Into His Keeping (25 page)

“I know. You didn’t plan on me impacting your life. But consider this. Your mother did. She knew me well enough to know I’d be very interested in you. Can you respect her wishes and make an effort?”

Holdin knew Drifter was scared. Right now that fear was translating to anger and he’d become the target. If he let it go, being the bad guy would continue to grow. If he couldn’t reach Drifter and find a common ground to make this an event they got through together, their relationship might never grow beyond that anger and resentment.

“Your mother’s first concern is always going to be you. I don’t want to change that. It’s why she risked her life to bring us together. Our relationship is so important to her that she was willing to die for it. I can’t take that lightly. I hope you don’t. She didn’t expect anything out of our meeting for herself. You got that, right? When she wakes up, she’ll need our support as much as she needed it before. Seeing us struggling with each other will create stress she doesn’t need. Her main concern should be recovering, not refereeing between you and me.”

Holdin paused, hoping what he was saying was making an impression on the angry young man. “I’m not saying you have to pretend to like me for her. All I’m asking is that we get to know each other. We both want what’s best for her. That’s a place to start, to try for her.”

Drifter regarded Holdin in silence a few seconds and then the need to move forced him out of his chair. Holdin watched the rangy young man pace over to the window. He stopped to stare out it, arms crossed over his chest, legs stiff. Tension flowed around Drifter in angry waves as he stood with his back to them. Carol moved to get up but Charles gently laid a hand on her arm to hold her back.

Holdin went to the other side of the window, standing in a mirror image of his son, gazing out blindly at the bright summer morning outside. After a few minutes, Holdin began talking. He wasn’t looking at the boy as he started telling him about how it was to be fourteen and reared all over the world. The Powells had been a Navy family. There was no money for extras. His interest in cars could only be fed through magazines.

The information flowed out of Holdin in a steady stream that wasn’t complaining, it was more a humorous, self-depreciating story of a boy whose interests were very similar to those Drifter harbored. Shortly Drifter was interested enough to ask questions. They weren’t exactly having a conversation but it was getting there. In the telling, Holdin included the recounting of some of his young antics that had gotten him into trouble. Carol and Charles naturally joined the conversation, adding details Holdin left out.

Eventually Drifter began telling them how he’d learned about cars. Their apartment building was next to a family-owned service station. The owner was a mechanic as were his sons. Hector Chavez knew a boy who needed to be involved when he saw one.

The Chavez family was a hard-working bunch who’d built a reputation for good work at reasonable prices. They didn’t have much to share but what they did have was male companionship and an appreciation for the willingness to learn. They’d apparently folded Drifter into their lives and by extension, his mother.

Holdin mentally made a commitment to find a way to repay the debt he owned them. Perhaps repay was reaching too far but he certainly owed them his thanks. There really was no way to repay the generosity they’d showed his son.

Charles Powell looked his son in the eye and raised a brow. Holdin nodded. The Powells owed a lot to the Chavez family.

Time passed. The conversation didn’t make it go faster. Everyone watched the clock. What it did give them was some ground to meet each other on. Drifter wasn’t a stiff, defensive mass anymore and Holdin found investing in Drifter’s comfort was more rewarding than he’d thought it could be. It wasn’t painful to acknowledge the life Jill and Drifter had led. It was simply the facts. Reality.

Letting those years they’d struggled alone bother him was a selfish point of view, one that revolved around him and what he’d lost by not being there. Parts of the story gave Holdin a heavy heart but for the most part, he had to admire how Jill had reared their son. Accepting that nothing could change the past gave him a small measure of peace. The future was the only thing he could be involved with and nothing would keep him from that task.

But he couldn’t afford to even glance into the future right now. The unknowns were too great. Knowing he was a selfish bastard about Jill didn’t make it go away. The possibility of her not knowing him after surgery was too painful to deal with. Focusing on Drifter gave him some satisfaction. This would never be taken from him. His son.

While they were talking, a technician came in to do the DNA swabs. A long-handled Q-tip was used to gather cells from the inside of their mouths. It was quickly done and the tech left.

Drifter regarded Holdin seriously as she disappeared. “What if it’s not you?”

Holdin smiled. “Give up that hope, buddy. Didn’t my mom show you the pictures of me at your age?”

Drifter shrugged. “Yeah. I know. It just seems too strange.”

“What’s so strange about it? You knew there had to be a guy.”

“But you’re you. This famous, rich guy from TV. It’s strange.”

“It’ll get stranger. Wait ‘til everyone knows you’re the son of the famous, rich guy from TV.”

Drifter laughed. “I guess it could be worse. You could be a teacher or something. You know, geeky nerd.”

“You’ve thought about that, haven’t you? Wondered who your father was. Were you worried someone would just show up someday?”

Drifter jammed his hands into his pockets. “I figured it was a possibility. Could have gotten ugly if Mom didn’t remember him and junk.”

Holdin nodded and glanced away to give Drifter some emotional space as he asked the next question. “So what was your plan?”

“I don’t know. I sorta thought we might have to run away from him at first.”

“You ever talk to your mom about this?”

“Naw. She’d have told me not to worry about it. She thinks I’m still a baby sometimes. I talked to Mr. Chavez about it.”

“What did he say?”

“He said the guy couldn’t take me from Mom and if he became a problem to let him know. Mr. Chavez wasn’t always a mechanic, you know.” Drifter continued ominously. “There was a revolution where he comes from in South America. He used to be some sort of military. Anyway, I had him watchin’ our back.”

