Irrefutable (The Apprehensive Duet Book 2) (33 page)

“That is not true and that engagement was fake,” she argues before trying to turn the tables. “You don’t see me over here complaining that you go home to a woman you used to sleep with.”

“Don’t even try that bullshit,” I snap. “That’s completely unfounded and you know it. I never agreed to marry Tiffany. You agreed to marry the man and that’s not something you take lightly. I barely even got an ‘I love you’ out of you in almost two years and within a matter of months, you gave him everything I wanted. Do you know how that feels?”

Her mouth opens as she makes to say something, but I’m not done. Apparently, my brain is planning on leaving everything on the table today. “Plus, you’ve known about that between Tiff and I for a while and never said anything about having a problem with it. You’re trying to justify your behavior. Where I, on the other hand, already voiced my dislike of you being inconsiderate when it comes to spending hours upon hours together with him and leaving me behind with no thought at all. We’ve had how many conversations about this shit, Quinn? You forgot about me again and then you ask me to be happily waiting for you when you have time for me.

“You treat me like a pet. Expecting me to always be there for you when you get home, no matter how long you left me alone. The bulk of the time I get with you is spent sleeping. And whatever little time I do get with you at a normal part of the day, you spend talking to Jordan, about Jordan, or messaging Jordan. I just get a quick glance here and smile there while you pat my head. That’s not how this works.”

The words just flow. Everything I’m feeling spills from my lips with ease. I guess I’ve been a volcano waiting to erupt, and today’s the day.

I expected to see a look of contrition on Quinn’s face, but that’s not what’s there at all. Her lips are set in a thin, hard line. Her jaw is clenched and posture rigid. She’s pissed.

“If that’s how you feel, then why are we doing this? If you can’t get over yourself enough to support my career, then you don’t know me at all,” she seethes.

Nothing I’m saying to her is registering at all. She’s in defensive mode. For Quinn, the best defense is a good offense, so she’s putting her walls up and throwing fire just to lash out.

“I know you better than anyone else on this planet. I support everything you do including the things I don’t agree with, but I won’t tolerate being unimportant in your life. I’m not asking for much, and you can’t even be bothered to make a phone call to say you’re not making it. I rank so low on your list of priorities, I don’t even register.”

How can she not see that? Yes, I’m angry but I don’t want to fight with her, I want to talk it out and find a way to fix it that works for both of us. Listening to her jump right into talking nonsense is a blast from the past.

“I’m not the chick that’s going to hang all over you and not be able to get through a day without seeing you. If you need me to make you the center of my universe, then you got the wrong girl,” she says bluntly.

This is going nowhere fast. She’s in no mood to talk sensibly about this, and I honestly need a break from all the Quinn drama. There’s no doubt in my mind that I love her, but sometimes I really need quiet in my life. Life with Quinn has been a whirlwind these last six months and I wouldn’t mind a reprieve.

Quinn needs time to decide if she wants to make this work, because right now all I’m hearing is excuses. So before those excuses turn into something ugly, I tell her, “Go home, Quinn. If that’s how you really feel, then leave. Call when you decide to face the truth and deal with your problems like an adult.”

I turn away from her and retreat back into my bathroom. Turning the water on, I lean down and splash some water up onto my cheeks. Grabbing my toothbrush, I brush my teeth as a distraction while waiting to hear the door close.

Tonight was supposed to be a good night. A night for Quinn and I to relax, but instead it’s a fucking mess.

Of course, I don’t want a life without Quinn in it. But I also know I don’t want this current one with Quinn either. I can’t continue to let myself be okay with whatever she decides to give me. I may not be perfect, but I know I deserve more than this.

Regardless of how hard it would be to walk away from her, I refuse to let myself repeat the same mistakes I made in the past.

“ALL RIGHT, WHAT’S going on?” Ashley asks as soon as the waiter leaves the table. “Why’d you want to have lunch if you’re just going to be a bitch?”

She leans back into her chair and arches an eyebrow at me while resting her hands on her baby bump. “Wow, and I’m the bitch?”

I thought lunch with Ashley might cheer me up. My mood has been shitty since Alex kicked me out of his house two days ago. Sitting on my couch, staring at the walls, I decided to get out and do something, like lunch with Ashley. I assumed spending a little time with her on a cold Saturday doing things we used to do together before this whole thing with my father took over most of my life for the last year and half might warm me up, in more than one way, but maybe I was wrong.

“Quinn,” she huffs. “You called me out of the blue today and asked if I wanted to get together for lunch, which of course I do because getting any time out of you lately is a feat in itself. But if that lunch is going to consist of you grunting and scoffing and being a dick to the waiter, then you should’ve invited your bitchy friend, Blair, and you two could be miserable together while I’m home with Tanner and Michaela.”

The last thing I need right now is someone else getting on my case. I’m so over all this fighting and clawing to fight my way to the top. The only people I need to be in my life right now are the people who will help me build myself back up, not ones who want to pick apart everything I do. “I asked you because I wanted to see my best friend, but if you’re just going to sit here and give me shit too, then I see this was a bad idea,” I hiss.

Turning, I go to grab my purse from the back of my chair, fully intending on leaving, but Ashley has other ideas.

