Katie's Forever Promise (8 page)

“Certainly.” The woman smiled as she punched in letters on her keyboard. “Third floor, room 320.”

Moments later Katie and Willis stepped out of the elevator onto the third floor. A waiting room was off to the right. No Amish were present.

So Ben's family must have been here and left for the day. That was
gut
, Katie decided. The less people who learned of this visit, the better. Thankfully,
Da Hah
was helping her out, making the path smooth in front of her.

Approaching room 320 with Willis behind her now, Katie pushed open the door and peered inside. It was Ben on the bed
all right, although his face looked quite pale against the white pillow. He must be sleeping, she decided. Maybe they needed to wait around until he awoke? If he was injured badly, Ben needed all the sleep he could get.

Suddenly Ben's eyes flew open, and he caught sight of Katie. His eyes grew large, and she saw hope mixed with joy swimming in them. She knew those eyes well. She clasped her hands together as she struggled with her emotions. She was here for a specific purpose only, and she mustn't forget that.

“You've come!” Ben whispered.

Katie forced herself to move closer. Thankfully, Willis was sticking right by her side or she would surely have turned to run out of this room. Her pounding heart was reason enough to flee. She mustn't fall for Ben's wiles again. Slipping over to the hospital chair, Katie sat down as calmly as she could and folded her hands on her lap.

“I asked Katie to come with me,” Willis offered. “We're all sorry to hear about last night.”

“Oh that,” Ben said dismissively, his gaze focusing on Katie's face. “I'm so thankful you've come. I don't deserve to see you, but I have to tell you how sorry I am, Katie, for what I did to you. It was so wrong of me. I want you to know I've changed my ways.” Ben struggled to sit up, but he gave up at once. His head fell back on the pillow.

“Katie understands,” Willis said, trying to help. “She forgives you or she wouldn't have come.”

Katie knew she needed to speak for herself. She forced the words out. “I do forgive you, Ben, I really do. But things can never be the same between us. I hope you aren't thinking such thoughts.”

Sorrow filled his face, but Ben nodded. “I will pray
Da Hah
heals your heart of what I have done.”

Now why did Ben say that? Katie thought. Her heart was
already healed, and she'd moved on. Obviously Ben had something else in mind when he spoke of healing. Well, Ben could pray. Prayer was always
gut
even when it seemed to go unanswered.

“How was your night?” Katie forced herself to speak again. “Are you going to be okay?”

Ben attempted a smile. “Difficult. But Brenda was here during the surgery. She stayed until this morning sometime. Yes, I'm going to recover.”

Silence settled in the room. Katie glanced away from Ben's face and then back again. How helpless he appeared. So broken. He didn't appear evil at all. Not like she'd expected or built up in her mind. How could he not be evil after what he'd done? After he'd tricked her? Was she being deceived again by his charm? Katie took a deep breath and gathered herself together. “We'd best be going. There's no school today because of the shooting, but there's always work around the house.”

“Take care then,” Willis said, giving Ben a smile. “We'll all be praying for your quick recovery.”

She should say the same thing, Katie thought. She did wish Ben well. But the words stuck in her throat. She wanted to give him a goodbye hug right now, but that was out of the question. Katie turned and quickly followed Willis out of the hospital room. Perhaps it would have been wise, Katie thought, if she'd visited Ben in jail. Surely there she would have seen the evil in him. Then she'd be spared the current of confusing emotions coursing through her. But she hadn't, so this was the way to get it done. Now, in a few days when Norman drove her home, he could have her full attention. What a relief that would be—finally putting Ben Stoll behind her for
gut
.

Chapter Seven

Willis drove Sparky out of town some ten minutes later, allowing the horse to settle into a steady trot. Katie sat beside Willis as wild thoughts rushed through her head. What in the world was wrong with her? Never in her wildest dreams had this been the expected outcome of this trip. She was thinking
gut
thoughts of Ben after seeing him in his hospital room. He'd appeared so humble and broken, lying helplessly on that bed. How could she feel this way? She was finished with him. He simply could not be trusted. He was a charmer and a bewitcher of the heart—of
her
heart. Nothing
gut
had come out of their relationship. How could anything
gut
come out of it from here on out?

Katie almost groaned out loud. What was she going to tell
Mamm
when she got home?
Mamm
would know how she was feeling. There was no hiding this from her discerning eyes. Willis didn't seem to notice as he casually held the reins while seated beside Katie. This was a breach of the highest order, Katie realized. Yes, she had to admit her heart was still pounding from the sight
of Ben. How could this be? She'd even been tempted to hug Ben before they left! The shame of it burned up and down her neck.

What would happen if Norman found out she still had feelings for Ben? To say nothing of his
daett
. And Norman planned to drive her home on Sunday night! She couldn't change that. And she didn't really want to…did she? What a horrible mess! Why had she allowed Willis to talk her into this visit? If she'd just stayed home, everything would have been okay. Ben might eventually have come to church, but her reaction would have been different there. It was seeing him so helpless that did this to her heart. That was the answer. It had to be.

Willis drove past Byler's, and Katie glanced in. Perhaps she should ask Willis to stop for a minute so she could speak with Arlene. They'd always shared things during hard times. Should she? Katie almost spoke up when she realized that Willis would want an explanation. She couldn't tell him what was going on in her heart. Arlene probably wouldn't be sympathetic anyway. She was still in
rumspringa
, and she might delight in hearing that Katie still had feelings for Ben Stoll even after what he'd done. Reuniting with Ben would fit Arlene's sense of adventure and daring. Arlene had never once said anything negative about Ben since his arrest. Not even when Katie had expressed her bitter heartache.

