Into His Keeping (26 page)

“Yeah, what have you got?” Holdin was standing in the hall, away from the rooms on the second floor. It was a glass-enclosed walkway that was relatively quiet since it was separate from the patient activity.

“Good news, I hope,” Moholand responded. “The information comes from location and public records only. I assumed Capizzano was involved with the crew nearest his home location. I didn’t ask questions yet because you wanted it quiet. Soon as someone starts asking about something this old, word will get out. So far, your man appeared to be involved with some heavy hitters but the leader at the time was gunned down a few years ago in some sort of dispute. His second is now the main man. Your guy is barely a speck in the past.”

Holdin grunted in male acknowledgment and waited for the rest. There always was something else, especially when the news was good.

“Don’t know if this means anything, but the second was arrested twenty years ago for a murder. The charges were dismissed for lack of evidence. Right now he’s a guest of the federal government in another case that’s in trial. Murder again, very high profile. The jury is out right now. If it’s guilty, he’ll be going away, possibly with a due date on his soul. It’ll probably hold up in appeal if they get him convicted.”

“Damn, how long has the jury been out? What’s the feeling? Do they think it’s gonna stick?” Holdin wanted to know.

“They’ve been out two days and I can’t tell you how it’ll go. No one seems sure.”

“Let me know as soon as it breaks.”

“You’ll know when I do. It’ll be all over the news,” Moholand returned.

“No, I’ll probably have no idea. Surgery was today. It looks good but I’m not going to be free here for a while. Call me.”

“Fine, I’ll hold your hand. But I’m gonna bill ya for the effort.”

Holdin grinned. “Those aren’t bills you send me, they’re love notes.”

“Yeah, well, this time you get the full rate. Cuttin’ you a break seems to give you a foul mouth.”

“Just saying, I’d rather you felt it was worth your time. Doin’ me this favor might be dangerous.”

“Notice I figured out fast that I’d rather stick to public records? If I were you, I’d keep her face out of the media and the details on how you met sketchy. Make something up. You’re a popular guy, everyone will believe you were doin’ someone your first semester at college. Change the boy’s birthday so it matches that story. Mentioning the old girlfriend at all is a bad idea. A person being in the federal hotel doesn’t mean he can’t reach out. Don’t give him a reason to.”

“That your professional opinion?” Holdin asked. Moholand’s words of caution said much more than the facts had. He was worried.

“Yeah. No amount of security gizmos or bodyguards will make a shit of difference if you draw this person’s attention. These are the bastards who put the fear in professional.”

“Then why is he hung up with the government now?”

“Government got lucky, though I think they had some help from this guy’s real competition, the other pros.”

“Damn.” Holdin rubbed his forehead. “Okay, buddy. Thanks. Don’t do anything else for right now. Until I know for sure that’s who we’re lookin’ at, I don’t want you stickin’ your nose in.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve already deleted the search from my hard drive. Thinking of swapping it out and destroying the one I was using. I’m real happy to go eat donuts and look ignorant on this one.”

“Call me,” Holdin directed before he hung up.

Standing in the deserted hall, Holdin gazed out the glass front at the surrounding parking lot. Shit and damn! According to Moholand, no one could protect her if the past came back looking for her. Assuming her father had been just as bad as the boys he ran with, he was probably the only person who was capable and that bastard had died on her.

Realization hit Holdin hard. With her father dead, her only chance of life had been to disappear. So she had. It’d been bothering him that she’d never even hinted anything to him back when they were together. As close as they’d been, that hadn’t made sense.

He’d wondered about the nineteen hours before the crash too. She could have called him from a restroom. They’d have stopped once in a while. But she hadn’t called. Which meant she’d agreed with her father about leaving him cold. Made sense now. Ignorance was her only way of protecting him.

So if her memory loss was not medical, the only reason she’d allowed herself to remember was because Drifter needed a future. She’d been just as scared for her son and had little time to make arrangements. Which meant that now that the danger to her health was past, could she slip back into the safety of anonymity? Even if she didn’t want to?

No, she had to know that memory loss now would endanger Drifter by taking away her ability to protect him with knowledge. So now she would be even more afraid for her baby. Holdin had to reassure Jill that he had a plan to keep her detached from the young woman on the run she’d been before she came up with some plan on her own to distance herself from him and their past again. She’d already created a pattern of trying to bury his connection to the person she’d been. It was how she would try to protect both Drifter and him again. And most likely why she’d tried to keep him at arm’s length before the surgery.

The thing that gave him hope was her inability to stay away from him emotionally, even when she was fighting it. They’d made love at the ranch. Nothing about what they’d shared had been as simple as sex. She was his and both of them had known it.

Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed her, but in a sense he’d had no choice. Just as she’d not been able to deny what they were together. The relationship between them was not entirely physical but it was expressed that way between them. If he were better with the words, perhaps things would be different but he doubted it.

Holdin turned and strode back to her room. He had to get to her fast. Tell her about the new story they were going to use and reassure her that he’d be protecting both her and Drifter. There would be no running from him. This time they’d have a future together, he’d make sure of it. If this plan didn’t work, he had another one in mind. One he grimly hoped he wouldn’t have to use.

It was suppertime and Holdin asked his parents if they’d take Drifter out for a meal. He didn’t want them to know he needed a few minutes alone with Jill, even if she was groggy.

