Interview With a Jewish Vampire (29 page)

I put my bag in the spare room, sat down on the bed and asked Sheldon, “What do we do now?”

“
Look through her drawers and closets, Rhoda. Maybe you’ll find something that will give us a clue.”

I went into her room and started rummaging through her stuff. I didn’t find anything strange until I got to her makeup. There was a black lipstick, black eye shadow and hair gel. Mom never wore black lipstick or black eye shadow or used hair gel. I went through her closet and noticed black clothing—a few long skirts with uneven hems, a black fitted jacket with lace at the ends of the sleeves, and a few ruffled black scarves. Mom never wore black. No one in Century Village ever wore black. It was considered a major fashion faux pas in a town where no one wanted to be reminded of funerals or death.

“
I have no idea what all this black stuff means, Sheldon. Do you?”

He shook his head and raised his eyebrows quizzically. “The only vampires I know who wear black are Hasids.”

“
Well I doubt Mom has become an Orthodox Jew all of a sudden. That would be more of a stretch than becoming a vampire,” I laughed, which broke the tension somewhat.

“
Try to get Miriam or Ellen again,” he told me. “I’ll try Tess.”

Ellen answered this time on the fourth ring. “Oh Rhoda, I’ve been meaning to call you,” she said in a falsely chirpy tone, as if I were a collection agency.

“
I tried calling you a few times, and Miriam and Tess. I haven’t gotten anywhere. No one returns my calls.” I was angry by this time. “Where is my mother? I can’t seem to get her on her cell phone. Why hasn’t anyone called me?”

“
We didn’t want to alarm you, Rhoda. We knew you’d get hysterical. We figured we’d find her before you noticed you hadn’t heard from her. But that didn’t work out did it?”

“
No, Sheldon felt she was in danger so we came down here. What the hell happened to her? How could you lose her? Is Miriam with her?”

“
They’re both gone and it’s my entire fault.” Ellen dropped the chirpiness and started crying, a piercing wail that was so loud I had to hold the phone away from my ear. She didn’t sound as if she could talk coherently on the phone so I suggested we come over and talk to her. I didn’t wait for her agreement, just put down the phone and had Sheldon fly us over there. It was only a short distance away but I was too impatient to walk and there was no one around in Century at night to see us, and even if they were around they probably wouldn’t look up. Old people get vertigo when they look up, Mom told me.

Ellen’s apartment was in Queensgate, another ersatz-sounding British name even though it was unlikely that one actual British person resided in any building in Century.

I was surprised when she opened the door. There was actually some disorder in her apartment. The last time I’d been there it was pristinely clean like all of mom’s friend’s places. This time the white rug looked like it could use a vacuuming, the couch pillows were in disarray and there were clothes hanging over some of the chairs. The only pristine area was the kitchen, which was visible from the front door. That wasn’t surprising considering it was a vampire’s least used room.

“
Rhoda, Rhoda, please come in. Sorry for the mess. I haven’t been myself lately. I don’t seem to care about neatness like I used to. I’m hardly ever home. When I am home, I’m sleeping—during the day of course.” She had stopped crying, but her face still had some red lines on it. I supposed it was true that vampires’ tears are bloody. Ick! When Sheldon sobbed it was tearlessly, thank goodness.

“
You want to know about your mom of course. I don’t know much but I’ll tell you what I do know.” Ellen herself looked pretty disheveled. Her usually helmet-like blonde hair was stringy and looked like she hadn’t washed it for a week, and her blue polyester pantsuit was as wrinkled as polyester gets.

“
Just tell me how this happened? What were you all doing in Miami anyway and how did she disappear there?”

“
Well, we were in the habit of going dancing in South Beach. You know there’s not much to do in Century at night and the clubs in South Beach are open pretty much all night.”

“
I can’t imagine any of you dancing to rock, or whatever kids listen to these days, or going into a club where everyone is under thirty,” I said. “How did you get in? How did you learn to dance?”

