Inevitable (5 page)

Surely this couldn’t all be on me?

I couldn’t have caused that.

‘I’d ask if you like what ya staring at… but there’s no need, as I can see you damn well do.’ The deep voice that I had missed so much reverberated over my sensitive, bare skin.

Nathan shifted his leather-clad body to lean against the doorframe and I felt his eyes sweep over my exposed body as he suddenly propelled himself forwards… towards me. My nails dug further into the handrail as I froze, awaiting his arrival. When finally, he stopped at the bottom of the steps, he inhaled deeply.

‘Your nipples are pointing at me… and your cunt is practically salivating… for me.’

He wasn’t wrong and we both knew it, I wanted him to touch me desperately…I wanted Nathan to connect with me… but the tall, dangerous, raw, unemotional man that stood so close to me now I hardly recognised, even if my unfaithful body did. I watched as he lifted his hand and traced my collarbone with his index finger, as though he wanted to feel me, but wouldn’t allow himself to. An involuntary groan left my slightly opened mouth. His hand dropped and fisted at his side.

Without even touching me, he turned and made his way back through the open French doors. As soon as I recovered, I quickly placed one foot in front of the other and started making my way back to my room… only pausing when I heard in the distance, a deep rumbling engine coming to life once again. In my hurry to get to the comfort and solitude of my room, I slipped and grazed my right shin down the sand-like edging of the step, ironic really, as it was supposed to help with grip. The pain was intense and I glanced down at my bleeding and stinging leg.

I fell face down on my bed and fought back the tears that threatened to fall. I tried to convince myself it was from my painful leg that I had just abraded, but I knew it was from seeing the man I loved, broken by my own hand.

What the hell had I done?

NATHAN

W
hat the fuck was I doing here?

‘Nate,’ I heard my brother, Scotty’s voice from behind me, as I stepped through the house on my way to the front door. Without even turning around I threw him a wave, just desperate to get to my Harley and out on the road, out on the road where I could place everything into perspective and control the feelings that were welling up inside of me.

Fucking feelings!

When I’d fought so hard not to feel.

I moved as fast as my gait would allow. My right leg had been badly injured last year in a race, that’s when Frankie and her best friend Bella had come into our lives. Frankie had been the physio that Alex had employed to get me back racing. Between her and the surgeon, they had done a fucking awesome job. My leg was almost perfect… almost. Most days you wouldn’t be able to tell the fucking accident had ever happened…most days. Like most goddamn days you wouldn’t know that the babe in the green bikini, that I had almost just fucking touched, had ripped out my heart with her bare hands and ground it deep into the soil, using the spike from her high heels.

Most days! But obviously today wasn’t most fucking days!

I swung my leg over the leather seat, finally feeling my hurt and anger start to disperse. I ran my hand through my hair, threw an Altoid into my mouth and replaced my lid, letting my body relax into the bike. I started the engine and the roar and vibration soothed me, and I let out an audible exhale. I took off out of the long gravel drive, dropping my bag there for when I had to return later. I needed to blast away the feelings she had conjured up inside me and the Harley was only really meant for cruising… but fast cruising would have to fucking do for now. The bag and its extra weight was definitely not required.

I didn’t know where I was going, I just followed the roads back to the highway, so I could let her rip.

Brock, my race team manager and my go to dude, was right and I knew it!

My addictions were getting out of control… My life had always led me to need adrenalin, I needed it like my next fix.

The team had started to say that I was taking too many risks, but it centred me. It gave me the strength to carry on… without her.

I relaxed into my bike and revved the throttle just a little more, feeling the tenseness fall off me in waves.

I knew I had to go back later, but a different fucking Nathan would return.

BELLA

T
he water felt refreshing in the shower and I stood under it for what seemed like forever. You could cry in the shower and no one could see… I could even fool myself that it wasn’t really happening. My shin was stinging like bloody crazy, thank God my bridesmaid dress was long and would cover up the red streak. I realised that Nathan wouldn’t be the only one at the wedding with a scar going from knee to ankle… how absurd.

That is if he came back. I had been standing in the shower listening out to hear the deep throaty roar return, but it hadn’t.

‘Bella?’ I heard the voice outside my bathroom accompanied by a light finger tap on the door.

For a split second my heart flew into my mouth at the tone in the voice. Absentmindedly my hand came up to cover my mouth. It couldn’t be?

‘Bella, it’s Scotty. Don't worry I’m not coming in… I just saw the back of Nate leaving and wondered if you were OK?’

My shoulders had instantly relaxed at the statement.

‘I’m fine, Scott. Thanks for asking, it was just a bit of a shock seeing him again, that’s all.’ I turned off the shower and made a grab for the deep blue towel that was hung nearest to me on the wall.

‘Do you have a robe in there with you? Can I wait for you in your room?’ He asked.

