Love Lost (Love's Improbable Possibility) (18 page)

“Oh, so now that you’re the man
in the corporate world you think you could come in here and disrespect me? Who in the hell do you think you are talking to like that…one of your hood-rat girlfriends? You wouldn’t be able to break bread with the elite if it wasn’t for my grooming!”

“Grooming? You must have lost your fucking mind. Do you know anything about me?
” I gave her a pointed glare.

“
I’m a self-made man, one that has never needed anything from you but for you to show some patience, class, and to keep your goddamn legs closed.” I tried to digest the fact that she smacked the hell out of me.

“No! Me and my daddy made you. You weren’t shit before us and you ain’t gonna be shit now!” Tara yelled with tears streaming down her face. I knew that my words had stung but she needed to be brought back down to size, she was being demoted from
wifee
to family-friend, which meant she no longer had emotional privileges with me. Tara could no longer have those affecting outbursts. 

I didn’t want this to get any uglier than it had already gotten so I headed for the door. I knew if that bitch tried to hit me again, I would’ve knocked her fucking block off. When she saw me heading towards the door she begged me not to go and even tried to grab me. She screamed her apologies and began to cry hysterically. I left her right where she stood.

That night I went to my crib in Pasadena and picked up some clothes. I knew this would be a long night of off the chart-phone ringing and possibly uninvited guests, namely Tara. I moved as swift as possible and was in and out in no time. After leaving the house, I went to the grocery store and picked up a few things to cook at my new spot in Marina Del Rey. When I arrived, I put everything away, popped in a Will Downing CD and jumped in the shower. I needed to relax, wash away the debris of the day.

After my shower
, I went into the kitchen to start cooking. I hadn’t played chef in a minute. As I was cooking, considered how good it would be to have someone to cook for and oddly my mind ventured to Ms. Brimm. I looked at the clock that read ten thirty-eight p.m. I didn’t think that was too late so I decided to give her a call.

Mmmmm…hello?” Rayna said sounding seductive.

“Ms. Brimm,” I greeted with a big ole smile on my face. I’d hope I wasn’t interrupting her.

“Azmir?” She sounded a little dazed.

“…the one and only.”

“Hey. How y
a doing?” She tried to perk it up.

“I’m chillin’. Did I disturb you?”

“Oh, no. I was sitting here reading and I guess I dozed off. I’m good.” I could tell she was still shaking the sleep off.

“I thought you’d be on the town…chilling with your girls or on a date or something…
?”

“Naaaaaaah. My date tonight was Mr. Poitier by way of
The Measure of a Man
.” She giggled as though she was embarrassed.

So, she doesn’t like running the streets? That’s good to know
, I thought to myself as I stirred the pot.

“I thought you were taking your girlfriend out?” I quizzed to make sure she knew I remembered why she said she couldn’t go out tonight.

“She ditched me for a hot date! Can you believe that? I turn down a date for her and she drops me for one. It’s a good thing we pushed it up or I would’ve been blue tonight,” she said not skipping a beat, which made me believe she was telling the truth.

“The nerve!” I joked
and earned a sexy giggle.

“I know! She rescheduled for another night so, no sweat. So, what’s a
businessman of your stature doing having enough time to call me on a Friday night? Don’t you have a dinner meeting or Hollywood event to get to?”

“I’m at a Hollywood event having dinner now
,” I returned the humor.

“Oh, yeah? Where?”

“In my kitchen is where I’m having dinner and you’re the event.”

“Oh, yeah?” She
snorted and we both laughed.

“What?” I mocked
.

“You got jokes?”

“Nah…but…it would be better if it were reversed…” I breathed into the phone.

“What would be reversed?” she asked and then immediately fired back after catching on, “If your kitchen was the event and I was your…?” she st
opped herself thinking out loud. “Cute, Mr. Jacobs…real cute.”

We laughed for a minute and then I said, “Let me stop messing with you. I was calling to set up a time when I can take you on your first Hollywood tour.”

“Hollywood tour?” She must have forgotten that quickly, to my dismay.

“You told me last night that you’d never taken the tour of L.A…
?”

“Oh, yeah! So you haven’t had enough of me, yet?”

“I guess not. When will you be available? I’ll be away towards the end of the month and want to do this before I go,” I asked, serious in my pursuit.

“Let’s see…I’ll be out of town for a couple of days next week and on Saturday I have another class…what about Sunday…next Sunday?” She was thinking aloud again.

“That works for me. But you have to be freed up the entire day. This tour is very extensive,” I warned.

“I can make that happen. Let me ask you a question.”

“Shoot!”

“Is this a date?”
she asked pointedly. 

“Oh, nah! This is just a public service from L.A.’s finest
," I teased. We both chuckled. "Nah, I’m just kidding. What would you like it to be?” I tried pulling back from the silliness.

“…whatever you want it to be. What time do you want me to be ready?” I felt as though she was trying to cover up her previous statement. I had a feeling she meant something by that but let it go. I wasn’t ready to go there myself.

“Let’s say eleven in the morning?”

“True ‘dat. Sounds good to me!”
she belted like an around the way girl. I liked it.

We exchanged a few more words and then hung up. I finished cooking, ate
, and fell out. Sleep for me was scarce but when I could escape to steal some I made the most of it.

Over the next week
, I was feeling the backlash of my breakup with Tara. I couldn’t believe her mom called me. From what I’d heard, they tried to involve Big D but he refused. I figured my letting him know from the door intercepted his alarm. I got a call from her cousin, Danielle, who begged me all the way from my office at the rec to my house in Pasadena to call Tara. She claimed she was seriously concerned about her mental and emotional state if I hadn’t. I politely told her no. It took a lot to keep from telling her to mind her business, I’d always like Danielle and didn’t want to compromise that by being rude. Aside from that, I didn’t have a good week. I had not so pleasing quarterly reports from a few of my businesses.

