Inevitable (4 page)

I had been born into a loving family. I was the middle child of three and my mum was lucky enough to be able to stay at home to take care of us, and it was enough for her to do so. My fantastic dad was the local doctor, so we were comfortably off and he provided everything we needed. That was the attraction I supposed, I came from a well thought of family and it gave him and his father a step up in society. Just what their maffie (mafia) family from Eastern Europe wanted.

‘The editor asked for my take on the on-going problem in the UK at the moment… I decided it was time to try and confront my past, so I told the editor my story and she jumped at the opportunity to send me back, for me to obtain a story for them… and I grabbed it, in order to try to finally move on and get my life back.’ Pregnancy hormones had definitely consumed Frankie and taken a hold of her, as she was openly sobbing as she listened.

‘Sorry, gorgeous, I didn’t want to upset you.’ I turned over onto my side to give her a squeeze.

‘You really fell in love with him didn’t you, Bella? It was Nathan that made you want to change, wasn’t it?’ she gently questioned.

‘I just felt I wasn’t enough for him, Frankie… he deserved more than a dried up husk… he deserved the full package, and I haven’t been the full package for many years…but yeah you’re right, it didn’t matter until I met him and to answer your next question, I still love him.’

‘And now? Are you whole again now that you have confronted…’ she paused.

‘It’s OK you can say his name… the bastard formally known as IT is behind bars where he belongs, with most of the male members of his family… Ioan Antonescu no longer deserves the IT title… he is nothing to me. I had to go back, Frankie, I had to do what I should have done nearly ten years ago. I caught a glimpse with Nathan of what my life could be, but in order to move on, I had to confront my past. I needed to know that the people I care about would be safe from the Antonescus.’

Frankie sat up and looked down at me, ‘I’m pleased you’re home here with us, Bella, I was worried about you… I know how dangerous his family is. I told Alex some of the story…obviously not all,’ she met my eyes, ‘I just needed to know you were safe, I remember how far their reach extends.’

Frankie’s eyes bored into mine, ‘Now what do we do about you and Nathan, he will arrive sometime this week, I’m not sure when exactly. I don’t think Alex even knows… As I said before we don't see him too often, probably because we remind him of you.’

‘He once said, Frankie, that a part of him would always love me… but just not to leave it too late before I came back… I’ve wondered all this time, how late is too late?’

‘I don’t know, but I do know he’s changed… you will see it when he does put in an appearance. You will see a change in him physically and mentally. I hope for both of your sakes you can put each other back together, even if it’s piece by broken piece,’ she nodded convincingly at me. ‘Come on my master will be waiting, impatiently probably,’ she grinned, as I stood up and tidied their bed.

‘Master, eh? You sly thing, you,’ I managed to tease, before laughing again at her shocked expression. ‘Come on let’s go before you get a shag flashback of the two of you on your master’s bed.’

‘It was a figure of speech, BELLA,’ she smacked my arm to reiterate her point.

‘Yeah, yeah, me thinks the lady doth protest too much.’ I ran away from her and out of their bedroom door. It was good to be back.

The beach was a definite positive of living in what had to be a multi-million-dollar dream house. Every day at some point, in between the very minimal wedding preparations, I would find myself there in some way or another. Sometimes in my bikini, laid out on the warm sand watching the tall grasses blowing in the breeze whilst I sunbathed, other times simply chatting to Frankie as we walked. It was both healing and relaxing.

We were two days away from the wedding, when I finally heard the noise I had been hoping for, but also absolutely dreading. As luck would have it, I had no music playing that afternoon, otherwise I would have been totally unaware of his arrival… but then again maybe not, as I felt his proximity deep down in every cell of my body. It was the vibration of the motorbike I felt first, deep within me, as I lay face down on the comforting warmth of the sand, on the small private beach owned by the Blackmores. The very place Frankie and Alex would get married in a couple of days’ time.

Although I had never heard a Harley before, or at least had no recollection of it if I had, I knew that was the sound I was hearing now and without a doubt it would be Nathan astride the beast of a machine. It had a particular deep, throaty roar that was somehow almost… erotic.

That was probably because I knew who was riding it?

Listening to the sound, of what could only be Nathan arriving on his bike, took me back to one of our happier times together. Last November we had spent Thanksgiving weekend in a beautiful cabin in the Catskills, with only Alex and Frankie for company. The whole weekend away had been a complete revelation for me, it was when I had first realised that Nathan was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We had started as fuck buddies, an arrangement that had suited us both, but I quickly came to see that my best days were when I had been with him. Whether it was waking up in his bed, with him wrapped around me like I was the most precious thing on earth, and it had been so long since I had felt like that, or just being in his company, because he made me feel warm and needed. His sense of humour and playfulness were catching and were a breath of fresh air in my anally planned existence, an existence I had created to ward away the bad memories in my life, an existence that allowed me the control. Control was not something I relinquished easily. Nathan had quickly shown me that allowing him control made me more relaxed and more like the Bella I used to be. This had frightened the hell out of me and mesmerised me at the same time. We had been playing truth or dare when his Harley Davidson had first been mentioned.

