Inspired by Night: - a sexy new age romance (35 page)

I unlocked my office door and slipped into my room. I loved my office. The checkerboard floor, the prints on the wall. I sat down on the sofa and closed my eyes. I’d always loved coming here to work, but over the last few months it had become my favourite place to be and I knew that was partly down to Steven. The first few weeks had been difficult, so distracting but when Melissa came along and Chris was taking care of my sudden sexual urges, something more important developed between Steven and I. We grew to understand each other, trust and respect one another.

I was distracted from my thoughts by the phone ringing. I frowned,
we’re closed!
As I reached over to answer it the ringing stopped. The connection light was lit up under line number two. Someone had answered the call.
Someone else is here.
My heart started thumping and a prickle of discomfort ran up the back of my neck.
Steven.
It could only be Steven, no one else had a key to the main room. I crept over to the door and crouched down to peek through the keyhole. Sure enough there was Steven sat at his desk. His hair had that wilted look he had when he was anxious and worried; flopped lifelessly to one side covering half of his face. He hadn’t shaved and his face had a pretty impressive beard forming. It had never occurred to me that he might shave every day,
no wonder I didn’t recognise him on camera.
He was wearing his glasses too, I’d never seen him wearing glasses before, except on the webcam.
Well it worked for Superman I suppose.

I listened carefully to his conversation:

‘No we are closed for the holidays, but I wanted to get some work done.’ Steven was explaining to someone, ‘No not at all, she doesn’t know I’m here, I came of my own free will.’ He paused, listening to the caller, then his eyebrows shot up and his eyes narrowed before he frowned. ‘Wow, gosh – that’s, well, I’m really flattered, Celine.’

Celine O’Hara?
A rep from Ignition Games, one of the largest developers in the UK.

‘I’d have to give it some thought; I certainly haven’t had any desire to leave Inspired.’ He paused. ‘Wow, that’s a very generous offer. I don’t really know what to say.’

She’d offered him a job? I could feel panic rising. We had come so far in such a short time but that was all down to Steven, how would we manage without him?

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ he said suddenly, I could see him frowning. ‘Callum’s? Yes why?’ He paused again. ‘Boxing Night?’ He closed his eyes as the penny dropped. Someone had seen us together. But so what? ‘I go in most nights, Callum is my best friend and I often join him for a closing drink.’ He shrugged. ‘Drowning my sorrows? Wow, you’ve gone to great lengths to get something on me, I’m flattered.’ He laughed, then his face grew serious. ‘I suppose it could get awkward, you may be right, and it is a very generous package. I need time to think it over, though.’

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He was going to leave us. I felt sick and so confused, the thought of Steven leaving was horrible. It hadn’t even occurred to me that he might leave Inspired because of all this. He’d probably take all my clients too, I thought bitterly. I could feel tears threatening and I wanted to get as far away as possible. I gathered up my sketches as quickly as I could, trying to stuff them into my bag as I made my way to the door, I slipped out of the door and into the corridor and quietly pulled the door shut behind me.

‘Liv?’
Shit!
Steven was opening the door to the main office as I was turning the key in my lock. I didn’t know if he had heard me or if this was a coincidence. I didn’t really want to speak to him to find out. ‘Will you let me explain, please?’

‘So you can make some more stuff up? Tell me more things that I want to hear?’ I pulled the keys out of my door and popped them into my bag, straightening the strap on my shoulder as I walked away. He grabbed my arm and I stared at his hand at my elbow.

‘Are you ever going to speak to me again, Liv?’

I stared at his hand. I really didn’t have an answer for his question. Part of me pictured a time in the future when all this was behind us, but I couldn’t see the scenario where I forgave him. I shrugged, ‘Perhaps Celine O’Hara can cheer you up. When are you leaving us?’

His mouth fell open and he loosened his grip on my arm. I took my chance and hurried away.

Chapter Forty

‘So which is it then? You never want to see him again or you don’t want to lose him?’ Ruth asked, confused. She was waving a hot curling tong around like she was conducting an orchestra just inches from my ear. It was New Year’s Eve. I hated New Year’s Eve. But Ruth was insistent that I join her and Andrew at a local party being thrown by someone Andrew worked with. ‘It’ll be fun,’ she’d wheedled, ‘and it’s walking distance from home.’ I really wasn’t in the mood for a party.

