Layers Off (14 page)

I saw what I said to him soak into his being the same way the rain was penetrating us both. His mouth curved up by a fraction and eyes widened as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. And slowly, even through the cold rain, I saw brightness return to Julian’s eyes. The same one I remembered when I met him. That hope and longing he’d denied himself beamed out of him, reviving what I now knew was true: that Julian had kept his distance on purpose. He’d suffered just so that I could heal.

Both my arms were covered with goose bumps, and so were Julian’s. I skimmed my finger along his forearm, only to revive a new field of prickly spots.

He drew my hand to his mouth and kissed it. I closed my eyes and let his breath be the guide as his lips touched one finger after another, then slid along my arm. I dropped my jacket to the ground. Before I knew it I was enveloped in his arms, savoring the warmth of his body, mixed with the freezing rain, sticking to him as if the water were permanent glue. But the weather was the last thing on my mind at this moment. That touch I’d craved for so long was finally on my skin. Julian’s mouth rested a bit longer on my bare shoulder before grazing up the side of my neck. His thumbs caressed my collar bones as his hands lifted up to cup my face, and that’s when I opened my eyes to look into his beautiful hazel eyes, now shiny and dilated. And it all seemed like a dream. I’d always believed dreams for girls like me never came true – but mine just had, because I was in the arms of a man whom I’d loved for years. I’d always assumed I wouldn’t deserve that man who meant everything to me, who would protect me and cherish me the way Julian had. I’d always thought Julian would be the one who got away.

And within moments I was up in his arms. My legs wrapped around his hips and my hands grasped tightly around his neck. Julian’s palms supported my bottom as he carried me back to the chalet, never breaking our gazes, never ceasing to connect with as much of my skin as he could. Once inside, he lowered me in the foyer, and one by one released the buttons on my shirt. I yanked his soaked t-shirt out of his pants and pulled it over his head.

“No drinking tonight,” he whispered, trailing kisses along my shoulder and my neck.

I knew exactly what he meant, and added with a free giggle I hadn’t heard come out of my mouth for months, “And no weed.”

He cupped my face and traced his finger along my lip. “Promise me you’ll tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”

“I promise.” My chest heaved with anticipation. Could this really be happening, or was I still dreaming? No, nothing this good and real could be a dream, because I’d never want to wake up.

And for the first time in years, he seized my mouth with a crushing kiss. The taste of his perfect lips sailed through me like a freed bird lifted by the wind. The soft skin was warm and tender, fitting against my mouth like it was made for me. My shoulders and arms drooped to my sides. My head spun as we stood there in the hallway, half-undressed and wet, savoring every second of our connection, barely moving and so lost in each other I was afraid I was imagining it. Gravity no longer mattered. I felt the laws of the universe break at my feet; Julian was the one keeping me tied to this world.

The pop of my jeans sent joyful shivers through my entire body. We pulled away, watching each other with intent as the clothes were slowly stripped off. I stepped out of my soaking shoes and he removed his. As we moved across the foyer toward the staircase, we left a meandering path of clothing in the hall. I stood there in my soaked panties and bra, shivering. Julian’s boxers clung to his growing curve. The way he devoured me from the bottom up with his gaze felt like he had set my skin on fire. The swell of my breasts moved higher with every inhale.

Julian sucked a quick breath in. Stepping closer, he drew his finger along my panty elastic, from one hip bone to the other, and my lungs locked up, reveling in the trail of heat left by his touch. Dizzy, I closed my eyes, feeling that warmth spread through me. I may as well have jumped into a radioactive pool, the way heat weaved through my body, turning my over-iced skin into a searing surface.

And without hesitation, he lowered his mouth to mine. A whimper slid from the back of my throat as I let him manipulate my lips with his, learning their curve and texture all over again. His arms supported my hands. I held onto his biceps at first, waiting to see whether Julian was really ready to have me, but as his tongue dipped inside my mouth, I lost any remaining doubts. I opened wider, my hands sliding up to his neck, and drew him in closer and harder, pressing his face to mine until I could feel his teeth against my gums. Seconds later we each couldn’t get enough of the other. His insistent tongue hardened as his mouth sucked every breath I owned, forcing me to pull away for a second just to inhale. I couldn’t catch enough air. Julian watched my face as I gave into his body. It compelled me to lean back against the staircase. He supported me as I sat on one of the steps and spread my legs apart, allowing him to hover over me.

