Katie's Forever Promise (21 page)

Katie let the words flow past her and just said, “Thank you. Now, where can I begin?”

“Most of the women are still in the house cleaning the upstairs and basement. The men will be around in a bit pulling the machinery out of the pole barn. That's where I suggest you go. Wait a few minutes and start there. In fact, that's where I'm going right now. You're welcome to tag along.”

“I'll do that.” Katie fell in step with the energetic Laura. She
might be getting on in years, but she sure hadn't slowed down since
Mamm
's wedding had been held here.

“I hope that Ben Stoll hasn't been bothering you.” Laura gave Katie a quick, sympathetic look. “
Da Hah
knows life has been hard enough on you without him hanging around.”

Katie looked away. Must Ben come up again? Why couldn't people help her move on by forgetting the past? “I haven't heard anything from him or his family since the night I spent with his
mamm
at the hospital. Well, except for what his little brother shares at school.”

“Ben's living in town now,” Laura offered. “The ministry thought it for the best.”

“I see.”

Laura wasn't finished yet. “And don't worry about those rumors going around right now. I told Jonas not to believe what he hears about you. I told him I'd spoken personally to Lavina, and she made it clear to me you were acting out of your Christian duty and that you were never with Ben without someone else present.”

“Thank you,” Katie responded as they walked into the pole barn. At least she had the bishop's wife on her side.

Behind them
Mamm
and Mabel came driving in, and Laura left to greet the two women. Bishop Miller came out of the barn about the same time and greeted Katie. “Here to help, are we? We'll have to make sure you have plenty of work then.”

“I certainly wouldn't want to stand around idle all day,” Katie said, smiling.

“So where are the men Laura promised would be here? I've seen nothing but women driving in.”

“I wouldn't know, but I can help push machinery,” Katie offered.

“An old man and a young woman?” Bishop Miller laughed. “That would be the day. I don't think the world has come to such a sorry state yet. Let's see what Laura has to say for herself.”

Chattering away, the three women approached. When they came within earshot, Bishop Miller asked Laura, “Where's my help, my
frau
?”

“Coming right there!” Laura replied as she waved her arm toward the road. Sure enough, when Katie looked up a buggy full of men was pulling into the driveway.

“Should have looked before I asked,” Bishop Miller said. “Happens every time a man doubts a woman.”

Katie smiled at his humor. He was a kindly old soul, and he watched well over the spiritual health of the community. She could be thankful
Da Hah
had supplied such leaders she could trust.

“How are things going for you?” Bishop Miller asked as he glanced at Katie.

“Fine. I'm all right, although I guess my heart is still a bit troubled.”

Bishop Miller nodded while stroking his long, white beard. “
Da Hah
's ways are not always ours. But we will find they are always the best.” A twinkle flickered in his eye. “I hear you might have someone special on the hook at the wedding.”

Katie laughed. “Believe me, that's Mabel's doing, not mine.”

“One never knows.” The twinkle didn't go away. “Just keep your heart open, Katie.”

Katie was sure her face was turning red with such plain talk from the bishop. He must highly approve of Mahlon Bontrager to say such a thing. And the bishop must also approve of her—at least enough to think she was a worthy
frau
for Mahlon. That thought was enough to turn her face flame red if it already wasn't.

“
Da Hah
works in mysterious ways,” Bishop Miller smiled at her and then turned toward the driveway as the men climbed out of the buggy and drew near. “Don't ever forget that, Katie.”

“So what have we going on here?” one of the men hollered. “Surely you weren't planning on keeping all this work for yourself?”

“I was waiting for you to settle your breakfast and get here,” Bishop Miller retorted.

“John was catching his late-morning winks out on the porch swing when I picked him up,” another man added.

Laughing together, they moved into the pole barn and started pushing the machines and dragging the tools out, parking and placing them along the edges of the yard.

Katie waited until the men had a section cleared before going in to clean. By then Laura and
Mamm
, along with several other women, were ready with brooms and dustpans. Ben's
mamm
, Lavina, had also arrived and greeted Katie with a gentle nod. Bishop Miller soon had a hay wagon brought in with the help of the other men for the women to use as a platform. By late morning they'd swept the upper cross ties of the pole barn, reaching the roof by standing on the hay-wagon racks. As each section was completed, the women pushed the wagon around to the next spot. It took a little doing, but with everyone's aid the wagon moved easily enough.

When they were done, Laura hollered to the men, “We need your help. Anyone with some muscles?”

This produced plenty of laughs, and the men quickly moved the wagon out. Showing off, Katie figured. Men were men, always liking to show off in front of women.

By twelve o'clock they had the pole barn floor washed; the concrete almost spotless. Rosanna Yoder, who had stayed inside the house, opened the washroom door and hollered across the lawn. “Dinner's ready! Come get it!”

“That's about time,” one of the men commented.

Katie followed everyone inside to enjoy a meal of sandwiches and chocolate milk that had been set out on the table.

“Not much to eat I know,” Rosanna announced. “But we were busy.”

“It's more than enough,”
Mamm
spoke up. “And we want to thank all of you for coming today. This means so much to us, especially on such short notice.”

“We're glad to help,” Bishop Miller said. “Now let's pray before someone faints from hunger.”

They all bowed their heads with smiles playing on their faces. Bishop Miller was
gut
like that, putting everyone at ease.

