Layers Off (11 page)

“If you’re tired I can take you home,” he offered, a hit of disappointment trailing on his voice.

“No, it’s good. I need to relax. But let me text that I’ll be late.”

“Already done, K. Sandy and Kim know you’re with me.”

Of course they did. And they knew I was in good hands, too. The Cross brothers were both trusted by my foster parents at the same level they’d trust a priest.

The lights dimmed and trailers began to play on the screen.

“So, what happened to Tristan?” I asked, as it was natural for a girlfriend to ask about a boyfriend.

“Some stuff came up. He’s flying to Washington for three days.” I heard tension in Julian’s voice and wondered whether Tristan’s job was as dangerous as the one when the brothers saved me from the train. “He said he’d text you from the plane.”

“Oh, okay.” I reached for the popcorn, unaware that Julian had at the same time. Our hands touched and a shock of static electricity flew through me, which was weird because we were both sitting, and from what I knew of physics, it shouldn’t have happened at that moment. Our gazes met. His hazel eyes bore through me and I melted like an ice cube submerged in hot coffee. For that split second I felt the same connection we’d had on the train. The delicious pounding between my legs reminded me of him licking me there two months ago. That primal need to be close to each other again surfaced. Julian’s expression changed to a mix of apprehension, need, and confusion. Our hands remained in that bowl of popcorn, connected, until someone decided to pass by us to grab a seat on the other side.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“I’m not,” he replied.

Was he kidding? I wasn’t sure anymore. Julian clearly knew I was dating his brother, obviously didn’t remember we slept together, yet still made remarks that had me analyze his every word. And that didn’t stop me from having intense feelings for him since day one. Butterflies flapped against the wall in my stomach. I tried to focus on the screen without success. Once the movie started, I was able to catch my breath. I made a mental note to watch this romance again, as I couldn’t for the life of me even remember the character’s names. Aware of each time Julian reached for the popcorn, I held my hand flat on my thigh, making sure it wouldn’t fly to the bag all on its own just so that I could feel the touch of his skin again.

“You didn’t cry,” he said after the movie.

“Was I supposed to?”
Crap!
Maybe I should have paid more attention.

“Come on, it was pretty sad – you know, when you can’t be with the person you love, but get to see them live their life right in front of your eyes?”

Was he still talking about the movie?

“Every great love starts with a great story,” I said.

Thank God I remembered at least one line. And the only reason I had was because of our story, mine and Julian’s. We headed out of the theater with me under Julian’s arm. It wasn’t odd for us to be this close, but tonight, it certainly felt like more.

“I had a great time, K. I hope my brother gets a few more of those assignments in Washington just so I can steal you for the night.”

“Tristan doesn’t have to be away for us to spend time together, Julian. You know that.”

“But it feels much more special when it’s just the two of us.”

I knew exactly what he meant. Whenever we were together, Tristan was usually there too – as he should have been – and it just wasn’t the same.

By the time Julian dropped me off at home it was almost eleven. He walked me up the steps, his hand at my lower back. The gentle pressure made me lose my balance and I tripped on the edge. Julian caught me by my elbow, saying, “I’ve got you.”

Yes, he did get me. He always got me, physically and in other ways I couldn’t ever tell him.

Once again Julian lowered his hand to the small of my back, but this time pulling himself toward me. My heart raced. This definitely didn’t feel like spending time with the regular Julian whom I knew as Tristan’s brother. And it definitely felt like more—at least to me it did. Julian leaned forward and left a lingering kiss on my cheek.

“You’re a fun girl, K. Now go to sleep.” He gently slapped my behind as I turned. I found the sting both exciting and unnervingly arousing.

Over the next few months, we spent four more weekends together. We didn’t always go to the movies; instead, we grabbed a bite to eat at a pizzeria, or went to the airport and parked on a roadway just beyond the landing path, watching the monstrous planes land. We talked about the different places we wanted to visit. I knew that was a reality for Julian. The Cross family took plenty of business trips all the time, owned properties on different continents and traveled to the furthest corners of earth, which I’d never get a chance to see. On one of those evenings I told him about my new plans for Kissed. He was as excited about them as that night in his office: a night he didn’t seem to remember. I hadn’t told anyone before Julian, but I had started preparing a marketing plan. He said if I ever needed to launch it, all I had to do was ask.