“There’s no going back from this K. Even if I wanted to, I don’t think I could stop now,” he said with a heavy breath.

“I don’t want to go back. I need to move forward.” I reached behind me and unclasped my bra. My breasts spilled out for him as I said, “I’ve never been more comfortable with anyone in my life than with you.”

“Thank God!” he said, diving in for my nipple.

Julian kissed around the pebble, tasting its every imperfection. He grasped my other breast, feeling its minimal weight in his palm. I wondered whether he felt the difference – after all, I hadn’t gained all my weight back just yet – but the thought disappeared with a single lick. He took my sensitive nub between his lips, pulled it up, and then released. A jolt of tingles spread from there all through my body. I squirmed underneath him. His erection dug into my belly as his hips insisted on fitting deeper between my legs. Soon he’d break through the thin fabric of his boxers that separated us.

“I’m all up for dry humping, but I’d much prefer these were off,” I said into his mouth, and then yanked the underwear off his hips.

Julian kept kissing my chest and neck, tasting my skin. He fondled my breasts and grazed along my skin as if discovering it all over again. The gentle scrapes of his shadowed stubble on my skin pulsed in his kiss patterns. His hands lowered to my hips, and this time he said into me, “Tit for tat,” and then pulled off my panties.

Now that was the Julian I remembered – the greedy one who controlled every situation at his hand. I remembered the way he guided my hands to the side, the same way he did now, pinning them in place. He was back! The first man who rocked me and discovered me was about to remind me what explosive sex was supposed to feel like.

“Last chance to back out K.” He regarded me from above with that predatory look I couldn’t say no to. Even if I knew he wouldn’t, I wanted to encourage him. I needed him to know there was nothing more in the world that I wanted.

“Hell will freeze before I do,” I replied, and then captured his mouth again, gently biting on his bottom lip. Wrapping my hands around his neck, I pulled his full weight onto my body. The stair edges dug into my shoulder blades, back, and thighs, but I didn’t care. All I wanted was Julian, right here, right now.

His cock brushed down my pussy, right between the folds, before it dipped into my juices, soaking there, getting ready to plunge. And at that thought, he sank into me, filling me thoroughly, hitting me at my full depth. I pulled away from his hungry mouth, wheezing the air on the inhale.

“You okay?” he asked with a gentler prod. Julian’s thickness was so perfectly snug inside me; I’d forgotten how well we fit together. I squeezed around him, adjusting to his length.

“Yes.” I grasped his ass with my hands, guiding him deeper inside me. My legs wrapped around his lower back, but this position on the stairs wasn’t the most comfortable. “I want to be on my knees.”

Without questioning, Julian removed his thickness from inside me and helped me to flip over. Anchoring my ass high up in the air, I heard him take a deep breath in.

“Holy fuck,” he said.

“Now you get the idea,” I teased.

“Let me take all this in for a moment.”

Julian’s hands landed on my ass cheeks with a gentle slap. He then rubbed the tender muscles, spreading them ever so gently. He lowered his mouth to my shoulder blades and trailed a column of kisses down my spine, all the while molding my behind. One of his hands reached lower to between my legs and played with the wetness around my opening. Once his lips reached the dip in my spine he lifted, adjusted his stance, and buried himself inside me once again. Grateful for the runner on the staircase which cushioned my knees, I braced my hands on the stairs in front of me.

Pushing back and forth, Julian’s rhythm was sensual at first, like he wanted to feel every inch of me around him. I heard my voice drum pleasure in my ears and couldn’t even believe it was mine. Who was that woman releasing such joyful sounds? It had been so long since I’d voiced my desire and pleasure through moans and whimpers. Julian’s rhythm intensified. He held my hips steady, rocking me. I tilted my ass higher, giving him deeper access. His finger drew down my crack to my other hole as he said, “As I remember, you like me playing with this too.”

