It Had to Be You (15 page)

I bury my head in my hands. I don
’t believe this.

‘
How you got any work done I’ll never know,’ she finishes.

‘
Very funny,’ I sigh.

She pulls a face.

‘Thing is, he’s putting it around that you’re a husband stealer …’

‘
What,’ I yell.

She fidgets in her seat and flexes her neck.

‘He asked me to tell you that your job is there for the taking but if you think anyone else will hire you then you can think again. Honestly Binki, I’ve heard the rumours. He makes you sound like that woman out of
Basic Instinct
but worse. Honestly, no one is going to hire bitch on heat Binki Grayson at the moment. Their wives won’t let them even if they wanted to.’

I seriously don
’t believe this.

‘
It seems Ben Newman really has a thing for you and your rejection on Christmas Eve didn’t go down well. I ask you though, Ben Newman, of all the men, Ben Newman.’

‘
Okay okay,’ I say. ‘I’ve already been turned down by two companies.’

Muffy shakes with rage.

‘You should call his bluff, do him for slander.’

‘
Yeah, like they will believe me over a company director. Besides I don’t have the money for a solicitor and frankly, as great as it would be to be on the front page of
The Sun
that wasn’t quite how I imagined it.’

‘
I’m just thinking working in a sleazy sex shop isn’t going to calm these rumours is it and you may lose Oliver for good. I’m just wondering if you should give this whole thing up, you know about the house …’

‘
And give it to William? As for losing Oliver don’t you think he threw all that away when he slept with his boss?’

‘
He may have been put in a bit of a position,’ she says, sounding so unlike Muffy that I’m beginning to wonder if she has had a Stepford wife makeover.

‘
He was put in a position all right and I saw it,’ I say angrily, feeling the tears well up again.

‘
You’re obsessing about it and about this William …’

Talk of the devil and he is bound to appear.

‘It’s him,’ I squeal. ‘He’s out.’

‘
You make it sound like you chained him up,’ she turns to follow my gaze. William waves from the pub doorway and I hear Muffy take a sharp breath.

‘
God,’ she whispers, ‘easy on the eye or what? No wonder you’re obsessing. You never mentioned him being that bangable. Forget the chocolate tit, he can have mine. In fact, he can have both. I can cover them in chocolate no problem. Maybe you
should
chain him up.’

I shake my head in despair.

‘What happened to the Hovis?’ I ask.

‘
Fuck the Hovis,’ she says drooling.

She pulls her hair from the scrunch and shakes her head seductively, her long thick hair falls around her shoulders and she pinches her cheeks. She looks fabulous and I feel like the poor relation.
A fair-haired man follows behind William. He walks with a slight swagger and gives us a small lip-curling smile. He whispers something to William and I know this is Nathan. He gives me an appraising look and walks slowly towards us, seemingly ignoring Muffy. He is smart in a dark blue suit with a crisp white shirt. He unbuttons the jacket as he approaches and has sunglasses perched on his curly fair hair, which is a bit poserish isn’t it, considering it’s the heart of winter?

‘
Hello Binki. William and I just passed your car. Your tax disc is out of date.’

He smiles warmly at me but I sense insincerity in his smile.

‘An unusual chat-up line,’ laughs Muffy.

‘
It’s always worked for me in the past,’ he grins.

He continues smiling and points to our coffees.

‘Can we get you ladies another drink?’ he asks, looking directly at me.

‘
How lovely,’ replies Muffy, not taking her eyes off William.

‘
He’s quite right your tax disc is out of date and …’ William points to the window and I see a buggery traffic warden approach the car. I swear they are ganging up on me these bloody wardens. I shriek and dive for the door.

‘
Excuse me,’ I shout. ‘It’s in the post.’

I launch myself at the warden, skidding to a halt before sending him flying. He turns and I swear I see his face drop.

‘Nazi,’ I mumble under my breath.