The idea of owning Kissed – that’s what I’d call it – became that much more real when I shared it with him. Telling Julian about it in a sober state made it seem possible and reachable. As time passed, I became more and more confident that our weekends definitely held date qualities.

Julian’s basement – present day

“I was thinking we should go out on a date,” he said.

Had we both just traveled to the past?

Julian stood behind the pool table. The way he watched me burned through my core. Would that date he was talking about take place in his bedroom? Julian’s entire demeanor screamed lust. He truly was the epitome of sexy with a triple x.

“Are you officially asking me out?” I bit my lip.

“Only if you say yes.” A hint of trepidation trailed on his voice. “We never had a first date, and I’d love to take you out, like to the movies or something.”

Something inside me deflated. Was I expecting too much? As I sank lower in the seat, Julian pulled out a BluRay disk. He stood close enough that I could see Rachel and Ryan on the package, in their breathless embrace.

I sucked in a quick breath and my gaze traveled to his. That spark in his eyes was contagious.

“What do you say, K? Do you believe in second chances?”

You are, and always have been, my dream.
I guess I remembered another line from the first movie we once saw together.

C
HAPTER
10

The excitement of packing for our trip to Vienna filled the house. For the first time in two months I’d interact with someone else than Julian, my doctors, or Clara. Nerves consumed me at the thought of facing my demons, apologizing and making amends. Even more, I was coming here with Julian. We were together, yet so far apart; my need for him had swelled to the maximum as I wondered whether this was it. Was coming here together, to Vienna, the first step forward in our relationship? Could we finally rekindle that night six years ago?

Gabe and Sam’s house looked like it was from a fairy tale. Courtesy of Emma’s and Mrs. Cross’s decorative skills, the ski-like chalet had been transformed into a winter wonderland. Sam and Gabe had exchanged their vows that morning, and I couldn’t have been happier for my friend. She looked absolutely stunning. Now that she was married, the little escapade I insisted the three of us have with her then-boyfriend Gabe embarrassed me. I’d already apologized to them both, first for mixing them in my drug world which had ended with Sam being buried underground, and then for acting like their mistress. Sam as always comforted me, saying our little adventure brought out the woman in her and cleared her thinking as to what she really wanted in a relationship, and that was Gabe. She insisted I’d done her a favor – she’d never have those ‘what if’ questions about other women or threesomes. I sort of felt used after she said that, but I guess it was only fair as
I
had been the one to coerce them both to join my little sex fantasy.

As I strolled through the decorated hallway, I noticed Tristan and Julian standing by the closet door. Their conversation held a mysterious tone, and I wondered what they were talking about. Fighting the immediate guilt boring into my body, I leaned against a beam and listened in.

“She’s well enough now,” Julian said. “If I want to take our relationship further, I need to be honest with her.”

It warmed me to think Julian was thinking about us the same way I was. The anticipation of having him in my bed was beginning to itch me more and more. But I’d wondered what secret he’d held from me.

“It would ruin her and us at the same time,” Tristan replied.

“That’s bull and you know it.” Julian’s jaw clenched.

“It’s not if someone finds out Father was paid millions of taxpayer dollars for this job. What do you think I’ve been doing in Washington all this time? Covering our tracks takes time and connections.”

“It was a job. And we weren’t aware of the details back then.”

“But we are now.”

“Tristan, the bill was passed. Donato will concentrate on moving his money laundering operations instead of on us.”

“You know if you want to eavesdrop you can hear much more from the other side.”

I jumped up. Emma, Tristan’s and Julian’s little sister, startled me.

“I’m not eavesdropping. I’m just waiting for Tristan to be free.”

“And I’m the Queen of England.” She placed her hands on her hips, rolling her eyes in that melodramatic manner of hers.