‘Personally I don’t want to see him, but professionally, he’s had a significant impact on Inspired, if I lose him I lose my charming spokesperson who brings us all our work in.’

‘Not all your work, Olly, you were managing just fine on your own.’ She reminded me.

‘Yes but now I have six members of staff, I don’t bring in that much work alone to pay them all.’

‘But your output is significantly bigger than it was which means you’ll be more noticeable, customers will come looking for you.’ She shrugged, ‘and don’t forget that there are other charming men in the world, hire a schmoozy sales guy to go to all your conferences.’

The thought of sending someone else out in my name horrified me, especially if he didn’t know anything about programming. Steven was the perfect poster boy for Inspired, he could really sell us because he was passionate about our products and heavily involved in making them. A rare thing, someone who spent his days plugged in to a computer who could also engage effortlessly with the public. He was irreplaceable. I slumped in my seat and yelped as the section of hair being coiled around the curling tong left a dull ache in my scalp.

‘Keep still and stop slouching,’ she laughed, ‘so how do you reconcile these two major parts of your life?’

‘I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter anyway, he’ll go off to Ignition, I won’t have him distracting me in the office any more and in time I can just forget he ever existed.’

‘And what will you do about the gaping hole in your heart?’ I glanced up at her stern face in the mirror and shrugged. ‘You’re behaving as though he cheated on you or dumped you, Olly. But the way you described him in the office yesterday he looked miserable, he’s obviously hurting as much as you, worse probably because this is his fault, he had everything he wanted, he’s been pursuing you by any means necessary since he joined Inspired and finally he had you. And just like that it’s gone because you discovered the path he’d been taking to win you and you didn’t like it.’

I frowned. It was as though Ruth wanted me to forgive him. ‘Why are you suddenly on his side?’

‘I’m not, I just don’t want you to lose him out of stubbornness. You haven’t even given him a chance to explain yet. All I’m saying is that you’re acting like you lost him,
both of them
, but he’s right there, pining away because he wants you and you won’t speak to him.’

‘So why’s he running away to Ignition if he’s so innocent?’

‘You don’t know for sure that he’s leaving, you heard one side of a conversation. Maybe he’s thinking about it because he needs an escape plan if you won’t forgive him.’

‘Do you think I should forgive him?’

‘I think you have to remember that he’s a good-looking boy, and you know the pretty ones are stupid. You made it clear you’re really pissed off about it, now let him make it up to you and then go fuck his brains out and forget it ever happened.’ She smirked, ‘At least until his next trip away and you decide to get the webcam out for old times’ sake!’

I laughed then, ‘I couldn’t do it, when I saw him that one time, felt him looking at me, I felt so self-conscious. Knowing it’s Steven …’ I trailed off.

‘The guy you love? The guy you just spent a passionate Christmas night and Boxing Day with?’

‘Yes, knowing it’s Steven, I don’t think I could do that now. I think I enjoyed the naughtiness of it, the anonymity of this strange, almost non-existent man. I think Steven represented something more innocent, real, and pure. I can’t bear to think of Steven seeing me in that way.’

‘Why can’t he be both? You want your man to think you’re sexy, surely? As well as loving you and sharing your interests, he’s your best friend but also a hot-blooded male who looks at you and gets a raging hard on,’ she grinned, ‘when Andrew goes away, I want to know he’s thinking about me and not checking out anyone else while I’m out of sight. Make him want to go back to his hotel room to call you instead of propping up the bar and flirting with loose women.’

I was silent while I digested this suggestion, Ruth finished my hair and started rummaging through my wardrobe for something suitable for me to wear.

The party was in full swing when we arrived, lots of people were milling around, music was coming from one room, the noise of lots of people all talking at once was drifting in from another room. I just wanted to find a quiet corner to sit down and nurse a drink. Preferably near the buffet table.

I spotted the food in the kitchen and made a bee line towards it.

‘Hey, Olivia,’ I heard the surprise in his voice and turned around, I wasn’t expecting to see anyone I knew at this party. It was Callum.

