Katie's Glimpse (The Glimpse Series) (23 page)

“That was wrong,” I
said, settling down into my spot.

He reached over and
gently tugged my hair. “Nah, you deserved it.”

He leaned over Asher
and gave him a kiss before doing the same to me. I closed my eyes feeling more
relaxed than I had in a long time. I had just started to drift off when I heard
him whisper my name.

“Hmm,” I replied
drowsily, not opening my eyes.

“Do you think you’ll
want more kids?”

Shocked at his
question, I was suddenly wide awake and couldn’t stop the image of a beautiful
dark-haired, blue-eyed baby from filling my mind. I took a deep breath. “Honestly,
I never thought I’d get to be married or have another baby but now...” I said
but stopped, not sure if I should go on.

“But now?” he urged
me to continue.

“But now that I’ve
met you, I have hope again,” I whispered.

 He became quiet,
and I wondered what he was thinking. He didn’t make me wait long. “How many
more do you want?” 

I smiled, even
though I knew he couldn’t see it in the dark. “As many as you’ll give me.”

He chuckled softly.
“I love that answer.”

I lay there quietly,
caught up in my hopes and dreams. I wanted to touch him, to just feel him and
know that this was real. I reached a hand over the top of his pillow and slowly
ran my fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. He let out a small groan,
reached up and caught my hand. “That’s not a very good idea,” he whispered.

I pulled my hand
away confused. “Why not?”  

“Uh...it’s just not,”
he answered in a strained voice.

 “Oh, okay,” I
replied before it dawned on me why it bothered him. “Oh! I’m so sorry, Levi. I
just wanted to touch you,” I said and cringed.

He chuckled. “I know,
but just not like that, okay?”

I would have to file
that away as something he liked for a time, if it ever came, when I might be
interested in that sort of thing. “Okay,” I replied and slid my foot over until
I found his. “Is this all right?”

He laughed, shaking the
whole bed. “That’s fine.”

I said a silent
prayer of thanks as I remembered Levi’s promise. I closed my eyes and drifted
off to sleep feeling safe next to him in his bed.

***

     I woke up to
the sound of Asher giggling. I rolled over and squinted at the harsh light of
the lamp. “What time is it?” I croaked out.

“It’s a little
before six. This little stinker gets up early.”  

I groaned, rubbing a
hand down my face. I got up and stumbled to the bathroom to have a few minutes
of privacy. I brushed my teeth and splashed some water on my face before
returning to bed. I looked at my happy baby boy as I settled back down and
noticed something was different.

 “Did you change his
clothes?”

Levi smiled
sheepishly. “Yeah. He got kind of messy with his bottle this morning.”

I cocked my eyebrow
at him. “You already gave him a bottle?”

He chuckled. “Yes,
and I changed his diaper too.”

I smiled
, bless
his sweet heart
. “You didn’t have to do that. You could have woken me up.”

“Nah, you were tired.
Plus, I haven’t gotten to spend much time alone with him. You just don’t know
how right it felt to wake up with his little hands on my face. When I opened my
eyes he was grinning at me and I promise you, he called me Daddy.”

 I shrugged my
shoulders. “He loves you and maybe this time he knew what he was saying,” I
replied.

He smiled at me. “Oh,
he knew. He wasn’t babbling this time. It was just that one word.”

 “And how do you
feel about that?” I asked hesitantly.

“In my heart he’s
already my son, so if he calls me Daddy then he must be feeling it too,” he
said, his voice sounding thick with emotion.

His words blew me
away. Tears of joy rolled down my cheeks as I leaned over and wrapped my arms
around the two people I loved more than life itself.

We stayed in bed
playing with Asher for a while before I scooped him up. “Come on, little man. Let’s
go make your daddy some coffee and let him get ready for work.”

When Levi came into
the kitchen a little later, I had Asher on my hip and breakfast almost ready. I
had his coffee waiting for him on the counter. He came up behind me, wrapping
his arms around us. “You’re going to spoil me. You know that, right?”

I looked back at him
and reached up to touch his hair. It was still damp from his shower. “I plan on
it.”

 He kissed the top
of my head and took Asher from me. They sat down at the table while I dished up
breakfast. I wasn’t sure if Asher could have eggs yet, so I decided to feed him
oatmeal instead.

As I fed him a bite,
I grumbled, “I need to buy a book or look on the Internet to learn what he can
and can’t eat yet. That’s terrible, isn’t it? I should know this stuff.”

 Levi took the spoon
from me and gave Asher a bite. “Hey, it’s fine. You weren’t ready to be a
mother before, but now you are. We’ll do whatever we have to do to learn. I’ll
ask my mom some stuff this afternoon since she’s working the front counter.”

