Learning to Heal (9 page)

“Now get dressed and take this ticket to the front. They’ll make your follow-up appointment.” She turns toward Mason and sticks out her hand. “Again, I am so glad to meet you.”

Mason politely shakes it. “You too.”

“Oh, and Jasmine …” She waits for me to turn in her direction after I’m done buttoning my jeans. “Don’t wear yourself out, okay? Take it easy and call if you need anything.”

I can only nod in agreement. I hope Mason doesn’t ask what she’s blabbering about because I have no clue what to tell him. After she exits the room, we head out and make a four week follow-up. I can still hear the galloping sound of my baby’s heart in my head and can’t help but feel excitement hum under my skin.

“Well that was pretty cool.” I turn in Mason’s direction when he speaks. “Want to go grab some food or something?” he asks with his hands stuffed in his jean pockets and a nervous look on his face. At least it’s not the same one that had me almost pulling his face down to mine so I could taste him. This is the Mason I’ve come to know and care for.

I look at my phone for the time and see it’s getting late, plus I really need to get my hormonal ass straight before I cross the line with him. I’ve sworn off relationships since Halloween and I really don’t want to ruin this thing between us. Whatever it is. “No. I really need to get back. I have my last final Thursday and a ton of laundry to do. Sorry.” I hate statistics just as much as folding clothes. I usually try and find a way out of both, but not this time. This time I need to stick to my plan. I really need to study for that stupid exam if I want to pass.

I see the disappointment and feel like total shit, if shit is an emotion. “Okay. I need to get to my mom’s anyway.” He turns to leave and walks to his truck parked a few spaces from mine. “See ya.”

OMG!
I feel like such a bitch. He has been there for me when no one else has. The least I can do is get a bite to eat with him. Before he gets in his truck, I finally settle my internal argument and call his name. When he turns around I smile.

“Could you help me study while we eat pizza?” I watch his dimples appear while he nods his head. The sun catches his green eyes.
Oh sweet baby Jesus.
I have a feeling I’m in trouble.

After I go back to my dorm for my books, I head toward Mason’s mom’s apartment. Parking my car, I notice his truck is nowhere to be seen so I shoot him a quick text.

Mason: Still waiting on food. Gonna be few min. Go inside & wait 4 me.

Me: No. I’ll w8 here.
I really don’t feel like meeting a stranger alone. Especially one that might want to kill me. 

Mason: Go inside. Apartment B2. My mom wants 2 meet u & is expecting u.

Me: Is she gonna kill me?
I can practically see his face smile from reading that.
 

Mason: Def. not. Don’t be a chickenshit. GO!

Me: Fine! I’m giving you the bird, asshole.
And I totally am, while in my head I’m thinking about my game plan for survival.  

He doesn’t respond back, but I don’t care. After I grab my bag, I slowly head up the front steps. The sound of children laughing reaches my ears. I hear someone across the way holler “hey, baby,” but continue to ignore their lewd gestures as I ascend the stairs. Due to my freaky super spidey sense of smell, I feel my stomach start to turn when I’m assaulted by cigarette smoke and cheap perfume. I cover my mouth before I up-chuck all over the place and make a horrible first impression.

“These bother you?” I turn and see the girl from the other night standing there holding up her cancer stick with a smirk on her narrow face. She must be going to work because she’s wearing a light blue button down blouse with white strips. It has the logo for The Waffle House on the sleeves and a name tag that reads
Chanda
. “Sorry,” she says and takes another drag with absolutely no sincerity in her voice.

I feel too nauseous to argue so I turn and knock on Mason’s door, trying to avoid breathing. “He’s not home yet, you know. He usually comes by my place after school anyways to hang out. And I haven’t seen him.”

Breathing in deep when I feel a slight winter breeze, I look at her. “Well, I just left him and he’s on his way here to meet me. We had a doctor’s appointment.” I reach down and caress my stomach. I don’t know why I’m trying to piss this girl off. I shouldn’t care if she likes Mason or if Mason likes her, but deep down I do. I tell myself it’s because I don’t like her and he can do way better. I watch her eyes squint in anger and brace myself for some more trash talk. Before she can say anything, the door opens and Mason’s mom greets me. She’s a few inches taller than me, which is no surprise. Her dark, curly hair is in a tight bun. She stares down at me with blue eyes like Grace’s and a small beauty mark above her lip on the right side.

I smile my best smile even though I still feel sick from the breeze blowing the rancid smell of smoke my way. “Hello, Ms. Reed. I’m Jasmine.”

“Hello, Jasmine. Come on in. And call me Brenda.” She looks over my shoulder. “Chanda, I’ll be ready to leave in five minutes. I promise.”

