Into the Fire (Bridge Book 2) (9 page)

Then someone knocked on the door.

“Fuck.” The curse came out with enough force that Vanessa jolted.

I stood, and she pulled the sheet back up, covering up her luscious body.

I wiped my mouth and tried to get my raging hard-on under control as I went to answer the door. I opened it a crack. Eli stood there, arms crossed.

“What?” Wasn’t the most amiable greeting, but I had a beautiful woman in my bed and I wasn’t thrilled to be pulled away.

“Is Vanessa in there?”

I frowned. “Who wants to know?”

“Well, half the wedding party will probably want to know when she doesn’t show up for brunch. It starts in ten minutes.”

“Oh, shit.” Vanessa’s voice rang out from inside the room.

I shut the door on Eli and turned. She was already up and scrambling to get her clothes on. I watched her, desire and disappointment swirling. My dick was still throbbing, and I wasn’t ready to give up yet.

I stood between her and the door as she walked toward me dressed as she had been last night, but looking like she’d been thoroughly fucked since. I stretched my arms out, touching either side of the short hallway, blocking her exit.

“Don’t run out yet.”

She blinked up at me with tired thoughtful eyes. “I want to stay. Trust me.”

“It’s a brunch. What about me?”

She smirked. “What about you, Darren?”

I ran my tongue against my lower lip. “I’m trying to think of something clever to say, but the truth is I want to eat your pussy so fucking bad right now I can’t think straight.”

She made a breathy sound as I took a step closer to her.

“You know I want to say yes.”

“Then say yes,” I murmured softly, tucking back an untamed lock of hair.

“I’m going to be late as it is. I’m a mess.”

“But I made you that way, and thinking about that is making me even harder.”

The smudge of makeup around her eyes, the tangles in her hair, and the wrinkles in her dress were all satisfying reminders of night before.

“I can be quick,” I lied. I pushed up the hem of her dress hopefully.

“But I don’t want you to be. I like when you take your time with me.” Her lips twisted into a coy smile.

I pulled her to me, looping my arm around her waist possessively. “Come right back.”

She laughed and slapped my shoulder. “They’re expecting you too. Get ready, and I’ll see you there.”

I groaned and nipped her earlobe. There was no denying it now. I was seriously addicted to this woman.

T
he last few
days on the island flew by. Maya, Eli, and I wandered off to do a few excursions together. I couldn’t remember when we’d had so much fun together laughing and goofing off.

Most days Darren found his way to me, at my side, a place where it seemed he’d always been. Our eyes spoke a language only we knew. Our hands found each other at the same time. Something invisible existed and grew between us that completed a dangerous fantasy…the fantasy that somehow this amazing connection between us could survive in the real world.

And when the night came, he didn’t need to ask. I was there. Knocking on his door, falling into his arms, ready for everything he would give me for the short time we were going to be together.

When we were finally alone, we were desperate for each other. Tearing at our clothes, kissing hungrily, eager to be connected again. My body was tender from having him every night, but my hunger for him couldn’t wane. He took me someplace else, and the faraway look in his eye when he followed me into sweet oblivion was one I’d never tire of giving him.

Our last night together was bittersweet. He made love to me slowly, drawing out every sensual touch. I trembled from being so on edge, but I didn’t want it to end either. Something about that last night felt final. Meaningful, but heavy with all the things we weren’t saying.

We didn’t let sleep take us until the sky outside started to lighten. When I woke a few hours later, Darren slumbered beside me in the bed we’d shared night after night.

I took another snapshot in my mind. Our little slice of paradise.

But nothing could last forever.

I leaned over and kissed his shoulder. He didn’t rouse.

Feeling sad and blessed and not ready to leave, I dressed and crept out to my room to gather the last of my things before we left for the airport.

* * *

T
he journey home seemed shorter
. Maybe I should have been ready for the shift, but I found myself hating every minute that passed, taking us farther from our island escape.

We touched down after a rocky descent. Darren’s hand warmed my tight grip on the armrest. I finally let go and took a breath, but the relief was short-lived.

Through the tiny window, the New York City sky was a dull gray, as if I needed the extra contrast to remind me of the inevitable. I powered on my phone, which promptly blew up with missed texts. I gave up trying to catch up after a few minutes and tossed the phone in my bag.

Darren and I made our way to the taxi line, our group scattered in various stages of arrival. I could barely look at him, because somehow I knew this was it. The dread in my gut told me before he could. No matter what we really wanted, things would change. We couldn’t bring paradise home with us. Life didn’t work that way.

