Katie's Glimpse (The Glimpse Series) (26 page)

 He sighed but
didn’t say anything. He picked up Asher from the floor. “Hey, buddy. Let’s go
play.”

They disappeared
into the other room, and I went back to preparing dinner. It was almost ready,
so I made my way into the living room and spotted Levi sitting on the floor
playing with Asher.

I sat down beside
him and watched their sweet interactions. Asher rolled around as Levi tickled
him and growled. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I hated to
interrupt their time together, but Asher had to eat. I scooped him up from the
floor and took him to the table to feed him.

“I’m going outside
to water the plants,” Levi called out.

 “Okay, you do what
you normally do,” I replied.

 I heard the door
close.
Uh oh, something is up.
This wasn’t like him. He seemed distant.

 I already had
dinner on the table and was almost done feeding Asher when he finally came back
inside. As we ate, I asked him about his day. Part of me hoped something
happened after I left to put him in a bad mood, but he said his day was fine. I
knew all along it was because of how I acted in his office, but I wasn’t about
to bring that up. If it bothered him, then he would have to talk to me about
it.

We finished dinner,
and I got up to clean the kitchen. He picked up Asher. “I’m going to go give
him a bath,” he said.

 I looked over at
him and smiled. “Thanks,” I replied.

He headed off to the
bathroom. I finished up in the kitchen and padded down the hall. I peeked into
the bedroom and found Levi leaning over the bed putting Asher’s pajamas on him.
I walked over and patiently waited until he was finished.

I scooped Asher up
and smelling the familiar scent on his skin, I smiled.
He remembered to use
baby lotion.
“I’m going to make him a bottle and see if I can get him to
sleep for the night. Will you bring the playpen in here for me?” I asked.

He smiled, but it
didn’t reach his eyes. “Sure, but first I need to clean up all the water in the
bathroom from Hurricane Asher.”

I laughed and looked
down at his wet clothes. “It looks like he got you too.”

 He grinned and
started to strip off his shirt before I had a chance to leave the room. I
stopped at the door and watched him.
How much would he actually take off in
front of me?
He took off his belt before he noticed me still standing
there. He stopped and just looked at me. “I thought you were going to make a
bottle,” he said with a smirk.

“I am. I was just
enjoying the show,” I said and heard him chuckle as I darted down the hall.

He joined me on the
couch after a few minutes, wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt. Asher had just
started his bottle and was already getting sleepy. Levi turned on the TV and
flipped through the channels, stopping when he found a yard remodel show.

I smiled and shook
my head. “I guess it’s a good thing I like these shows.”

 He smiled, but his
eyes never left the TV. I looked down and noticed he’d left a space between us
on the couch. It kind of hurt my feelings. I missed the Levi that held me close
and kissed me until I was breathless.

When Asher was done,
I whispered, “I’m going to put him down and take a shower.”

He glanced over at
me and nodded. I leaned over and kissed his lips gently. He kissed me back, but
I noticed his hesitancy. Feeling dejected, I got up off the couch and carried
Asher to the bedroom. I closed the door behind me and fought back tears. I put
Asher down in the playpen and headed into the bathroom. I decided to leave the door
open so I could hear him if he woke up. I started the water and stepped in. I
took a quick shower and had just shut the water off when I heard Asher’s cry. I
got out, grabbed a towel and threw it around me. I stepped into the bedroom and
my eyes met Levi’s. He stood there holding an awake and crying Asher. I saw his
eyes roam over my body for a moment before he looked away. I knew he couldn’t
see much for the towel.

“Uh, I heard him
crying while you were in the shower.”

Oh! I guess he
got an eyeful already then.
I blushed, grabbed my pajamas, and rushed back into the bathroom, closing the
door behind me. I hurriedly dried myself off, dressed and combed my hair, but
noticed I no longer heard Asher’s cry- instead I heard Levi humming.

I stepped out of the
bathroom as he put him back down in his playpen. “Is he asleep?” I whispered.

“Yeah,” he replied.
I walked over, took his hand and led him back to the couch. We didn’t speak for
a few minutes.

I turned to face him
and finally asked. “How much did you see?”

“Quite a bit,” he
said and actually blushed.

I laughed and shook
my head. “Why are you embarrassed?” He didn’t answer and dread suddenly filled
me. Hesitantly I asked, “Did you not like what you saw?” I looked away quickly
and swallowed.

He gently grabbed my
face and turned it so our eyes met. “Katie, you have a beautiful body. I was
embarrassed because I couldn’t look away.”

This wasn’t what I had
expected to hear. “Oh,” I said and smiled, happy he felt the same way about my
body as I did about his.