“We give thanks today for what You have given us, dear
Hah
,” Bishop Miller prayed. “Bless all the willing hands who have come to help today. Bless also this food which has been prepared. It is far above anything we deserve, even in this world of plenty that we find ourselves in today. We pray for those in other parts of the world where many are still persecuted for their faith. Help them and comfort them, dear
Hah
. Leave them not without the presence of Your Holy Spirit. Amen.”

“Okay, fall to!” Rosanna waved her arms about. “Don't be wasting any time now.”

The men laughed and got in line at once. Katie moved to the back of the line behind the men,
Mamm
right behind her. When they got to the front of the line, Katie took a sandwich and glass of chocolate milk and went out on the front lawn to sit on the grass. The living room already looked full, and so did the front porch.

Lavina followed her. “I hope I'm not disturbing you, Katie.”

Katie hid her astonishment. “
Nee
, not in the least. Please sit down.”

“
Yah
,” Lavina said, as she sat on the ground, her legs tucked under her like a schoolgirl.

Lavina looked younger out here with the sun on her face and the breeze blowing through her hair. She'd often appeared so
weary the past few months. Of course, she'd had plenty of reason, with Ben's shenanigans weighing on her heart.

“How are things going for you?” Katie asked.

“Okay, I guess.” Lavina took a bite of her sandwich. “I'm sorry for the trouble you got into for coming to the hospital that night. But at the same time I can never thank you enough for coming. I think your presence really helped Ben.”

“I'd do it again,” Katie replied without hesitation. It had been the right thing to do, and she had no regrets.

Lavina dug into her dress pocket and pulled out an envelope. She hesitated only for a moment. “I have something for you. Ben said to give this to you when things had died down a bit. So here it is.”

“What is it?” Katie didn't move as she stared at the white envelope.

“It's Ben's thanks, he said. I don't think he means any harm by this.”

Katie hesitated. She really shouldn't take it. Ben was in her past, and she didn't want it stirred up again. Still her arm reached out, almost as if acting on its own, and took the envelope, slipping it quickly into her dress pocket.

Chapter Twenty-One

The next afternoon Katie paced her upstairs bedroom with Ben's letter clutched in her hand. She'd already read it last night after the supper dishes and the evening prayers were over. She'd excused herself early, and no one had paid her much mind. The day had been full of hard work at Bishop Miller's place, and Jesse always encouraged an early bedtime on Saturday night so everyone would be fresh for the Sunday morning church services. Only she hadn't gone to bed early. Instead, she'd sat up and read and reread Ben's short note. Emotions she thought had been conquered had risen again, even worse than they'd been that night at the hospital. It was past midnight before she dropped off to sleep.

Then today, especially during church—through the singing and the sermons—she'd thought about Ben and what he'd written. Now the words swam in front of her eyes again. Katie held the page away from her. No tears must splatter on the page and mar the words. Ben was trying to release her from her affections, she was sure. Only it wasn't having that effect at all.

He'd written his thanks for her sacrifice of time and reputation by coming to the hospital that night. Only she knew it really hadn't been a sacrifice. She'd gone because it was her Christian duty,
yah
, but the words she'd spoken to Ben had flowed from her heart. They had been tender words, and she'd meant every one of them. She'd said them even while she was planning to wed Norman. It seemed that her heart had known even then what she was unwilling to admit aloud. She still loved Ben—and apparently she always would.

Yah
, Ben was willing to set her free. He had, in fact, set her free with this letter. Only it had the opposite effect. Now her heart was flying back to him, seeking what she'd lost against her better judgment. She knew the situation her heart wanted could not have a
gut
ending. The past was gone. What Ben had done could be forgiven,
yah
. Had not worse sins been washed away from the lives of her people? There must have been, although she'd never heard much about that type of thing.
Rumspringa
wasn't exactly a holy time in many Amish people's lives. They were supposed to try out the things of the world. And,
yah
, Ben had gone way too far into the world. But what had really shattered her heart? Ben's sin? Or was it that he wasn't quite as perfect as she'd wanted him to be? That he had feet of clay?

Yet what was she supposed to do now? Ben was living somewhere in town. And she was a church member, which meant she needed to be circumspect in everything she did. She was scheduled to be a bridesmaid with Mahlon Bontrager as her escort at Mabel's wedding. Bishop Miller even thought Mahlon would be a good match for her. Life was becoming normal again, at least on the outside. If she simply left things alone, Ben would never know how she'd longed for him, and neither would anyone else.
Mamm
didn't even know she had this letter from Ben, and Katie was sure Lavina would never mention it.

Could she risk the loss of what she'd gained so far? Any contact with Ben would certainly lead in that direction. She'd arrived where she once thought everyone had walked. Accepted, loved, part of the community. But now she knew there was more to it. Norman had shattered the vision of what “normal” might be. He'd shown her the inside of the life she'd dreamed of for so long. It was no more beautiful or virtuous than the one she'd come from. Norman, and likely his family too, was capable of spreading rumors about her that were untrue. And Mabel too. And all because Katie had done something that at first look appeared suspect but had been perfectly reasonable and virtuous. And she was certain that Ben being asked to leave home could be laid at Enos's door too.

Bishop Miller and his
frau
, Laura, had hearts of gold. They intended only the best for her and everyone else. But what if the bishop and other men in the ministry hierarchy were wrong? What if Ben was redeemable, and they couldn't see it? What if Ben was ready to believe, and no one was ready to trust him or give him the opportunity?
What if
…The questions wouldn't stop, and Katie finally flopped on the bed. She was going to drive herself mad obsessing about what could never be.