Lessons of the Past (5 page)

I rolled to my side. “What does that mean?”

“It means I saw you bent over on the beach, stretching, and I thought you had the best ass I’ve ever seen. Then you turned around and I remembered you from class. I usually don’t pay that much attention to my students, but
you
, I remembered.”

I nodded. “Do you talk dirty to all of the students you sleep with? Or am I special?” I smiled to let him know I was joking.

His face was stony. “I’ve never slept with a student before.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. And I didn’t plan on it tonight, even when I decided to respond to your text and come over here. But when I saw you in that bra and those shorts, I couldn’t control myself.”

“Hmm,” I replied, reeling from his response.

“Look…I can get dressed and we can pretend this never happened. I’ll still help you with your calculus on Fridays like we discussed.”

“I don’t want that,” I said, moving to straddle him. “I don’t want that at all. But I also don’t want just sex.”

“What exactly do you want?” he asked, his tone weary.

“I don’t know.” I bent down and kissed his lips, my hands roaming over his sculpted chest. I scraped over his nipple with my fingernail and he pulled me closer, deepening the kiss. I had no idea what exactly we were doing with each other, but I knew I didn’t want it to end.

“Fuck, you’re sexy,” he panted before rolling us both over and kissing me fiercely once more.

Javier’s lips brushed over mine in a way that made me feel claimed. I knew that wasn’t what he was doing, but that’s how I felt. His hand drifted up my stomach, making its way toward my breast. I arched my back at the feel of his fingers pinching and rolling my already hardened nipple. “Mmm,” I breathed.

“I thought you thinking of me running made you say that,” he teased as he nipped and sucked on my neck.

“Huh?”

He moved his lips to my collarbone and bit down. “Your text.”

“Oh…” I trailed off as he moved downward, taking the same nipple his fingers had assaulted into his mouth. “That feels so good.”

“Oh, I’m going to make you feel good all right,” he purred as he moved his attention to my other nipple. His tongue darted out, slowly licking, causing me to fist his hair. He was shattering my thoughts again, and I was blissfully letting him.

I pulled his hair, forcing him to let go of my breast and kiss my lips again. My tongue delved into his hot mouth, caressing his in a way I had never kissed a man before. Javier was making me forget all of my inhibitions.

Abruptly, he ripped his mouth from mine. “Are you on birth control?”

“Yes,” I panted.

“Good.” He leaned back, grabbed my hips, positioned my legs in the air, then slammed into me in one hard thrust. “Fuck,” he muttered before pulling out and thrusting back inside.

My entire body quivered with each movement, and when I didn’t think it could feel any better, he placed his thumb on my clit. “Oh…yes!” I cried.

“You like that, baby? You like it when I put my mouth and hands on your pussy?”

I nodded, then reached up and grabbed his head, reconnecting our lips. A low groan rumbled from deep inside his chest as his tongue fucked my mouth with the same urgency as his cock.

His thumb applied a little more pressure just before connecting with his index finger, pinching my clit. I screamed out in extreme ecstasy as I came with a hard jolt, milking his cock with every fiber of my being.

Burying his head in the crook of my neck, he let go, spilling every last drop he had inside me.

We both lay there, panting for several minutes before he rolled onto his back, taking me with him. “I need a shower.”

“Me, too,” I agreed. “I think I’m going to be bowlegged tomorrow,” I joked, getting out of bed. He was seriously
huge
.

“Good.” He smirked. “You’ll have no problem remembering just how fucking great tonight was, then.”

We showered together, washing off the sweat and smell of sex. I was still dazed, not really sure whether I was dreaming or what I had even done. I also wasn’t sure if this was a one-time thing, which wasn’t something I normally did, or exactly what he wanted.

After drying off, I pulled shorts and a t-shirt from a drawer and put them on. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m getting dressed.”

He nodded. “Do you normally sleep in clothes? I figured since you live alone, you’d just sleep naked.”

“I normally sleep in an oversized t-shirt. But I wasn’t exactly sure…”

He stepped toward me and placed his hand on my cheek. “Can I stay? I have to leave early in the morning, but I’d love to stay.”

I swallowed—hard. “Sure.”