‘
In the post is it? It’s all computerised these days lady,’ he says with a sneer. ‘I’ll check shall I?’

I feel defeated. I
’ll kill Oliver. This would never have happened if he hadn’t dipped his wick on Christmas Eve in someone else’s …

‘
Can I help Walter? Binki is a friend of mine.’

I turn to see William has followed me out.

‘Hello Mr Ellis. How’s that new house of yours?’

Excuse me?

‘It’s my house actually,’ I interrupt.

William inclines his head to me.

‘This is Binki,’ he says.

Christ, I
’m being introduced to a traffic warden now. Maybe we should all go out on a date.

‘
Binki?’ he questions. ‘You’re not the girl …’

‘
No, you’re right, I’m not.’

‘
Unusual name,’ he says thoughtfully.

‘
Yes,’ I say. ‘I was named after a famous literary character.’

Can you divorce your parents? Is naming your child after a Mills and Boon character grounds for matricide?

‘Is it just the tax disc that is a problem Walter, or are we illegally parked too?’ William says with a smile.

We, what does he mean
we
?

‘
Well,’ grins Walter. ‘The tax disc is a problem and she is just over her time limit.’

Hello, I am still here.

‘How is that fund-raiser going for the youth group? I keep forgetting,’ says William, pulling out his wallet.

My God, he is bribing the traffic warden.

‘We always need a bit more Mr Ellis, but we’re getting there.’

‘
Let me help with that.’

‘
What are you doing?’ I ask.

‘
Why don’t you just leave this to me,’ William says, putting a hand on my arm.

I shake it off impatiently. Before I have time to open my mouth he has handed over fifty quid and has pulled me back to the pub.

‘We’ll move it in a bit Walter,’ he calls over his shoulder.

‘
No problem Mr Ellis.’

‘
You can’t bribe a traffic warden,’ I say, pulling my arm away angrily.

‘
I just did,’ he says arrogantly.

‘
How dare you patronise me. I
prefer to pay the fine, whatever it is.’

‘
What with? Your body?’

I gasp. Oh, that was below the belt wasn
’t it?

‘
That was uncalled for.’

‘
So is your ungrateful attitude, you could say thank you.’

‘
Thank you,’ I say begrudgingly.

‘
You’re welcome, and I apologise for the body remark. I imagine it would just about pay for a ticket.’

I stare at him. He
winks. I turn away. Bloody men, they all shit on you. Muffy is quite right about that. The heat of the pub hits me and I feel my face flush. Muffy looks at William and flutters her eyelashes.

‘
Nathan and I were saying how nice it would be if we could all go out for dinner tonight. It would give us all a chance to get to know each other better and we could celebrate your birthday at the same time.’

I know everyone well enough thank you very much and have no desire to get to know Nathan better, although I can tell by the way he is looking at me that he would like to get to know me better.

‘Sounds great,’ says William shaking Muffy’s hand.

‘
Nathan Richards,’ says the poser, offering his hand. I take it reluctantly. He squeezes my hand for an eternity and I make several attempts to free myself from his vice-like grip but he just squeezes more. Don’t you just hate that?

‘
I’m Will’s accountant, so I assure you that he can afford dinner and you’re not thirty every day.’

I glare at Muffy. She told him I was thirty?

‘Binki, what a lovely name,’ he continues.

Oh well, maybe he
’s not so bad after all. At least I can keep an eye on William and won’t have to worry about him doing the dirty on me, and it will be a free dinner.

‘
What do you think?’ asks Muffy.

‘
Yes, sounds great,’ I agree.

