Living a Lie (17 page)

“You were wise not to tell,” he murmured hoarsely.

“Do you know how much I loathe your being here, in this house, at my table?” He squeezed his fingers and the pain was excruciating.

“I want you out, and I’ll do anything^.”

Kitty put up her hands and tried desperately to pull him away. The more she tugged, the tighter his grip became. He peered into her face, forcing her head up and back. His eyes were wild, burning with hatred.

In that moment she believed he would kill her.

“I’ve always liked your name though.” And he laughed.

“Kitty… kitten. Suits you.” Reaching over her, he poured a saucer of milk.

Taking the saucer in one hand and still holding her in a vice-like grip, he jerked her from the stool and threw her to her knees. Putting the saucer in front of her he urged in an insane voice, “Lap it up, kitten!” Pressing her down, he forced her face into the milk. When she closed her mouth and turned her head, he knelt on her back, pushing her down until she had no choice but to let the milk flow over her nose and mouth.

“Lap it up!” he ordered. Again and again he pressed her down, until she realised he would only let her go if she did as she was told.

Choking on every mouthful, she lapped it up. When it was all gone, he released her and fell about laughing.

“That was worth watching,” he cried, pointing at her with a trembling finger.

Catching her breath, Kitty leaped at him. With a strength she didn’t know she had, she wrestled him to the floor and punched at him with clenched fists. His nose burst open like a fountain when she grabbed the flex of the toaster and pulled it down on his head. When her rage was satisfied, she ran up the stairs to her bedroom and locked the door. She could hear his laughter and it turned her heart over. For a full hour she stood behind the door with a paperweight in her fist. He didn’t follow her. He had other plans.

When his parents arrived home, Adam was waiting, bloodied and broken.

“She did this,” he said.

“She’s gone mad.”

Raymond believed there was more to it than that, Patricia was beside herself, and Kitty was brought to account for what she had done. She could have told the truth. She could have said it was Adam who’d attacked her. She might have revealed how it all really began last Friday, when Raymond was entertaining his lover. But he silently pleaded with his eyes and she could not bring herself to betray him.

Early on Sunday morning. Kitty was returned to the home in disgrace.

Miss Davis gave her a lecture, saying how fortunate she was that charges of assault had not been brought against her. She remarked on the charity of the Connor family, and sent her away to think about what she had done. When Kitty went out of the room. Miss Davis opened the official ledger. She was angry and confused, reluctant to believe Kitty was capable of what they had described. But in her job you must never allow your heart to rule your head. The entry was made: “KITTY MARSH. Must be watched. A danger to others.”

Later everyone attended church. Kitty was made to stand at the back.

She looked up at the crucifix with tears in her eyes.

“You know the truth,” she whispered. Just now, it was all that mattered.

Georgie was coming to the end of her journey.

“All right! All right!

You don’t have to push. ” Clutching her belongings, she stumbled out of the van and into the yard. There was fencing all around, with tall iron gates to keep intruders out and the inmates in.

The officer in charge of the new arrivals sighed. Georgie was only two years older than her own wayward daughter. She had only just discovered the girl was into drugs, and thieving, and mixing with a bad lot. Nothing she said or did made any difference. Now, after too many sleepless nights, her work was suffering. She was touchy, short-tempered, and couldn’t bring herself to confide in her coll52

leagues. They wouldn’t understand. They had husbands while she had no one, and now she was at the end of her tether. Georgie only reminded her how easy it would be for her daughter to end up being put in a borstal institution, like this one at Aylesbury.

“I’m not pushing,” she said, doing her best to be patient.

“If you moved a bit quicker we could all get on with what we have to do.” In fact, during the journey from Bedford court, she had taken a liking to Georgie.

“Do as you’re told in here,” she advised in a whisper as they walked into the reception area.

“And you’ll come to no harm.”

“And if I don’t do as I’m told?” Impatient with everyone and angry with herself for getting involved in a burglary, Georgie was already missing Mac. He had been on the run for two days before the police finally caught him. Now he too was on his way to prison.