Nearing the turnoff toward home, Willis pulled back on the reins, slowing Sparky to a steady walk. Another buggy was coming their way, and Katie forced a smile as Bishop Miller's
frau
, Laura, passed them. Laura smiled back, but Katie wondered if she'd be so friendly if she knew where Katie had just been. Or worse, if she knew how Katie felt after just seeing Ben.

What am I going to do? Katie wondered. And this time there was no fleeing to the Mennonites for relief. She was an Amish church member now, and she would have to face her problems straight on. Well, she would confess this matter to
Mamm
when
she arrived home. That would be embarrassing, but the right thing to do. And
Mamm
wouldn't give her away, and she might even have some
gut
advice. Like how Katie was supposed to act on Sunday night with Norman when she knew her heart still thought it was attracted to Ben.

Minutes later Willis guided Sparky down their driveway. The horse broke into a trot as he neared the barn. Willis pulled up, and Katie climbed out to help unhitch. Willis was well able to put Sparky away by himself, but Katie followed him. Inside the barn, the bright noonday light shone through the dusty windows. Sparky jerked his head up and neighed, the sound ringing through the building. From the barnyard, one of the other driving horses answered, welcoming Sparky back.

Even the horses felt at home in this place, Katie thought. Just like she did. Never in her life had she felt the peace and happiness she'd experienced these last few months since her baptism. Ben wasn't going to rob her of this. He couldn't be trusted. Not after he'd torn her heart apart by selling drugs while acting like a decent man. Ben had been kissing her in his buggy while committing such a horrible sin! Katie shuddered.

“Here, I'll take care of Sparky,” Katie told Willis when he looked at her questioningly, wondering why she was tagging along.

Willis shrugged. “I guess I'll get back to the fields then.”

Katie jerked the harness off after Willis left and threw it up on the wall hook. She quickly rubbed Sparky down and then led him to the barnyard door. She turned him out with a soft pat on the neck. He raced outside and threw his head high in the air, prancing a bit. The other driving horses joined him for a quick dash around the lot. Katie smiled. They were happy like she was. And it would stay that way. Walking through the barn, she walked out the door, closed it behind her, and hurried across the yard. She pushed open the front door.

Mamm
looked up, startled. “Is anything wrong, Katie?”

“
Yah
, there is!” Katie pressed back the tears. There was no sense hiding her turmoil from
Mamm
. She couldn't even if she wanted to. “It was terrible,
Mamm
!”

Mamm
guessed at what was bothering Katie. “He didn't want to see you?”

Katie shook her head.

“Then…”
Mamm
's concern deepened. “Has Ben taken a turn for the worst?”

“
Nee, Mamm
. It's my heart! Oh,
Mamm
, how can this be? How can I still have feelings for him?”

Comprehension dawned on
Mamm
's face, and she came over to wrap Katie in her arms. “You poor thing. I would have kept you home if I'd known this would happen.”

“It's not your fault,
Mamm
. Jesse thought I should go, and Willis too.” Katie collapsed on the couch. “And they were right in a way. But now what in the world am I supposed to do? I can't see Norman and let him bring me home on Sunday night when I feel this way.”

Mamm
sat down beside Katie and stroked her arm. “Feelings come and go, Katie. I wouldn't be too worried. At least you know better this time.”

Katie groaned. “If you felt what I did, you'd be worried. What's wrong with me,
Mamm
?”

Mamm
sat for a moment in silence. “Did Ben tell you he was sorry?”

Katie nodded. “And I told him I forgive him.”

“Then leave it there,”
Mamm
said. “Ben has learned a few things by now. At least let's hope he has. He knows your relationship is over. And I'm sure you've felt nothing in your heart that I haven't felt myself. The feelings I once had for Daniel Kauffman eventually left my heart to be replaced by a beautiful love for your
daett
. Now
Da Hah
has done the same thing for Jesse and me. And He can do it for Norman and you.”

This is true, Katie thought.
Mamm
had told her often of the crush she used to have for the handsome Daniel Kauffman. For years she'd hung on to the hope that her love would be returned—right up to the wedding day when Daniel said the vows with his
frau
, Miriam Esh. The story had always fallen on deaf ears during the time Katie had dated Ben. But then
Mamm
had been proven right. And no doubt she was right this time as well.

“I'll try to remember,” Katie whispered, glancing up as Mabel appeared in the doorway.

“You can send him my way,” Mabel said.

Katie glanced at
Mamm
, who shrugged. So Mabel had been listening to their conversation. Oh well. They shouldn't keep secrets from her—not these kinds of secrets. When
Mamm
first married Jesse, they'd tried that approach and incurred Mabel's wrath.

Katie sat up on the couch. “Mabel, what do you mean by that?”

Mabel looked sheepish as she took small steps into the living room. Katie motioned for Mabel to sit on the couch. “What did you mean by that remark? Do you have a crush on Ben Stoll?”

Mabel's cheeks flamed. “I didn't say that.”

Katie stared at Mabel. “Norman Kuntz? You like Norman Kuntz?”

Mabel said nothing as she gazed at the floor.

“But, Mabel,”
Mamm
said, “Norman's bringing Katie home on Sunday night.”

“You don't think I know that?” Mabel muttered, still not looking up.

Katie stood up and paced in front of the living-room window. She burst out moments later, “Well, then, you can have him! Right now I don't really care!”

“Girls, girls!”
Mamm
interrupted. “Let's be sensible about this.
Mabel, I had no idea you felt like this. Obviously Norman doesn't share your feelings, so you shouldn't interfere like this.”

“I'm not interfering.” Mabel glared at both of them. “So don't blame me for that. I heard Katie say she was still in love with Ben, so why shouldn't I speak up? She can leave Norman to me. I'll get his attention.”