Love and Decay (13 page)

Although it had been a very nice side
effect.

No. Miller had needed to show Santi exactly
who was in charge.

So, I took a breath and made him say it. “Do
you mean that? Or is this all a show for Santi’s sake?”

His jaw clenched with frustration. “This has
nothing to do with Santi.”

I raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “Don’t lie
to me now, Miller. Not after what just happened between us.”

He didn’t lose any of his intensity. “And
what was that, Page? What happened between us?”

I bit down hard on my lip, hating that he
wanted me to say it.

He leaned in, threatening me with his size
and alarming aura. “Say it.”

“The physical stuff, Miller? What do you
think?”

He stayed close, hovering over me. Half of me
wanted to push him, the other half wanted to kiss him again, hoping
we could go back to that place where we communicated so easily.

His tone left room for zero disagreement. “It
wasn’t just physical. You know that.”

My heart thumped in my chest. “I do know
that.”

“Good.” He pulled back.

Frustration boiled through me. He’d gotten
exactly what he wanted out of me, but I had nothing from him. He’d
twisted this into something that he needed without giving up
anything himself.

“I need you to promise me that you’ll leave
Santi alone in the future.”

He didn’t hesitate. “No.”

I held up a fist, pointing one threatening
finger at him. “Don’t fight with me about this. I don’t have time
to worry about you brawling with Santi. We have bigger things to
worry about.”

“You don’t have time for it?” he chuckled,
low and dark.

“Or energy.” I narrowed my eyes on him. “I
mean it, Miller. You already won. You got what you wanted. Leave
him alone to lick his wounds.”

He stood up to his full height and crossed
his arms over his chest. I missed his warmth immediately and I
hated myself for it. I was trying to be tough and to stay strong
and yet, the minute I wasn’t touching him, I was willing to give
in?

No. That wasn’t me. I was stronger than these
feelings… than these… desires.

I was stronger than Miller’s
stubbornness.

“I don’t trust him, Page.”

My lips twitched, but I held my smile back.
“That’s not what I asked. I didn’t say you had to trust him or be
friends with him or hold hands with him. I’m just asking you to
leave him alone. Let him be. And let whatever you think happened
between him and me be, too. It’s over. I’m with… we’re doing this
now. It’s just you and me.” His dark eyes sparked with fire. I
wagged my finger, refusing to let him get distracted. “And I feel
the need to remind you that there was hardly anything there with
Santi anyway! So no more fisticuffs, yeah?”

A slow, satisfied smile spread over his
mouth. “Yeah, alright. No more fisticuffs.”

“You really don’t trust Santi?”

“Not for a second.”

“What do you think he’s going to do? I mean…
he gave up Colombia for us.”

Miller shook his head, his expression going
serious again. “I don’t know honestly. But I’ve never trusted him.
He’s always had ulterior motives with us, but I’ve never been able
to figure them out. I used to think he wanted to use us for our
resources and weapons. But clearly that isn’t the case. I just
can’t shake the feeling that he’s up to something.”

Miller was completely serious. But his
concerns sounded so ridiculous. Santi wasn’t the tamest of
creatures, but he was relatively harmless comparatively.

“We’ve known him for ten years!”

“And that makes me even more nervous. What
could he be planning that takes this long to come to fruition.”

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “I think
you’ve let the end of the world taint your opinion of people.” I
bit back more laughter at the look he gave me.

“Oh, Page,” he sighed. “So young. So naïve.”
He pulled me against him again, as if he hated the distance as much
as I did. “Stay close to me tonight, okay? I don’t want to lose you
in the dark.”

I nodded, brushing my cheek against his
chest. “I was planning on it.”

“I can’t believe we’re finally here,” he
murmured. “I didn’t think it would ever really happen.”

His heart sped up beneath my cheek. His
embrace tightened noticeably. “I’m sorry I’m making you go back
there,” I whispered.

“Don’t be,” he said immediately. “I… I need
this. I need to face him. I need to prove to myself that I’m not
just like him.”

“How can you even think that? Matthias is a
monster. You’re amazing. You’re nothing like him.”

He let out a weighted sigh. “Maybe.”

I decided not to argue with him. He wouldn’t
believe me no matter how long I tried to convince him he wasn’t his
father. Miller would have to see it. And by tomorrow, we would be
well entrenched in the Colony.

I had to believe that once we saw everything
first hand and up close that he would have to believe me. My hope
was that he couldn’t help but see every single difference between
himself and his dictator father.

So I didn’t push him. I let it drop and asked
him, “How long will it take to get to Luke’s once we’re over the
fence?”

“A month. If we’re lucky. We just have to go
straight north. As long as we can avoid the Colony and hordes, we
should make it there within the next few weeks.”

“And then it really begins.”

He pulled back so I could see the small tilt
of his crooked smile and the heat in his dark eyes. “I’m pretty
sure it began a long time ago, Page Parker. When one, devoted
family decided to stand up to the evil tyrant. This is a war we’ve
been fighting for a very long time. Maybe we took a physical break,
but nobody has stopped fighting this battle the entire time we’ve
been away.”

I chewed my lip and tried to decide what to
say. He was right. We’d all worn scars and chains given to us by
the Colony and specifically Matthias Allen since we fled the States
all those years ago.

Maybe our battles all appeared different, but
we were all affected… we were all a tragedy in the violent history
of the Colony’s inception.

I leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to
the corner of Miller’s mouth. “Thank you for coming with me.”

He held me there, saying a thousand things
without using a single word. Finally, he whispered, “Thank you for
making me finish this.”

When we walked out of the church an hour
later, after we’d talked and kissed some more and kissed more after
that, the sun was just starting to lower on the horizon. It burned
brightly orange while pastel clouds gathered all around.

It would be time soon.