“Then, let’s get you back out of those shorts,” he said, smirking. With one quick movement, he hooked his thumbs in my shorts and yanked them down to my ankles. “Much better.”

I looked at him, a towel still wrapped around his hips. “And what are you going to sleep in?”

“I was thinking nothing.”

Licking my lips, I said, “I like that idea.”

He shed his towel and we both climbed under the sheets. I had no idea what tomorrow would bring, or Monday, when I had to sit in his class for an hour, but for once, I wasn’t going to over think the situation.

We lay tangled together, my head lying on his chest, his arms around me, and our legs entwined, for several minutes before he turned and kissed my temple. “Good night.”

“Night,” I whispered.

***

I woke to the sound of bells. My eyes popped open as the body I was laying on moved to the right, dropping my head to the mattress. “Sorry,” he said hoarsely, “my alarm to wake me for my run.”

“Uhh.”

He rolled back to face me, his hand trailing down my arm. “Do you run on the weekends? I either need to run or go home.”

I turned my head to look at him. “I normally do, yes. But can’t we wait another hour?”

“No,” he answered harshly.

I popped up on my elbow as he slid out of the bed and retrieved his boxer briefs and shorts.
What the fuck?
He was back to acting like an ass.

“No?”

He pulled his shorts up his legs. “That’s what I said.” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Fuck,” he muttered to himself. Shaking his head, he sat down next to me. “I’m sorry. I have something to tell you, and I know you aren’t going to like it.”

“Last night was a mistake?” I alleged, figuring he regretted having sex with me.

“No. Yes,” he groaned and ran his hand through his hair again. “Will you just hear me out? Please. Don’t say anything until I’m finished?”

My eyebrows scrunched together in obvious confusion, but I nodded.

“I’m…married.” I sprang up out of bed as my jaw dropped. Fucking hell. My stomach rolled. I had slept with a married man? This couldn’t be. I wasn’t a whore. I was going to throw up.

He rounded the bed and grabbed my wrist. I yanked it out of his hold and stepped farther away from him. “Don’t,” he roared. “You said you’d listen!”

“I really don’t think there is anything you can say right now that would make me want to listen.”

He grabbed my shoulders. “Please. It’s not what you think.”

“Not what I think?” I spat at him. “What the fuck should I think?”

“It’s not a real marriage.”

Shaking my head at him, I said, “How the hell is it not a real marriage?”

“Just sit down and listen.” He sighed. “For the love of God, please. Just hear me out and if you want me to go, I will. You won’t ever have to see me again.”

“Yes, I fucking will! I’ll have to see you every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I can’t drop your class.” Anger clawed at me, but I sat down as he had asked.

He kneeled in front of me. “I’ll help you switch professors.”

“And what will you tell them, Javier? Hmm? That you can’t teach me any longer since you literally fucked me over?”

He ignored my comment. “Six years ago, I met Amy at a party. We wound up hooking up in some random bedroom and I left thinking I’d never see her again. A couple weekends later, I saw her again and the same thing happened. I went about my life and she went about hers, or so I thought. Two months after our last…hookup, she contacted me through a friend.” He leaned in, giving me a swift, hard kiss on the lips. “I’m sure you know where this is going. She told me she was pregnant. I didn’t know what to do. I was raised in a family with high standards. After talking to my mom and dad, I asked Amy to marry me.”

Scrubbing his hand over his scruff, he continued. “It was okay for maybe a month, but then she started acting like a raving bitch.”

“She was pregnant,” I interjected.

“No. This was worse. Way worse. And six years later, it still hasn’t gone away. Amy and I don’t even share a bedroom for Christ’s sake. The only reason, and I mean the
only
reason, I stay is Caroline.”

“Your daughter?”

“Yes,” he answered. “Caroline is everything to me. I want to be a full-time dad. I want to be there any time she needs me. That’s why I’m sticking out this hell of a marriage with Amy.”

“Why are you telling me this? I know what a one-night stand is. Did you think I’d finally notice your wedding ring in class and report you for sleeping with me to your boss? I’m not that type of girl.”

He closed his eyes. “No. That’s not why I’m telling you. I just wanted you to understand.”

I pushed him back and stood. “Get out.”