Drifter had been reluctant to go but Holdin promised to call if anything changed. He waited until they were out of sight before slipping in her room.

She was lying so still and apparently sleeping as he gazed down at her. Tubes went in her nose. There was a catheter, an IV ran into her arm and she was hooked up to what seemed like a ridiculous number of monitors. Once again the light was dim and shadows crept around the walls of the room. The summer sun was up in the early evening outside but here the drapes were drawn and night seemed a stalker slowly drawing nearer with eager intent.

His primitive core was crawling the walls in aggressive fervor at the knowledge that she was in danger. Even though he felt the threat was distant, it was difficult to tolerate the possibility. But that was nothing compared to the deep, piercing pain of knowing she’d sacrificed so much to protect him.

Turning her back on her past had been for her own protection as well but he’d bet the memory loss had been because she didn’t trust herself to remain anonymous. She knew the effort to keep away from him would become too great in a weak moment and she’d been unwilling to allow herself even the possibility of endangering him. He wasn’t flattering himself that she would miss the sex that much. It was her natural, submissive need for security that would do it. It would not have been possible for him to keep away from her if the positions had been reversed. He knew that for a fact.

Holdin pulled a chair up and took her free hand. “Jill?”

Her eyes opened but her face didn’t change as she regarded him silently. Holdin refused to let her lack of welcome bother him. She was trying to protect him again and he simply was not having it.

“Hi, Jilly-girl.” He smiled and lifted her hand to his lips for a second, needing the intimate contact. Even if it was only a kiss to her palm. “How’s my girl?”

“I have a hole in my head,” Jill informed him in a husky whisper. “Things could be better.”

“I know, baby. There is something that is better. Just listen to me for a minute. Can you manage that?”

“Sure. If I fall asleep, don’t take it personally. It’s the hole in the head. Things fall out.” Jill smiled faintly at her own joke.

“Hush and listen. You’re not supposed to be a smart-ass already.” Holdin kissed her hand again because he had to then got to the problem and his solution.

“I know why you had to stay away. Why it was so important that you protect both of us by not remembering us. Don’t get upset, I haven’t been digging around your past in a way anyone would notice. There’s good news though. The man who was the head of your father’s gang is dead. His second-in-command is currently in jail for a murder two years ago. They aren’t a threat.” Holdin studied her as he went on. “Even so, we’ll change the facts about when we met. All we have to do is move Drifter’s birth date a couple months. I can make sure anyone who knows different is silent. It’s not a problem this time.”

Holdin had absolutely no difficulty withholding some of the information from her. Jill needed to relax and concentrate on recovering. It was his job to worry about everything else. When they were younger, he might not have had the tools to protect her, that didn’t apply anymore. He was not going to lose her again, not to her efforts to protect him and certainly not to some fucking thug. Nor was he going to let said thug have one more minute of his life. That bastard had stolen the future from them once.

If the Feds couldn’t take care of business, he’d see that someone did. He knew that sounded as if he were willing to take out a hit on the man and he supposed basically that was exactly what he’d be doing.

He was perfectly willing to use the services of a little-known company out of Miami that was in the business of security. Holdin had met the owner some years ago. That man was the definition of scary bastard. Holdin had immediately recognized a cunning predator walking in the skin of a man, a familiar spirit.

The meeting had been a chance one, both at the same place for different reasons, but they had been comfortable with each other immediately. This was one dominant male who had no need to prove anything to the pro quarterback. Holdin had enjoyed the interaction as they were in the company of a mutual friend.

When they had parted ways, the tall Native American with ice gray eyes had shook his hand and nodded as he said quietly. “I’m in the business of making problems go away. Call me when it’s time.”

Holdin had been troubled as he watched the large man’s form disappear into an elevator. Now he had a feeling that those unsettling white-gray eyes saw things in ways it was best not to question.

Jill’s eyes drifted shut as if she couldn’t hold them open but her hand squeezed weakly in his. “That’s a flimsy cover story,” she stated in a near whisper.

“Sticking to the truth as closely as possible is the aim, darlin’. Total fabrication is impossible to support in the long term. We can say we met my first semester of college. You were waitressing in a local bar. It’d be very hard to track you. You didn’t have a close girlfriend in Connersville who’d be certain you’re the same girl. I don’t think there’s even one photo of you. You always managed to avoid them. I know because I’ve tried to find one.

“Fifteen years is long enough for people to think you sorta look like the Jill I dated, but they will not make the connection if there’s a whole set of logical facts leading them in a different direction.”

“People saw me and knew enough to call your mother. I’ve been recognized, Holdin.”

Her eyes were still closed and she hadn’t moved, but she was arguing with him about the truth and logically handling the facts. She knew exactly who he was.

Holdin struggled to keep the relief and subsequent euphoria out of his voice. She knew him. She remembered everything about them. There was no gap between past and present relationship. She had them in the right order.

The dark fear in his soul screamed as it dissipated. He’d been guarding it so closely, holding it away from everyone in ruthless determination that now the freedom of releasing it was painfully wrenching. Fierce, possessive impulses pounded up his body as the fear exited. He had to fist his free hand around a bar of the hospital bed’s protective side railing to keep from lunging over it and gathering her into his arms.