Katie's Forever Promise (5 page)

“He's like that all the time,” Clarice insisted. “Dad claims there will be trouble cropping up elsewhere to make up for it because no one can be that
gut
.”

Katie smiled. “Well,
Da Hah
will make that decision. All we can do is accept what He sends our way. But we will hope for the best. Little baby Kyle is indeed quite cute.”

A few more shared about their summer, and finally Katie said, “Well, let's have prayer and begin our very first day of school together.”

As they bowed their heads, an interesting thought flashed through Katie's mind. Was it proper that she pray out loud? Women seldom prayed aloud in public, and they did it at home only in the presence of their children and when the
daett
wasn't present. But weren't these “her” children? No one had given her any instructions on the matter of praying aloud. Now it was too late to ask the children if teacher Ruth had led them in prayer.

Gathering her courage, Katie began. “Dear
Hah
in heaven, I
want to thank You for each and every one of these dear, precious children. Be with us today, and bless us with Your presence. Give each one of these dear children strength to study hard. Refresh their minds from the summer break. And forgive us all our trespasses which we may have done, even as we forgive each other their faults. Help us live together in peace during this school year. Amen.”

Opening her eyes, Katie glanced around. No one was looking strangely at her, so these students must be used to hearing their teacher lead in prayer. Sending up her own quiet whisper of thanks to
Da Hah
for leading her right, Katie called her first class of the day up front.

Chapter Four

Ben Stoll sat at the family supper table the following evening with his head bowed. Around him the others ate in silence, occasionally stealing glances at him. This was his first night home after being released from jail. He couldn't blame his family for looking strangely at him. He'd do the same if he were in their shoes—and perhaps even more so if one of his brothers or
daett
had served time in jail for a crime. He'd messed up his life, that was for sure. How he would ever get back on his feet was beyond his comprehension. But then he'd told himself this a thousand times already while waiting out the slow days that crept by while in the county jail.

Sending a message to Katie through Emery Graber that he wished to speak with her had taken a lot of courage, but it was the right thing, Ben told himself again. He had to apologize to Katie. He couldn't rest until he did. That they could ever recapture what they used to have was only a wild dream of his mind—impossible and unrealistic, but he couldn't help having it. Saying sorry to
Katie was the least he could do, even if she never wanted to be with him again. He certainly couldn't blame her for that.

He at least had something he was thankful for. His sentence could have been a hundred times worse. The prosecutor hadn't failed to remind him of that fact more than once.

“If you don't cooperate, the judge will place you in prison for a dozen years or more.”

That was the sentence Rogge Brighton and his brother Lyman were now serving since they had been in charge of the drug operation. They were convicted due in large part to Ben's testimony.

“You self-serving snake!” Rogge had yelled at him at the trial. “You turned against your best friend just to save your own hide.”

Ben hadn't quite looked at it like that despite the prosecutor's warnings and the deal he offered. What Ben confessed to had been because of the honesty built into him from years of Amish training. He'd also been driven by his guilty conscience for the things he had done wrong. So he'd told everything he knew to the prosecutor and testified to it in court even though testifying against another went against Amish tradition. The result had been favor from the law enforcement establishment and a lesser jail sentence. This had enraged Rogge Brighton, evoking threats hollered across the aisle of the county jail. Those threats ceased only when Rogge and his brother had been transferred to the state prison in Wilmington.

While he was relatively safe behind bars, Ben hadn't worried much about Rogge's threats, but tonight with the darkness falling, he wondered. Were the threats real? His own life wasn't that high of a concern, but the safety of his family was another matter. Would they be in danger? And did they even know about the threats from Rogge? He hadn't really thought about that before. What if someone did show up seeking revenge? They wouldn't
show much mercy to his family if they got in the way. It was a troubling thought on top of all the other things that lay heavy on his heart.

“It's
gut
to have you home,” Ben's
daett
, Leon, said, breaking the silence.

“Thank you.” Ben kept his head bowed. His family was trying to make things comfortable for him, but they didn't know how to act. He didn't know either. None of them had ever been in this situation.

“Teacher Katie was awesome today,” Noah announced, obviously trying to move the subject somewhere comfortable. “I think I'll like her a lot.”

Mamm
winced and reached over to pat Noah's arm. “
Yah
, all of us like Katie.”

Ben didn't look up. Noah hadn't known much about his relationship with Katie, although
Mamm
and
Daett
and his older siblings had. Noah couldn't be blamed for bringing up the subject, but now the tension around the table was worse. They already felt sorry for his ruined life. They all knew his relationship with Katie was over. Katie had made that plain enough by never showing up at the trial or inquiring after him in any fashion since his arrest.

Yet Katie shouldn't be blamed, Ben thought. They'd only been seeing each other a few months, though it had seemed much longer with how much he'd enjoyed being around her. Katie had reacted the way any decent young woman would to the betrayal of her deep-rooted trust and love. She'd grown close to his heart, if truth be told. At the beginning, Katie had been more of a way out of what he was doing wrong. But she'd become much more than that. He'd been a fool not to tell Katie of what he'd done and how he was getting out of his past life. But he'd told himself he was cutting all of that out, that he was quitting Rogge, and that Katie need
never know. He'd been afraid she wouldn't believe his repentance and that he'd lose her. But he'd lost her anyway. Now it was too late for anything but regrets.

“Katie's going home with someone on Sunday night!” Noah sang out, obviously thrilled with this news concerning his new teacher.