I would be back in the United States
soon.

I didn’t know what to expect or how I would
accomplish this mission I’d declared I had to finish. But I did
know that Miller would be at my side the entire time. I did know
that he wouldn’t let me go… that he would protect me and stand by
me and fight with me.

This was his battle as much as it was mine.
Together we would put an end to Matthias Allen and all the evil
plans he’d hatched up in the ten years we’d allowed him to roam
free.

Together we would rebuild the States and a
country that needed justice… liberty… and freedom for all.

Chapter Three

The sun set and darkness descended, thick and
inky. Stars sparkled overhead, but they seemed abnormally distant
tonight. As if they were already retreating from the war waiting
for us on the other side of the battle.

A fence had been erected at one point,
running as far to the east and west as we could see. Maybe at one
point it had served a purpose, but after time, weather and a zombie
apocalypse, it stood a shadow of its former glory. The rusted metal
panels, the seams that were split in more than once place, and
sections knocked over completely verified the turmoil the structure
had experienced.

It didn’t take much for us to cross the
border.

The first time we crossed into Mexico, we had
driven. The highway had taken us through abandoned checkpoints and
kept us in a more civilized part of the world.

Now, on the way back, we crossed over on
foot. Diego had left his trucks behind out of necessity for his
people and our desire to stay discreet. This far from the highway,
the land was overgrown with struggling grasses and tangled weeds.
More barrenness.

Luke’s base was located farther north, nearer
to the middle of the country. My brothers reminded me that it was
greener up there. We would have all four seasons again.

And for all of my imaginings that we would
have to climb over an imposing wall, we crossed the border in a
gaping hole, that had been pried open. As one of the first ones
across and as I waited for my family and everyone else that
traveled with us to join me on the other side, I felt a trill of
energy race down my spine.

Logically, I knew I couldn’t tell the
difference between outside of the States and inside them.
Geographically there was hardly a difference, except for what had
been a line on a map. And yet my body tingled with new energy and
electricity buzzed in my veins.

The ground felt different beneath my feet,
more alive somehow. More firm.

My lungs expanded with breath and it, too,
felt
more
than what I’d been breathing just minutes before.
It was like I had been a space explorer checking out a planet
similar to earth. I could breathe the air, but it wasn’t the right
air… it didn’t fill me quite like it was supposed to… it didn’t
taste exactly right. There had been something off… something
different.

But I didn’t notice it until I returned to
earth. And with my first breath of pure, clean oxygen I felt
completely alive again.

I felt that now. I felt completely whole.
Completely right.

This was the moment I had been waiting for as
long as I could remember. This was what I’d sacrificed and fought
and argued for.

This was what I was meant for.

This was what I had been born for.

I tilted my head toward the milky moon,
searching for the distant light I knew I wouldn’t feel. The night
breeze danced over my skin, singing familiar songs and welcoming me
home.

I needed a minute to believe this was
actually happening… that I’d actually made it back home.

Home.

My fingers prickled at the thought. I was
home again.

An arm slid around my shoulders and I didn’t
have to open my eyes to know it was Nelson. I did open them though,
surveying the blackness with him. King came to stand on my other
side and Harrison on his other side. I could sense Hendrix behind
me.

“You might have been right, little sister,”
Nelson admitted. “There is something about being back here that
feels good.”

I smiled in awe that they had felt it
too.

Haley slipped her arm around Nelson’s middle
and hummed her agreement.

“I didn’t know it would be like this,” Reagan
said from behind me. “I didn’t know it would feel like this. Isn’t
that funny? We’ve walked ten feet. Nothing has really changed.”

“Except everything has,” King added.

And he was right.

We fell silent again, standing together as a
family… as a solidified unit. We drank in this familiar and not
familiar land. I had never been to this particular part of Texas
before and yet everything about it felt familiar.

Everything about being on this side of the
border was exactly how it should be.

“I feel like I should drop to my knees and
kiss the ground,” Harrison laughed. “But I’ll probably end up
getting shanked in the kidneys and dragged back to Mexico.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. That was the most
absurd thought I’d ever heard spoken out loud.

“By whom?” King demanded. “Who would possibly
want you back there?”

Harrison snorted, “Who wouldn’t want me back
there?”

“Stevie!” Haley cried. “Stay close.”

And just like that the magic was broken.
Well, not all of it. But the moment was gone. We were ready to walk
on and find out what else there was to America.

What else we’d been missing.

My family spread apart, keeping a close eye
on the children while we stumbled around in the dark. Miller sidled
up against me, slipping his hand into mine. I looked up to his
shadowed face and smiled.

After crossing the border an unexplainable
peace enveloped me. It felt so good to be back here and brought a
much needed confidence too.

This had been the right decision.

We had done the right thing.

And so we started the last leg of our
journey- the most crucial part.

After walking for what seemed like hours,
Miller’s shoulders sagged and I watched him yawn out of the corner
of my eye. He shook his entire body, working to wake it up. We’d
been awake all day and we’d walked for a good majority of the
night.

We were all tired, but we had planned to walk
for as long as we could. The children would eventually need to
sleep and so would we. We just didn’t know where.

There were too many unknowns on this side of
the border. Our intel had told us that Matthias and the Colony had
claimed everything east of the Rockies from North Dakota to Texas
and as far east as Illinois, Tennessee and Mississippi. Basically
everything in the middle of the former United States. Everyone
protected by the Rockies was left to settle themselves. And
everything east of Matthias’s border was thought to be completely
ravaged by Feeders.

So, technically, we’d already penetrated the
Colony.

Now we just had to keep from getting
caught.

Exhaustion flooded me, too, as I admitted the
very long walk we had ahead of us. We’d already walked across South
America and now it looked like we’d be walking across North America
as well. At least for a while.