Crap!
I felt even worse at the reminder.
Kathy had been filling in for me since I’d
brought Asher home, and I hated to be a burden. “I’m sorry. I hope she doesn’t
mind covering for me again. What about her writing? I know she has articles to
get done.”

He shook his head.
“She loves helping. Besides, I think she gets lonely in that house by herself,
and you know she can write anytime.”  

I took a deep
breath, steadying myself for a conversation I didn’t want to have. “Levi, I
don’t really want to go back to work anytime soon. I’ve already missed so much
time with Asher. I really just want to be with him. I’ve got some money saved,
so I’ll be okay for a while.”

“Baby, I’ve already
started looking for someone to replace you. I knew you were just working there
to have something to do with your time, and obviously you’ve got plenty to do
now taking care of Ash.”

Relief flooded me,
and I felt silly about not telling him sooner. I’d been struggling with this
decision since I’d come back to Jackson. I hadn’t wanted to disappoint him, but
I should have known better. He truly just wanted me to be happy, no matter
what. We finished our breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen. It was still early,
so I decided to shower before Levi left for work. There was no telling when I’d
get to once he was gone. He followed me into the bedroom before shooing me away
as he settled Asher onto the bed for some play time.

I caught a glimpse
of my hair in the bathroom mirror and cringed. It was an absolute mess. “You
seriously let me walk around all this time with my hair like this?”

He laughed. “What? I
kind of liked it like that.”

I rolled my eyes.
“Please promise me you’ll tell me from now on when I look like a hot mess.”

He laughed even
louder. “You never look like a hot mess. Plus, I really thought your hair
looked kind of wild and sexy.”

I laughed and shook
my head. “I’m closing the door now. Say goodbye to the sexy hair.”

 I closed the door
and heard him speaking to Asher. “Your momma is so hot.”

Eeeww!
I cracked the door open so I could see him.
“That’s gross. Don’t tell him stuff like that.”

He winked and leaned
down, whispering something in Asher’s ear. I laughed and closed the door again.
I love my silly man.

When I was finished,
I took Asher back and walked Levi to the door. He leaned down and gave him a
kiss on the cheek before pulling me in for a long passionate one. I was
breathless when his lips left mine.

“Keep your phone
with you, and call me if you need anything,” he said, looking a little worried.

“We’ll be fine.”

“I know. Just make
yourself at home and do whatever you want here. I’ll see you this afternoon.”

He left and I looked
at Asher. “How about we play all day, sweet boy,” I said and he giggled. I took
that as a yes, and we did exactly that.

I decided that after
the paternity test on Wednesday, Asher and I would go back to staying at the
apartment. I loved being at Levi’s house, but I didn’t want Asher to get used
to staying there, and if I was being honest with myself, neither did I. Levi
wasn’t happy about it but said he understood. I knew he just wanted us to be
safe, and he felt that we were the safest with him.

On Wednesday morning,
we got up early and got ready to face the day. Levi packed the diaper bag and we
were ready to go by nine. I felt nervous on the ride to the hospital, even
though I was pretty certain how the test would turn out.

 
As we made our way
down the long empty hallway, fear tried to overtake me. I recited Isaiah 41:13
to myself, “For I am the Lord your God, the One who takes hold of your right
hand and says to you, Don’t be afraid, I am helping you”. I felt the fear fade
away as we continued down the hall. I held my beautiful son on my hip and
Levi’s hand in mine. We were a united front with the Lord guiding our way.

 We turned a corner
and found the lab’s entrance. I gave my name to the receptionist. She checked
it off a list and told us to have a seat. Levi led us to a row of chairs
against the wall. He sat down next to me, putting my bags in the chair next to
him. I held Asher in my lap facing me, where he was content to play with my
necklace. He was babbling and trying to get it into his mouth when the door opened.
I looked up as Seth walk in. Startled, I sucked in a breath.
 
I felt my heart
rate increasing as I glanced over at Levi. His eyes tracked to Seth before
cutting to mine. “I didn’t know he’d be here at the same time. I should have
figured he’d do it just to upset me, though,” I whispered. Levi nodded his head
in agreement.

Seth walked straight
to the desk without noticing us. I prayed that God would make us invisible to
him. Asher let out a loud giggle and Seth turned at the sound. He saw us and
smiled. It looked like a genuine smile, but I knew better. I looked down; I
couldn’t bring myself to smile back. He finished up at the desk and came to sit
in the empty chair beside me.

“I’m glad you showed
up,” he said, ignoring Levi.

Asher turned his
head towards his voice, and Seth smiled as he studied his face. “This is Asher,
huh? He looks like you.”

 I held him closer
to my chest, rubbing his back. He giggled and said, “Momma.”  

“Well, at least he
knows who his momma is,” he said snidely.

I felt Levi’s leg
tense against mine, but he didn’t say anything.
Give us strength Lord,
I
prayed
.