“Yes,” I whispered, because the swell inside me constricted anything louder. I’d never imagined I could have this ever in my life again. After what had happened, to let a man touch me that way was like jumping into a deep ocean after you’ve drowned once before.

But Julian was my life vest. Our connection had always been there, keeping me afloat, keeping me alive. From that one time we’d been together, he remembered what I enjoyed and how to make my body his. And I was his, only his, until the end of my days.

Working me from behind, his finger played with my ass, prodding gently. My body swayed with his as he drove harder and deeper into me. Even my small tits found a bounce in the tempo. His other hand came to my front where he touched my swollen clit. My entire body tensed for a moment, but in a good way. I didn’t remember this kind of touch ever being that good. It couldn’t be. As soon as he rubbed and flicked me, I couldn’t get enough. I couldn’t wait for that beautiful and willing release to crash through my body to remind me what an orgasm from someone you give yourself to, at your own will, felt like.

The onslaught of his front against my ass continued. The loud echo of our slapping bodies, which were now drenched in not only rain but also our sweat, rang in my ears. My moans and his groans, the smell of our bodily fluids, his aftershave and my deodorant, blended into an arousing aroma; it all fit so perfectly. Julian’s persistent fingers worked my pussy in tight circles, grazing my clit with precision, preparing that deep desire inside me to ignite in a magnificent explosion. The detonation was sudden. I grasped the little fabric of carpet with my fingers as hard as I could and released a scream of pure pleasure I’d been denied for so long.

It roamed through my body over and over again, and Julian kept pulsing his fingers there, reviving my bud that was the source of this beautiful discharge. My little tip was like the end of a fuse that set the fire and sparked, busting through me over and over again as I tried to lengthen my orgasm. The sound of midnight fireworks echoed in the distance and I gave in. Tears fell from my eyes as the final jitters of ecstasy spread through me like lightning, charged by Zeus himself. Hot and flustered, my body shook underneath Julian, unable to contain all the emotions.

He pushed once more and pulled out; his hot eruption hit my back and slid down my spine before it collected in the dip above my ass.

“Ah, fuck!” I heard him say as he grasped his twitching cock and milked the final drops, shaking over me, and then collapsed.

Julian wiped his seed off me with his shirt. He then pulled me into his arms and spooned me there. I fell back on the staircase, unable to find any strength in my body.

Outside, the fireworks continued. From that same spot, without saying a word, we watched them out the window for the next five minutes as they detonated far in the distance. A few months ago, being held by Julian in such an intimate way would have been a dream. It would take a while for me to wrap my mind around it – that this was actually happening, me and him, fully awake, sober and aware of each other, finally connecting our lost souls.

“We should clean up the clothes and go upstairs before the rest of the family returns, K.”

That’s right!

I sat up straight, my gaze darting from our clothes to the front door. “What if they walked in on us?”

“Relax, K. No one’s gonna walk in, at midnight on New Year’s Eve.”

Right, it was a New Year. One I’d just started with a bang!

C
HAPTER
12

A few minutes after midnight we headed upstairs, but for the first time since we’d been in Austria, into the same bedroom: Julian’s. It seemed that the most difficult part, that first step, was over; but inside I shook as if I was once again that young girl who’d just lost her virginity. Awkward silence boomed through the room as I pulled my robe tightly and hung the wet clothes in the bathroom. Should I say something? What do I say?
That was nice, wanna do it again?
Because now, after having experienced that mind blowing sex with Julian downstairs, I craved him more than before. How was this even possible? Lost in thought, I didn’t notice when he came into the bathroom.

Julian wrapped his arms from behind me and kissed me on my cheek. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

I bit my lip. “About how much I enjoyed that.”

Julian nearly growled. “Me too.”

“And how much I want to do it again,” I said quietly. Would he run? Would he take it the wrong way and think I had a different kind of addiction – him? But it wasn’t like that. Julian had to know what I was feeling was normal. Every healthy woman wanted to be loved and caressed and fondled the way I had been.

“I was so hoping you’d say that.”