“Alex—”

“Get the fuck out! I don’t want anything to do with you.”

He nodded and stood as well. “Okay. I’m really sorry,” he gestured between us, “for all of this. I’ll see you in class on Monday.”

I didn’t say anything else before walking into the bathroom and slamming the door. I sank down on the floor and cried, letting all of my emotions out.

I didn’t know what to think or feel. If he was really telling me the truth, then he was trapped in a lonely marriage. I understood that, and I had to give him credit for wanting to be an involved father, but I couldn’t help but feel used. He could have been up front with me about his marriage. He could have never agreed to meet me for a “run”.

Did I look like an easy target?

An easy fuck?

I had no clue what to do. But I knew I suddenly felt dirty. So very dirty. Climbing into the shower, I turned the water as hot as I could stand it. It burned and scalded as I scrubbed every inch of my skin, wanting to get every trace of him off me.

Once the water turned cold, I shut it off and stepped out of the shower. In the end, I decided to let it go—or, at least, try to let it go. I dried off and slipped on my plush bath robe before shuffling toward the kitchen for coffee.

I stopped abruptly, my heart pounding out of my chest, when I noticed the male form sitting on my couch.

“Oh my gosh, Lane. You scared the shit out of me,” I gasped.

He glanced at me, concern morphing his face. “Alex, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head, trying to rid my face of any emotion.

He got up and rounded the coffee table, coming to stand in front of me. “I know it’s not,” he admonished as he wrapped his arms around me, “but I know you well enough not to push.”

“Thanks.” I didn’t say any more, not wanting to lie to him. And I had decided to let the whole ordeal go. As long as I could sit through calculus three hours a week, it would be fine. I hoped.

I peered up at his kind eyes. “Not to be rude, but why are you here?”

“I was hoping we could go get coffee and watch Netflix all day.”

“Oh,” I said, suddenly realizing he could have seen Javier leave. “Why didn’t you just call?”

“I did. You didn’t answer.” He shrugged. “I was already up and bored, so I decided to see if you were home. The door was unlocked.”

“Okay. Sure. It sounds perfect, actually.” He grinned and I knew Lane hadn’t seen Javier. He would have said something about it. “Let’s get some coffee and veg.”

“I knew you were the perfect person to ask.”

“Ha-ha,” I said as I scampered toward my room.

I got dressed and Lane and I spent the rest of the day together watching a full season of a suspense drama on Netflix. By the time he left, I felt better and was able to push the thoughts of Javier to the back of my mind. Well, not really, but I tried.

I skipped my run Monday morning, opting to study calculus instead. I may have decided to let it go, but I’d be damned if I’d feel like an idiot in front of Javier. Walking into class, I hitched the strap of my bag over my shoulder and held my head high. It was just a one-night stand. Nothing more, nothing less.

Sinking down into my seat, I glanced up to see him talking and laughing with some students about their weekend. He seemed relaxed and not at all bothered by what had happened Saturday night. One of the girls had a gleam in her eye as she looked at him, and I inwardly laughed when he moved away from her touch. It was a little catty, but he definitely hadn’t pulled away from my touch. Sure, it was a completely different setting, but it still made me feel better. Unfortunately, I still had a huge crush on my hot calculus professor.

I was pathetic.

He started class a few minutes later and I concentrated on taking notes and understanding what he was explaining. Of course, I still felt a little lost, but I was determined to pass the class. I absolutely had to pass. I wasn’t giving myself any other option.

He dismissed class and I gathered up my stuff then walked toward the exit. He glanced in my direction, giving me a friendly smile. I smiled back before quickly exiting the classroom.

During my next class, I couldn’t concentrate on anything but Javier. Two questions kept rolling over and over in my mind. The first being, why me? Why, out of all his students or even single women in the city, would he pick me? I wasn’t special in any way. And the second question, where the hell had he gotten that condom? If fucking me wasn’t on his agenda for the night, why did he have the condom on him? Did he always carry one with him, as if he were a single man? By the end of class, I
had
to know the answers.

I strode toward his office on a mission. I had no idea whether he was teaching a class or not, and I didn’t care. I was going to get these questions answered. His office door was open and a flirty “…you’re so funny,” floated out.