We walk inside and I take in my surroundings. To the right is the living area with only a small TV on a cabinet and a worn brown couch that sits against the wall. The walls are a tan with an assortment of pictures of Mason and Grace posing at different ages. Mason was a gorgeous baby. I hope my child looks that cute. My eyes land on a quilt that is folded neatly across the top of the couch. Its bright colors hold my eyes hostage until I hear a scream.

I jump and turn toward the sound. Grace sits on the floor with her legs crossed, rocking back and forth while hitting herself with her small fist. I walk toward her, not really sure what to do, but Mason’s mom just restarts a kid’s video. Grace stops her tantrum immediately to watch.

“Sorry. That’s pretty normal here.” She walks to the kitchen table and pats a chair for me to come sit with her. “Now I hear that I’m going to be a Mimi. Believe me, I wasn’t happy. Babies are expensive, but regardless I’ll love him or her because they’re a part of my precious boy.” She gives me a small smile and gets up. “Are you thirsty? I have juice or sweet tea.”

“No, ma’am. I am fine. But thank you.” I don’t see any weapons or body bags anywhere so I must be okay. Anyone who can raise someone like Mason has to be a special person.

She sits again. “I know you’re different from Mason on all levels. But I hope this baby doesn’t do anything to jeopardize his schooling.”

Confused, I ask, “Jeopardize how?”

“I’m not trying to come off as mean, but you come from money. I can tell. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But we have to work for every penny we have. And Mason has always worked hard in school and helping me out. So what I mean is I don’t want him to back off of his studies. He’s on a scholarship that has strict rules if he wants to keep it. And I’m afraid with him playing house he’ll get his priorities mixed up.” She glances at the clock while I sit there speechless. “Crap, I have to get going. Will you be okay to watch Grace until Mason gets here? I hate asking and I know she’s different but I’ve been late a few times already and the boss is getting aggravated.”

After a second I finally find my tongue. Out of nowhere I feel a need to gain her approval. “No, it’s fine. In fact my younger sister is in a wheelchair, so I’m sure I can manage.” My voice is small and shaky, and I notice my answer gains her attention. Instead of replying she says a quick goodbye and walks out the door. Once the door shuts I start to think of what I’m really getting into with Mason. Then guilt surfaces because of how this lie is not only affecting Mason and me, but everyone in our lives. I can’t help but ask myself if I’m really doing the right thing.

Today is a busy day because I’m helping move Jazz into her new apartment. Unfortunately I had to bring Grace with me because Mom is working extra hours for Christmas money. She does this every year, and since classes just let out for winter break, I’m staying at her place instead of the frat house. I just hope Jazz doesn’t care that she’s here.

When I pull up outside the dorm, I see David has already showed up with a few of the other frat brothers to help. Thank goodness because I’m sure Jazz has a shitload. I park and walk over to get Grace out before making our way toward everyone.

“’Bout damn time, pussy. Thought you bailed.” David laughs with a few of the other guys, and I flip him off.

“Chill with the language. Grace is here.” I give him a stern look and point to my sister, who’s beside me.

“Oh shit. Sorry, dude.” He walks up the stairs and I follow behind shaking my head.

After we finally reach Jazz’s room, I see that she has two more guys I recognize from the house. They are packing and wrapping everything she points out, most of which are shoes. I keep my eye on them because I know these two guys bring girls home on a regular basis. She seems to be ignorant to their stares and continues to tell them what to take and what to leave with her beautiful smile constantly on her face.

I want to be the only one she smiles at, but I shake off these stupid caveman emotions and walk in, still holding Grace’s hand. I plaster a smile on before I speak. “Sorry I’m late but Mom had to work. I brought Grace too. I hope that’s okay.”

She smiles and walks up to Grace and me. “Of course it’s okay.” She bends down in front of my sister to get to her level, which isn’t very hard for her. “Hi, sweetness.” She smiles and glances up toward me with her sky blue eyes shining. “I got you something the other day. I figured you might like it.” She stands and walks to her desk. When she comes back she has a pink, children’s keyboard that lights up with the music. Grace quickly lets go of my hand to get her hands on it, and I watch as Jazz leads her to sit on the bare mattress. I literally feel my heart squeeze as I fall more in love with her.

David slaps my back and bends down to whisper in my ear, “Whipped.” He walks off to start carrying boxes downstairs. Turning around, I grab a box before following in his direction, desperate to not look so obvious.

Later that day when all the boxes are unloaded at her new apartment and the new furniture is placed where she wants it, we take a break and eat pizza. I hate that it’s all we seem to eat, but she really enjoys it. Plus they have a soft pasta for Grace.