Letting Go (5 page)

His heart slammed against his chest. It never occurred to him that Quinn might cry over
him
. The realization sent a flood of mixed-emotions through him. He felt elated and surprised that she cared that much about him—in
that
way at least. Yet, he hated to see her hurting for any reason. He wanted her to feel better so he said, “But now we might.”

She let out a happy sigh
that ensured his pulse wouldn’t slow anytime soon. “I sure hope so.”

He leaned toward her, his hands sliding from hers. He cupped her
cheeks in his palms as he looked into the green eyes he knew so well.

“I want to kiss you so badly right now,” he said.
Color flooded her cheeks but she didn’t look away.

Her hands went to his wrists.
She didn’t push his hands aside. “But you can’t.”

He shook his head. “No. If we’re going to start something, we’re going to start it out the right way.”

She nodded and he pulled her in, not able to resist leaving a kiss on her forehead. She closed her eyes and breathed him in. For the first time in over a year, her heart swelled with hope for the future.

“Would it be
okay if I stayed with you for awhile?” he asked.

She nodded. “Yes, I’d like that.”

Luke picked out a movie, one that was a favorite from their high school days. He sprawled out on the couch and Quinn joined him. He pulled her in so that her back was firmly against his chest. He knew he was walking a fine line between right and wrong—since Ashley was still officially in his life—but he pushed the thought away as he curled his arm around her.

Her body felt so small and fragile against his. She’d lost a lot of weight after Jake’s death and she hadn’t gained it back. Still, she felt so completely sexy and feminine. She let out a content sigh as she relaxed against him.

He’d give just about anything to kiss her in that moment. But he couldn’t. So he tightened his arm around her, settling for holding her, which was the next best thing.

4

“Dad, you’ll keep an eye on Carter for a few minutes, won’t you?” Carly asked.

Quinn was sitting on the floor next to him, keeping him entertained with a pile of toys. He was talking to the stack of building blocks before him. Every time Quinn would stack them up, Carter would knock them down and laugh. Then he’d look at his mommy expectantly, waiting for her to stack them once more so he could continue with his favorite game.

Before Quinn could ask Carly why their dad needed to watch Carter,
Pete agreed.

“Come with me,” Carly said. She grabbed Quinn by her elbow and tugged her to her feet. “Mom we’ll be right back!” Carly called over her shoulder to Margo, who was in the kitchen.
The aroma of their Sunday dinner filled the house.

Quinn laughed as Carly towed her up the steps. “What’s going on?”

Carly didn’t answer until she swung Quinn into her room. She shut the door and crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes were narrowed as she eyed Quinn up. “I think I should be asking you that. What’s going on, big sister?”

Quinn feigned innocence. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Carly stomped her foot, causing her strawberry blond ponytail to bounce across her back. “Don’t you dare try to pull that with me. I don’t buy it for a second. You look…” She hesitated. “You’ve had this
dreamy
look on your face since the minute you walked in the front door.”

A traitorous smile appeared on Quinn’s face. She didn’t bother to try to chase it away.

Carly let out a squeal as she bounced toward Quinn. “Is it Luke?! Oh, Quinnie! Please, please tell me it’s Luke!”

Quinn bit her lip and crinkled up her face in indecision. Carly stared at her impatiently. Finally, Quinn nodded. “It is Luke.”

Carly squealed again, just like she used to do when they were in high school. Then she threw her arms around Quinn. She knew as well as anyone how devastated Quinn had been after Jake’s death. She had feared that Quinn was stubborn enough that she would refuse to move on. The other night, when Carly had brought it up, she’d only hoped to plant the idea in Quinn’s head. She hadn’t dared hope that Quinn would be so receptive to the idea so soon.

“So tell me, what happened,” Carly asked.
Her eyes were wide, curious, and her grin was enormous. She tugged Quinn over to the bed.

They’d had countless life changing conversations on the edge of either Quinn or Carly’s beds. Carly had a feeling this was going to be another one.

“Don’t get too excited,” Quinn chastised as she flopped down next to Carly. “Nothing really happened.” She continued on, telling Carly everything. She started with how hard it had been to get up the courage to ask Luke on a date. She admitted how crushed she’d felt when he’d turned her down. She ended her explanation with Luke leaving shortly after midnight, but only after pulling her into another huge hug.

“I knew it,” Carly said smugly. “I knew it was finally time for you and Luke. You should’ve just kissed that man!”

Quinn shook her head. “No, didn’t you hear me? He’s seeing someone. I respect that he wants to end things with her first. He should. I mean, we’ve waited this long. What’s one more week?”

Carly arched her eyebrow. “One more week?”

“Well,” Quinn said with a grimace, “he’s ending things with Ashley today. He asked if he could come over after but,” she said with a small shrug, “I just didn’t feel right about that. I know it’s silly, but I feel like there should be at least a little time between their break-up and us seeing each other. He’s actually leaving tomorrow morning. They have an out of town job and he’s head of the crew so I won’t see him at all until Friday. That’s when we’ll be going on our first official date.”

A melancholy look
floated across her features and settled in. She averted her eyes from Carly, dropping them to the floor.

“I know,” Carly said sympathetically, easily guessing what Quinn was thinking. “It’s a big step. It’s a huge step. But you’re ready for it. He is too.”

Quinn pulled her eyes back up to Carly. “Thanks.”