‘Oh hey, what are you doing here? I’d have thought your place would be rammed tonight?’

‘It is, but we also agreed to cater this party so I volunteered to come here. I didn’t want to spend my New Year’s Eve working, this job will finish as soon as I pull this last piece of cling film off, and then I can help myself to a drink and go party!’ He grinned at me as the cling film peeled away from the tray of chicken signalling the end of his shift. ‘So, Olivia, I know it’s none of my business but what happened?’

I raised my eyebrows questioningly, ‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, he’s been drowning his sorrows the last three nights, you promised me romantic meals.’ He smiled kindly. ‘You don’t have to tell me of course, but you seemed so happy the other night.’

I frowned despite myself, I didn’t really like being asked about it, I certainly couldn’t tell Callum what had happened, I was relieved that he didn’t know though, at least Steven hadn’t told him what he’d done – or what I’d done.

‘You can tell when he’s happy because his hair is all big and hard but right now it’s all limp and floppy.’ He grinned, I laughed at his description and realised he was right. ‘I mean look at it,’ he continued, nodding his head. I felt my blood rushing to my head as I turned to follow his gaze, I could hear my heart pounding. There he was, through the clearing of people I spotted him, sat in the corner idly tearing the label off his bottle of beer. I was looking for a quiet corner and he’d beaten me to it. He had shaved and swapped his glasses for lenses but his hair was flopped over to one side, covering half his face, like the Phantom of the Opera. His white shirt was unbuttoned at the neck and untucked. His sleeves were rolled up revealing his strong arms. His jeans were scuffed around the edges. He looked strangely normal, but not like Steven. He’d forgotten to put his costume on. I felt my heart break,
am I the cause of his misery?
I fought against my desire to go and comfort him, surely he deserved to feel bad, he’d done a bad thing, he’d hurt me, tricked me. I looked at Callum sadly. ‘He told me that he’s the one who did wrong, so I can’t imagine how miserable you feel if you’re the one who’s been hurt.’

I reached for a couple of beers and nodding I made my way over to Steven. Between Ruth’s calm reasoning and Callum’s comments I was beginning to see this whole situation differently. I realised one thing for sure, I didn’t want to lose this man from my life. I loved him, even if I did want to smash his face in at the moment.

I flopped down on the sofa next to him. He didn’t look at me. I watched him for a little while but he didn’t seem to notice, he just stared into space and picked at the label on the bottle. ‘Here,’ I said holding out a bottle to him. He looked at the bottle and frowned, is eyes flicked up to my face and away again as he took the beer. Then he lifted his head as he realised who I was.

‘Liv?’

‘I got your messages,’ I said.

‘Can we talk about it?’ He asked, uncertainly.

‘You mean about the revelation that you’ve been lying to me all this time?’

He sighed.

‘You’re right, I have been lying to you, and I’m sorry. At first I just wanted to get to know you better, learn some things that might help me to woo you.’

I suppressed the urge to giggle at the word woo and waited for him to continue. He turned to face me, his knee moving up onto the sofa between us and his arm resting across the back of the sofa.

‘Then I wanted to help you, you had all these ridiculous insecurities and I saw them as barriers to you giving us a chance. So I used my conversations with you as Chris to try and help you.’

‘And the sex?’

‘Well in my defence, I never suggested you take your clothes off, I just told you what I would be doing if I’d been there with you, slow dancing.’ His eyes moved to my face again and registered the look of anger at his words. ‘It got out of hand, Liv, and I am sorry. But when Melissa came between us, I guess I was clinging on to the only way I could be with you. When I realised you were falling for Chris, I knew I had to end it, especially when the Melissa problem was resolved and there was nothing else standing in our way except for Chris. I was actually a bit jealous.’ He laughed slightly at the irony of being jealous of himself.

I was silent for a moment, replaying his words, the way he described it didn’t seem too bad. It wasn’t as though he had concocted some elaborate scheme to trick me – he’d just wanted to help. ‘I suppose this is where you tell me that you’re sorry and if you could go back and change it you would, that you wish you hadn’t done it?’ I asked scornfully. Steven frowned and shook his head.