Learning to Heal (22 page)

“Please! I’m sure I have more of the goods than you two combined.” She points to Ryan and David, who quickly lose their smiles. “Besides that, I got mad skills. Don’t I, ladies?”

Tru and Jazz loudly agree. “Sisters before misters.” All three bust into giggles. Jax and I join them while Ryan and David continue with the comebacks. Well, Ryan anyway. David seems to be quieter than usual. Maybe it’s only compared to Ryan.

After about thirty minutes or so my phone rings and I see it’s Chanda. I know she’s off tonight and so is Mom, so I don’t know why she’d be calling me.

“Who is it?” Jazz asks with concern. She’s probably worried Mom was called in and I’ll need to leave.

“Chanda.” I kiss her cheek when she turns her attention away from me and back to the group. “I’ll be right back.” Walking outside to face the winter chill, I answer. “Hello.”

“Mason?” Her voice sounds strained and people are in the background laughing loudly and making it difficult to hear her.

“Yeah, Chanda?”

“Can you come get me? Please?” She sniffles and I hate when any girl cries. “My ride left me.”

“Well, I’m kind of at Jazz’s with a bunch of friends … and I’ve been drinking.”

“Oh.” She starts to really cry and talking becomes difficult, but I can still make out some of what she says. “I’d call a cab but he left with my purse.”

Well shit! I exhale and rub my hands through my hair. “Okay, tell me where you’re at and Jazz and I will come pick you up.”

She tells me and I hate the idea already. This part of town is rough and why she’s down there, I’ll never know. Actually, it’s probably because of some lowlife guy, but who she dates is none of my concern. She’s not the girl I knew back in middle school and high school anymore. She’s been different since she came back almost a year ago. Even though she’s always been wild and free it’s more intense now. I guess you could say she’s more reckless and selfish, always lying to her dad, asking for money or stealing it, and flirting with older men in suits trying to find her ticket out.

Well that’s what she said when I confronted her one night.

I was taking our trash out this past summer and watched a car pull in that really didn’t belong in my apartment complex. It wasn’t the worst place to live, but BMWs, Audis, and Mercedes usually didn’t come around. Suspicious, I watched and saw Chanda get out of an all black Mercedes with chrome detailing. When the guy drove off I saw someone that looked to be in his late sixties or so and dressed for business in an expensive looking suit. I hated that someone I consider a friend, or used to anyway, would sell herself for money. I had to say something.

Shaking my head, I go back inside and to Jazz’s warmth. It’s fucking cold out and I hate getting her out this late at night. Maybe Jax can come with me and drive. I think he’s only had one beer, unlike the rest of us.

Jazz scoots over and I notice how she stays there instead of cuddling next to me like usual. Nudging her with my elbow, I get her attention. Her eyes look tired with dark circles under them. I’m immediately worried.

“You okay?”

“Yes.”

Okay! She’s obviously upset. Short answers are her way of simmering under her pretty skin. I need to make this better.

“Sorry about that. Her ride left her and took her purse.” I wait for her to look at me before I continue. “I need to go get her.”

She pales before her cheeks turn red. Her eyes narrow and I know she’s pissed. It’s scary and cute at the same time. Should I hold her or run for cover? Instead, I’ll sit here and watch. “So you’re leaving? To go get her? But you’re drunk.”

Her shout grabs everyone’s attention and I feel eyes on me but ignore them the best I can. “I wasn’t going to drive. I was going to get someone to drive me. And yes, I was going to go get her but planned on coming back after I dropped her off. I can’t leave her stranded. She’s off Decatur Street and you know that’s not the safest part of Mobile.” She stands and places her hands on her hips.

Jax cuts in before she can argue. “He’s right, Jazz. That part of town is definitely not safe for anyone.” He looks at me and stands. “I’ll drive you, but I need to go grab my keys.” He pulls Tru up from her seat and gives her a kiss. I watch as Hero stands on alert and can already see his protectiveness of her.

Standing up, I grab Jazz. I kiss her nose and hold her tight against my chest. When her arms return the embrace I feel my heart slow down. I’m not afraid to admit that I was scared to death of losing her over something so stupid like Chanda. The last thing I need is for her to think something might happen between us. Tipping her chin up with my finger, I kiss her lips once, twice, and then a third time before I tell her I love her and pull away. She never says it back and that’s okay with me. For now.

I have a “come to Jesus” meeting with myself after they leave to go pick up Chanda. My anger over the situation disappears and a new anger forms. I feel angry with myself for being the same selfish person that I usually am. Just because I wanted to keep Mason close and because it’s another girl, I let jealousy overtake me. After he leaves I lock myself in my room and think of Mason and how he’s not like Oliver. He’s not with someone else and cheating. He’s a good guy helping a friend out in their time of need. Just because she has a va-jayjay doesn’t mean he shouldn’t still be a friend and help her out, even if she was a bitch in the beginning.

