It Had to Be You (27 page)

‘
Martin Lucas, nice to meet you Binki, that’s an unusual name?’

At least he didn
’t say
Ah Binki, the anytime anywhere girl
.

He gestures for me to sit.

‘Yes, my mother is a great Mills and Boon reader and I’m the product of one of her favourite characters unfortunately.’

He laughs, and I take the opportunity to study him. I don
’t think he looks like a Ben Newman. He has brown hair which is greying at the temples. He wears a wedding ring and there are photos of his wife and children on the desk. Best of all, there isn’t a wart in sight.

‘
It’s unique,’ he says opening a folder. I’m presuming he means my name and not the contents of the folder. This is the folder that no doubt is full of my sexual exploits with Ben Newman, sex over the desk, and oral sex under it. Not to mention the crazy shagging on the office floor and the hanging from the light fittings. Christ, I wish I had that kind of energy. Oliver would be thrilled I’m sure. Right now I can barely do it on a bed, although it has to be agreed that at the moment it does rather feel like I’m having sex on the high seas in a life raft. I’m surprised Oliver hasn’t wanted me to wear the sailor outfit. I feel myself blush as Martin Lucas lifts his head from my folder. It must be like reading
The Confessions of an Office Slut.
’

‘
Mr Lucas, my last job …’

He flicks through the folder.

‘At Temco,’ he nods.

I feel myself blush even more. Oh God. I rummage in my bag nervously.

‘I do have a glowing report from my previous job before Temco,’ I say pulling papers from my bag along with a chocolate penis which before I can stop it, has rolled across the floor and landed at his feet.

Bollocks and piss it. Well, that
’s that then. I’ve just confirmed that everything he has heard about me is true. I like cock so much I even carry one around with me, I could die of shame and scoff the whole penis, I feel that depressed. He leans down and picks up the penis, handing it to me with a smile.

‘
Cheap chocolate,’ he says.

‘
They are quite reasonably priced. Actually they were freebies from my last job,’ I admit truthfully.

Well, it
’s all out in the open now isn’t it? I’ve lost the pissing job anyway so why bother even trying.

‘
The thing is, my boss at Temco …

He lifts a hand and stops me mid-sentence.

‘Piers Roche advised me I’d be crazy not to employ you.’

Piers Roche? How did he know I was applying for this job?

‘Piers Roche,’ I echo.

‘
You didn’t give references in your application. You just mentioned that Ellis Financial Investments was the last place you had worked. I phoned Mr Ellis who was in a meeting with Mr Piers Roche at the time, and they both gave you glowing references.’

‘
They did?’

‘
I have two more people to see but having looked through your portfolio, you seem ideal. You’re exactly what I’m looking for Binki Grayson, and I’m talking office skills. I’m sorry to hear of your experience with Temco but rest assured nothing like that goes on here.’

I can
’t believe my luck, although I rather wish William and Piers Roche had not had a say in it. Still, this is not the time to be proud is it? Otherwise Oliver and I will end up living in a
big fat gypsy caravan
, and although Victoria Beckham might be happy to live with David in a dustbin I’m afraid I couldn’t even stretch to a campervan as fond as I am of Oliver.

‘
When would you be able to start?’

‘
Immediately,’ I say and bite my lip. Was that too quick a response?

‘
I don’t have a job to give notice to.’

I
’d told Luther I couldn’t come back. Oliver had put his foot down quite forcefully on that one.
No fiancée of mine works in a sex shop
, he had said
and I’d felt quite touched until he had added,
what would our friends think?

‘
I was going to ask about
your strengths and weaknesses but a reference like that from Piers Roche is more than enough for me.’

He stands up and I quickly follow suit not wanting to outstay my welcome. Now if I can just walk to the door in these heels and not fall arse over tit there is a good chance the job is in the bag, and we may be able to get that mortgage and move out of that damn flat which I swear is covered in a film of Amanda Rowland
’s perfume.

‘
We’ll be in touch,’ he says, shaking my hand. ‘I only ask that when you start, you bring in more conventional chocolate for your break.’

I smile and thank him. I make it safely to the door and want to scream
I’ve got a job
. Still, mustn’t
get too excited, after all he did say he has another two women to see but it looks hopeful. I clip-clop in my heels to Georgia’s brasserie. Muffy is sipping a latte.

‘
Well,’ she says, looking hopeful.

‘
I think I’ve got it,’ I say, kicking off the shoes and stealing the freebie biscuit from her saucer.

‘
That’s great Binki,’ she says, gesturing to the waitress.

‘
Piers Roche and William gave references apparently.’

Her eyes widen.

‘I thought you wanted nothing from William Ellis, except his body of course,’ she says slyly.

‘
I do not and I never have wanted William Ellis’s body unless it is on a slab,’ I say bitterly.

‘
You liar, and why did you give him as a reference?’

‘
I didn’t. I just said he was my last employer. I couldn’t put Ben-wart-on-the-nose-Newman could I? His reference would be how good I was at having sex over a leather couch and up against the accounts drawer. It goes without saying I couldn’t mention the sex shop but a chocolate penis fell out of my bag. He took it rather well actually, and it wasn’t the final nail in the coffin as I thought it would be. Apparently, he phoned William after seeing he was my last employer and he was in a meeting with Roche and it seems they both said glowing things about me,’ I say, taking the menu from the waitress.

