Authors: Susan Kay
Tags: #Nonfiction, #History
like that—devoid of all hope, beaten. He looked past her into the mirror,
frantically seeking an answer, and saw the one enemy she would never
defeat, the true enemy, the greatest enemy—herself.
She meant to die, he saw that now, not scandalously, or spectacularly,
but by her own design all the same, setting her mind to death, as she had
once set it long ago, when only fifteen. Yet suicide, how ever quiet and
unobtrusive, was still a crime in the eyes of God and all Christian men, a
crime he could not permit. There was no one to take her place but her
feckless Scottish cousin, James, no child of her body to inherit. It was her
duty to live and delay that inheritance for as long as possible; it was his
own to make certain that she did.
He knew what to say to her now—knew what to say and how to say it.
Abruptly he reached out and struck the empty goblet off the dressing-
table with the flat of his hand.
“How can you sink to this?” he snapped. “How dare you desert your
people in their hour of triumph to mope over a dead rat who was never
worth a tinker’s curse alive?”
She stared at him and her face wore a stunned, stricken look which hurt
him infinitely. But he would not give up now. It was the right note and
he struck it again, hard, in a voice which seemed rough with contempt.
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“I tell you this, my considered opinion, madam: the late Earl of
Leicester was a worthless, grasping knave who used you for his own ends
from the day he entered your service.”
She swayed to her feet with an immense effort and steadied herself
against the back of her chair.
“Liar!” she breathed. “You white-haired snake, you lying, foul-
mouthed
clerk!
Oh God, he was right about you, but I would never see
it. You were behind every cruelty I ever showed him—even the Lord
Lieutenancy.” She panted for breath. “Yes—but for you and your mind-
less carping he would have had that and died believing in my love at last.”
Stung by her insults, Burghley shook his head grimly.
“Why deceive yourself, madam? Whatever you gave him could not
alter the fact that he hated you—and given the way you treated him for
thirty years what honest man could blame him for that?”
“Be silent!” She thought she had screamed it but heard it only as an
anguished whimper. “Be silent, I say.”
“Madam, I should be ashamed to stay silent. Have I served a snivelling
coward all these years? Must I now stand by and watch you fret yourself
into the grave for the sake of a miserable traitor who betrayed you at
every turn?”
She hit him for that, a sharp stinging blow across the mouth which
had uttered those unforgivable obscenities. Relief flooded through him
as he staggered back a step, for he had tied her to this world with chains
of rage, roused her sufficiently from that stupor of grief to know he need
no longer fear for her life.
But he had gone too far, roused something worse than rage in her; he
saw it suddenly in her black eyes, pulsing with indescribable venom, as
though all the forces of darkness massed behind them. She held out her
hand to him and gave him a smile that was soft with malice. She looked
suddenly malevolent—he could find no other word for it.
“That was for him,” she said slowly, “for him and the life you
condemned him to all those years ago when you murdered his wife.
Yes!
—
you wondered at the time, didn’t you? You wondered if I had guessed. So
now there shall be no more secrets between us, my Spirit, my twin-soul.
You alone of all the men in my kingdom shall know the truth about me.”
He did not want to hear this. He tried to move away, but her cold
hand fastened on his wrist with murderous strength, like the bite of steel.
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He tried in vain to shut out her harsh voice rasping in his ears, but it was
no use; he heard.
“I lied to you all those years ago, Cecil—did you never know it?—I
betrayed your precious trust. He was my lover from the very beginning.
We had nothing to fear, you see—I lost the Admiral’s child when I was
fourteen and Dr. Bill told me I could expect no more. It was safe to be
stallion to a barren mare, quite safe. There is a bed behind you, Cecil,
my bed, the bed of state. Look at it. Look at it and see us lying there
night after night, his body swelling in mine till I wept with ecstasy. Does
Mildred weep when you mount her, my friend—does she? No! You shall
not turn away from this. You tell me I am not free to die—so be it! I will
play the Virgin Queen for you a little longer. But remember this: I was
always his slut and I’m glad of it.” Her smile curled deeper, knifing him
like a poisoned dart. “You have served Dudley’s whore for thirty years
and you will serve her to the end of your days. For just as you refuse to
release me, so shall I refuse to release you. Sick, crippled, deaf, or blind,
you will
die
in my service, with a chain of office round your scrawny
neck—I swear it!”
She dropped his hand and stepped back from him, leaving him to stare
at his wrist as though her touch had defiled him. Something crumpled in
his face as he turned away from her, his life’s achievements like dust in
his hand; a broken old man who suddenly felt he would never care for
anything in this worthless world again.
The outer doors closed behind him and she was alone once more in
the dreadful sunlit silence, staring at the folded note on her dressing-table
which bore a single line of her own writing.
“
His last letter
:”
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Part 5
The Effigy
“She was more than a man and sometimes, in truth, less than a
woman.”
—Sir Robert Cecil
Chapter 1
Who list her hunt, I put him out of doubt,
As well as I may spend his time in vain;
And graven with diamonds in letters plain
There is written, her fair neck round about,
“Noli me tangere,
for Caesar’s I am,
And wild for to hold, though I seem tame.
”
S
o many, many years ago had the poet, sir thomas wyatt,
written of Anne Boleyn, whom he had loved so hopelessly and lost
to King Henry. The poet’s son, a bold traitor, had died to put Caesar’s
daughter on the throne when Queen Mary reigned. Now all were dead
and only Caesar’s last child lived to tell the tale —still lived in spite of the
wild rumours which had flown through the palace these last three days;
still lived to run in the chase.