We didn’t say much
else as we sat there. He held my hand but there was no cuddling or kissing, and
it left me a little blue. I yawned and knew my eyes wouldn’t stay open for much
longer, so I decided to go to bed. I dragged myself into Levi’s bedroom and
pulled back the covers on the bed before climbing in. He followed me but stood
in the doorway, not coming into his room. I gave him my best smile and patted
the spot on the bed next to me. 

He chuckled but
shook his head. “No, I better sleep in the guest room tonight.”

My smile instantly
fell. He walked over to the bed, leaned down and gave me a chaste kiss. “I love
you,” he said, sounding tired.

“I love you too,” I
replied, my heart breaking a tiny bit.

 He left and went
across the hall to the guest bedroom. I heard the bed squeak under his weight
as he got in. I didn’t want to sleep without him. I reached over and felt the cold,
empty spot next to me and couldn’t stop the tear that slipped from my eye, or
the next one, or the next still. I wiped them away and closed my eyes, hoping
sleep would find me soon. I heard Levi’s sigh and knew he missed me too.

I tossed and turned
and finally gave up on sleep. I rolled onto my back and listened to the sounds
of the house instead. After a while, I noticed Levi’s steady breathing and knew
he’d fallen asleep. I wondered what he would do if I snuck in and tried to
sleep next to him.
Would he let me, or would he turn me away?
I had a
feeling I knew which one he’d choose, but I was becoming a little desperate. I
needed him like I needed air to breathe.

Decision made, I
quietly crept out of bed and slipped out of the room. I crossed the hall but
stopped in the doorway. My heart raced as I tried to prepare myself for his
possible rejection. I tiptoed over to the bed and slipped in beside him. He
didn’t have a shirt on and as I placed my hand on his chest, his eyes flew
open. “Katie, what are you doing?” he whispered.

“I missed you. I
can’t sleep without you next to me,” I whispered back.

He pulled me close.
I rested my face against his bare chest and wrapped my leg around his.

He gently pushed my
leg off and said in a strained voice, “Baby, you need to stay on your side of
the bed.”

I frowned. “But I
just want to be close to you.” Levi took a deep breath but before he could
speak, I leaned up and kissed him. He kissed me back, threading his fingers
into my hair. I heard him make a low sound in his throat and something inside
of me snapped. I broke our kiss and out of nowhere asked, “Will you make love
to me, Levi.”

He stilled instantly.
“Katie, don’t do this to me,” he whispered as he slipped his hands from my hair
and gently nudged me away. I saw the answer on his face before he spoke. “It breaks
my heart to tell you no, but I have to. It’s not that I don’t want to make love
to you. Believe me, I do, but when I made my promise to God, I meant it. I
won’t break that, no matter how much I love you,” he said, his voice full of
pain.

 I closed my eyes
for a second, trying to contain my emotions so I could speak. “I’m not scared
anymore, and I don’t know how to handle these feelings I’m having for you,” I
said honestly.

He cupped my face in
his hands. “Baby, it means so much to hear you say that. You’ve just got to
hang on until we’re married. I know you can make it. Be strong for me, for us,
please.”

 “I know you’re
right, but this is so difficult.” I slowly got up from his bed and stumbled across
the hall to the other room. I closed the door and climbed into bed as my tears
started to fall again. I muffled my cries in the pillow that still smelled of
him.

I heard Asher babble
and opened my eyes as I tried to find the switch to the lamp. I fumbled around
and finally got it turned on. I looked at the bedside clock. It was 5:30am.
Hey,
that’s better than yesterday
. I got out of bed and picked him up.

In his sweet baby
voice, he called out, “Momma.”

I smiled at my
beautiful son and whispered, “Yes, baby, it’s Momma.”

 I laid him on the
bed and changed his diaper, before taking him to the bathroom to do my morning
routine. I crept into the kitchen for a bottle, shushing Asher along the way. I
didn’t want to wake Levi, not after last night. My broken heart wasn’t ready to
face him yet.

Surrounded by
darkness, I cuddled Asher on the couch and fed him. The chill in the room caused
goose bumps to erupt on my arms, so I grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch
and swaddled us. Warm and relaxed, my eyes began to droop. I stretched out and
tucked Asher between my body and the couch. I yawned and decided to close my
eyes for just a second.

Suddenly remembering
I was on the couch with Asher, my eyes flew open. I was confused for a second
as I took in the sunshine streaming through the front window. I glanced down at
the still sleeping Asher and got up quietly to peek at the clock, it read 9:15am.
Good grief, I can’t
believe we both slept so late.
I noticed a
note on the counter and grabbed it, hurrying back to the couch.