Muffy has eyes for no one but William. Honestly, put a good-looking man in front of her and Hovis goes out the window. I have to admit, William is exceptionally handsome but that doesn’t make me forget he could be nothing but an exceptionally handsome con man. In fact, I am beginning to wonder if he and Nathan are just two con men. Just think about it, I’m left an inheritance from my great aunt and who turns up outside the solicitors? None other than Mr William Ellis, a bit of a coincidence don’t you think? I imagine he and Nathan preyed on her, investing her money in their dodgy schemes. No doubt Mr charming Ellis talked her into leaving her house to him too. Yes, that’s about right. Well, I’m not letting them get away with it. William has himself well covered if Muffy can’t find anything on him. Maybe I’ll do a little spying myself. What was he doing loitering outside the solicitors anyway? A convenient collision if you ask me.

The waiter leans towards me.

‘Seared foie gras with figs poached in red wine, oriental spices and toasted sesame madam.’

‘
You’ll have to share those,’ says Nathan, seductively licking his lips.

If he thinks he is getting his mouth around my fork, he can think again. In fact, if he thinks he is getting his mouth around me he will find his balls dished up for dessert. He
’s a bit too forward if you ask me. I can’t think why William uses him.

‘
Pot roast quail,’ says the waiter, placing a dish in front of William, ‘and the lobster for you sir.’

‘
And a bottle of the 2009 Chardonnay,’ adds Nathan.

Nathan likes to spend William
’s money it seems. I relax in the warmth of a roaring log fire that is near to our table and enjoy the flickering light of the candles on the crystal glassware on the table. Nathan leans close to me and says,

‘So William tells me you’re in sales.’ He cuts into the lobster expertly.

‘
I was.’

‘
Worked in the city did you?’

‘
Yes, I did.’

But now I am in the sex business it would seem, that is if I get the job.

‘So you weren’t an accountant?’ he asks casually.

William tops up Muffy
’s glass and smiles at me. I smile back and try to ignore the little tingle in my loins. Con artists,
don’t forget Binki, con artists.

‘
No,’ I reply. ‘I was never an accountant.’

What an odd question, unless he has a fetish for female accountants.

‘Why, are you running classes?’ I ask.

He laughs.

‘No, I just like to keep up with the competition.’

‘
So where in London are you based?’ Muffy asks William, ‘Company-wise of course.’

Go
od heavens, is she moving closer to him? If she gets much closer she’ll be
on his lap.

‘
Canary Wharf,’ smiles William.

‘
Not actually in the city then?’ I ask suspiciously.

Muffy gives me a sharp look.

‘No, but I’m often there on business,’ he says, looking into my eyes.

‘
Ah,’ I say, leaving the word hanging in the air and sounding like Columbo.

‘
Which means?’ asks Muffy.

Blimey, is she defending him?

‘Nothing,’ I shrug.

I finish my starter
and spend
the main course sneakily glancing at William and listening to Nathan’s boring monologues about the places he has been to and his opinions on business-class travel and all of the classy hotels he has stayed in. He clearly likes the high life. By dessert I’ve really had enough of him.

‘
When I went to Saudi, this Arab sheik insisted on having me dine with him and his harem. That was a funny story. I could have been at it all night,’ he laughs drunkenly. ‘I tell you, I’ve got a great job.’

‘
Really,’ I say, rolling my eyes at Muffy.

‘
Binki’s got a job. Did she tell you?’ Muffy blurts out drunkenly.

Oh great.

‘I haven’t got it yet,’ I say.

‘
You did?’ says William, raising his eyebrows.

‘
Why, were you hoping I wouldn’t stick around?’ I say emptying my fourth glass.

‘
Of course not,’ he says softly.

‘
It’s in a sex shop,’ says Muffy loudly. She has this way of staggering news doesn’t she? ‘I said she’ll be turning tricks next,’ she adds laughing.

I throw her a filthy look as the restaurant quietens.

‘Let me know when you do,’ winks Nathan, wafting alcohol breath over me.

‘
You didn’t have to do that,’ says William quietly.

‘
I think I did,’ I reply, meeting his eyes. ‘I need to pay my way.’

‘
It’s better than appearing in porn films,’ giggles Muffy. ‘That was her first thought, wasn’t it Binki? We said
the titles would be funny, like …’

What is she saying?

