Love and Decay (26 page)

“What do you mean?”

His voice held a smile I couldn’t make out in
the dark. “You’re the official face of the Resistance, Page. We’ve
managed to stay hidden for a decade and on your first day you
walked right out in the middle of the day and gave a big middle
finger to the Colony.”

I was speechless. I was actually speechless.
My mouth opened and closed, but I couldn’t force words out. I
couldn’t even make sounds.

Luke’s voice was a low chuckle when he said,
“And here I thought you were nothing but a spoiled princess. You
have defied all of my expectations.”

Warmth crept through me, settling some of my
nerves, but inciting entirely different ones. “You’re not really
what I expected either.”

His voice and tone softened when he leaned in
to say, “I could tell.”

“I would just like to remind you that I told
you I could take care of myself. You had absolutely nothing to
worry about.”

Luke snorted. “I have absolutely everything
to worry about. Don’t even get me started. The least of which is
you showing up with two of Matthias Allen’s children.”

Fear turned to ice in my veins. “They’re good
guys,” I quickly defended. “I swear to you on everything I am, that
they hate him as much, if not more, as we do. They want him dead. I
promise.”

He didn’t say anything for a long time. His
back settled against the wall again and he stretched out his legs
so he could cross them at the ankles. His voice dropped even lower
when he asked, “So you’re a couple with, uh, what’s his name
again?”

“Miller,” I whispered, doubting that Luke had
actually forgotten his name.

“Yeah, Miller. You’re with him?”

I shrugged, but then remembered he couldn’t
see me. “Uh, yeah, I guess.”

He laughed again and I realized that I kind
of loved making him laugh. After spending forty-eight hours with
him, I had observed that it didn’t happen very often. I liked being
the one that could make him relax a little.

“That doesn’t sound very convincing,” he
prodded. “You guess you’re a couple?”

“We are,” I said more firmly. “At least I
think we are. It’s complicated. We’re going slowly.”

“Sure, that makes sense. I mean, it’s the end
of the world. Y’all have plenty of time to figure out your feelings
for each other.”

“We don’t want to mess it up,” I retorted
hotly. “I’m pretty sure my brothers would pick him over me if
things went bad between us.”

“Ha!” Luke laughed loudly. “I can guarantee
they’re not going to pick the man who broke your heart. You can’t
be serious.”

“Well, I was exaggerating a little bit, but
still… My family will never give up Miller. No matter what happens
between him and me. So I’m just trying to make this as smooth as
possible.”

“She risks everything to save a complete
stranger, but she wants love to be easy.” He turned to me again.
“You’re a puzzle, Page Parker. A puzzle I didn’t expect.”

A sharp fluttering flashed through my belly.
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

He turned to face me again. “Well, rotted
teeth would certainly have helped.”

“Helped what?” My voice was barely a whisper.
I didn’t know what Luke was talking about or if I should even be
engaging this conversation. Instinct told me to run.

And intuition told me to wait.

“Get some sleep,” he said instead. “I’ll keep
watch for now.”

“I won’t be able-”

“Try,” he insisted. “I’ll wake you the second
the wind blows the wrong way.”

“Do that,” I ordered. “I’ll be ready.”

His soft murmur of, “I know that you will
be,” followed me as I closed my eyes and gave into the oppressive
exhaustion now that my adrenaline had fizzled out.

I didn’t know if we would make it to morning.
And if we did, I didn’t know if we’d make it back to the car.

But those felt like small problems compared
to the bigger battle if we did make it home.

Those felt like the least of my problems with
the Colony.

And the Zombie infestation.

And this boy Luke that I knew nothing about.
And at the same time… everything.

Episode Eight

Chapter One

Harrison Parker

“Dude, you’re staring.”

I tried to look at King, but I couldn’t tear
my eyes from the disgusting scene in front of me. “Huh?”

“You’re staring,” he repeated. “You look like
a creeper.”

His words bounced around in my head like a
pinball, but that’s all they did. I barely understood them.
“Huh?”