    
You looked
too peaceful to wake up. I hope you have a good day. Call me if you need
anything. Love you both, Levi

     His note made
me wonder if he wasn’t ready to face me either. I decided last night, after I
quit crying, that the best thing for everyone would be for me to go back to my apartment.
I didn’t want to make Levi uncomfortable by being here if it was too difficult
for him. I knew I hadn’t made it any easier. It was hard on me to be so close
and resist my strong feelings towards him. I said a prayer asking God for
strength and guidance. Deep down, I did want Levi to keep his promise to God,
so I had to take the temptation away as best I could. That meant no more
overnights with him.

I quickly packed our
things, before waking Asher and heading to the apartment. It was nice to be in
my own place again, even though I’d miss all the extra time with Levi. I
finally called him after I unloaded the car and settled Asher with a bottle.

“Hey,” I said when
he answered.

“I was about to call
you. Is everything okay? I was worried since I haven’t heard from you.”

“Everything’s fine. I
was just busy. I went ahead and packed up our things. We’re back at the
apartment now. I think it’s best that we stay on our own again,” I said
quickly, hoping this wouldn’t start a fight.

There was silence on
his end. “Katie, don’t do this,” he finally said.

  “It’s already
done,” I replied.

 “Fine,” he said in
a clipped tone.

It killed me that
our conversations since yesterday at the nursery, felt strained.

“Can I come by after
work?” he asked.

“Sure. I’ll have
dinner ready for you.”

More awkward silence
followed. “Listen, about last night-” he started to say, but I interrupted him.
“I don’t want to talk about it right now. I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”

I heard the sadness
in his voice as he said, “I love you too.”

We said goodbye, and
I hung up. I let out a deep breath as I dropped to my knees and prayed, “Please,
Lord, don’t allow me to use the promise he made to You against him. I love You
and want to please You too. I feel so distant from him. Please heal my hurt,
Lord, and help me have self-control.”

I spent the rest of
the day cleaning and entertaining Asher. I danced around the apartment with him
on my hip, loving the sound of his delighted squeals. We played peek-a-boo and
itsy bitsy spider until my fingers cramped. His sweet personality showed in all
that he did, from the things he liked to the things he didn’t. He kept me on my
toes, and I loved it.

I fed him and put
him down for a nap, taking this moment of peace to shower and get myself ready.
The day had been smooth so far. I even had time to eat lunch. As I scooted his
toys over and sat down, I thought about my new life, a life I never dreamed
would be possible for me, and knew it had God’s loving hand all in it. He did
this through His never-ending mercy and grace. I knew, no matter what, God
loved me.

I glanced up at the
clock and decided to call Hallie. It was past time to talk to her.

“Hey, Hallie. How
are you?” I asked when she answered.

 “I’m great. I hear
you’re finally admitting that Asher is yours,” she said and laughed.

What? She already
knew?
“You say that like
you’ve known all along,” I replied.

“That’s because I
have,” she simply stated.

 “H-how could you
have known? We didn’t tell anyone,” I stammered out.

“Katie, you’ve been
my best friend since the third grade. I know you, girl. You acted differently
after you broke up with Seth, scared and sad. When you left and told me it was
because your mom was pregnant, I knew right then it was really you.”

I didn’t know what
to say, so after a minute of silence, Hallie spoke again, “Look, I understand
why you didn’t tell anyone. Seth treated you terribly. The whole school knew
how mean he was to you. He didn’t even try to hide the fact that he pushed you
around. I knew you were scared of him, and you had a right to be. You and your
parents just did what you thought was best. I played along because I thought
that was what you wanted.”

 Tears stung my eyes.
“You don’t know how many times I wanted to tell you. I was so ashamed and
scared. I was afraid I’d lose you if you knew,” I choked out.

“Katie, I love you.
You are like my sister. You would never lose me no matter what, and I’m proud
you’re raising him now.”

I dried my face on
my sleeve and smiled. I was proud of myself too. “I’ve got some other news.
Levi asked me to marry him.”

She squealed so
loudly I had to hold the phone away from my ear. “That is wonderful. The way
you talked about him, I knew you were in love.”

I could hardly
contain my joy. “I am and the best part is he loves Asher like his own son. You
should see him with Ash, he’s amazing. Even after all I’ve done, the Lord
continues to bless me. Now, enough about me, let’s talk about you. What’s
happening in your life?”  

She giggled. “I’ve
met someone. I really think he’s the one too. His name is Brandon, and he’s
studying pre-med. I’m so happy, Katie.”

“Oh, I’m so happy
for you. Tell me all about him.”

 We spent the next thirty
minutes catching up. I told her how much I missed her and promised to let her
know as soon as we set a date for the wedding. We said our goodbyes and hung
up. I shook my head in awe. I wasn’t alone, even from the beginning. I had the
Lord and Hallie, if only I had opened my eyes to see it back then.

I checked the time,
noting it was already four. I decided to make my mom’s famous lasagna for
dinner. Asher woke up happy, and I put him on my hip and hurried to the
kitchen. I wanted everything to be perfect for Levi.