A burly warden stared up from her desk. She asked the usual questions and entered the replies meticulously in a ledger. Then she snapped it shut and escorted Georgie into the inner cubicles. There stood another officer, tall and elegant in her uniform but with a hard resigned look on her face that came from years of dealing with offenders.

Acknowledging the other officer with a nod of the head, she then looked at Georgie.

“Strip off.” She had a surprisingly soft voice.

Looking from one to the other, Georgie drew away.

“Not bloody likely!”

she cried. Tw not stripping. ” She gave a little nervous chuckle.

“Not for you lot anyway.”

The voice remained gentle but the threat was harsh.

“You either do it yourself, or I’m afraid we’ll have to do it for you.”

“Like hell!”

It took only two minutes for the wardens to strip her. Another ten minutes to examine her all over, and another five minutes to run her under the shower. After that she was issued with a clean set of clothes and given a sheet containing the rules of the institution.

“You’re here to do as you’re told,” she was informed. Then she was marched into the office, where it was explained how she would be put to work for the duration of her two-year sentence.

“We’re not monsters here,” she was told.

“Behave yourself, work hard, and we’ll get along just fine.”

Georgie remained sullen and silent. She thought about Kitty, and felt ashamed at having gone away and lost touch.

“When can I have pen and paper?” she demanded.

“When you’ve earned it,” she was told. The interview was ended and she was sent on her way to learn a new set of rules.

“Serves you right, Georgie gal!” she muttered.

“You never learn.”

She looked forward to writing to Mac, and to Kitty. It had been many months since Kitty had gone to live with the Connors, and no doubt she was doing fine.

One thing was for certain: that bugger Mac might let her rot here but not Kitty. She would never turn her back on an old friend.

Miss Davis looked tired. Returning to work after three weeks away due to illness, she still felt in need of a month in the sun.

“You don’t realise how fortunate you are, Kitty,” she said.

“You’re young. You have your health and strength, and the looks to carry you far.” She remained at her desk. Kitty standing before her.

“You could be a model,” she said with a warm smile.

In these past months Kitty had grown into one of the loveliest creatures she had ever seen. With her long dark hair and magnificent dark eyes, she was captivating. More than that, unlike so many other young madams who had crossed the threshold in and out of this establishment, Kitty possessed no big ideas about herself, no airs or graces; indeed she seemed at times to be totally oblivious of her own beauty. That was one of the reasons Miss Davis had come to love her.

The other was Kitty’s warm and generous nature.

“I’m too short.”

Taken by surprise. Miss Davis shook herself alert.

“Sorry, dear. What did you say?”

Kitty smiled. She was used to Miss Davis’s mind wandering off. She supposed it was the illness or creeping old age.

“You said I could be a model,” she reminded her.

“Even if I wanted to, which I don’t, I couldn’t because I’m too short.”

Miss Davis shook her head.

“Not ” short”, my dear. The word is petite.

You are petite. ” In fact Kitty was like a little doll, small and shapely. She was also big-hearted and had the kind of personality that brightened a room whenever she walked in. Suddenly Miss Davis found herself regretting the great hulk she was. Unmarried and glad to be so, she’d never envied those who had tied the knot especially when she had to deal with the likes of the Connors, who had lied through their teeth about the incident concerning Kitty and their obnoxious son.

Kitty had never revealed the truth but it was painfully obvious what had happened there. It was also obvious that theirs was a very unhappy marriage. As for Kitty’s Aunt Mildred, who only lately had begun to write to her niece, she too was having marital problems.

“I’m glad your aunt has written to you. Kitty. I’m really sorry she’s been so ill.”

Kitty found it easy to talk to Miss Davis. She was a kind understanding soul who genuinely loved the children in her care.

“There was something else in the letter,” she confessed.

“Aunt Mildred wants me to visit her. I thought I might go on Saturday, if that’s all right?” She didn’t reveal there was a certain undercurrent in Mildred’s letter that had made her uneasy.

Miss Davis couldn’t hide her delight.

“Why, that’s wonderful, Kitty!”

Struggling out of her chair she came round to put her hands on Kitty’s shoulders.