“You deserve this Quinn. You’ve been through hell.
No one our age should have to go through what you’ve been through. You deserve some happiness. I know that Luke is the one that can give you that,” Carly said firmly.

Quinn hoped so, but she didn’t dare say it.

“So, now on to the important stuff. Which one of those fabulous new outfits are you going to wear?”

~*~*~

A few days later, Carter was taking his afternoon nap. Quinn finally found the time to put all of her new purchases away. While she was at it, she was sorting through things to get rid of. Carly had been right. It had been a long while since she’d purchased anything new. She was sorting, trying to decide what to donate and what was beyond donation quality.

She shook her head slightly, realizing for the first time what a haze the last year had been. If not for Carter, she felt she would not have fared the last year so well. He was a blessing in every way. He helped her to make it through every single day. Yet, just thinking of him brought her heartache, too. She wished Jake had been able to see his son. There wasn’t a day that passed that she didn’t wish that Carter could’ve known his daddy.

She stood there, staring at all of the extra closet space. Months ago, with Carly’s help, she had finally managed to force herself to clean out Jake’s side of the closet. She’d cleaned out his dresser as well. Now, his dresser stood entirely empty and even with her new purchases, the master closet looked far too bare.

A subtle prickle behind her eyes erupted. She was much better at pushing the tears away these days. She did that now. Carly was right. Over a year,
fourteen months
, she realized, had passed. Jake was not coming back. It was time to move on. While he would always own a piece of her heart and soul, she needed to take control of her life. Not only for herself, but for Carter as well. It wouldn’t do anyone any good to live anchored in the past.

With another sigh, she folded up the last item that she planned to donate. She closed the lid on the box and carried it to the front door. She was on her way back to the bedroom, to place the last of her new purchases in the closet when the phone rang.

She looped back around to the kitchen, to the nearest phone. A quick glance at the lit up display alerted her that it was Nora. She didn’t mean to cringe, but she did. Most often, she talked to Nora on a daily basis. She hadn’t been able to make herself call Nora the past few days. She hated to admit, even to herself, that she was procrastinating.

Quinn had no idea what Nora would think about her dating her other son. She knew she should tell her but she just didn’t know how. Instead, she’d refrained from calling her.

With a grimace, and feeling very much like a coward, she finally answered.

“Hello,” she said, trying to keep her voice neutral.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Nora responded. “I haven’t heard from you in a few days. Is everything going okay?”

“Yes,” Quinn said. “I’ve just been busy. Carter had his one year check-up yesterday. Everything was fine,” she said by way of explanation. “I’ve also been trying to do some deep cleaning around here.” It wasn’t a fib; her closet had certainly been cleaned out.

“Good. I’m glad everything is going well,” she hesitated and Quinn wasn’t sure why her heart seemed to sputter. Perhaps it was something in her tone. “I have a favor to ask of you.”

Those words were not what she was expecting.

“Of course, anything,” Quinn said as she began to wander through the kitchen.

Nora chuckled at that. “I would very much like to keep Carter overnight on Friday night.”

Quinn hesitated outside of Carter’s bedroom door. He was still snoozing, his little chest rising and falling so peacefully. She backed away before responding.

“Overnight?”

“I know you’ve never parted with him overnight before. But,” she said lightly, “he’s a year old now. Tom and I would love so much to have that much time with him.”

Quinn bit her lip
as she debated. Friday night would be perfect. It would be perfect because she was going to need to find a sitter for Carter anyway. She’d been, yet again, procrastinating. She had planned on asking her mom. That too, was something she’d been putting off. Margo would undoubtedly be happy to take him. But of course she would ask why. Quinn was not sure how well her mother would take the news that she had a date. With Luke. She wasn’t sure how well Nora would take the news, either.

Then again, perhaps Nora would take it better than Quinn could’ve imagined.

“I just thought,” Nora said hesitantly, “that Friday night would be a good night. That way, you and Luke can stay out as late as you like.”

Quinn’s heart did a quick somersault. So, Luke had confided in his mom. Now that it was out there, Quinn realized she really wasn’t surprised. Luke’s family was close. That was what she loved most about them. A small spark of relief flared to life. Since Luke had told Nora, it
saved Quinn from doing so. Furthermore, she’d been afraid of Nora’s reaction. However, not only did Nora seem calm about it but she was offering to take Carter so that the date could easily happen.

“Sweetheart, you’re being awfully quiet,” Nora said. Her voice was full of concern. “If you don’t want to give him up overnight, of course you don’t have to. It was just a thought. Tom and I would like to have him though. Unless you’ve already asked Margo to take him?”

“No, I haven’t, actually. That’s not it,” Quinn admitted. “Are you sure that you don’t mind?”

“Why would I mind?” Nora scoffed. “You know we are more than happy to take Carter anytime.”

“No, I know that. It’s just…” Quinn faded off, unable to finish her sentence.

Nora knew Quinn well. It was easy for her to guess what was bothering Quinn.

“Were you afraid we wouldn’t approve of you seeing Luke?” she asked. Her tone was calm, soothing and reassuring.

Quinn let out a pent up breath. “Yes,” she said. “No. I don’t know. Maybe?” She clearly hadn’t known what to think.

Nora sighed. “Quinn, I realize that things with Luke are complicated. They’ve always been complicated. But you have to know, both Tom and I, we only want what’s best for you. Well, you and Carter. You and Luke have a long history. Longer even than yours and Jake’s was. If you two think you want to give things a try, we would never dream of stopping you.”