Into the Fire (Bridge Book 2) (10 page)

I’d broken away from my parents’ expectations to live my own life, and here I was barely living it. I wasn’t getting past the first course every day of my life. I hadn’t even given myself a chance to get to the entrée. And Vanessa was the whole package. Something rang deep in me, like a voice I trusted that had been silent for way too long.

Piano, the tinkling of water glasses, and the not always quiet murmur of wall-to-wall suits. Those were sounds of the Theodore, an upscale restaurant several blocks from our office. Reilly was coming from another meeting, so we’d agreed to meet here.

I slicked my hands down my navy-blue sheath dress. I hadn’t seen Reilly all morning, and I’d been too bogged down with trying to catch up to guess what he wanted to discuss with me today. I maneuvered between tables, my black pumps clicking on the dark wood floors.

Even knowing the maître d’ would lead me right to Reilly, I scanned the room, trying to spot him first. He was a few feet away, drinking his seltzer water with lime, looking bored. A flash of worry that I’d kept him waiting too long sent heat to my palms. But when I arrived at the table, he managed a smile and rose.

“Vanessa. How are you?”

I sat and let the waiter pour my water. “I’m doing well, thank you.”

He studied me a moment, and I briefly wondered if he’d ever looked at me that way before. Everything seemed strange being back. Achingly familiar yet oddly foreign at the same time.

“I trust you enjoyed the break.”

I nodded quickly. “I did, very much. It was…rejuvenating.” Not sure if he could comprehend it, but mere mortals needed a recharge every once in a while.

“I believe it. You look different. More rested, maybe.”

I couldn’t help but laugh a little. Nights with Darren had taken a bite out of my sleep, but he was no doubt the reason for any lingering glow. I missed him more than I wanted to admit.

“You were missed, of course.”

“Thank you. I’ve been doing my best to catch up today. I can’t say that I was really prepared to dive right into a review today, but—”

“It’s not what you think. I want to offer you a job.”

I lifted my eyebrows. “A job?”

“I’m leaving the firm. An old colleague of mine, Bill Donovan, and I are starting up a hedge fund. Someone else will be taking my place, and you can either come with me or stay with them. The choice is entirely yours.”

“Oh…wow.”

He canted his head, as if he expected me to make a decision that instant.

“Well, I guess that brings up a lot of questions about the job you’re offering me. Can you tell me what would be expected of me?”

“Much of the same.”

A fresh wave of dread mixed in with the anxiety this conversation was already creating for me. Was he going to make me decide right now?

Maybe I didn’t hate David Reilly per se, but I hated working for him. That wasn’t the vacation talking, I assured myself. But what if I said no and lost my job?

He was driven, possessive, and cutthroat. I never wanted to get in the man’s crosshairs. I didn’t put it past him to be vindictive in any way that suited him.

The waiter came and delivered two endive salads.

Reilly thanked him curtly and nodded toward me. “I ordered for you. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Thank you.” I fiddled with my napkin. “Would anything be different?”

“We’ve secured an office in Midtown, so your commute would be a bit longer. We’ll be traveling quite a bit too. I’ll be keeping my finger on the pulse of the major foreign markets. I’ll need your support for that.”

I chewed on my salad, delaying any response.

“The most significant difference in the job, outside of the travel, is the pay. I’m no longer limited by the firm’s policies. I’ve discussed your salary with my partner, and we’re prepared to double what you’re currently making.”

I coughed and vinaigrette stung my throat. Double. Jesus.

“Wow.”

“That’s the second time you’ve said that. You’re either completely stunned or you’re stalling. What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking…”

“Vanessa.”

I swallowed carefully and took a drink of my water, buying myself some precious seconds before I spoke.

“I came into this position at entry level. I was never sure what to expect from it for the long-term. What you’re proposing now sounds like I’d be turning it into a career.”

He chuckled. “Well, what else would you do, Vanessa?”

His words stung. I knew I was capable of more than catering to his every whim and want, but I also didn’t exactly have a lot of other opportunities lined up. I moved to the city on a wing and prayer, grateful that a college friend had hooked me up with Reilly. He’d kept me too busy for me to think of anything else.

“I’m not sure. I hadn’t really thought about it.”