“Sounds like you took care of the problem,” Holdin responded, being careful not to imply judgment one way or the other on this surprising development.

Drifter and Holdin had sat down after the DNA test. Carol and Charles had left the waiting room to bring back some soft drinks for everyone and it was just the two of them.

“Mom doesn’t want me to learn how to use a gun. Mr. Chavez thinks I’m ready but it scares Mom to death. He promised to teach me when I turn sixteen if she says it’s okay and I still want to.”

“Protecting your family is very important, I agree with you.” Holdin weighed his next response. He understood the man-child’s frustration when he’d realized he wasn’t strong enough to protect his mother. That must have been a frightening insight when it occurred to him. Normally there should have been a father to fulfill that role for a boy. If everything had been as it should have been, he’d have naturally taught his son how to be his partner protecting the family.

The personality Drifter was displaying was all too familiar. He came from people who’d come out here into the unknown west with barely more than their wits to protect them. They’d brought their families and carved a life out of the ground. Protecting home and family was imprinted on males from birth apparently. The instinct had bloomed in the boy when he was too young to have resources to handle it. But Drifter had. He’d looked around his world and made arrangements.

Drifter nodded and glanced away as Carol and Charles returned. A few minutes later Robert Coates entered the room. The tall doctor was still in surgery scrubs, eliciting an air of confident control as he regarded them and smiled. Holdin’s first reaction was fear then relief as he rose to meet the man at eye level. He needed that small measure of control.

“The surgery was textbook,” Coates informed them. “Jill appears fine. She’s said a few things to us in recovery when asked questions, so she’s lucid. As for her memory, there is nothing we can do now but wait and see. She’ll be out of recovery in under an hour. Then she’ll need to sleep as the drugs wear off.”

Holdin realized he’d been unconsciously holding his breath and let it out. She was alive. That was the most important concern. Deep in his soul fear still churned in burning intensity, this news only relieved a small portion of it. Life didn’t mean she was fine. All it meant was there was hope.

Everyone had stood up expectantly when Coates appeared in the door. Drifter walked to him. “When can I see Mom? I don’t care if she’s sleeping. I want to be with her as soon as she wakes up.”

Robert put a hand on Drifter’s shoulder and squeezed affectionately. “I know you do. As soon as we can, I’ll get you in the room with her,” he promised.

“What did she say?” Drifter wanted to know.

“Nothing that tells us much more than she’s conscious and functioning. This is not the time to stress her. She can move toes and fingers, which means she’ll have full function. She can respond logically. That’s all very good news. It’s what we want to see right after surgery. She needs rest.”

“So you’re not worried?” Drifter pressed for reassurance.

“Son, she is alive and functioning. That was the motive for this surgery. Without it, she’d have sustained brain damage and possibly died. As her surgeon, I consider the procedure a success.” Robert sighed and glanced at the adults behind Drifter then focused his attention on the boy again. “Personally, I have no doubt that she’ll know who you are. The area of the brain the bone chip affected was not a primary memory center. Try to relax. She’ll need to know you’re okay when she wakes up.”

There was little more Robert could tell them but Holdin had difficulty focusing on it. The bit of information Robert had been reluctant to say was huge. The doctor had used the information to soothe Drifter and obviously been unsure if the adults in the room would understand what he was saying in light of the whole case. Jill’s memory centers had not been affected by the recent trauma. Coates agreed with the original diagnosis that her loss of memory was not a medical problem. It had been due to some other cause. She’d told him when they met in the soda fountain that the doctors had “expected” her memory to return.

The reasons someone’s subconscious “chooses” to wipe the slate clean and start over were all dramatically bad. If Jill’s mind had played that trick on her, the situation she’d told him about last night was much worse than he’d understood it to be. Damn! Holdin felt it like a hit to the torso. The new understanding of her desperate situation was shocking.

“Now if you don’t have any more questions, I’ll get back to the patient.” Robert looked at each of them. Drifter shook his head no and Coates focused on Holdin, raising an eyebrow in unspoken question.

“Not about the surgery,” Holdin agreed, “but I’d like some of your time later when you have a moment.”

Robert nodded. “We’ll chat.”

Holdin reached out to shake Robert’s hand. “Thank you.” Her life was the most important issue and this man had saved it. He’d given her back a future and Holdin would be grateful for that no matter what else occurred.

* * * * *

As soon as Jill was released from post-op and returned to her room, she asked for Drifter. He was the only one allowed in to see her, but when he came out he was all smiles. For him the waiting was over. His mother was still with him.

Holdin was relieved for his son. She was tired and wouldn’t be in any shape to speak with anyone else ‘til tomorrow but it was an incredibly good sign. However for him, the darkness of uncertainty was a roiling mass that would not settle. He needed her and there was no way to tell if she still needed him. When he had her in his arms, there was no question where she belonged. But like the last time, she’d had to go places he couldn’t go with her. That’s when she slipped away from him and he hated it. He hated not being able to take this from her, spare her in some way. It was illogical and physically impossible but that didn’t matter. He should have protected her.

Deep grooves marked Holdin’s face as he struggled to be happy for his son. Drifter’s world was secure and that was something to hold on to.

Shortly after Drifter came out, Holdin’s phone vibrated. He stepped away from the group to answer it. The only call he was expecting was from Moholand.