‘
So, you’re totally over William?’ she says, looking at me closely.

‘
There was nothing to get over. I don’t know what you’re on about.’

‘
So, you won’t be in the least bit bothered by this then,’ she says, pulling a folded piece of newspaper from her bag and pushing it across the table.

‘
William is engaged. It was announced this morning in
The Times.
Andrea’s doing most likely. I can’t imagine …’

‘
What!’ I exclaim, grabbing the cutting. ‘He can’t be. He’s not the marrying kind.’

‘
He obviously is now,’ says Muffy, ordering two salads. I don’t want salad, I need chocolate.

I stare at the cutting and feel a rollercoaster of emotions run through me.

Laurier and Mervyn Garcia are proud to announce the engagement of their daughter

Andrea Garcia to William Ellis

‘But …’ I begin.

She couldn
’t handle his work hours, I thought. He isn’t the marrying kind
I thought. Seems I think a lot of fucking rubbish doesn’t it. Andrea, I mean Andrea, long-legged, everything positioned just nicely thank you very much, Andrea. Bitchy horrible Andrea, how could he? Is he trying to throw his life away? Has he gone totally crazy? He could at least have given Vicki a chance. Chances are she would have grown out of
True Blood
, or William could have got into it. Bloody Andrea will always be after his blood, that’s for sure. I don’t believe this, I really don’t.

‘
Two Waldorf salads,’ says the waitress, placing them in front of us.

‘
Can I have a double chocolate ice cream with whipped cream?’ I ask

The waitress gawps at me.

‘Cock it,’ groans Muffy, ‘I knew I shouldn’t have told you.’

‘
Now
, you want the ice cream
now
?’ asks the waitress.

‘
Yes, ASAP in fact,’ I say.

‘
You’ll never get into the dress if you go on like this. You’ll be walking down the aisle like Gemma Collins. You’ll be the star of your own TV show called
My Big Fat Notting Hill Wedding
.

‘
I’m not that overweight,’ I scoff.

‘
Yet,’ she quips.

‘But Andrea, I mean why the hell would he get engaged to her, aside from the long legs, big tits and well-proportioned body and shaved pubis …’

‘
How would you know about her pubis?’ asks Muffy, tucking into her salad.

‘
It’s obvious. She’s Miss Perfect isn’t she?’

‘
She doesn’t shave her pubis actually,’ says Muffy quietly.

I widen my eyes.

‘And how would you know about her pubis?’ I say stunned.

She shrugs.

‘Okay, I follow her on Twitter,’ she says stabbing a lettuce leaf with her fork.

‘
You what?’ I say disbelievingly.

She sighs.

‘It’s not what you think, she tweets beauty advice. It’s good stuff, that’s what she does and …’

‘
I’m really not interested,’ I say petulantly.

‘
You asked how I knew …’

‘
God, she puts stuff about her pubis on there?’

‘
Not exactly, anyway you hate Twitter.’

‘
Yes, because you can’t say anything in 140 characters. It’s bloody frustrating.’

I feel a
stab of envy and hate myself
for it. I suppose she will go to dinner with William and Piers now, instead of me. My ice cream arrives and I push the salad to one side.

‘
I still can’t believe he got engaged to her. I mean her of all people.’

‘
I imagine he got engaged to her for the same reason you got engaged to Oliver. He’s in love.’

She raises her eyebrows.

‘So did you get a bed?’

I nod miserably.

‘A
thing with an orthopaedic mattress, dead exciting,’ I say. ‘The bed man had a permanent smile stuck to his face.’

I stuff my mouth full of ice
cream much to Muffy’s disgust.

‘
Do you think I should invite him to the wedding?’ I say thoughtfully. ‘After all, it seems a bit off not to.’

‘
The bed salesman,’ she says with a grimace. ‘Well, I suppose you could. A bit unusual but …’

‘
Not the bed salesman stupid. William. Do you think I should invite
William
to the wedding? God, I wonder if he’ll invite us to his.’

I push the ice
cream away.

‘
Don’t you want that salad?’ asks Muffy, eyeing it hungrily. How anyone can covet a salad is a mystery to me. I shove it towards her. My phone is ringing and I pull it from my handbag. It’s Oliver. Shit, I forgot to tell him how the interview went. Honestly, he seems to be the last person on my mind these days. That can’t be right can it?

‘
How did the interview go?’ he asks.

‘
I think I got the job,’ I say proudly.

‘
Well done, I knew you could do it. Well done honey, I’m proud of you.’

I smile and feel a warm glow run through me. I do love Oliver. I only wish I felt sure I was in love with him. He will make a good husband and a brilliant dad.

‘I’ve got an interview at Munroes next week. They want a senior surveyor, the agency thinks I’ve got a good chance,’ he says, sounding dead chuffed.

‘
That’s great Oliver, it really is. I bought a bed too, the sleigh one.’

He
’s really trying.

‘
Oh yeah did you hear, Ellis has got engaged.’

He had to go and ruin everything didn
’t he? I pull the ice cream back towards me but what was left has melted. I debate the penis but even I have principles and would never suck one that has been around a bit and let’s face it that one certainly has.

‘
Yeah, Muffy mentioned it,’ I say dismissively. ‘I’d better go Oliver, Muffy only has an hour and we have the fittings today.’

I click off and
beckon the waitress. Muffy pushes my hand down.

‘
Unless it is the bill you’re getting, forget it.’