“Stop being a fucking baby and talk,” she scolds. “There’s obviously something you want to talk about so do it already. I’m here. I’m listening, but I can’t do shit if you’re going to throw a tantrum because I called you out on being a bitch.”

When did Ashley grow some balls?

“Looks like someone has grown a backbone…” I mutter under my breath as I turn back around in my seat.

“Looks like someone needs to grow theirs back,” she challenges, bracing her elbows on the table before leveling me with an expectant stare. “Start talking.”

My eyes gaze beyond her and watch the people walk past the windows of the little bistro we’re at. We found this place years ago after a trip to the mall in Paramus and fell in love with it. I haven’t been here in a long time.

A couple catches my eye and they look so happy it’s sickening. He wraps her up into a hug, shopping bags hitting her back, and she laughs up at him while smiling as though he’s her world. God, I want that. But I just don’t know if that’s ever going to work for me; it doesn’t seem to be in my cards. I just have to accept that. While I do believe in love and that it’s out there and it exists, that doesn’t mean that it happens for everyone.

“Alex and I had a fight,” I announce breaking the silence that’s been growing around our table.

Ash’s head nods slightly and reaches for her water. “Okay, everyone fights. Did you guys work it out?”

“No,” I tell her. “He doesn’t understand me or my life right now, so I don’t know if it can be fixed.”

“You’re not giving me much to work with here, Quinn,” she presses. “I can’t help if I don’t understand.”

Our waiter drops off the platter of fried food I forced Ash to have as an appetizer. I want comfort food for my shitty mood, and she’s going to eat it with me. I recount the whole argument from the other night as Ash and I put a serious dent in the food.

“And you just walked out?” Ash questions as she dips the last mozzarella stick in the marinara before eating it in two bites.

“He told me to leave,” I remind her. “What did you want me to do?”

Her eyes close and she hangs her head shaking it, as if I’m a child who just disappointed her. “It’s not about what I wanted you to do, dumbass. It’s about what Alex wanted you to do, and leaving wasn’t it.”

I grit my teeth trying to keep from snapping. “He kicked me out.”

“This is just like the time you got mad about him wanting to go your company party. You’re missing his point…”

“Here, you go, ladies,” the waiter smiles setting down our meals and interrupting.

Her eyes never leave my face and she thanks the waiter and continues, “He wants just a little bit of your attention. He wants to feel like he matters to you. You walking away because he asked you to just shows him how little he matters to you. You should’ve stayed. You should’ve been more open to hearing what he was saying. And it was a really low blow bringing Tiffany into it. You can’t compare the two situations. He almost had to stand by while you married Jordan. He slept with Tiffany once and she’s into chicks. Jordan thought he was in love with you.”

“I’ve never slept with Jordan,” I argue back. “And Jordan is my business partner and probably one of my best friends, but that’s it. There’s nothing to be jealous of. He’s dating Hailey.”

“This is something you have to deal with directly with Alex. I can’t speak on how he feels, but I can see where he’s coming from,” she says before taking a bite of her wrap.

I disagree. “The issue is now that he has some down time, he’s bored and mad because my job is the most important thing in my life. I’m not going to ignore work because he wants to play house. We’re in the middle of building a new company.”

Ashley places her food back down on the plate and gives a piercing icy stare. “You can’t be serious.”

“I…” That’s all I’m able to get out before she cuts me off.

“You’re an idiot. You’re doing the same thing right now that you did at my wedding. You’ve got some stupid ass idea in your head and you’re using it as an excuse to run. Grow the fuck up!” Her voice is loud but she’s not yelling. Her frustration and anger built those words and I feel it all. Inside her head, Ashley is screaming at me.

“What the fuck is your problem?” I spit back at her.

“I’m so fucking tired of this routine with you. I love you, I do, but I can’t stand seeing you doing this to yourself again. This is exactly what I would’ve done to you last time if I had the chance. He wants to feel like he fucking matters to you. That’s it. A simple fucking text is all he was asking for. How would you feel if I didn’t show up here today? You’d be calling me and telling me to fuck off for standing you up. That’s what you did to Alex. It fucking hurts and makes people feel like shit. Stop hurting him. Everything is great between the two of you. You guys made it through the storm. Stop looking for things that aren’t there. I won’t let you do this to him again.”

“Let me do this to him?” I snap. “He. Kicked. Me. Out.”

“And I’m glad he did,” she smiles sadistically. “At least it gives me some hope that he won’t let you destroy him completely this time. That man is one of the most important people in my life. I love him and I refuse to let you stomp all over his heart again. We lost him for two years because he was running from you and the hell you put him through. You changed him and made him into this harder, rougher, emptier man.

“All he’s ever done is love you. Every part of you, even the ugly ones, and all its gotten him is heartache and struggle. You don’t even see how selfish you are. It’s always all about you and what you want and need. He’s bent over backward to be the man you need. When are you going to start being the woman he needs, huh? He deserves that and more.”

What the hell just happened?

I want to yell out a bunch of things at Ashley’s back as she retreats from the table, pulling her coat on as she makes her way to the front door, but I’m in shock. That’s a reaction I never saw coming from Ashley. She’s usually very reserved in public as to not draw attention to herself, especially after Tanner just finished up a great season. Tanner and Ashley are pretty popular around these parts, so seeing her making even the slightest of scenes surprises the hell out of me.