 
Seth’s face turned to one of disgust.
“I still can’t believe you hid him all this
time.”

 “I did what I thought
was best for my son,” I replied in a calm voice.

 “He’s my son too.
Now, let me hold him,” he said firmly and reached for him, but Levi beat him to
it. He took Asher and stood him up in his lap.

 I looked into Seth’s
eyes as I spoke, “Not yet. He doesn’t know you well enough and he might get
upset.”

Asher
chose that moment to squeal out “dada” as he began to attack Levi with an open
mouth. Levi chuckled softly as he leaned over and dug a teething toy from
Asher’s diaper bag.

Seth
leaned around me, glaring at him. “How pathetic! You taught him to say that,
didn’t you?” he said, his voice rising with each word.

Levi gave
him a sincere smile. “I didn’t teach him to say anything. He calls me Daddy
because to him, that’s who I am.”

Seth
glared at me.
“Will you at least
turn him this way so I can see his face and talk to him?” He softened his
voice, “Please, I want to get to know
my
son.”

I took a calming
breath and turned to Levi. He leaned over to me and whispered, “It wouldn’t be
good for him to know the truth with you and Ash sitting this close. As much as
I hate it, you just need to play along.”

I nodded my head and
moved Asher to my lap. Seth leaned down and touched his baby soft hair. “I remember
seeing my baby pictures. I had blond hair too, but it was never this light.” I
just shrugged my shoulders. Seth patted him on the head like a dog. I clamped
my mouth shut because I knew anything I said would just make everything worse.
“His eyes are so blue,” he said, looking up at my face.

I tried to stay
calm, and focused on keeping my face blank. I felt Levi’s leg tense against
mine again. “Lots of babies have blue eyes. They change color as they get
older.” I replied and was amazed at how normal my voice sounded.

He touched Asher’s
cheek. “Really? I didn’t know that.”

I glanced over at
Levi and watched as his entire body seemed to relax. I didn’t know if what I’d
said was true or not, but it seemed to satisfy Seth, so I was glad for that.

The woman at the
desk called our names. We stood up along with Levi, but the woman held her hand
up. “I’m sorry, but only the people named in the court order can be present for
this test. You’ll have to wait out here, sir,” she said to Levi.

He didn’t take this
news well and looked like he might snap at any second. I stretched up on my
tiptoes, trying to get close to his face. “We’ll be fine. We won’t be alone.” He
shot Seth a hard look before taking his seat again.

We were shown into a
small room with lab chairs. I was directed to one and Seth the other. “Are you
going to have to stick him with a needle?” I asked the lab tech.

  “No. We only do
cheek swabs on the little ones.”

I felt better about
that at least. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Seth smile wickedly. “So how
are things with your new boyfriend?”  

I kept my answer
brief so not to provoke him. “Good.”

 He furrowed his
brow like he was thinking of something else he could say or do to get to me. I
heard him sigh and figured he gave up. I smiled and said a silent thank you to
God.

The lab tech drew
Seth’s blood first, and then swabbed his cheek. I hoped he would leave when she
was done, but that was wishful thinking. He stayed put.

Asher was next and
he seemed to like the feel of the swab in his mouth. He tried to chew on it and
both Seth and I laughed.

Then it was my turn
and Asher was starting to squirm. The tech swabbed my cheek quickly and said,
“Can someone else hold him so I can draw your blood?”

Seth stood up. “I
can.”

 I reluctantly let
him take Asher from my arms. I watched him as he awkwardly tried to adjust him.
Obviously, he’d never held a baby before. He seemed to figure it out though and
got him settled on his hip. He looked into Asher’s face and said, “
I’m
your daddy.”

My heart fell. I
hoped Seth’s words didn’t confuse him, but Asher did me proud. At the word “daddy”,
he began to look around the room for Levi. This didn’t go unnoticed by Seth. I
saw his lips press into a thin line. Asher, unable to find his daddy, turned
back to Seth and tried to stick his fingers up his nose. I watched in horror as
Seth swatted his hand hard and blurted out, “No, Asher.” 

My sweet boy
puckered his lips and began to cry. I jumped out of the chair so quickly I
ripped the needle out of my arm. I snatched my son away from him and got up in
his face. I poked my finger in his chest as I spoke, “Don’t ever put your hands
on my son again! He is just a baby. You don’t spank a baby. Do you understand
me?”

Seth’s eyes grew
wide, and he took a step back. I was livid and didn’t even notice the blood
pouring from my arm until the lab tech grabbed some gauze and applied pressure.

She turned to Seth.
“We’re done here. You need to go ahead and leave.”

He walked away without
saying a word. I looked at the tech as she bandaged my arm. “Thank you for
that,” I said softly.

