt the pull from deep down and in no time
, the pool in my panties pushed me to adjust myself in my seat. I needed to regain control of myself and this conversation.

“I’m just kidding…being a little too flirtatious.”
That was weak, but an attempt nonetheless
. And Azmir wasn’t buying it, I could tell from the sleek grin that formed on his beautiful face. I scoffed, “You may not be all that great in bed anyway. You know what they say,
not one person can have it all
.” That was delivered more believably. I was desperate for a rebound.

Azmir gazed deep into my eyes locking them in place. It was the strangest way I’d ever connected with a man. I couldn’t move my gaze, neither could I breathe, I was
somehow paralyzed. He scooted over closer and immediately I felt the heat radiating from his proximity, his delicious scent blanketed me, deluding me of all good judgment and awareness of my surroundings. He lowered his mouth to my ear, “Breathe, Brimm. Breathe.”  

“I’m fine
,” I managed to mutter over my heaving chest. I could no longer hold in air. He was so close that all I had to do was hiccup and my lips would fall on his.

“I don’t think you are. And I think I can prove it.” His breath carried a hint of brandy that turned my nipples taut. His warm hands traveled up my hiked dress stripping me of all will. I muffled a groan when his fingers found their way to the bed of my panties, rubbing back and forth over my vaginal lips. Azmir put his fingers to work as he looked me
directly in the eyes communicating comfort through his fixated gaze. With total equanimity in play, he was calm as he amorously mangled my brewing body.

He slowly cocked his head to the side
, messaging to my body to relax and his eyes danced with mine telling me that we were further connecting, totally cutting off everything and everyone around us. His fingers worked their way into my panties and started massaging my swollen pearl. My legs gave way and parted in total submission to him. And when they did he gave a slight nod in approval of
his
will.

“God
damn, Brimm, you’re crying down here,” he growled lowly.

My eyes g
rew heavy and my mouth collapsed from the total bliss I was experiencing, my body responding to his touch as I creamed in his hand. And I did so unabashed because that’s what I knew he was summoning, he wanted control over me and I couldn’t help but give it to him. My face hardened as I didn’t want to give him
total
control so easily, the expression of exhilaration that he would have enjoyed. My body may have been giving him what he wanted to feel but my face wouldn’t show him what he wanted to see.