Love Lost (Love's Improbable Possibility) (22 page)

She started on Kim next. Kim’s from Detroit and came to L.A. to do some acting. She got a few gigs as extras but nothing of significance ever materialized. Depression started settling in and in response she started partying wildly. This was back when
Divine
and Petey did local parties around the way. She went to one of the parties and met Petey when he was fresh out of the pen. He married her right away and they had five children
right away
. She put on an insane amount of weight as the children piled on and lost control of it. Chanell guessed that didn’t matter because they’re good together.

“She got his back and he take good care of her. She know Petey got crazy hours because he be out making sure all Divine
street
business is handled while he’s on the day job. She nice and all but she could just be so quiet!” Chanell told me. I was wondering what type of “
street business
” she was referring to but once again reserved my impulse to ask.

“So, where you from, Rayna?”
Chanell asked. At this point of the conversation the other girls were around and listening in.

“I’m from the east coast. I went to school in North Carolina
,” I said coolly. I didn’t want to go beyond that and didn’t have to because that’s when Syn shrilled, “Oh, you one of them brainiac bitches, hunh?!” and began laughing manically. She was inebriated but I didn’t care. I lost it at that point. I couldn’t understand what was written on my forehead to make this chick believe I could be tested. Was it my feminine docile manner? I had to check her and right away.

“I don’t know who the fucckkk…” I enunciated, “…you take me for but you got one more time to come out your face with another smart remark and Im’ma slap the living shit out you!” I bawled, calling on all of my around the way flair.

Syn’s neck snapped.
“Who the fuck she think she talking to?” She seemed to have asked someone else instead of me.

“What I tell you, Syn, about your mouth? Just shut the hell up before all this shit get carried away and back to Divine and Kid!” Kim
advised.

“Oh, no! Don’t tell her another muthafuckin’ thing! Let her keep running her mouth. And fuck what any of them gonna say because
I’m
gonna whoop your high yellow ass!” I said as I walked up on her ready to swing. I was out of breath and had clearly lost control of my temper.

She followed up and walked towards me, too, like she was ready to brawl. The girls got in between us so that it wouldn’t go down. Once she saw she had a barrier Syn hog spit and aimed it at me. It landed on my foot.
Anger rose from the pit of my core. I pulled my fist as far back as my arm would recoil and swung forward with such force that I lost my balance when Chanell pushed Syn totally out of my range. Syn stumbled but managed to land on her feet. At that time I moved closer to her to swing again when Kim belted out, “Stop it!!”

People back in L.A. had to hear that. It seemed as if everyone on the beach obeyed that command because there was dead silence and all eyes were on us. Chanell gave me
an “
I can’t let you fight her
” look as she shook her head forlornly. Kim’s expression told me she wasn’t letting anything go down on her clock either. I was so infuriated that I grabbed my things and trekked back to the hotel building just a few feet away.

I had to calm myself down and realized that I was with people of a certain
element
, as Jamie Foxx so profoundly put it. And although I was, too, I was out numbered. To take it down and summons my class and dignity as well as manage my back pain and cramping I put on smooth music I managed to find on the radio. I took a bath in the gigantic whirlpool, submerging the back of my head to soak all the salt from my weave. I ran about three baths to be sure most was out and after which, I showered and washed my hair. When I got out I began blow-drying my hair so the braids underneath wouldn’t be so damp. Having extensions added to your natural hair was so much work but well worth the
look
when it was complete.

As I was
looking in the mirror taming my hair I jumped when I saw Azmir’s alluring gaze upon me from over my shoulder. He had a soft smile that took my breath away, but for some reason I knew he had heard what took place on the beach. I was prepared to
handle
him, I’d just hope this wouldn’t get too ugly.

“You startled me
,” I said dryly.
Self-protection mode on
.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that you are visibly upset and cute as hell about it.” His smile disappeared and I secretly wondered if my callous tone was the cause. When he used words like
visibly
in such an articulate way, I totally forgot I was talking to the thug and pulled back. He confused the hell out of me with that. But I just played along.

“I take it you heard what happened?” I tried goading him.

“I have.” His expression is impassive. “Don’t sweat it. Girls like Syn are very insecure, so insecure that they try to sniff out the insecurities in well-put together women. You can’t allow her to get the best of you, but unfortunately you have to demand your respect and that’s the only way it works with people like her,” he said with such calm and wisdom.

With guards still up I turned to him. “Look Azmir, I didn’t come out here to cause any trouble
or to be tested by some chicken-head. You told me that I’d vacation during the day and retreat with you during the evening.”

“And you haven’t done that? Have I not been true to my word?”
he asked with a raised eyebrow. This is when I found him intimidating.

“For the most part
—yes, but if you knew this girl was going to test me why didn’t you at least forewarn me?”

“I didn’t know it was going to happen, but I have to be honest
, after my last relationship I told myself my next woman in my life had to be able to mingle with my people and not just the refined ones, either.” His voice was firm and my nipples hardened at his subtle warning.
But who said I want to be yours?

“So this was a test?” That came out just as harsh as I intended it to. I needed to know.

“No, but it was probably inevitable. You handled yourself well and I don’t think you’ll be getting any flak from her again. Chanell told me if it wasn’t for her you would’ve knocked the wind out of that girl!” he snorted.

I didn’t find it funny at all. He didn’t understand. I was out there trying to get my sexy on not my thug!

“Yeah, whatever…” I muttered and continued doing my hair. He walked away as coolly as he appeared. Once I was done, I got dress and lay across the bed with a book. About a half hour later, Azmir came in and asked if I wanted to go to the local store with him off the property. I told him I would and slipped on shoes and grabbed my bag.