The cab pulled up, and Darren loaded my bags in the trunk, saving the driver the task. I opened the door, eager to move on but not to say good-bye.

“Hey, wait.”

I held onto the door, as if that could keep me grounded.

Darren turned me to him, brought us close, like we were precious to each other. He cradled my cheek and lifted my gaze to his. I steeled myself against the emotions that threatened to unravel me. My throat burned with all the things I wanted to say, all the things he’d made me feel on this trip that I was terrified of never feeling with someone else again.

I was falling in love with Darren. The truth of it stung even worse because I knew this could be it. He hadn’t promised me forever. Didn’t change the fact that I wanted a chance at it.

“You okay?”

I nodded. “I’m fine. Tired, that’s all.”

He hesitated, and I hated every tense second between us. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it now.

“I’ll call you,” he said after a moment’s silence.

I smiled weakly and accepted his lips when they swept across mine.

Maybe he would. Maybe he wouldn’t. All I knew was that in a matter of minutes we’d be farther apart than we’d been in a week, and already I was missing him like a hopeless fool.

The nights we’d spent together were already memories. Every time our paths crossed, I’d remember this bliss. How could I ever forget it?

I suppose it was better than never having had it.

I closed my eyes and pushed down all the wishing and hoping. I couldn’t know right now what the future would bring, and now wasn’t the time to ask him. We’d just have to see how things played out.

I took another pass through the gym. I checked the machines in each room, straightened the weights, and ensured everything was in its proper place. This was my usual routine, but somehow everything felt off. Familiar but strangely lacking. Like something was missing.

I’d traveled all over the world when I was in the service, and still I couldn’t remember feeling this off balance coming home.

I moved over to the pull-up bar, letting it take my weight for a second. The rough texture of the metal under my palm, the periodic clink of the machines, and the breathing of the people using them—everything faded into the background and my thoughts floated to Vanessa. Spread out for me, peach skin against the clean white sheets. Saying my name like a prayer as I made her mine, night after night. I tightened my hand around the bar and fought the surge of arousal at the erotic vision.

I closed my eyes and something happened. Emotion curled up around the physical feeling. A mix of excitement and pure terror. A combined sensation I couldn’t name, couldn’t touch because it flew too fast over me, rocked me, forced Vanessa back into my mind. Her rapture, arching under me, clinging to me like she couldn’t live without me. And I’d felt the same. I’d needed her physically, yes. Desperately. But more. I craved her in a way that was beginning to scare the shit out of me. It’d only been a couple of days, but already I couldn’t stop thinking about her.

“Earth to Darren.”

A throaty female voice tore the intoxicating visions from my mind. My eyes shot open. The sounds of the gym came back in a rush. Delilah was beside me, her dark toned body displayed proudly in her tight gym outfit.

“Hey…sorry.” I let out a breath and released my aching grip on the bar.

“I haven’t seen you in a while.”

She didn’t just mean the gym, though she saw me here plenty. Delilah and I had enjoyed a few rendezvous, but more often I knew her as “DJ,” Delilah Jackson, a seasoned and skilled medic we occasionally worked with on emergencies.

She grinned. “Want to spot me?”

I inhaled another deep breath and nodded. “Sure.”

I followed her to the weight rack, and she stacked up an impressive pile of weights on the bench press.

“How have you been? You seem distracted.”

“Just getting back into the swing of things since the trip. Brain is still on vacation.”

“Cry me a river. Last week was hell. You missed some real winners. Just enough warm weather for people to start stabbing each other.”

I chuckled, almost jealous. Shifts weren’t the same without people like Ian and Delilah talking shit and going through hell right beside you. I liked that about Delilah—that we’d seen some shit together. Working together on as many emergencies as we had seemed like a lesser version of war. That we’d slept together on occasion didn’t seem to matter. If either of us ended the night with one too many, horny as hell, the invitation was always open. Until she met a girl a few months ago and we were back to being colleagues. We hadn’t skipped a beat.

“How’s the new girl?”

She smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

I did and I didn’t. “I’d like to know how you can you switch teams like that. You have no idea what that does to the egos of the men who’ve been to bed with you.”

She laughed and reached up to start a new set.

“How do you screw a new flavor every week, Darren? Or are you so single-minded that you think all women are the same by way of their shared anatomy?”

I shook my head. “Not all the same. Definitely not.”