He leaned in, forcing my attention to his shrewd gray eyes. “Let me be completely honest with you. You were missed this week. By others, but no one missed your presence more than I did. I’m not trying to win you over by telling you that this is an enormous opportunity I’m offering. It’s the truth. Executive assistants are a dime a dozen. I’m choosing you.” He pointed at me with his fork and then returned his attention to the salad in front of him.

“I’m flattered.” Not really, but hearing those kinds of words from him was unusual. Also he was offering to double my salary, which was a raise I badly needed.

“Then say yes. Say you’ll come with me.”

I wanted to think about it. This was all too fast, but that’s how Reilly worked. Everything always moved fast, and most days I could keep up without hesitation.

But not today. Today I was overwhelmed, and I wasn’t in the right mind-set for any of this. My head was still on an island, and my heart was aching for the man who’d worked his way into it.

“Vanessa?”

Thoughts whizzed through my mind in an unintelligible blur as I struggled to find the right words. But there was only one word.

“Yes.” I offered a tight smile. “If those are your terms, I’ll come with you.”

“Excellent.”

He smiled, a genuine smile that almost gave me hope. Maybe this reenlistment would mean a better working relationship between us. Maybe with more money came more respect. Then again, maybe not.

“
W
ait
!” Eli’s voice went high-pitched as we approached the first turn up the stairs.

I took a few seconds to catch my breath, even if the muscles in my arms burned from holding the heavy end of my chair. It was old, made of a burnished orange fabric. When I saw it at the secondhand store, the price was right and I knew it could be a chair that I could love, even if it didn’t earn many compliments. Especially now as Eli and I struggled to get it to the second floor without killing ourselves. Ugly as it may have been, it was heavy as hell.

“Okay, go,” Eli said.

Together we took slow steps up the narrow stairway.

“Hey, let me help with that.”

Darren’s voice echoed up to me, and then he was next to me, easily taking the weight that I carried.

“I’ve got this end,” Eli grunted.

“Just let go and get out of the way, Eli. I’ve got it.”

Eli lowered his end, and that quickly, Darren hoisted the old heavy chair above him, narrowly avoiding the stairway ceiling. Balancing it on his shoulders, he carried it swiftly the rest of the way up and through the doorway into what was soon to be
my place
.

He dropped it gently in the corner of the living room and stood, looking barely winded.

“Thanks,” I said, wiping invisible dust off the chair. “What are you doing here?”

“You said you were moving. Figured you needed some help.”

I shrugged, trying to ignore the pinch in my shoulders from the boxes I’d already carried up today. “We’re good. Thanks though.”

Eli shot me an exasperated look. No one ever wanted to be the one to help with a move, but hell, that’s what friends were for. Maya and Cameron weren’t coming back from their honeymoon for another day, so it was just us.

Having Darren in the space already made me uneasy. Never mind his blatant show of brawn. Never mind the way his shirt rode up, giving me a glimpse of the body that I’d had all to myself not so long ago. A few minutes ago, I’d felt the apartment, even in its haphazard mid-move state, was becoming mine. Now all I could think about was how Darren’s presence changed how I saw everything. My bed wasn’t just a place to collapse after a long day. It was a haven I wanted to share with him. This was a place to start over, but one night in my bed, he’d be here forever in my mind.

“I told you I could handle it.”

“Vanessa, seriously. We’ve been at this for hours already.” Eli had gone from exasperated to pissed.

Darren’s gaze skated between my new roommate and me. “Eli, you hungry?”

“Hell, yes.”

“Me too.” Darren pulled out his wallet, fished out a few bills, and offered them to Eli. “Go grab us some pizza at Tony’s down the street. I’ll take care of the rest of this.”

“Deal. I’ll get the pizza. Least I can do.” Eli waved away the bills and slipped past me.

He disappeared down the corridor, leaving us in the silence of the half-furnished apartment.

“What are you doing?” The edge in my tone surprised me, but I was hungry and confused and already wiped of energy from getting back into the swing of things at work.

“I told you, I’m helping you move.”

“I don’t need your help.”

His jaw tightened, and his stare burned into me with an intensity I hadn’t seen in him. Stalking closer, he pinned me with that look.

“I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere until you’re moved in. You want to kick me out then, fine. I don’t know what the hell happened between that last night on the island and now, but I’m lost.”