“
We glamoured the bouncers and from there it was pretty easy.”

“
You did what?”

“
Glamoured,” Ellen said as if I should know what she was talking about. “Sheldon explain it to her.”

“
Vampires can hypnotize humans into thinking whatever we want them to think. I don’t use that power because I think it’s unethical, but obviously Ellen here and her friends don’t feel the same way.”

“
Sheldon, don’t get all Hasidic high and mighty with me. I know you’re not exactly Mr. Clean Vampire,” Ellen retorted, obviously insulted. “Tess has told me some stories about you.”

“
Can we please stop bickering here. I need to find my mother. Where was she last seen?”

“
Tess and I left her and Miriam at Club Dread, a Jamaican place on Washington Avenue. They play reggae. Your mom loved it. She said it reminded her of the days when she and your dad danced Calypso to Harry Belafonte.”

“
How did you lose her?”

“
Tess and I went to another club that played salsa, which we like better. We were supposed to meet up with Fanny and Miriam after the clubs closed at 5 a.m. but they weren’t where we’d agreed to meet. We went back to Club Dread and looked for them but the bouncer said he hadn’t seen them leave.”

“
Maybe they glamoured him so he’d forget that he saw them.”

“
I have no idea.”

“
And where is Tess?”

“
She stayed in Miami with a friend. She’s still looking for them, but I spoke to her recently and she wasn’t having any luck.” Ellen sounded miserable. “I’ve lost my friends. All I have left is Judy and she doesn’t even believe I’m a vampire. I don’t talk to her anymore. ”

I was having a hard time feeling sorry for her since she’d lost my mother. I was not looking forward to playing Anita Blake, vampire hunter, in South Beach, but I supposed I would have to try.

Sheldon and I arrived at Club Dread the next night, when the club opened. We borrowed Mom’s car since she’d left an extra set of keys hanging by the door. I couldn’t understand why she hadn’t taken it—usually she was the designated driver when the girls went out, but I guess now they all could see in the dark.

Club Dread was on the main strip in South Beach, glittery Collins Avenue with all the Art Deco hotels and neon signs. It actually was in one of the hotels, a rather seedy one. The bouncer at the door, if that’s what he was, was a large Jamaican guy with, of course, dreadlocks, dressed in jeans and a tight white t-shirt that displayed his bulging muscles, obviously the result of some serious body-building. He had ear buds and was dancing to the music on his I-Pod, oblivious to us, and to the other patrons who were just strolling in The place could have burned down for all he’d have noticed.

“
It’s no wonder he didn’t notice Mom and Miriam coming or going,” I said.

“
I doubt they had to do a whole lot of glamouring to get in,” Sheldon added.

“
He’s probably just around in case there’s a fight.” I took his hand. “Let’s go in then. Maybe there’s someone in the club we can ask.”

The music inside was so loud I couldn’t imagine how we could ask anybody anything, but it was still early and the dance floor was almost deserted. The bartender was just lounging around waiting for customers. Sheldon whispered in my ear that he’d do the questioning because he’d be able to hear the answers. I gratefully agreed.

There were no barstools. Actually there didn’t seem to be any place to sit, just an enormous dance floor, a balcony with huge floodlights shining down, and a stage with sound equipment. I supposed the band would show up later. There were some perfunctory island-y looking decorations on the wall, but I doubt anyone ever looked at them.

Sheldon leaned over the bar and shouted in the bartender’s ear. I couldn’t hear a word he said or anything the bartender said back. I really had to have my hearing tested. I’d visited one too many of these clubs in my twenties and probably ruined my hearing.

Sheldon took my hand and led me back into the lobby, which was quieter.

“
He did see your mom and her friends come in a couple of times about two weeks ago—but he can’t remember which days.”

“
What did he say?”

“
He laughed about the three crazy old ladies on the dance floor…mon. He said there were a bunch of kids surrounding them and yelling something like, ‘You go girls.’ They wouldn’t have needed to glamour anyone to get in. He said they were really entertaining and kids kept coming back hoping they’d show up again.”