Ben looked up. This was news he couldn't help showing interest in. Let them see the pain in his heart. There was no point in hiding it now.

“Now, how would you know something like that?” Brenda, the eldest girl in the family asked. “You're kind of a little tot to obtain such information.”

Noah puffed out his chest and quickly added additional information. “I heard the older girls whispering out in the playground. They said Katie turned all red when Abram Kuntz announced that his older brother Norman was taking someone home on Sunday night. So there! Abram heard this from his
mamm
and
daett
when they thought he wasn't listening.”

“Sounds like a bunch of gossip to me,” Brenda muttered, stealing a sideways glance at Ben.

Ben knew Brenda really did feel sorry for him, and he hated it. That someone would feel pity for him. Still, this feeling was
gut
for him. The shame helped him humble his soul and cleanse it from the awful things he'd done. He'd never thought of himself as evil before being arrested, but now he saw things in a much different light. No one who was
gut
would sell or distribute drugs that destroyed people's lives.

“I think it's true too,” Noah continued, sticking with his story. “And I think Norman is getting a very decent girl. Katie's swell. And we all think it's going to be a fun school year. Much better even than teacher Ruth, and I liked her.”

“I'm glad to hear that news,”
Daett
said, smiling.

Ben stood up, his food only half eaten. “I think I'll go to my room.”

“You sure you don't want to finish your food?”
Mamm
looked alarmed.

“I'm okay.” Ben gave her a smile. “It's not your fault. Maybe things will go better tomorrow.”

They all—even Noah—looked concerned as he left the room. To
Daett
's credit he didn't insist Ben stay for the evening devotions. They'd been having the family's Bible reading and prayer time without him for well over a year now, and they could see that it would take awhile for him to get back into the flow of things.

After putting his dishes near the sink, Ben opened the stair door, letting it shut behind him as he took the steps two at a time. Inside his room, he lit the kerosene lamp and rummaged around his dresser drawer for Katie's picture, taken when she'd needed a photograph for her passport. He'd left it here somewhere before his arrest—hidden under a stack of pants, he thought. And there would have been no reason for
Mamm
to open this drawer, much less find the picture. But if
Mamm
had, the picture would no doubt be destroyed.
Mamm
wouldn't allow a photograph of anyone in the house. That was the Amish way because it was considered vanity, and that was strictly forbidden.

Ben's fingers found the thin piece of paper. He pulled it out and lifted it to the flickering light of the lamp. Katie's face looked back at him, her eyes shining with love. He remembered leaning over the photographer's shoulder that day to distract Katie as the woman took the picture. Those days seemed like years ago, the joy lost in the pain of his jail time. Destroyed because of what he'd done. Oh how he'd loved Katie—and she him! He was sure of it. Katie wasn't one to fake such things. That was no doubt why Katie was going on so well with her life…like he'd never even existed. That was the way she would go about things. Honestly
and without thought to appearances. Not that anyone blamed Katie for loving him, especially since she'd joined the church and made peace with
Da Hah
and the community.

Ben laid the picture down with a sigh. He had no one to blame but himself. And now Katie would be sitting beside Norman on Sunday night. Norman, the shy, awkward guy. So unlike me, Ben thought. Was that what attracted Katie to Norman? She now wanted someone who was the opposite of his daring ways? Not that he could blame Katie for that either. Look how he'd turned out—a total disgrace to his family and the community. Walking to the window, Ben looked out at the barn and the road that lay on the other side of it. Lights from an
Englisha
automobile moved toward the north, having just passed the house. He watched the lights go, momentarily distracted from his troubled thoughts.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ben saw a flicker of light beside the barn. Just a brief flash, but it shouldn't have been there. Moments later it came on again then blinked off. Someone was outside. Perhaps
Daett
was checking on some last minute chores. But it couldn't be
Daett
. He'd be in the living room for evening devotions by now. Ben stayed by the window until a single beam found the house. It lasted only a moment. Someone was searching for something, and Ben was now sure it wasn't anyone in his family.

Rogge's threats echoed in Ben's mind. Was he imagining things even as fear pounded through his veins? His family shouldn't be placed in danger because of him. He needed to face whoever was out there. Slipping out of the room, Ben crept down the stairs. Everyone was seated around the living room when he appeared. They looked up with pleased expressions on their faces, thinking he was joining them for devotions.

“I'm sorry,” he told them, “but I think someone is outside by the barn. I'm going to check.”

“There's someone out there?”
Daett
was already standing.

Ben held up his hand. “There were threats made against me in court and in jail. I don't want you to go outside until I've checked to make sure everything is okay.”

“Threats?”
Mamm
asked, her face turning white.

“I will go with you.”
Daett
stepped toward him. “
Da Hah
will protect us.”

Ben forced himself to smile. “
Yah
, I hope so. You don't have to worry,
Daett
. I won't do anyone any harm. I didn't learn how to hurt people while I was in the
Englisha
jail.”

Concern didn't leave his
daett
's face. “I was also thinking of your safety, son. Let me go outside and look around with you.”

Ben kept his voice firm. “I did what I did, and I want no one else with me. Not until I know if there is danger or not.”

Daett
sighed and sat down. “I hope it is nothing then, but we must pray.”

“Who could it be?”
Mamm
asked, her hands on her cheeks.

Ben left them to their questions. He couldn't answer them anyway, other than saying what they already knew. That he'd done wrong first of all, that his confessions placed others in jail, and now he might have to pay physically through the hands of those seeking revenge.