My jaw fell a fraction, that last word catching me off guard. I knew what he meant. I’d done a complete one-eighty since the trip and didn’t bother telling him why. But that word…lost. That was a good word for the emotional scrambling I’d done, trying to convince myself that Darren didn’t want me for anything more than a casual hookup.

Every minute that passed, I convinced myself a little more that all those unspoken moments between us weren’t as powerful to him as they’d been for me. Every careful touch, every way I’d broken myself open and given myself to him.

His tipped my chin, lifting my gaze to meet his. “Talk to me,” he said gently, his searching stare no less determined.

“You came here to talk?”

He winced. “What the hell does that mean?”

“We spent half that trip in your bed. I figured you’d show up wanting more than a friendly chat.”

Not that I would have minded a hookup. But that wasn’t the routine I wanted to get into with him.

I wanted a relationship. Yes, I realized that now. I’d been missing companionship for too long, and maybe with the right person, I could make it work with my insane schedule working for Reilly. But Darren wasn’t my happily ever after. He was my off-the-charts-happy-until-it’s-over. My heart couldn’t take that.

I walked away from his touch, trying to ignore how the air went cold around me the farther I went.

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” I stared down at my hands, trying to brush the dirt from them. “I’m sorry if I’ve been distant.”

“You’ve been unreachable. I have to admit, I’m not used to being ignored so completely.”

I closed my eyes a moment and released a tired sigh. “I knew things wouldn’t be the same, and I just needed some time to come to terms with that.”

“Just because we’re back in New York doesn’t mean things have to change. I mean, I want to see you. I want to…” His lips fell open, but no more words came.

“As much as I wish I could, I can’t be the kind of girl you go for, Darren. Maybe because I find it nearly impossible to say no to you, I let myself go further than I normally would have last week. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and let myself care about you even knowing that it wasn’t going to last. But the truth is, I can’t be with someone and then flip a switch and pretend like it didn’t mean that much.”

“I’m not asking you to. The time we spent together meant something to me too.” He walked closer, and his voice became quiet. “I have a colorful past, okay? I don’t deny it. But that doesn’t mean I’m not capable of anything else. When I met you for the first time months ago, I wanted you. It was physical. I had no idea all of this would go down. That I’d want you the way I do, that I wouldn’t be able to look at anyone else the same. I wasn’t expecting any of this, but I’m not going to let it pass me by without giving it a shot.”

“If you’re talking about a relationship…”

“Yes.” He swallowed hard, and tension lined his face, as if this were so far from his practiced pick up lines.

He cuffed my wrist with his hand, and his thumb settled over the place on where my heartbeat could be felt.

“What are you doing?” I whispered.

“Making sure your heart’s doing exactly what mine is.”

I shook my head. My heart was flying. I couldn’t believe Darren Bridge was saying these things. That I believed him. “I don’t know what to say.”

He brought my wrist to his lips, softly kissing the flesh. “Say you’ll see me. Say that you’ll try to make this work with me, against all your better judgment.”

I struggled to bring air back into my lungs. “I want to say yes.”

“Then say yes, for fuck’s sake.”

“I don’t want to be a hookup, Darren. My heart can’t take it.”

“You were never a hookup. Never were and never will be. Understand?”

Before I could answer him, his lips were on mine, soft and determined all at once. I surrendered to the kiss and his touch, melting against him like I’d always belonged right there.

Between my schedule and his past, I had no idea how we would make it work. But it’d been so long since I’d let my heart feel this way. All the tiny shreds of doubt I’d been clinging to fell away in his arms. The perfect way he kissed me was a reminder that if we could find a way to bring that week of paradise home, maybe we could have it all.

The weekend seemed too far away, but that was all Vanessa could completely commit to. Her boss kept her running pretty hard, and she had a lot of catching up to do. The whole thing sounded stressful and reminded me too much of the life my dad led.

Ian and I arrived at the gym just as Olivia was approaching the big glass double doors. A few strands of her long black hair swept up with the wind as we came in. She smiled brightly. For a split second, I saw the little girl who’d looked up to me her whole life, who’d trusted me to protect her and take care of her when our parents weren’t around. And of course tease the shit out of her.

“Hey, I was just taking off. Are you coming to dinner tonight?”

“Dinner?”