The tall young man, lounging in a window-seat, slowly closed his book
of verse and glanced obliquely round the crowded Presence Chamber.
Courtiers and ladies stood in whispering groups, speculating with idle,
vulgar curiosity:
what now?
More than once he had felt their hot, sidelong
glances steal round upon him as he sat, apparently indifferent to their
chatter, idly turning the pages of his priceless book, speaking to no one
and pretending he could not hear what was being said. The doors of the
Privy Chamber remained shut and no one could guess what was taking
place in the room beyond it, what the faithful Lord Burghley would find
to say to his Queen in the course of today’s business that would persuade
her to continue in her public life.
Susan Kay
The ladies exchanged nervous glances and wondered how difficult
they would find their royal mistress when they were called to dress her.
They dreaded the inevitable summons to wait upon her and huddled
together uneasily, mingling expressions of pity and fear.
Across the room the young men preened like peacocks, and eyed
each other with hostility, angry dogs preparing to fight over a coveted
bone. They knew now there was something worth fighting for.
The
King is dead—long live the King
! Who would be the King of the Queen’s
heart now that the Great Lord had relinquished that prise for ever?
Would it be Hatton, the elegant dancer who kept his homosexuality
so decorously and discreetly out of sight? Raleigh, the cultured adven-
turer, brilliant, dark, and dangerous? Or Essex, the newest star in the
firmament of the royal favour, the outspoken, wilful aristocrat who was
as yet still a largely unknown quantity? No one knew, but everyone
was busy guessing and laying bets on their favourite stallion, since one
thing alone was certain now: the Virgin Queen could not exist without
a man at her side.
And so the whispering and shifting glances went on, until the
door opened at last and everyone turned to look as Lord Burghley
hobbled slowly into their midst. His face was grimly shuttered as he
passed through their ranks, meeting no one’s eye, speaking not one
word, not even to his son, the stunted little clerk, Robert Cecil, who
promptly fell into step beside his father and accompanied him out of
the room.
Slowly, the buzz of speculation started up once more in his wake.
The October light was failing as the red-haired man in the window-
seat rose and began to pace up and down in the space which lesser minions
automatically made for him. His mind was a fever of anxious anticipation
and excitement.
The old man dead! What a chance, what an unparalleled oppor-
tunity—but how long did he have to make use of it before the news
brought his rival, Raleigh, hurrying back from the West Country,
where war action had stationed him, to claim the Queen of Hearts for
himself ? He loathed Raleigh, the Captain of the Guard, a low upstart
who had made himself master of the gallant gesture and presumed to
address his arrogant love sonnets to the Queen. A quicksilver mind to
match that of his royal mistress, scholar, poet, explorer, a more polished
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version of Drake—he was a formidable opponent whom even Leicester
had feared.
Raleigh! The boy pictured him resentfully in memory, seeing him
forever standing, unchallenged, before the Queen’s door, wearing a suit
of silver armour; seeing him lean with familiar ease against the Queen’s
high-backed chair, flaunting that devilish pipe stuffed with the burning
leaves he called tobacco. A pipe was a necessary accoutrement to every
aspiring courtier now, but only Raleigh had dared to win a wager against
his royal mistress, by solemnly swearing he could tell the weight of his
own smoke. A ridiculous, extravagant claim—the whole court had
gathered round to see the proud man take a fall. Raleigh had weighed
the tobacco leaves, smoked his pipe, and then tapped the ashes into the
scales and declared the difference in the two weights to be the weight
of the smoke. The Queen had laughed and paid her forfeit with good
grace, and those who had never seen her lose a wager in public before
were astonished by the man’s wit and daring. Oh yes—Raleigh had been
dangerous even while Leicester lived. What power might not be his now
that Leicester was gone?
The boy paced faster and more furiously, biting the inside of his lip
and clenching his fist, betraying his tension, as he betrayed all emotion.
Whoso list to hunt, I know where is an hind…
It was just an hour before supper when the imperious jangle of a
handbell sent the women in the room fluttering agitatedly into the ante-
chamber. The men started and exchanged significant glances with their
cronies, a rustle of taut expectation that made the boy tense with rage.
Who so list to hunt…
Yes—they were all preparing to hunt now; but his would be the first
arrow to pierce the heart of that elusive hind.
Like the rest of the hopeful young men, he had lingered in the Presence
Chamber, hoping for a public appearance, waiting for the opportunity
to stake his claim to her; and, like the rest, he eventually went away
weary and disappointed. Days slid into weeks and some abandoned this
regular evening vigil for the lighter pursuits of the court; but the Earl of
Essex had abandoned nothing. His mental crossbow was always armed
and ready, for he knew now that if he dared to shoot at all, this time it
must be to kill.
t t t
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The painting was finished. They had hung Mary Stuart’s famous rope of
black pearls around her neck, fastened the monstrous cartwheel ruff beneath
her chin, and drawn back discreetly while she stared at their handiwork.
In the mirror she saw a mask, skilfully executed and harshly coloured;
crimson salve for a mouth that was a sad thin line, rose paste on her
bloodless cheekbones, belladonna to put shine into her lifeless eyes. A
snow Queen, with a splinter of ice lodged in her heart, cold and hard and
unsmiling, dressed all in mourning black.
Dead but not buried, she thought suddenly, and snatched the mirror
from its stand, handing it to the woman nearest to her.