Let Me Be the One (6 page)

I felt like I was breathing some heady, drug-laced ox
ygen.  I could only nod, breathless.  I put my hands on his hips and drew him closer into me.

He quietly hissed, “Aw fuck, Darcy”, as he ground his hips into me and then put his mouth on mine.  I loved the way he kissed me.  His lips were so soft and he kissed me like he was simultaneously worshipping me and consuming me.  A minute later I felt him shift so that his hips weren’t pressing into my entrance and then he whispered in between soft kisses, “Darcy, I meant what I said be
fore.  You’re special to me.  You have to know that.  We don’t have to rush this.  I can’t believe I’m saying this but I don’t
want
to rush this.”

When he moved, he left me so wanting.  I sighed and then pled, “Tom, I am ready.  I know that with
you it’s going to be so good.”

He lifted himself up and sat next to me on the bed.  I went to cover my face, totally embarrassed, but he took both of my hands in his so that I had to look at him. “Hey Darcy, look at me.  Believe me, it
will
be so good.  I can’t wait for that day.  I just want it to be different with you.”  He took a long breath like he was unsure if he should say what he was thinking, “Can I ask you something, Darcy?”

I was still a little embarrassed at the fact that I’d thrown myself at him,
twice in one night
, but I also loved what he had just said to me.  I pushed myself up and sat cross-legged on the bed facing him, still a little self-conscious, and nodded.  “Please don’t answer if you don’t want to.  Did you and Nick ever…,” he shook his head, “You know what, forget that I said anything. I shouldn’t ask you this.”

He looked surprised when I laughed.  “The answer is no but I am aware that he told
just about everyone that I was quite the sex fiend.  I’m pretty kinky from what I hear.  Jenna filled me in.  Dan knows the truth and wanted me to call him out on it but I won’t.”

Tom shook his head, “Just so you know, everyone thought he
was just talking shit anyway.”

“So then why did you ask?”

He shrugged and shook his head as he gave a half-smile. “I’m sorry.  Simple curiosity?  Jealousy?  Morbid obsession with you?  The thought of Nick lying about you, though, saying you did things that you didn’t, makes me want to beat the shit out of him.”

“I don’t feel anger.  I feel pity for
him that he’d lie about that.  It’s pathetic but I guess he wouldn’t be the first guy in history to do it.”

“You’re nicer than I am, Darcy”

“So what else do you want to know about me, Tom?”

He smiled wide, apologetic. 
“Everything.”

“Ok, well, I’m not a virgin. I didn’t mean to give you that impression.”

Another shocked expression.  He shook his head and moved in closer to me. “That’s not important, Darcy.  You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

“I’m not explaining myself.  I just want you to
know
me.  My only experience was with first boyfriend, Matt.  We were eighteen that first time and he begged me.”  I couldn’t help but giggle as I told him, “Like he was going to
die
if we didn’t have sex.  I wasn’t ready but felt kind of obligated to him because we’d been together so long.  It wasn’t great.  I did it because he needed it, not because I wanted to.  The only boyfriend I’ve had since Matt was Nick and even though he makes it seem like we were together forever, it was only four months.  And after two months I was having serious doubts about us.  So no, we didn’t.”

He lowered his head, “I’m sorry I even broug
ht it up, Darcy.”  He looked at me then with the most open and loving expression and said, “Darcy,
I
want to be the one for you.  I don’t want to scare you off but I...I feel really strongly when it comes to you.”  Tom looked pained then.  “And I want you to
know
me too, Darce, but,” he laughed half-heartedly, “I think if we talk about my past I will definitely scare you off.”

“You wouldn’t scare me off…but I r
eally don’t need to know, Tom.”

He was perfect and this was enough for now.  He pulled me into a close embrace and nestled into me. We just stayed like that for a while before he kissed me and then left and went back to his place.  My bed felt so big without him.  I knew having his arms wrapped around me all night would be the best feeling and I was
so
looking forward to that.

Tom

She was on my mind first thing in the morning.  I was going to have to take care of business in the shower or else I was going to explode. 

Today we were playing an away game in New Ham
pshire, about a two hour drive, so we were heading out early.  Chris was driving the bus filled with a mixture of the very hung over, the somewhat hung over, and me—the one not hung over guy.  I sat up front bullshitting with Chris the entire ride, as everyone else was either asleep or still somewhat drunk and talking nonsense.  Chris was in charge of the line-up so he was telling me how we matched up against the opposing team.   Chris was a house-mate of Nick’s so I couldn’t help asking, “How has Nick been doing?”

“Eerily quiet about the whole you-and-Darcy thing.  I’d keep a shiv under my matt
ress for when he comes at you.”

“I know. I feel like he’s just lurking and is going to pull a Kato-on-Clouseau ambush on me one
day soon.”

Chris laughed, “Yeah, I can picture that.”  He went on, “You’re better for her, man.  I mean, I’ve known her since freshman year but I got to know her a lot better when they were together.  Truly a nice pe
rson.  She’s a very cool girl.”

“Yeah
, I’m totally into her. “

He laughed, “Yeah, that’s fairly obvious.”  He looked like he was lost in his thoughts
momentarily before he said, “Nick just messed that up so badly.  He’s one of those people that should be forced to watch a video of their drunk-ass nonsense.  I don’t think he knows what an absolute dick he can be.”  He looked to me as if he’d just had a revelation.   “Why didn’t I ever think of taping him one of those nights I had to drag him away from her place?”

“Um, I’m guessing because you were preoccu
pied?  How bad was it?”