“Harrison, you’re killing me,” he groaned.
“Diego’s going to shiv you tonight and I’m going to feel
so
guilty. Everyone will blame me. It will be this big thing. And I’ll
have to deal with all the aftermath while you get to be dead. Can
you just pretend like you’re not hung up on this girl for five
freaking seconds?”

His words finally penetrated. “I’m going to
shiv
you
, asshole. You don’t know what you’re talking
about.” I pushed up off my knees until I was sitting straight and
turned to Joss, knowing what King’s expression would look like and
wanting to avoid that whole judgment-fest forever. “Can you believe
him?”

She tried to hide her smile. “I know, right?
He’s obviously talking out of his ass.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at Joss’s sense of
humor. The girl was so cool. King had gotten beyond lucky. I knew
they weren’t vow crazy like our other brothers, but he was gone for
her.

Thanks to me.

For backing off when clearly I’d had
opportunity to sweep in.

The assumption being that she obviously would
have chosen me.

Not that I would do that to my little
brother. But, I
had
generously stepped out of the way. And I
wanted credit for that.

Joss’s fingers curled in King’s hair and his
eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head. He was so whipped.

I was embarrassed for him.

“You’re pathetic,” King added. “You know
she’s going home with him unless you do something to stop her.”

Acid bubbled like a volcano inside me, but I
played it cool. “What are you talking about?”

King slid forward and Joss’s hand slid to his
back. Did they always have to be touching? “Adela,” he mumbled,
barely moving his lips. “Diego’s going to take her back with him
unless… unless she’s persuaded to stay.”

I leaned forward too, not bothering to drop
my voice. “Adela can do whatever the hell she wants. She’s a grown
woman. She can make her own grownup decisions.”

My voice carried across the wide room. I
swear it even echoed. It was like I’d shouted the damn thing.
Regret curdled inside me as potently as did the anger bubbling like
lava. My wish was to close my eyes and hide from the world, but I
didn’t let myself.

I couldn’t even admit the truth to King.

He shook his head at me disgustingly and
jumped to his feet. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

“Whatever, King. Let it go.”

He leaned forward and got in my face. “Except
I’m the one that has to watch… this.” His hand swooped, indicating
all of me, I guessed. “And it’s painful man. It’s not cool.”

“I’m going to say this one more time; you
don’t know what you’re talking about, little brother. Let it
go.”

“Yeah, fine. I’m letting it go.” He turned
around and walked away. I watched him move over to Hendrix and
Nelson who were keeping vigil near the back door. Neither had moved
in hours. King needed something to do. It seemed worrying about my
little sister would at least, hopefully, get him out of my business
for a while.

A buzz of electricity zipped down my spine. I
didn’t have to look at her to know she was looking at me.

I felt the heat of her gaze. The fire that
burned inside her.

I felt every inch of space between us.

Every breath that separated us.

Every atom and electron and charged
molecule.

Every mile that stood between us.

Every wall.

Every cruel word.

Every stupid decision.

Every-

“You’re kind of pigheaded, you know
that?”

I looked up at Joss and shot her a grin. “Ah,
now I know what King sees in you. You’ve got a way with words.”

She wrinkled her nose at me and gazed across
the room to where King was in deep discussion with my brothers.
“You guys are so different for being brothers.”

I shrugged and stared at my shoes. I had to
or I would look at her. I would turn and meet her gaze and
lose.

And this was a game I had gotten very good at
winning.

“King says you’re in love with her.”

Joss’s words were like a punch in the face. I
nearly fell out of my chair.

Adela turned away. She removed her focus from
me and gave it back to Diego- where it belonged. I felt it happen.
It was like pressure lifting off my chest and air being put back
into my lungs.

“I’m not,” I sighed. Joss wasn’t subtle with
her surprise. She assumed I would deny knowing what she was talking
about, just like I did with my brothers. But I was tired of playing
dumb.

I was tired of this game. It had dragged on
way too goddamn long.

And now it was almost over.

This time I gave my eyelids permission to
close. Because it was out of relief. Not regret. It was out of
anticipation.

Not humiliation.

The fear pushing at my pulse called me a
liar, but denial had been my friend for a good long decade now.

