Letting Go (2 page)

“That’s not true,” Quinn admonished.
“You just haven’t met the right person yet.”

Carly’s gaze flicked to the other side of the room and she sighed. Quinn was pretty sure she knew what her sister was thinking right then. Jesse was most likely on her mind. The man she loved to hate. The man who broke her heart…and she’d reciprocated the favor many times over. Quinn, personally, did not think they were a good fit. Not if they couldn’t stop hurting each other. She’d been hopeful that things would work out with Nolan, for her sister’s sake.

Carly finally returned her gaze to Quinn. She rolled her bottom lip through her teeth. Quinn was sure she knew what was coming.

“Have you seen Jesse lately?”

Quinn hesitated, took another sip of wine and then answered. “I have. In fact, I’ve seen quite a bit of him.”

Carly’s brow furrowed. “Why?”

“Well,” Quinn said, “Luke was looking for a place to stay.” After his brother’s death, Luke had come back to Lanford. He’d lived with his parents for awhile, as he tried to decide if he should stay in town or not. In the end, he’d decided to stay. His family owned McGrath Electric and with Jake gone, Luke felt he needed to come back to help his dad.

“Luke was looking for a place to stay. And…?” Carly prodded.

Quinn shrugged. “He moved in with Jesse.”

“Oh,” Carly said, taking a moment to process that. “So,” she hesitantly began, “does that mean he’s not still with Betsy? I thought they’d be living together by now.”

Quinn scrunched her face up apologetically. “He is still with Betsy. Last I heard, anyway. But no, they aren’t living together. Luke moved in last summer. I think it was supposed to be a short-term arrangement but Luke can’t find a house he likes. Jesse doesn’t seem to mind that he’s staying there.”

Carly gazed off once more and then returned her attention to her wine.

“Are you okay?” Quinn asked.

Carly returned her gaze to her sister. “I’m fine,” she said with a forced smile. She did feel as though a subject change were in order. “Just think of where you were a year ago today.”

Quinn smiled. “I was in a hospital bed, exhausted, probably with Carter snuggled into my side.”

“Probably wishing that your family would leave you alone so you could get some rest,” Carly added on.

Quinn laughed and shook her head. “No. I would never wish family away.”

“I still wish I could’ve been there with you,” Carly said. “But…I’m glad Luke was.”

“Yeah,” Quinn said, “me too. The delivery would’ve been hell without him. I was glad he stuck around after he dropped me off at the hospital.”

“Speaking of—”

Quinn started shaking her head, cutting her sister off. “Oh, no. Don’t start.”

“
Speaking of Luke
,” Carly persisted, “have the two of you come to your senses yet?”

“We’re friends,” Quinn said firmly.

“I know,” Carly agreed. “But you should be so much more. You’re just putting off the inevitable. You and Luke belong together. That’s not saying I didn’t think you and Jake were great. You were. But,” she said quietly, “he’s gone. And Luke’s here. And you two have already wasted so many years because neither of you wanted to make the first move.”

“Carly,” Quinn moaned.
Despite the fact that she knew everything Carly was saying was true, she wasn’t in the mood to discuss it.  Not tonight...possibly not ever.

“No,” Carly said, “you’re going to hear me out. You and Luke wanted each other all through high school, through the start of college. Neither of you had the balls to admit
it to the other. You know Luke still loves you. I mean, how many years did he barely speak to Jake because of it?”

“That’s really not helping your argument,” Qu
inn said. She’d hated coming between the brothers. They’d always been so close until Jake had started dating Quinn.

“Okay, fine,” Carly said with a sigh. “But my point is, you’ve grieved over Jake for a year. You can’t be alone forever. You
shouldn’t
be alone forever. Jake would not want that for you. You know I’m right.”

Quinn blinked
away tears and looked away. Yes, Carly was right. That didn’t mean that it made it any easier to think about it.

When Carly spoke again, her voice was gentle.
The last thing she wanted to do was hurt her sister. Yet some things needed to be said. And sometimes, there was not a kind way to say them. “He’s been gone well over a year, Quinn. It’s time to let go. It’s time for you to move on.”

Quinn stared at
the wine in her nearly empty glass. In her heart, she
knew
Carly was right. She finally lifted her eyes to her sister. She gave a tiny shrug. “Luke might have moved on already Carly. He said he loved me once. But he felt guilty after Jake died. He felt guilty for wanting to be with me. I don’t think he wants anything more than my friendship. Not after everything that’s happened.” She paused, thinking it all over. “Too much has happened.”

“Here’s a crazy idea,” Carly said. “Why don’t you talk to
him? I think there’s a damn good chance you’re wrong.”

2

“Son of a
b-yow
,” Carly cried, catching herself.

Quinn laughed. “Don’t glare at me! This was your idea.”

It was Saturday afternoon. Carly had awakened that morning determined to take Quinn out to do something fun. Their ideas of “fun” varied slightly.

The facial had been nice, relaxing and Quinn decided much-needed.
As was the haircut. It was only a trim. Quinn had no desire to lose her long locks. The eyebrow waxing, on the other hand, she could’ve done without.

“Apparently, I should be sure not to go so long between waxings next tim
e,” Carly grumbled. The woman tending to them smiled as she carefully dabbed some cooling cream onto the inflamed areas. She held up a mirror to Carly so that she could approve the results. Carly did, with another grumble.

“Is there anything else I can do for you ladies?”

Carly and Quinn looked at each other.

“Manicures?” Carly suggested.