I was in meeting after meeting with the stuffiest atmospheres because of decreases in earnings. I had to schedule follow up meetings to regroup and brainstorm ways to up those earnings.  I’d always hated this part of the business; still do. I could use a little distraction.

I had a meeting with the goons, too. At the meeting was Petey, Wop, Kid, and me. We discussed our trip to Mexico to meet with our new connect. We had to be strategic so Petey suggested that we take the ladies as a decoy. Kid was on probation and his P.O. watched him like a hawk. Although we’d leave and return by the time he had to report he always had to play it smart. I, of course, had to think of a lady to bring. We decided that we’d tell everyone including the ladies attending that we were going to Celebrate Kid’s girl’s birthday. This would stick and make sense if his P.O. was to find out about his departure.

I called Rayna on Friday when she returned from her trip. She eventually told me she had a conference that she needed to attend in San Francisco. I was impressed; she was really committed to her profession. I asked her for her address so that I could pick her up and she told me to pick her up at a gas station near where she lived. I was a little turned off by that. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t want me to come to her house. I shook it off and did it anyway. When I picked her up all of those feelings were thrown to the back of my mind when I saw her. She wore jeans that looked like they were painted on,
a simple white T-shirt, a fitted blazer and a silk scarf that she tied at her neck and heels. This was a little more casual than I was used to seeing her around work. I pulled up to her by the convenient store at the station and unlocked the door.

When she got in
, I asked, “Are you sure you want to wear those shoes? This tour includes a lot of walking.”

“I kind of figured that so I brought changing shoes in my bag.” Rayna raised the large tote bag she was carrying.

We went all over, starting out with brunch at the famous Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles where she was insistent on paying for as a pre-gesture of gratitude for the tour. She wasn’t taking no for an answer so I gave in. I was able to pull a few strings for her to tour the studio of her favorite soap opera, which was virtually unheard of; they didn’t allow tours. Next, we toured two major movie studios and went to Hollywood Blvd to visit the Kodak Theater and the walk of fame. We traveled over to the Santa Monica Pier and in the Beverly Hills residential area. We ended the tour on Rodeo Drive. She wanted to go into all the popular designer’s shops. I noticed while in Louis Vuitton she was beside herself. Rayna showed special attention to the luggage. Her eyes were lit and bounced with wonder.

I strolled up behind her and leaned down to murmur in her ear. “What are you thinking about?”

She seemed entranced when she said, “I have a best friend who’s the total opposite of me. She comes from wealth and I come from…humble beginnings. Ever since the day I met her she’s helped me out tremendously, so much that I don’t know how my life would’ve turned out without her. Now, I’ve never had a problem with our lifestyle contrast,
or at least can’t recall any problems
, except for the time when she gave me an old Louis Vuitton suitcase that was given to her by her grandmother who replaced it after having it for just a year. My girlfriend had it for longer but gave it to me, not with sentimental value, but because she was done with the suitcase and had replaced it, too. She’s the most generous and pure hearted person on this planet…the only one who gave me a chance but that day she
handed
me the suitcase…I felt inadequate. I told myself that day that I would one day have a whole Louis Vuitton set that was purchased just for me even if it took me until I was eighty. It would be my own.”

I didn’t utter a word, giving her time to complete her moment. She turned to me, snapping from her trance and even tried to offer a mirthless chuckle. I could tell it was eating at her.

“So why don’t you get it now? At least start with one piece.”

“Nah. I have a house to buy first. I’m not rich like you, Mr. Jacobs. I have priorities.”
She smiled tightly. And even that was beautiful.

I decided
not to push the issue. We had dinner at Mr. Chows on Camden, everything flowed so well that day and we were starving by the time we sat down to eat making the timing and restaurant pick perfect. What was even better than the food was our conversation. She opened up about being from Jersey and growing up in the projects. Rayna mentioned how going away to school saved her life and meeting Michelle changed it. She spoke very highly of Michelle. I remembered her from the proposal meeting and the club but I didn’t know they were so close. I could tell she really admired her. I didn’t know women praised each other that way. I mean, it’s not like Michelle was an older woman like a grandmother, godmother, or aunt. I noticed she didn’t talk about her parents much and I didn’t push.

I told her a little about my past and who I am, at least the legal version. As B.I.G. said, “
Don’t see my ones – don’t see my guns, get it?
” Outside of my underground life my conversation with her flowed so naturally. I wasn’t used to feeling that way with any woman or person for that matter. This was bananas!

I guess our time together loosened her up as well because she let me drop her off at her complex but only to the gate. She looked at me before getting out of the car like she had something to say but was afraid to say it. It was as if she was fighting not to let her guard down totally. She said goodnight and I wanted to taste her lips so bad but knew it wasn’t time.

When I pulled away, I clicked the stereo to switch to one of my Hov CD’s and sang along with him, “
Either she the one or I’m caught in the Matrix…
” Like a fucking sappy teen, I understood the sentiment.

~~~~~~~~~~

Rayna

I was sitting in the corner of the cafeteria of the rec talking on the cell with Michelle. I had to remember to keep it down because we were laughing so much about things I didn’t want people leaving the room to take with them.

“So you had a good time, hunh girl?!” Michelle asked.

“Yeah, I guess Mr. Azmir Jacobs is an alright dude.” I couldn’t manage the boisterous smile that had crested upon my face. “Shelly, it’s crazy to be sitting in the cafeteria of the building he owns talking about him.” I looked around paranoid of anyone hearing.