Love Jones For Him (11 page)

“I’ll think about it,” she said, buying time. She was all confused. When she’d known that Jeff was already on his way back to New York, her deep instinct had been to go right after him. Just jump on a plane and leave, before she got mired in a net of her own making.

Every day she stayed, she felt more attached to this place, to Gordon. And considering that, a few months ago she’d had absolutely no ties with either, she could hardly afford to make any extreme choices.

“I want you to think about it, at least,” he said, releasing her with reluctance. “I just wanted to get it out there. I could no longer bear to keep it all inside. So now you know.”

“Now I know,” she echoed, hands twisting together. “And yes…I’ll think about it.”

Chapter Sixteen

Victoria liked the idea of being in love. To open one’s eyes with the waking thought of that special person. He made her smile for no reason; just thinking about him or something he’d said when they were together, could make her face break out with a grin.

She wasn’t prepared for it, but it felt so good. His touch, his scent; they thrilled her so easily. And when his body was next to hers, she melted. In the evenings, after the work was done, she would lead him up to her bedroom, and they would make love. Sometimes it was rough and hard, or slow and sweet. But each time, it was marvelous.

She wasn’t sure what she was going to do about her new-found feelings for Gordon. She’d never really been in love before. A few teenage crushes, some short-lived dalliances – but this looked like it went deep. Why else was she even considering what he’d said, about wanting her to stay?

That day, she had business to attend to, with the London lawyers handling the legal matters regarding the house. She was still trying to make up her mind about selling the house. One of the possibilities she was considering, was that she didn’t have to let the house go even if she had to return to New York. That way, she’d have a reason to come back whenever she wanted.

But she already had a reason, hadn’t she? There was Gordon, she thought with a smile, as she made her way back to the house after the meeting. She was in a taxi, and was riding at the back while the car made its way through the streets leading to her drive.

Then she saw them.

Gordon and Abbey. They’d just come out of a coffee shop, and he was holding her hand in a tight grip. The taxi drove slowly by on the road, and Victoria could only stare through the window as both of them embraced warmly, before Abbey placed a kiss on his cheek.

The intimacy of the scene made Victoria’s chest tighten. She sat back as if dazed, as the car drove on, making the turn that would take them straight to her home.

She couldn’t get her head around what she’d just seen. Abbey and Gordon? It didn’t seem right. It was true that Abbey had been the one to introduce them. But that didn’t mean they had anything going on, had they?

Were you blind? Mocked an inner voice, as she paid for the taxi and walked slowly up the steps leading to the front door. She let herself in, backing into the door as she stared unseeingly into space. She could have seen it all wrong, she told herself. They’d gone for some coffee, had held hands and shared a kiss. No big deal – not to me, surely, Victoria thought.

But then, what did she really know about him anyway, or Abbey? She came around with her little tit-bits of town gossip, and she’d been nice and friendly. But she was also a woman, who’d made it known that Gordon was an attractive bachelor. And then Gordon, Victoria knew next to nothing about. She’d allowed herself only to know what she’d needed to know. He was charming, smooth, and sexy. He could turn her on like a light bulb with barely any effort. He’d found his way into her bed and since then, had taken full advantage of her womanly neediness.

And then, he’d asked her to stay. Victoria guessed that any man would want more of a good thing. Her body, for as long as it pleased him. And in the mean time, he’d keep his little “friendships” with Abbey and whichever woman was out there that Victoria didn’t know about.

You’re jealous, she thought, staring at her reflection in beautiful ornate mirror hanging in the hallway. You know that Abbey is a sexy, alluring woman. And Gordon is a highly sexed, very attractive man. Was it even feasible that those two could be just friends? Yeah, right.

It didn’t matter though. Gordon didn’t belong to her. And she certainly didn’t belong to him. So whatever he and Abbey had going on, it had nothing to do with her. It didn’t mean anything.

So why did it hurt like hell?

***

He came the next morning, as usual. There were the final fittings to be done, and he was busy with them all day. Normally, she’d look in to see if he needed anything, or even for just a chat and sometimes, some necking if there was no one else around.

They’d pretty much been unable to keep their hands off each other since they’d become lovers. But Victoria was about to put a stop to that.

She’d been reckless and silly. The sex had been good but then she’d started to have feelings – and that had been dumb. Had he been laughing at her the whole time? The mixed-up American chick that’d been so easy to seduce. A few tender words, and she’d spread her legs like some needy female.

And now she was feeling the pangs. The sense of being played for a fool – and she didn’t like it. It occurred to her that she might be wrong about him, and Abbey. But what did she know? She’d come across the ocean for one purpose – and she’d already allowed herself to be sidetracked once. She’d meant to arrive, sell the house and leave. But she’d let Abbey convince her to stay and renovate the house. Next, Gordon had almost convinced her to stay.

She was done listening to people she didn’t really know. Now, she’d listen to her common sense. And it told her to show caution – to exercise more self-restraint than she’d been doing so far.

So when Gordon knocked on the door of the study and came in, he found her behind the desk, busy at the computer.

“What are you doing?” he asked mildly, coming to perch at her desk. “I thought you’d want to see what I’ve done with the cabinets in the south room.”

“I’ll look at it later,” she said with an easy smile, glancing up at him. He was tugging off his work gloves, and she drew her eyes away from him in those overalls she’d always found so sexy. Clearing her throat lightly, she added, “Right now, I’m checking out real estate prices. Trying to figure out what I can sell the house for I’ve been talking to some agents, and…”

“You’re going to sell?”

She glanced up and saw his face, his expression surprised. “I think I will,” she said. “Yes.”

“You sound like you mind’s made up already. I thought you said you’ll think about it?”