We caught a cab and then walked to the store that was a few miles away from the resort and into the residential area. The community was humble and the locals were sitting out in front of the buildings looking at everything that moved out in the heat. We talked as we walked. Azmir had an interesting way of theorizing life, a way of simplifying the complexities of it. A way of influencing my views. I absorbed his wisdom but clandestinely. I couldn’t relinquish total trust to him. As I told Michelle, who thought I was crazy, I could feel there were some things he was keeping from me.

We made a turn down a rather dark alley. Although it was dim I could see the lights from the bodega that was some yards away. Azmir was in the middle of telling me a story about his first visit to Puerto Vallarta when out of nowhere I see two small but round images in my periphery scurrying around. In a clearer view, once they were upon us they encircled Azmir who was already in a defensive stance when my eyes landed on him. Both guys were significantly shorter than Azmir, but one of them was very bulky. They rushed him and began swinging on him.

I should have screamed but instead I froze momentarily in total disbelief of what was occurring not knowing what to do. The fight or flight response is real when faced with danger because in that moment my mind perpended with running for protection, but my heart cemented me in place reminding me that Azmir was here and I should stay with him.
Protect him
. Adrenaline coursed through my body and I experienced intermittent periods of hot and cold flashes as my heart pulse drummed in my ears.

Unlike me
, Azmir was calm. He immediately went into fight mode and punched with measured forces, rarely did he miss a punch as tried to gain distance to have a vantage point. He kept his chin down and his eyes were dark and predatory. He scared even me. When one of his punches dazed the taller of two assailants Azmir began jabbing him with lightning speed. He was tagging them with thunder. The shorter guy kept giving him body shots in the right shoulder to try to prevent him from being able to use it because he saw Azmir was lighting up his struggling partner with harsh jabs.

After I came down from my shock and disbelief
, I pulled out my knife and pepper spray. I had to think quickly; they were not taking Azmir down. I couldn’t sit back and watch it happen; it just couldn’t go down like that.

I drew the
pocketknife and started slashing the big guy in the back with rapid speed. He yelped with pain as he turned around to attack, spewing vulgarities in his native tongue. That’s when I maced the hell out of him and quickly kicked him in the balls as hard as my bare feet in my flip-flops would allow me. I could’ve kneed him but I didn’t want to get too close for him to grab me. As I watched him fall to his knees, I saw him cup his jewels with one hand and his face with the other and saw that it worked. When I looked about to see Azmir, he had the bulky guy on the ground beating him to a bloody pulp.

I shrieked, “Azmir!”

It tore my heart out to see him incensed with rage. I needed to let him know we had to go in case more came. He jumped up to leave but not before using those same angry eyes to access me. That’s when I realized I’d had blood on my hands and clothes.

“Where are you hurt?” he barked with flared nostrils.

“I’m not. This isn’t my blood.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Azmir, let’s go before more come!”

Azmir went over to the guy that I maced and stomped him in the head before kicking him in the nuts.
I winced as the man shrieked in pain. Azmir then grabbed my hand and we ran to the nearby store. As we approached the building, Azmir yelled, “Where the fuck is Papeto?
WHERE’S PAPETO
!” so loud it frightened even me and apparently the young olive boy in front of the store. The little guy jumped off the stool and ran to open the door for us after calling for someone.

In the store, what appeared to be the owner, tried to talk to Azmir through the kid who translated. I could tell they knew each other, which meant we were safe. From what I was able to make out the older gentlemen kept apologizing and verbalizing his disbelief and regrets. For the next half hour all I could ask myself is why did I go away with this
man? This was definitely not a vacation, it was more like an action packed video game.

About
fifteen minutes later the rest of the fellas from this “
Clan
” arrived as I was examining my throbbing foot, they talked amongst themselves. It seemed as though they were trying to figure out who the guys were. Petey, Kid, and Wop came over at separate times to make sure I was okay. Wop asked if I needed anything and I requested a pack of ice for my foot, unlike what I told Azmir the dozens of times he’d asked. I knew he was upset about what had happened but I couldn’t deal with his regrets, I’d had my own. I didn’t think I broke anything in my foot but couldn’t be too sure. Eventually Azmir came over again and asked if I needed to see a doctor. Again, I told him no. I definitely didn’t want to seek medical attention so far from home. I’d just have someone at the practice take a look at it for a second opinion when I got back.

We made it back to the resort where I dumped all of my clothes in a trash bag and jumped in the shower. While there I inspected my foot again to be sure there were n
o broken bones. From what I could assess, there was no major damage. As I was sliding on my white linen slip in the bathroom Azmir knocked on the door to my room to see if I wanted something to eat. I declined telling him I just wanted to go to bed. I really didn’t want to be bothered and felt that my coming with him to Mexico was a huge mistake. I just wanted the hours to pass so that I could get back home. I think I made it very clear.

I called Michelle to give her an update of my time away. She wasn’t as sympathetic as I thought she would be but she was gentle in saying the mishaps was strictly coincidental and could happen to anyone. She apologized for my misery and wished she could be there to kick Syn’s ass for me and to just give me a hug. I laughed although it didn’t seem like much
; it helped a lot. Not too long after getting off the phone with her I fell asleep, my fatigued body needed rest.

In the middle of the night
, I had a nightmare about the men from the alley breaking into my room for revenge and Azmir was nowhere to be found. They strapped me down to the bed and were about to cut me with a knife. I jumped out of my sleep. I looked around the room and then at the clock that read two twenty-three a.m. I couldn’t continue to lay there alone. I didn’t want to but had to swallow my pride and go into Azmir’s room. I could tell earlier that he didn’t like my rejection and decided to give me my time alone. The fact still remained that we really didn’t know each other, it was best that he played it safe. The look in his eyes every time he asked about my condition after the attack was so intense, protective, eerily promising.