“Cam and Maya are cooking a feast.” Her blue-eyed gaze wandered to Ian and lingered there a little too long. “You’re welcome too, if you want.”

He shot her his signature smile, the one that made models fall on their backs. “Sounds great. I’m Ian, by the way.”

He shook her hand, and her cheeks grew pink.

I frowned between the two of them, but neither seemed to notice. “Actually, Ian and I might be hitting the bar later. I’ll let you know if we’re going to swing by though.”

She glanced back to me. I probably did a shitty job of schooling my discontent because her smile fell away quickly.

“Okay. Sure. I guess I’ll see you later.”

She waved without looking back at either of us and passed through the doors.

“What the fuck was that?” My tone was clipped.

Ian raised his eyebrows. “What?”

“Touch my sister, and I’ll slit your throat. Got it?”

Last thing I needed was someone like Ian setting his sights on my sister. I didn’t know how innocent she was, but suffice to say she’d always be innocent to me. And Ian was the furthest thing from innocent.

He glanced back toward Olivia’s figure disappearing down the street and out of view before returning to me with a nod. “Got it.”

I stared a second longer, making sure he understood I wasn’t kidding. I liked Ian. I didn’t want to have to kill him.

His face split with a smile. “Dude, you need to get laid. You’re turning into an uptight motherfucker.”

I sighed, because I couldn’t lie. “Yeah. I know. That’s why I’m here every day.”

True enough, life hadn’t been the same since the trip. Work was the same, but when it came to unwinding, I ended up blowing off steam at the gym.

We walked into the weight room, and I scanned the room for familiar faces. The only one I wanted to see was Vanessa’s. I had to find my way back into her world, one that was proving to be increasingly difficult to breach with her schedule. I didn’t think I had an addictive personality, but when it came to being with her, I was hooked. And I needed my fix.

Maybe patience wasn’t a word in my dictionary, but I was willing to find some when it came to her. I could have called up a dozen women to satisfy the physical need that gnawed at me a little more every day, but Vanessa was the one I wanted. And as much as I ached for her, I didn’t want to make her feel like the hookup she worried she’d become to me.

“We’ll fix you up tonight, man.”

I shook my head. “Nah. I’m good.”

I racked up my bar with weights and did a set. The rush and the burn and the slight fatigue that hit my muscles were all welcome sensations.

“You strung up on someone?”

Hell, I was going to have to break the news to Ian eventually.

I sat up and thought back to the only time they’d met. “You remember the girl at the bar?”

He chuckled. “You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“The singer.”

He lifted his eyebrows. “Oh,
that
girl at the bar. Yeah. She was smokin’.”

“I wasn’t sure you’d remember. You were pretty distracted.”

He laughed. “Oh, yeah. We had a good time. All three of us. Thanks for the back up.” He winked.

I rolled my eyes. Further evidence that I needed to keep him a mile away from my sister.

“So how was she?”

I could reminisce in my head all day long on the mind-blowing sex we’d had, and I often did, but I wasn’t going to regale Ian with the nitty gritty of our more intimate moments. The devil knew he had plenty of his own fodder to work with, anyway.

“She’s incredible,” I said simply. “I want to take her out. Do something special. All she does is work lately, and I can’t exactly tell her to stop.”

“Sounds familiar.”

I smirked. “It’s not work when it’s your dream job, man.”

“True. I’m guessing she’s not at her dream job.”

“Not exactly. She’s someone’s personal assistant.”

He wrinkled his nose and switched places with me at the squat bar. “So what? You’re going to try dating her?”

“Yeah.”

He shot me a wary look, full of doubt and probably fueled by his own ignorance.

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Seems like a lot of work when we could hit the bar after work and you could have your pick. Or just take a spin through your contacts.”

As he said that, my phone dinged with a text.

One of the girls I’d trained at the gym last month, Ellie.

D
id you have plans tonight
? I’m free.

I
shot off a quick reply
.
Not tonight.
Of course, the answer was not ever, but I didn’t know quite how to word that yet. When I glanced up, Ian was staring at me.

“How are you going to clear the bench, Bridge?”

I shrugged. “I’ll figure it out. I’m more worried about making this work with Vanessa right now.”

I changed the subject quickly, simultaneously ignoring the problem that I could feel taking root a little more deeply.