He was a really gentle, caring man and I had enjoyed getting to know him over the last few days. He had married their stepsister, Ruby and they were the very proud parents of a beautiful baby daughter, Eloise. He was an artist and a stay at home parent. Ruby was now the CEO of Blackmore Industries. Scott wasn’t without his problems, having battled depression for many years, but he seemed to be on the up at the moment and that was quite simply amazing. His illness seemed to have given him an extra sensory perception, when it came to recognising pain in others.

The only thing I was struggling to deal with was the fact he and Nathan were identical twins, facing him daily had been more than difficult. He in turn, recognised that and had almost broken me in gently, appearing in my daily routine slowly at first and then with increased vigour. They couldn’t have been more different, yet more the same if they tried.

They were the same few inches over 6ft to start with. Scott’s hair was the same colour but when loose, it came down to the middle of his back, and he sported a small goatee beard… classic creative person garb. He also hadn’t a tattoo on his body. Reflecting on this turned my thoughts back to Nathan again and I wondered why the hell he was sporting a much more severe haircut. It was their eyes though that struck the biggest contrast, Nathan’s a bright hazel or at least they used to be, whereas Scott had one hazel eye and the other was a deep green like Alex’s.

‘Bella, is that OK?’

‘Sorry, Scott… I was just thinking and yeah sure that’ll be fine. I’ll be out in a minute.’

I rubbed myself down quickly, avoiding my painful shin where I just dabbed pathetically. With as much haste as I could muster, my hairbrush flew through my long thick hair and I ran my fingers through it afterwards, shaking it out as I went. I wasn’t going to dry it today; I would just leave it to dry naturally. I placed my arms into my dressing gown, wrapped it tightly around me and taking a deep breath I entered my bedroom, to find a smiling Scott sitting on my floor cross-legged, like he was meditating. He looked up at me.

‘He hasn’t returned yet… I know that was going to be your first question. But don't worry he will. He wouldn’t miss Al’s wedding, that’s for sure… whether he knows it or not though, the magnet pulling him back most strongly, will be the pull of you being here.’ I didn't think Scott had ever spoken so many words to me in one go before.

‘I’m not so sure… he’s changed. Frankie was right, it’s not just the physical changes but mentally he seems harder, more closed off.’ I plonked myself down on the large metal framed bed, clasping my dressing gown over my exposed limbs, sighing with the awareness of it all.

Just then our little chat was broken by the booming voice of Alex, having quite obviously returned from the airport with Frankie, Aunty Jean and Uncle Robert. I needed an aunty hug that was for sure. Scott and I made our way out of my room and down the nearest set of stairs. They were a sight for sore eyes and holding my dressing gown tighter to me I practically flew across the foyer, to where they stood in amongst their cases. I leapt into Aunty Jean’s arms and held on tight. She wasn’t my aunt of course, but Frankie’s, but I had known her since I was eleven and she was as good as.

‘Bella, how lovely… what a welcome, we can’t believe we’re here, in such a beautiful place too. I seriously need you girls to show me around, please.’ Aunty Jean placed her hands through mine and Frankie’s arms and started to lead us back up the stairs, not having a clue where she was going, but obviously wanting a girly chat.

‘On our way up these stairs you can tell me how on earth you hurt your leg, Bella, and what on earth you were running away from in the first place,’ she stated. Instinctively I glanced down as the three of us stopped on the landing and Frankie bent over the best she could, to move my dressing gown out of the way of my throbbing monstrosity of a shin.

‘I’m fine… really! I just scraped it running up the balcony stairs.’

They casually glanced at each other with a knowing look. ‘Mmm hmm… pull the other one it’s got bells on,’ said Aunty Jean. ‘I suppose it’s got something to do with the fact Alex had to stop on the driveway and pick up what he said was “Nathan’s bag” …? Funny how you were running in one direction and he seemed to be speeding off in another?’

I looked at Frankie and offered her my “how the fuck did she know?” look. She in turn shook her head slightly and shrugged her shoulders.

‘So what we really need, my girls, is a bedroom where we can’t be disturbed and a big pot of tea, they do have big pots of tea here don’t they, my love?’ The question was directed at Frankie.

‘They do now, aunty… since I moved in. I’ll get one sorted out for us,’ Frankie replied and moved away and back down the stairs.

‘We’ll be in Bella’s room, my love… lead the way, my dear… I don’t have ESP,’ she smiled sweetly at me.

Really, I thought, you could have bloody fooled me.

Thankfully, after our chat I did feel better. I told them what had happened and we discussed the change in Nathan, they helped to alleviate some of the guilt I felt. We then managed to get on with discussing Frankie’s wedding. Everything, it seemed, was in hand. The blue forget-me-not flowers were her one real splurge, as they had been imported from England. Alex had been insistent that as she didn’t really want much, she would at least have everything she really wanted, and those flowers were a must for her bouquet, which was being made at the moment and then would be held in a chiller ready for their wedding. It was all coming together nicely and I was so happy for them.