I eventually cry myself into a fitful sleep but wake up a few hours later. My jelly belly thinks my bladder is either a trampoline or tumbling mat. I notice a heavy weight on me when I try to move, so I turn and see a sleeping Mason with parted lips a tousled hair. He’s so sexy and cute all at the same time—practically perfect.  Scooting out from under him, I hurry in the bathroom, desperate to get back to his warmth. I strip down first and enjoy waking him up without words, only actions.

The next morning we wake and I’m all smiles, but when I think of my behavior the night before it falls. “I’m sorry.” I kiss his slightly stubbled cheek and repeat myself. “I’m so sorry for being selfish last night and wanting you all to myself. But honestly, I think Chanda still has a thing for you and the thought of you and her together had me jealous and paranoid.”

He leans to his side and props up on his elbow while watching my every move. I love how his dark hair falls against his forehead and over one eyebrow. When he smirks I feel my insides quiver again. “I like you jealous. It means you like me.”

Lying back down on my back I turn my head and face him. “Of course I like you.” I touch his nose. “You make me laugh and you look good on my pink duvet.” He kisses my finger once it reaches his lips.

“What else do you like about me?” He’s playful this morning and I love it. All is forgiven.

I tap my finger to my chin and stare at the ceiling. “Hmmm. Well you do make killer French toast.”

He climbs on top of me and straddles my naked body. Nuzzling my neck, he whispers, “Anything else?” Shivers race from my neck down to my toes as a laugh erupts from me because it tickles.

“Nope. Nothing. I think that’s it.”

He sits up smiling and looks at my body while holding my arms above my head. Man, I’m glad I shaved. “Nothing, huh?”

My laughter dies as his green eyes start to smolder. To know that he gets turned on and heated from my scarred chest is something I never thought I’d experience with anyone. Beautiful is what this sweet man makes me feel. I love how he caresses my body during sex or when we’re just sitting on the couch. I love how he devotes his life to those he cares about and is willing to give a few dollars to the homeless. I love him.

“I love you, Mason.” The words slip out without trying. My soul needs him to know how he makes me feel, how much he means to me. Us.

His stare reaches my eyes and he smiles with so much love that it’s a moment I will remember for the rest of my days. I know I’ll never love someone as much as him and hope one day I’m worthy of him. He bends down and catches me in a sweet kiss before his mouth travels to my baby bump. He repeats his words of love, and I feel a river of happiness flow through me that has me glowing from deep within.

It’s so stinking hot for March. I’m sweating every second. A pool sounds wonderful but the apartment still has theirs locked up. I had asked them if I could use it but the guy in the office said it was still too cold. Douche bags. Don’t they know I’m hot? Can’t they see my sweaty face and damp clothes? So instead of swimming to cool down, I settle for summer clothing to keep my temperature down from these damn hormonal changes. When I walked into the dentist office last week in shorts everyone looked at me like I lost my mind. Who cares if everyone else in Mobile is still wearing sweaters and jackets? Not me, that’s for damn sure! After I slide on my blue and white flip-flops that match my Maxi dress perfectly, I head out the door. I have another appointment and Mason is meeting me there after his class.

Classes for me are light and only on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. I plan on taking the summer off, and honestly I doubt I’ll come back. College isn’t really my thing and as far as the experience goes, I think I’ve had enough. Sleeping with one’s professor is experience enough in my book.

Dropping out has been on my mind since I felt the baby kick for the first time. That caused the reality of the situation to really sink in, and I kind of had a mini freak out about having a person inside me. If you really think about it, it’s pretty weird.

It was the week after the Chanda rescue and I was with Mason and Grace at Tru’s. We just finished dinner and were watching American Idol when this chick comes on and screeches like a fudged up bird. It was so loud my child jumps inside of me for the first time. At least that’s what I say caused it. While big bird was screaming on TV, I started screaming for real which caused everyone to start screaming. Poor Grace. I didn’t mean to freak her out, but shit, I was freaked out myself. So much so, I couldn’t calm down to tell anyone what was happening. So I finally just grabbed Mason’s hand and held it against me to show him. Mister cool and confident just smiled and kissed me. This calmed me down because he obviously doesn’t think I’m about to be ripped open like in the movie Alien. Unlike me, he didn’t have a lunatic moment that caused a hilarious riot for my whole family. Even Ryan found it funny and he’s picked on me every time I see him. I warned him the next time I’d kick him in the balls. He finally got the hint after I actually did it. Since then almost everyone wants to feel, everyone but Tru that is. I asked her after it happened, and she just said it was too soon, but I found out shortly after, that Brian’s birthday was a few weeks away. I could tell she was happy for me but sad for herself and wanted to be alone. So we left and I called Jax letting him know what had happened. He immediately left practice and headed home.