Vanessa wasn’t like anyone else. Something about her, or maybe the whole package, called to me, got under my skin the way no one ever had.

Delilah finished her set and sat up. Wiping her forehead with a towel, she looked up at me. “So who is it?”

I frowned. “Huh?”

“Who’s got your head in the clouds, Casanova?”

“I’m not talking chicks with you, Delilah.”

“Why not? You know I’m not the type to get catty. I know you a lot better than the girls who get tangled up in your web of abs and charm. I know you mess around.”

I hesitated, but who the hell was I going to talk to? Cam? Definitely not Ian.

“I met someone a while ago, and we’ve… I guess we’re…”

“You’re sleeping together,” she interjected matter-of-factly.

“We did, yeah.”

“Okay. And now what? Are you dating?”

“She was on the trip. I don’t think that counts as dating. We were inseparable all week. But I haven’t seen her since I got back, so I can’t really say what we are now.”

“But you can’t stop thinking about her.”

“I guess so.”

I drew in a breath and fixed my attention on Delilah’s eyes, one of her best features. She was a pretty woman. Confident, fit. But she wasn’t Vanessa. No one came close.

I hadn’t been able to think straight since I’d seen her last. Once she’d decided to give in to me on the island, everything had been amazing. Pure magic between us. And then she’d gone cold the second we landed in New York. She’d barely said a word, yet it seemed like, in the silence between us, she was telling me it was over. Our little tryst had ended.

And that’s what I’d wanted. I wanted to fuck around while we were away and come back to my life.

This life. The gym. Long days at the station. Nights out with friends. With women who meant nothing to me.

Except I didn’t want them. I wanted her.

“I texted her to see if she wanted to get together. She’s busy moving apartments this week.”

“She’s moving apartments, and she doesn’t need your help? Sounds like she’s blowing you off. Also, texting her sounds like you want to hook up. They’re not all like me, Darren.”

I met her smile. Delilah wasn’t typical, but I could see her point.

“So what do I do? Show up out of the blue? Force her to let me take her out?”

“Well, I don’t know this woman, but I’m guessing one of two things. Either you—Darren, the player of all players—got played, or—”

“I’m not a player,” I interrupted. “There’s always an understa—”

“Oh, shut up. There will always be an understanding when a girl can’t help but want to drop her panties for you. Doesn’t mean she’s never going to want a relationship. You can delude yourself into thinking everything is cut and dried every time, but trust me, you’ve broken hearts. Takes one to know one.” She stood and draped her towel over the bar and faced me. “The second scenario is that she knows you’re a selfish dick when it comes to women, and while you may have had fun together on your trip, she doesn’t want it to go any further and get hurt.”

I didn’t necessarily consider myself a selfish person. I saved people’s lives after all, some of whom barely warranted saving, but I did it all the same. Then again, I’d seen how fleeting life could be. How one day everything could fall apart for someone.

Life was short. Maybe I was selfish, and I couldn’t justify devoting my life to someone who could compromise my happiness for a single minute. The question was whether I was capable of being true to a woman like Vanessa. Could I promise her something more and keep that promise, after years of never letting myself get tied down? What we’d shared on the island had been amazing, but could I change everything for her…just like that?

I thought of Vanessa and how I’d been drawn to her, over and over again. She challenged me, sure. But I wasn’t unhappy for it. I was barely annoyed when she called me out on my shit. I probably registered relief more than anything. A breath of fresh air. Not the toxic air of a bar, filled with perfumes and body heat and sweet liquors that came off the girls who I knew damn well would get on their knees and do whatever I asked after three martinis.

Not Vanessa. She was light, and real, and brought an intensity into my world I’d never known.

“She’s not a player. I’ve never met anyone like her before. We connected, and not just physically.”

“Do you think she feels the same way?”

The look in Vanessa’s eyes, the way she smiled at me, touched me, came for me. Yes.

I gave a slight nod, as if saying the word out loud might jinx everything.

“If she does, deep down she wants to see you as much as you want to see her right now.”

“So what do I do?”

“You’ve never struck me as the kind of guy to let an obstacle come in the way of what he wants. Maybe it breaks all the rules in your playbook, but chase the damn woman. Do what you’ve got to do.”

I racked more weights, switched places with Delilah, and pushed through a set with Vanessa dominating my mind. What did I really want? What the hell was I made of? The more I thought about the life I’d been living, the more I wanted to change it.