I knew asking Emma about the brothers conversation could probably give me some answers, but I wasn’t about to use their little sister like that. I’d known her more than half her life and often thought of her as my own sister as well. Whatever they were hiding, I couldn’t involve her.

“I missed you.” She slammed into me with her full force, holding her arms tightly around my still-frail frame. “And our girl talks. You were always the cool one in the family. No one tells it like it is anymore, K. And I can’t really ask Julian or Tristan about boys because they’ll freak out. You know, I once mentioned someone in my grade having sex, and I swear they considered buying a chastity belt for me.”

“And what makes you think I wouldn’t have freaked out if you asked me?” I felt my eyes grow to double their size.

“Because I know you.” She gently stabbed her index finger into my chest. “And you were just like me at my age, so you understand. Come on, K, admit it. You wouldn’t have freaked.”

She was right. Emma knew me better than I did.

“Is someone seriously having sex at that age?” I asked, suddenly feeling as if I were at least forty.

“I just heard a few girls talking about it.” She shrugged.

“And you?”

“Are you kidding? This” – she gestured to her body as if it were some sort of an unattainable treasure – “comes at the price of a good education, book-boyfriend charisma, and waiting at least until I know I’m ready.”

Where were girls like Emma when I was her age? And, did her girlfriends know how lucky they were?

“It’s good to know you have a smart head on your shoulders. But Emma, you know you can ask your mom about these things too.”

She lowered her hands on her hips and assaulted me with one long dirty look. “Who are you and what have you done to my Kendra?”

“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to do the right thing.”

“Well, you should stop trying around me. Besides, you’re so much better at explaining this boys stuff than Mom, and I don’t feel as embarrassed.”

“You embarrassed?” I teased, then gazed back at Julian and Tristan. “I don’t know, Emma. I don’t think I’m that good with boys either.” I paused. “I’ve already messed up one of your brothers, and now it looks like the other one wants to get hurt as well. Julian’s acting weird.”

“You mean like a pussy?”

“Emma!”

“I’ve seen how he is around you. You’re like his little egg he’s afraid to break. And if you ask me, if he waits any longer to make a move, I think his little egg will spoil.” She poked me with her finger again.

“Why do you think that? I’ve been getting better.”

“That’s true, but you’ve been hiding. You’re afraid, and if you don’t soon figure out why, you two will drive each other so far away, it will take a magician to get you back together.”

“Are you really thirteen?”

“Almost fourteen.”

“Right.”

Was Emma right? Would one of us finally have to make a drastic move to get past the pussy-like behavior?

“K, take it from a girl who sees all and hears all. Things aren’t always the way they seem.”

For the second time that night I fought the urge to ask Emma whether she knew what Tristan and Julian were talking about. But if she did, she definitely wasn’t giving it away willingly, and I wouldn’t pry. I couldn’t pry.

“So, how’s high school going? Anyone bothering you?”

I had no doubt Emma could handle whatever challenge was thrown her way, and if she couldn’t, I knew she’d ask for help.

“School’s good. Boys are boring.”

“That’s because they’re not men yet.” I winked. “But don’t worry, you’ll see some hope in few more years. Remember that you’re the one who holds all the cards – not the boys. And despite what some of your friends are doing, you still have a few more years to go, so promise me you won’t rush into... sex.” I whispered the last word.

“See, you’re already breaking through that egg shell.” Emma winked. “And I promise I won’t rush. It’s so good to have you back, K. So I met this guy online and he lives near here. And he’s so smart. He goes to this private school and has been programming these little robots that can do things you wouldn’t imagine.”

I so hoped Emma wasn’t talking about the electronic gadgets I had on my mind. But I didn’t interrupt her. It seemed he was more into computer stuff than mechanics, so I listened as she continued.

“You know, European boys seem so much more mature. He even has a stubble on his face!” She widened her eyes as if that were the most important feature on a man. It didn’t seem like Emma was having any trouble finding a suitable boyfriend after all. The question Emma should have been more concerned with was whether he would pass Julian’s and Tristan’s keen eye.