“
That’s not much help.”

“
No, it’s not.”

“
Let’s go to a café and have a drink. Or I’ll have a drink. We need to think of something else.”

We walked to the News Café, where we had sat last time. The place reminded me of Hedwig, whom we’d met there.

“
Hedwig!” I shouted. “She said if we ever needed anything to call her. Now is the time. But I don’t have that little pink card she gave us. Dammit. You don’t have it by any long stretch of the imagination, do you?”

“
No, I don’t, but I remember the number. We vampires have superior memories along with our other attributes. You know what those are, don’t you?”

“
This is no time for joking. I’ll take care of your attributes after we find Mom. What’s the number?”

Hedwig answered immediately. I’d noticed that half of the passersby on Ocean Avenue were talking on a cell phone, the other half were taking pictures with one. Miami was, like New York, a connected City. I told her the whole story.

“
No problem, you just wait there with your adorable vampire man and I’ll be by soon. Old ladies clubbing are not exactly the norm. They won’t be hard to find in this town. I’ll put the word out on the tranny network.”

“
Tranny network?”

“
Transvestite, transsexual and transgender, dahling.”

“
So how do you find things out?”

“
Ve haf our vays.”

I had to laugh despite my mood. “We’ll wait.”

For the first time since Mom disappeared I relaxed a little. Hedwig was so reassuring. I knew she’d come through, and sure enough when she showed up about an hour later she did have some solid information.

First she gave Sheldon a big smack on the lips, leaving a neat red lip outline that I wiped off with a tissue. She sat down gracefully, crossing her long, long muscular legs and adjusting her miniskirt.

“
I asked around and sure enough, they’ve been seen, at The Morgue, with a couple of Goth boys.”

“
Omigod, the morgue. What are you talking about? They’re not dead. Or they are dead, but you know…”

“
It’s a Goth nightclub.”

“
Pardon my ignorance, Hedwig,” Sheldon said, “but what is Goth?”

“
They’re misfit kids who wear all black and have a lot of tattoos and piercings and listen to punk music.”

“
I can’t imagine Mom hanging out with kids like that or listening to punk music. Reggae I can understand, she’s always liked ethnic culture, but punk, no way?”

“
Maybe they couldn’t resist. They would be heroes to the Goth kids who fantasize about being vampires. After all, who wears all black and is really dangerous—vampires of course. Goths adore vampires.”

“
But they’re little old ladies.”

“
Wouldn’t matter a bit to Goths. Actually it might make them even more glamorous—what could be more cool than a little old lady vampire? A totally new type of killer—someone no one would suspect.”

“
This keeps getting worse,” I said, feeling shaky, “Who were those boys, and what about the bodies?”

“
I know about the boys.” Hedwig raised her eyebrows. “But I haven’t heard anything about bodies.”

“
The vampire grapevine has heard tell of bodies turning up in Miami, with puncture wounds,” Sheldon said. “The victims were drug dealers, according to my sources. No one paid a lot of attention--it seems drug dealers turn up dead every day in this town.”

I asked Sheldon where he heard this and why he hadn’t told me. Somehow he’d managed to get in touch with Tess who gave him the scoop about the bodies. It seems vampires keep very close track of police blotters, noting any killings that might be vampire related. He hadn’t wanted to alarm me although he knew he’d have to eventually.

“
Geez, that is not good,” Hedwig said, crossing her arms, which I noticed were shaved. “These boys are a nasty bunch according to my friend Faye, who hangs in the Goth clubs. They sell heavy drugs and have rap sheets a mile long.”

“
Does anyone know exactly who these boys are? Do they have names? Where do they live?”

“
I didn’t get anything that specific, Rhoda. Sorry. We’ll have to stake out The Morgue to find them. Assuming they’re still going there.” Hedwig’s mouth turned down apologetically. Her eyebrows should have gone along but they didn’t. Maybe she’d been botoxed.