Quinn shook her head. “You go ahead, if you’d like. Mine would be ruined in a day or two.” Between dishes, bathing Carter and all of her hand washing, she’d given up trying to keep her nails painted.

Carly shook her head and declined further service.
“If you don’t do it with me, it takes the fun right out of it.”

Minutes later they were walking down the sidewalk of
downtown Lanford. The sky was a steely gray. The wind was bitter and biting. Snow hadn’t made an appearance yet but they knew it would soon.

“Now what?” Quinn asked. She glanced at her watch. It wasn’t quite dinner time yet. She’d asked Nora to take Carter for the afternoon. Nora had been thrilled, as she always was, with the request. Having lost her son, she never seemed to be able to see enough of his child. “I don’t need to pick Carter up for a few more hours.”

Carly shivered against the chill as she pulled her coat around her. “We could walk through a few stores? Maybe get a head start on some Christmas shopping?”

Quinn laughed. “It’s not even Thanksgiving yet!”

Carly grinned. “I know. It’s perfect. We can beat the rush. We don’t actually have to buy anything. We can just look around, get some ideas.” She gave Quinn a pointed look. “Hang out.”

Quinn nodded her agreement. She was happy to spend the day with Carly. In a small town like Lanford, their options really were a bit limited. Carly headed straight for the first boutique on the block.

It wasn’t long before Quinn realized Carly had an ulterior motive for the impromptu shopping excursion. She began flipping through the clothing on the racks with an obvious purpose.

That purpose did not seem to have anything to do with looking for Christmas gifts.

Quinn smiled at her, assuming she knew what Carly was up to. “Okay, who is he?” Quinn asked when Carly placed a few pieces of clothing over her arm.

“What do you mean?” Carly asked.

Quinn motioned at the clothing. Every piece was cute, expensive and a little bit on the sexy side. “Who are you trying to impress?” She plucked a soft, black sweater from Carly’s growing pile. It was form fitting but cut to hang loosely off a shoulder. “This? This is definitely a date sweater. Who’s it for?” Quinn demanded.

She wasn’t the least bit surprised that her sister had apparently managed to move on from Nolan so soon. Carly wasn’t one to let a guy, any guy, keep her down for long.

Carly gave her a devious grin. “I am so glad you think so. Because, my dear sis, it’s for you.”

“Me?” Quinn asked, shocked. She tried handing the sweater back to Carly. Carly spun away from her, refusing to take it.

“Yes, you,” Carly said over her shoulder. Quinn hurried along behind her. “When is the last time you bought yourself something new? When is the last time you even went shopping?”

Quinn blinked at her but didn’t answer.
She glanced around the shop. It was surprisingly quiet, possibly because the weather had taken such a chilly turn. She was relieved that no one was close enough to listen in. She didn’t particularly want to have this conversation now. Yet, she had a feeling she wouldn’t be able to stop her sister from pushing ahead with it.

She was right.

“Exactly!” Carly said. “It’s been so long you don’t even remember. Now,” she said in her no-nonsense voice, “we are going to spend the rest of the afternoon picking out some new clothes for you. I am sure Luke has seen you in absolutely everything you own. You really, truly need a new dating wardrobe.”

“Oh, oh no,” Quinn g
rumbled. “No, Carly. I’m not…” She shook her head, unable to go on. Shopping for fun was one thing. Shopping with a date in mind…a date with
Luke
in mind, was quite another.

“Quinn,” Carly said
firmly. “You’re ready. I know you are. Now
you
just have to embrace that fact. What better way to start than by buying some new clothes? New clothes, for a new start.”

Quinn glanced at the clothes in Carly’s arms. She was torn. Until yesterday, she truly hadn’t thought about dating again. Jake was still always on her mind. Carter was so little, so busy, so demanding that he took up every second of her spare time. She was okay with that. She felt like she didn’t need more. Yet, after their talk last night, seemingly out of nowhere, Luke had suddenly seemed to hijack her thoughts.

Her stomach suddenly felt fluttery. She couldn’t remember the last time that had happened. She tried to ignore the feeling but it didn’t seem to want to go away.

She wasn’t quite ready to admit that to Carly yet. She was having a hard enough time getting herself used to the idea. A too-large part of her felt like it was an insult to Jake’s memory to date
anyone
, let alone his brother.

But it wasn’t as simple, as clear-cut, as black and white as that. She and Luke had a history. A longer history than she and Jake had. She felt comfortable with Luke. She loved Luke and had,
to some degree or another, loved him nearly her whole life.

The thought of dating in general sent her into a panic. But the thought of dating Luke, it didn’t seem nearly as scary as picking up things with a stranger.

“I do really adore this sweater,” she finally said. “You’re right. It has been a very long time since I shopped for anything. I just really haven’t had the need to buy anything. New clothes…well, I could use some new clothes.”

She pulled the other pieces from Carly’s arm, eyeing them up. Her sister had good taste, as she
should. She was majoring in retail management. Carly hoped to own a high-end boutique like this someday. The items she’d pulled aside would suit Quinn perfectly.

Carly smiled, trying to keep the smugness off of her face. If Quinn was willing to take small, baby steps, she would settle for that. First, they would concentrate on buying some dating outfits. Later, they’d concentrate on Quinn actually getting the date.

“You could definitely use some new clothes,” Carly agreed.

Quinn blushed as she looked down at herself. Her jeans, her favorite pair, were comfortably worn. Emphasis on
worn
. Her long-sleeve, form-fitting yet simple blue t-shirt was just one of many that cluttered her closet.

She groaned and then laughed. “I have turned into such a mom! Look at me!”