“I have,” she said, shrugging as she swiveled in her chair to face the computer again. “And I decided I should just go with the original plan. Fix the house, sell it, and leave. I don’t see any impediments to that arrangement, do you?”

“Only one,” he murmured. “Me. Victoria, I…”

“I really can’t talk now,” she said, breaking in quickly and getting to her feet. She strode out from behind her desk, and went to the door. “I have so many details to see to right now. And I’m sure you have loads to do too, so…”

She was holding open the door, and saw him pause for a few moments, before he quietly nodded, and left.

It went on for a few days in this manner. She generally kept out of his way while he was in the house, and even when he tried to talk to her, she was always too busy. Thankfully, there were more workers from his construction team than ever, working on the final stages of the house. So he was busy too, though he tried as much as he could to get Victoria to make time for them to talk. But she always found something else she needed to be doing.

She could sense his confusion, and sometimes, his irritation. She knew that he was brimming with questions about her strange new attitude, and by the end of the week; he finally got his chance to ask her.

“I want to know what’s going on,” he said.

She turned from the sink to face him as he stood in the doorway of the kitchen, adding, “You’ve become very good at avoiding me. I just don’t know why you’d need to. What’s happened, Victoria?”

She drew in a deep breath, shrugging nonchalantly. “If you’re talking about us...”

“No, I’m talking about the weather,” he said bitingly. “Of course I’m talking about us. You act like I’ve killed your pet or something. The other day we were talking about you possibly staying in London after the house is finished – and suddenly, you’re ringing up buyers. What’s that about?”

“It’s called free will,” she said in his same biting tone, as she pushed from the sink to march up to him. “I didn’t sign up for this. The renovations, the hassle. I came here to wrap this situation up as fast as I could. But thanks to certain advice, I’ve become too involved in all this and I decided, for my own good, to back out.”

“So what has that got to do with me?” he asked more gently, taking her arm. “How have I become the bad guy? Because I asked you to stay?”

“Yes,” she said truthfully, her eyes sparking with anger.

“How’s that a bad thing?” was his exasperated enquiry.

She pulled her arm angrily away. “Why should I stay? What kind of offer would you be making that would actually cause me to act so stupid? I’m not a lovesick teen, Gordon. You give some good sex but that’s never enough for a woman like me to lose her sense of self-worth.”

“What on earth are you talking about? What have I done?” he exclaimed, throwing his hands up.

“Alright,” she said with a ragged, angry sigh. “I wasn’t going to ever make it an issue, but – I saw you with Abbey. Holding hands and leaving a café. She even kissed you.”

“When was this?” he asked quietly, his eyes narrowing.

“Does it matter?” she snapped, then, “A few days ago. And since then I’ve been telling myself how foolish I was to trust you.”

“You think I have something going on with Abbey. Is that it?” he asked on a relieved laugh. “Is that the reason you’ve been giving me the leper treatment all week?”

She shrugged, folding her arms. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I was angry yes, but I’m over that. But I’ve decided to show more…self control from now on. I can’t afford to get side-tracked, not at this stage. And besides I – “

“Victoria.”

Her lips smacked together at the compelling tone in his voice, and she forced herself to draw in a breath, pausing. She looked into the blue-green pools of his eyes, and squirmed deep inside. He looked so tender and apologetic. “Darling, I should have told you about Abbey and me long ago. I’m sorry. We…”

“No, I don’t want to hear it!” Victoria cried out, surprising herself and even putting her hands over her ears protectively. She found that the last thing she wanted to know was exactly what had taken place between Gordon and Abbey. Something told her that her heart wouldn’t be able to take it.

“You don’t owe me an explanation,” she said more calmly, putting down her hands and looking squarely into his face. “It’s not like you and I…meant anything.”

“It did to me,” he gritted out, seizing her shoulders. “It still does. I want you, Victoria, only you. How can you doubt it?”

“How can I believe it?” she shot back, and then shook her head. “Gosh, we sound so silly. Why are we arguing about this? I told you, none of it matters. I just want this all to be over. I don’t belong here. And I don’t belong to you. Let me go.”

Her eyes flashed angrily into his, and she could see his bright eyes darken, before he released her shoulders. “Your body speaks a different language,” he told her, his hands sliding up to grasp her throat, holding her in place. “I could kiss you now and you’d dissolve in my arms. Why would you want to pretend that it isn’t real?”

“Because it’s not real – and I’m not pretending,” she said as firmly as she could. Gosh he looked so freaking hot when he was mad. She stilled her treacherous hormones and glared up at him. “Face it, Gordon; I’m not going to be your conquest. It’s been fun, I’ll admit. You’ve made my stay in London quite riveting. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of memories to take back to New York with me. But it ends now – and I’m not going to change my mind. Our little escapade is over.”

Chapter Seventeen

Telling him had been hard enough. But to actually carry out her decision to the letter – it was almost killing her.

She knew she should count herself lucky. Look how close she’d been to making a fool of herself. That went to show how little she really knew about love, or relationships. Maybe she should stay out of them both till she knew what she was doing.

She missed him; everything about him. It had been brief but he’d touched a chord within her and brought her to life. The laughter they’d shared, the intimacy, had been the kind she’d never dreamed of finding. But which part had been a fantasy, and which part had been reality? Victoria told herself she’d been in love – but maybe it was just the idea of being in love that had appealed so much to her.

It was true; she’d so much wanted to be in love. To find that elusive, special Love between a man and woman that could make the sex and passion worthwhile. But now it was all ashes – and she wanted to go home.

***

The house…was beautiful. The renovations were finally finished, inside and out, and she couldn’t deny that everything was perfect. Like she’d told Jeff, no one could look at the house and not love it. It would be the perfect home to the right person, or the right family.