“Ugly.  He was a disaster, screaming and
slurring.  Then when Dan and I, or Denny and I would get there he’d start in on us—he was all, ‘Touch me and you’re dead, motherfuckers’.  I mean, he weighs like a buck-fifty soaking wet—he’s not fucking anyone up—but when he was in that crazy drunken rage, he
was
a little difficult to wrangle.”  He chuckled but then sobered and shook his head.  “There were so many times, those nights, when I just wanted to beat the crap out of him.  He said some things to her that were…” Shaking his head he went on, “Forget it, I’m gonna get you all crazy.”

“Dan filled me
in on most of it, so I know.  But now that I’m with her, knowing that he was treating her like that and saying things about her that weren’t true—it makes it hard to be in the same room with him.”

Chris looked to me for a moment with a raised ey
ebrow before he shifted his gaze back to the road. “Do you think anyone believed what he was saying?  Everyone knew he was committing perjury.”

“Darcy knows exactly what he’s told everyone but she doesn’t seem to c
are.  I can’t figure that out.”

“She’s confident enough not to care if anyone believes him or not.  That’s a good thing.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

It had only been a few weeks so I was surprised that it even registered with me that this was the first Saturday I wouldn’t be seeing her.  Oddly, I smiled thinking about the fact that I was missing her.  This girl made me happy.  It had been a long time since I hadn’t just been in it for the sex, the quick release.  As I sat looking out the passenger side window, absently taking in the scenery, I thought to myself that I was, without a doubt, in love with her.

Darcy

I knew I wouldn’t be seeing Tom at all today; the bus would be staying for the after-party and they were likely to be puddles by the time they got back.  I couldn’t help but think about him, replaying the words he’d said to me, and remembering the way he’d looked at me last night.  I was happy and wanted everyone around me to feel the same.

I spent the day shopping and having lunch with my roommates.  Jenna and I decided that we were officially on a mission to get Rene a man. 

Rene had her heart broken by some football player with a serious case of roid-rage and an inflated ego at the end of sophomore year.  I couldn’t understand how she could still be sulking over Ray a full year later.  I reme
mber her telling me she had dated someone else briefly last year but now, I mean, Rene seemed to have
no
interest in hooking up with anyone and it’s not like she didn’t have opportunities.  She was really gorgeous and there was no shortage of guys looking to get with her.  The four of us were talking about it one night when Rene as at work. When Beth brought up Ray, Jenna shook her head emphatically.  “This is
not
because of Ray.  Something has been up with Rene since last year.  Caitlin, I’m sure you noticed.  I mean, last spring that girl was doing more than her fair share of crying.  I knew she had you to lean on and I wasn’t going to pry but it was obvious that she was going through something pretty serious.”

Caitlin looked uncomfortable and then shrugged her shoulders. “You know she’s always dealing with family shit.
  Rene doesn’t have it easy.” 

Caitlin and Rene were tight, just like Jenna and I
were, so I knew Caitlin would never spill any of Rene’s secrets.  Caitlin went on, “She’s good.  And I
know
she’s more than up for tonight.” 

Tonight there were a ton of parties in the Village and we were going to find her someone great.  We picked out a killer outfit for Rene and Jenna did her make-up.  She looked
even more beautiful than usual.

The first party we hit was at our friend Cara’s place.  We were already a little fired up when we got there; Beth had insisted on a little pre-gaming with shots of tequila.  I could never do more than one or two of those.  I was more of a beer and wine girl.  I’m
not a big fan of blacking out.

Rene seemed like her old self and within an hour she was in the midst of some heavy flirting with Tanner, a very handsome lacrosse player.  Mission accom
plished.

Jenna, Beth, and I were dancing in a big group of pe
ople when someone bumped into me, knocking my drink out of my hand.  I turned to see this girl eyeing me up.  When I say she was cheap-looking, I’m not being mean, just calling it as I see it.  She had long red hair, an upturned nose, wore her jeans too tight, and definitely had a penchant for push-up bras; her boobs were practically spilling out of her low-cut shirt.  She gave me a snarky smile and said in a fake apologetic tone, “Oops.”

I didn’t know who she was but Jenna obviously did, “Hey
, Liz, what’s your fucking problem?”

“Rel
ax, Jenna.  Who’s your friend?”

I sai
d in an even tone, “I’m Darcy.”

“Hi
, Darcy, I’m Liz.”

I didn’t return her fake smile.  A bad feeling settled over me; I wasn’t about to make nice with this one.  Then, in what seemed like mock realization she said, “Oh, Darcy, I think we have a good friend in com
mon.”

I felt pure disdain for this girl already. 
My back was up.  “Really?”

She smiled but her smile seemed to curl into more of a snarl.  I’m sorry, she was downrigh
t ugly. “Are you seeing Tommy?”

Tommy? Ugh, she was nauseating. 
“You obviously know that I am.”

She tossed her hair and laughed. “Well, yeah, I do.  I wonder…what’s it like being with a guy who you know has banged pretty much everyone?  I mean, look around, he’s done about half of the girls at this party.  So I guess I shou
ld say, ‘welcome to the club.’”

“I
guess you’re in this club too?”

She put her hand on her chest
and her eyes widened in horror.  “No! He is like, in love, with one of my closest friends.”

Yes
, she used the present tense. 

Then she whispered conspiratorially, “But, while they’ve been on a break, I have been with him.” She actually licked her lips then and added, “I’ve made your
boyfriend
come many times.”

I rolled my eyes, “And you’r
e proud of that? You’re a pig.”

She looked back over her shoulder as she was walking away, “Don’t get too comfortable, sweet
heart.”

Are you kidding me?

Jenna came over with beers for us, “Isn’t she an ugly skank?”

My hand was shaking as I took the cup from Jenna’s hand and then forced down a giant gu
lp. “Yes, perfect description.”