Dinner was ready
when I heard him knock. I opened the door and there he stood with a gorgeous smile
and a bouquet of red roses. I tried not to swoon as I took the bouquet from his
outstretched hand. “Thank you, Levi. They’re beautiful,” I said, my voice breathy.

“You are very
welcome, though I don’t feel like it’s enough to make up for last night,” he
replied.

I brushed off his
comment and led him inside. He spied the lasagna on the stove and grinned. “Did
you know that was my favorite?”

I shook my head. “Nope,
it just sounded good to me today.”

He leaned down and
cupped my face in his hands. “I love you, Kaitlyn Crane.”

I closed my eyes,
enjoying his touch. I’d missed it so much. “And I love you, Levi Phillips.”  

He released me too
soon, and I tried not to pout. I opened the cabinet for a pretty glass and after
finding one, put my flowers in water.

He picked up Asher
from his playpen, snuggling him close. Asher smiled and said, “Dada,” plainly.

He kissed him on the
head. “I missed you today, little man,” he said as he buckled him into his high
chair.

We ate and took
turns feeding Asher, who babbled between bites. I felt so much better, the
distance between us now closed, but we still needed to discuss what I’d done.

I took a deep
breath. “I want to apologize for how I acted last night. It was wrong for me to
pressure you. I prayed for God to give me more self-control. I know that’s why
you were keeping your distance and not because you didn’t want me.”

He placed his hand
over mine. “You don’t have to apologize. There is nothing wrong with what you
feel for me. And yes, I do want you just as much, if not more, than you want
me. We just can’t act on it yet. We’ll get through this and on our wedding
night it will have all been worth it.”

I nodded my head and
gave him a quick kiss. I loved this man and his beautiful heart so much.

He broke the kiss
and his steady gaze met mine. “Is that why you moved back to your apartment?”  

 “Yes. It’s just too
difficult being there with you all night and not being able to love you the way
I want to.”

He frowned. “I know,
baby. I’m still not happy with y’all being here by yourselves, but I’ll just
have to give that to the Lord,” he said.

 We finished up our
dinner and bathed Asher. Levi fed him a bottle and put him to bed. He came back
and sat next to me on the couch.

He pulled me close
and said, “There are a couple of things I need to discuss with you.”

I swallowed
nervously at his words but relaxed when he smiled. “The first thing concerns
your parents paying all your bills. That’s going to stop, now. You two are my
responsibility, so everything gets paid by me.”

I shook my head. “We
aren’t married yet. They aren’t your bills to pay.”

 “You and Ash are already
my family. I don’t need a marriage license to tell me that, and I will take
care of my family.”

I wasn’t about to
argue with that. He obviously felt strongly about it, and I felt as if we were
already a family too.

I waited for him to
go on. “The second thing is we need to set a date to get married. I know I’m
ready now, but are you?” he asked with a knowing grin.

I laughed. “Levi,
you know I am. I can hardly wait for you to get off work. I want to go to sleep
with you by my side at night and wake up in your arms in the morning. I want to
cook your meals and do your laundry. I want to take care of you like you take
care of us. I’m ready to be at your side for the rest of my life.”

He stroked my face
and kissed me passionately. When he pulled away we both smiled. “I missed you
kissing me like that,” I whispered.

“Well, we can’t have
that,” he said, his voice husky.

He gave me another
kiss that left me weak in the knees. I pushed him away gently and cleared my
throat. “Let’s pick a date right now,” I said and pulled out my phone to look
at the calendar.

He studied the
dates. “Let’s go with the end of June,” he said.

I glanced up at his
face, he was serious. “Levi, that’s just a month away.”

 A sly grin crossed
his face. “Hmm, you’re right. Maybe that’s too long to wait.”  

I managed to laugh
at his joke, even though my brain was already occupied with wedding thoughts.
Could
we really put a wedding together in a month?

“I’ll have to talk
to my mom and see if she thinks it’s possible,” I said.

“My mom will help in
whatever way she can. She loves you so much and has been asking when she could
keep her grandson again.”

 I smiled at the
thought of Kathy’s kindness and how she dropped everything to help take care of
us when I was hurt. “I’ll call her tonight.”

I closed my eyes and
visions of the evening he proposed filled my head, giving me a wonderful idea.

“I don’t know what
type of wedding you had in mind, but I’d like to keep it simple. I was never
one of those little girls who dreamed of a castle wedding, with tons of people
and a dress that had a mile long train. I actually think it would be great to
have the ceremony at your house out by the lake. We could have it at sunset.”

Levi grinned and
looked relieved. “If that’s what you want, I’ll make it happen. I’m glad I
don’t have to find a castle, but I would have for you.”

I gave him a sweet
kiss and had no doubt he’d do anything to make me happy.