‘Muffy,’ I snap. ‘Shut up.’

‘
Sounds like fun,’ mumbles Nathan drunkenly. ‘Any perks, bet you can’t match mine?’

‘
Chocolate penises and nipples,’ giggles Muffy.

‘
Then again, maybe you can,’ he laughs.

I
’m relieved when dessert comes and the conversation has moved onto cars and how William came to have a Lamborghini.

‘
Can you believe a grateful client bought it for him?’ says Nathan banging William on the back.

‘
It sounds grander than it is,’ says William looking slightly embarrassed.

By the time dessert is over I realise I have drunk far too much and so has Muffy. We both stagger to the ladies and I march straight into the cubicle without even talking to her.

‘Binki, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean … I’ve drunk too much.’

I hiccup.

‘We both have,’ I say flinging open the door and avoiding the mirror at all costs.

‘
For Christ’s sake Muffy, keep your wits about you. If they are con men, don’t give them any information,’ I say, while wondering what sodding information I am talking about.

‘
Right,’ says Muffy, running a brush through her hair. ‘What kind of information are we talking about?’

Christ, she
’s becoming psychic.

‘
You know,’ I say, opening the door to the restaurant.

‘
Right,’ she says again.

Nathan is waiting by the table for us.

‘Will is paying. I must say you two ladies look lovely.’

Lovely and pissed more like. William meets us and the waiter opens the door for us to leave.

I step outside and the fresh cold air hits me so forcefully that I have trouble standing upright and feel myself sway.

‘
Binki, you okay?’

I turn around and sway towards William. God I hope it didn
’t look like a swoon. His arm supports me, and I look into his eyes. He seems very close. If I move a fraction closer my body would be touching his. I feel my face grow hot and then his face seems to come closer. I pull back and push my hand into my bag to grab a wet wipe but pull out a chocolate nipple instead.

‘
Thanks but I have had plenty. Of food that is,’ he laughs. ‘And I prefer the real thing but thank you anyway,’ he finishes with a grin.

Why is it he never gets drunk or even drinks too much come to that.

‘I’m onto you, you know that,’ I slur, feeling my shoes slip on the wet pavement. I grab his arm
for support.

‘
Really?’

Oh, he is as sleazy as his partner in crime, Nathan Richards.

‘I know you swindled my aunt and you deliberately bumped into me in town didn’t you? I don’t know what you were hoping to steal from my handbag but …’

‘
I was there on business Binki, and you really should be careful what you say …’

‘
Huh, I should be careful. You’re the one who should watch your step.’

Muffy walks out
of the restaurant and glances at me. She looks fabulous and I find myself feel a twinge of envy. Of course, it would be me who gets the leech Nathan wouldn’t it, while Muffy gets the ever-so-gorgeous William, that’s about right isn’t it? What am I thinking? I couldn’t care less about William Ellis could I? Not much Binki. The truth is I’m finding him the most appealing man ever, and when he said he preferred the real thing to my chocolate nipples I had to bite back offering my own.

‘
Everything okay?’ asks Muffy.

‘
Fine,’ I say. ‘I just feel a bit headachy. I’ll head back I think. I promise not to lock you out,’ I whisper to William.

‘
I’ll get you a taxi and escort you back,’ offers Nathan.

Great, that
’s all I need.

‘
I should head back too,’ says Muffy. ‘Would you mind driving me to the station William?’

Wonderful, my best friend and my biggest enemy consorting together is what I don
’t need. God knows what Muffy will spill about me while under the influence. Tomorrow I am hiring a private investigator to look into William Ellis. I’ll nail the little con man if it kills me.

‘
Thank you Nathan, but I prefer to go back alone,’ I say forcefully.

I kiss Muffy goodbye, promise not to lock William out and dive into the taxi and decide, as I will be back before William, to do a little probing when I get home.