“It’s not August yet,

so you still have five weeks of the summer holidays left. Maybe she has something planned . a family outing or a treat? You can’t know how pleased I am that she wants to see you. It’s long been a thorn in my side that your father’s sister turned her back on you. ” Her old eyes were moist.

“Do you think she wants you to live with them?” If she did it wouldn’t be before time.

Kitty had a long memory. She recalled the argument between her father and Mildred soon after her mother’s funeral. She remembered the things her aunt had said . how she would not look after Kitty, and how the girl was not her responsibility. In her mind Kitty relived the talk Mildred had given her while she sat desolate on the stairs.

“I can’t have you,” she’d said.

“I have enough problems of my own.” Loath to hold grudges she had always given Mildred the benefit of the doubt, but after all this time her heart still ached when she remembered how her aunt had abandoned her to a children’s home. She could never do what Mildred had done. However difficult the circumstances, she could never have rejected her own brother’s child.

“You have no idea what your aunt wants?”

“She didn’t say … only that it was important.”

“Hmh!” Miss Davis knew the house and business had been sold a long time back.

“Perhaps it’s to do with your father’s properties?”

“I don’t know.” Money was never uppermost in Kitty’s mind. She left Mildred to take care of all that.

“Sit down, child.” Miss Davis waited for Kitty to be seated. Easing her own large frame down again, she bit her lip and wondered how she might put Kitty on her guard without alarming her.

“Would you like someone to come with you on Saturday?”

“That’s very kind, but no.” Kitty hated to be treated like a child.

“I’d rather go on my own.” She saw a flicker of anxiety in the woman’s face.

“Why? Is there something wrong?”

Miss Davis rolled her eyes and laughed a little.

“Of course not! It’s just that you haven’t seen your aunt in a long while. I thought you might like some company, that’s all.” She couldn’t voice her suspicions, but felt it only right to warn Kitty.

“I’m here to help and advise if you need me … I mean, if your aunt asks you to agree to anything.”

In fact she was echoing Kitty’s own thoughts.

“I won’t do anything at all without talking to you first.” Georgie had already said she thought Mildred was robbing Kitty blind.

Miss Davis gave a sigh of relief.

“That’s good.” Afraid she might have planted a germ of suspicion in Kitty’s mind, she exclaimed, “But, I’m not saying she would ask you to do anything untoward.”

Kitty reassured her, “I know that.”

Suddenly the smile slid from Miss Davis’s face.

“I have something to tell you. Kitty. It is hard but must be said. Two things in fact.”

Kitty had that same awful feeling in the pit of her stomach that she had had when Harry walked away.

“Concerning me?” she asked apprehensively.

“Concerning us both.”

“Is it to do with my being fostered out?” The last couple who had spoken with her seemed very keen. Kitty had been fearing they might apply for custody.

“Can’t I stay here until I’m sixteen?”

“You know it doesn’t work like that, Kitty. We are duty bound to find you a suitable set of foster parents, and a secure family home. It’s a good policy, even though things do tend to go wrong occasionally.” She pulled a wry little face.

“You seem to have been particularly unlucky so far.” Her instincts told her the present couple were not suitable for Kitty, but their credentials were perfect and nothing had been uncovered to discredit their application. She told Kitty as much.

“They do seem able to give you a good home,” she said.

“But it may not come to that.” Her eyes crinkled into a smile as she said more cheerily, “Who knows? Your Aunt Mildred may be about to offer you a home with her.”

“I doubt that.” Even if she did, Kitty still had few inclinations to live with her; though if it meant avoiding being fostered out again, she might be tempted.

“When will I know if I’m to be fostered out?”

“The decision will be made very soon.” More than anyone Miss Davis knew how Kitty had been shifted from pillar to post, and her heart went out to her.

“You’ve had some very bad experiences, Kitty,” she acknowledged.

“That’s why this time the couple are being put under the microscope.”

Kitty merely nodded. Since being returned by the Con nors, she had been to two other sets of foster parents, and each time the consequences had been disastrous. First there was the middle-aged family who already had three children of their own; they saw Kitty as their own personal contribution to society and treated her as a piece of propaganda rather than a person. After she refused to be paraded before everyone at a fund-raising garden party, Kitty was smartly returned to the home.