Joss snorted and said, “You kind of seem like
you are.”

When I lifted my gaze to meet hers I peeled
back the wall I’d built and the layer upon layer of self-defense
I’d learned over the years. “This looks like love to you?”

She flinched. I wasn’t sure what she saw or
what I looked like. I might have been a monster in that moment-
ugly, torn to shreds and scarred over every inch of my skin.

That was how I pictured myself when it came
to Adela anyway.

When Joss didn’t have an answer, I laughed
and it sounded bitter… defeated. “This isn’t love, Joss. Love
doesn’t look like this.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but Miller
miraculously interrupted. “All night,” he muttered, taking the seat
King had just vacated. “All goddamn night.” He leaned into his
hands, covering his face with them. “Your sister is trying to kill
me. She knows what she’s doing to me and she’s doing it on
purpose.”

I smiled. It was more than fantastic to see
Miller this worked up. Not that I thought it was healthy for him.
He was a few screws short of a toolbox in my expert opinion, but at
least he’d provide some entertaining distraction. “She does know
what she’s doing,” I told him. “She’s had this whole thing planned
for weeks. She told me that she wanted to see how much she could
piss you off.”

“Screw you, asshole,” Miller growled. “Your
sister’s missing. Just try to care.”

“Say it one more time,” I dared him. I moved
to the edge of my seat, my toes bouncing on the ground, readying
for a fight… praying for one. He had no idea.

He had no goddamn clue.

Miller met my gaze without flinching. “I was
out of line,” he relented. “I know you care about her. I’m
stressed. This doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

His stone cold apology did little to tame the
dragon spreading its wings and breathing fire inside me. But at the
same time, I knew him. I knew he didn’t mean it. Page hadn’t come
home last night and it was driving him crazy.

It was driving us all crazy.

He was just closer to the ledge to start
with.

I nodded at him and tried to shrug. “I’m on
edge too. We’re cool.” God, I felt bipolar. Shit, I wasn’t usually
like this. Or at least I didn’t let it slip out this often.

Joss’s calm voice split through the tension,
soothing both of our frayed tempers. “Isn’t there anything else we
can do? Can’t we go look for them? It seems so pointless to sit
here on our hands and do nothing.”

“We already went out looking for them,” I
reminded her. “It didn’t end well.”

“She’s not in that settlement,” Miller added
immediately. “Not now and not when it burned to the ground. She’s
too smart for that shit. She got out.”

Joss didn’t have to speak for me to read her
mind. I had the same thoughts. There were no guarantees in this
ugly world we lived in. There were no positives or absolutes or
assurances.

And this was my little sister.

The risk had never been greater.

So I chose to let Miller have his delusions
and believe them right along with him.

My attention returned to long black hair and
longer legs. Distraction.

She was a distraction. A bad one at that.

I had more important things to worry about
than whatever that woman wanted to do with her life.

“I’m going for a walk.” I jumped to my
feet.

Miller threw his hands out to the side. “I
came over here for sympathy!”

“Joss will give it to you,” I promised him
while ignoring her look of sheer panic. “She has nothing better to
do.”

I patted Miller on the back and moved toward
the back of the old Wal-Mart. This place was such a dump. Page had
promised guts and glory and so far the only action I’d seen was
fighting the puke-reaction I felt every time I used the “bathroom”
out back.

I missed the research station.

And Colombia.

And simpler apocalyptic times.

Santi stepped in my path. “Hey, Parker,
where’s your sister?”

I ran a hand down my face. I had zero
patience for this guy. “You should go look for her. See if you can
find her.”

His eyes narrowed. The insult was two-fold,
but I wasn’t sure if he’d caught the subtlety of it.

He knew I was calling him out, but he didn’t
know why. Which was, firstly, ever since we’d started this trip
he’d gotten lazy. I’d always gotten the creeper vibe from him, but
now he wasn’t pulling his weight around camp. And that pissed me
off. Secondly, he didn’t know the area, so if he went out looking
for Page, he’d most likely run into trouble he couldn’t return
from.