She laughed. “Girl,
I wasn’t worried about you. I was afraid for him.”

I laughed and
cuddled Asher; he’d finally stopped crying. I looked down at the red spot on
his chubby little hand and it broke my heart. I brought it to my lips, kissing
it. His lip quivered as he said, “Momma.”

 I kissed it again.
“Oh, baby. Momma will make it better.”

I carried Asher back
into the waiting room where Levi paced the floor. He took one look at Asher’s
tear stained face and asked, “Why was he crying?” 

I showed him Asher’s
red hand. “Seth spanked him.”

“What!” he growled
out. “What do you mean he spanked him?” he asked in a lower voice, taking Asher
in his arms. He held his red hand tenderly and kissed it. “I’m so sorry he did
that to you, baby boy.” Asher laid his head on Levi’s shoulder and began to
suck his thumb.

“Someone had to hold
Asher for the tech to draw my blood, and he was the only one there.” I proceeded
to tell him what Seth had done.

When I finished,
Levi had a hard look in his eyes. “I’m going to kill him,” he muttered.

I gasped. “Levi,
don’t say things like that. You don’t have to worry about it anyway. I handled
it.”

He raised his brows.
“You handled it? How?” I told him what I’d done and what the lab tech had said.
He chuckled. “I’m impressed, baby. Don’t you see how God is answering your
prayers and giving you strength? You didn’t cower down to Seth. You stood up
for yourself and for Asher. I’m proud of you. I’d still like to hurt him for
putting his hands on that baby, but I’m going to let it go because that’s what
God expects from me.”

 “You’re exactly
right,” I said and smiled. “Oh, I almost forgot. Seth told him
he
was
his daddy. When Asher heard the word, he looked around for you. It was like he
was saying ‘I already have a daddy.’”

Levi grinned and
rubbed Asher’s back. “That’s my boy.”

***

We went back to
Levi’s house where I fed Asher and put him down for a nap. Levi stepped out to
check the mail. He returned with a large manila envelope in his hand. He laid
it on the counter and joined me in the kitchen for lunch.

“I need to call my
parents and let them know what Seth did,” I said as we finished cleaning up the
kitchen.

“Okay, but first I
need to talk to you about something.” The look on his face said it was serious.

I swallowed hard. That
was never a good thing to hear. He picked up the manila envelope from the
counter and led me to the couch. He handed it to me, and I gasped when I saw my
parents return address in the corner. There was only one thing my parents would
mail to him.
Oh my gosh! This is what Dad and Levi talked about on the phone
the night Seth came over.

I felt the color
drain from my face as I fought back my panic. “Did my dad tell you about these
pictures on the phone that night?” Levi didn’t respond. He just looked at me,
sadness filling his eyes. “Please, I’m begging you. Don’t look at them. You
don’t need to see me like that.”

 He pried the
envelope from my hands. “I have to see them, Katie. I need to know what he did
to you.”

 I hung my head as
the tears fell. “I never told you about the pictures for a reason,” I
whispered.

He lifted my chin to
face him. “And what reason was that?” he asked gently.

“These were taken the
night I was raped. I was so messed up,” I replied mournfully.

He slowly took a
deep breath and ripped the envelope open, the sound shattering the silence of
the room.

“Have you seen
these?” he asked before pulling the pictures out. I shook my head. “Are you sure
you want to?”

 “If this has to
happen then we’re going to do it together,” I replied.

 I held my breath as
he slid them all out in a pile. They were 8x10’s and thankfully, came out face
down. I tensed as he flipped over the one on top.

Levi groaned when he
saw the color image of the large bruise on my upper back. I noticed my mom’s
hand holding up my hair. There was a square ruler held against the bruise that
showed it was six inches long and three inches wide. Levi flipped it back over
and laid it on the table.

He turned the next
one over. It was a close up of the faded bruise on my shoulder. It measured
three inches long and two inches wide by the ruler. He set that one down and
moved to the next. This was a close up of one of the hand print bruises on my
upper arms. I could distinctly make out the finger shapes and fingernail gouges
on the ends. Levi laid it face down and shook his head. He turned over the next
one. It was the same but only the other arm.

He came to the last
one, and flipped it over quickly. When I saw it, I yelled out a curse word as I
flew back against the couch and covered my mouth. I was not a person that
cursed, but I was so shocked by the picture, I couldn’t help it.

It was of me from
the waist up, in only my bra. The hand print bruises were visible on both arms,
but that’s not what shocked me. It was how I looked in general, like a wounded
wild animal. My eyes were huge and my pupils were so dilated, I could barely
see the amber color around the edges. The skin below my eyes was a dark purple
color and my hair was a crazy mess. I’d never seen it like that before. The
worst though, was my face. It was completely blank, no expression, like I
wasn’t even inside my body.