We had sat down together on the floor surrounded by copious amounts of comfy pillows and blankets, and we had definitely downed more than a few shots and beers together. The mood was relaxed as we played truth or dare. Yes, I was a bit pissed when I asked that final question to Alex, “What’s the most effective piece of equipment you have used, in your role as a dominant lover?”

When Alex had answered, I directed the same question at Nathan stating that I already knew some of the answers. “Well, darlin…yeah you do, but the best piece of equipment I like to use is my Harley Davidson.” I fell into the cheeky smile on his face and the sparkle in his eyes, I had bent down to kiss and nip playfully at his ear. He was laid out on the floor resting his bad leg on a cushion, he pulled me down to him and we spent the most emotionally charged night of my life in front of the huge log burner, making love over and over again. He knew my body inside and out, in more ways than one, and he could read my every moan, gasp and whimper. This was no longer fuck buddies, we were so, so much more. I wanted to say the words to him, several times I had to forcibly bite down on my bottom lip to stop the words spilling out, the words that swirled around my mouth over and over as he showed me with every breath he took, just how much I meant to him. Our night together was more than I ever dreamt it would be. We slept there that night, as if we were both too scared to break the spell that had wrapped itself around us.

I broke into my thoughts.

What a dilemma to be in?

I glanced down briefly at myself after pushing my body slightly up and away from the sand. Of course, I had two bikinis with me and typically, today I was wearing the skimpiest one, an emerald jewelled thing that basically consisted of three triangles, tied together in four places. It was barely decent, but as Alex and Frankie had gone to the airport to pick up her aunt and uncle, I’d thought I had a bit more privacy.

So do I get up now and make a bolt for my room? Or hide out here?

Knowing I wasn’t swimming today, all I had with me was a see-through white sarong, my iPhone and earbuds.

‘Great decision, Bella… one of your best,’ I muttered out loud.

So to do a runner from here, or not?

I decided to go with the first, and picking up the few items around me, I stood up from the cover of the clump of long grass I had been laying down behind. With my belongings clasped closely to my chest I began to quickly head back towards the patio and swimming pool, and the safety of the steps leading up to my balcony and room, in Frankie and Alex’s wing. My heart was beating so fast in my chest at the thought of being caught, ridiculous really but I didn't want to face Nathan like this, I wanted to be immaculate, with my makeup on and properly dressed, call it my shield, my protective layer.

Whatever you called it, I wanted it all in place before we faced each other for the first time since I had fled his apartment back in NYC.

I realised, suddenly starting to panic, that the loud vibrating noise had just stopped over on the other side of the house, and that could only mean one thing. The engine had been turned off and he was now off his bike and probably entering the front of his family home. I started to move even faster.

‘Shit…shit,’ I exclaimed out loud, as my bare feet suddenly came into contact with the extremely hot patio for the first time. The heat radiating from the stone into the balls of my feet, made me move quickly from one foot to the other, so fast that my knees almost came up to my chest. I must have looked even more ridiculous than I felt, like I was dancing, as I tried so hard not to have any contact with the stone that wasn’t absolutely necessary.

‘Ouch…ouch!’ I exclaimed with every step.

The sense of relief I felt when I grasped the wooden handle for the first time was overwhelming, relief for my poor feet and relief at having made it there safely without being caught. I let out a deep breath.

‘Running seems to be a goddamn habit of yours, Bella,’ a deep, rough voice stated.

My nails gripped the handrail as my feet froze in place and my head spun around so quickly I almost cricked my neck. I looked towards the broad expanse of French doors and I could just make out the shadow of a tall man behind the blowing nets. Slowly a large, very obviously male hand pulled the net curtain away to reveal himself… he didn’t need to, I knew it was him. Only Nathan made my whole being feel like it was standing on the edge of a huge precipice, but equally like I was right where I belonged.

As the wispy fabric was slowly drawn away my eyes took him in, from the feet upwards, heavy black biker boots, old dirty, ripped blue jeans and a battered looking black leather jacket that was pushed slightly up his forearms, exposing his leather wrist cuffs, heavily tattooed forearms and new silver heavy cuffs and chain. My eyes eventually made it to his face and I could see with remorse the young carefree man I had once known was no longer there. The mask he had slipped on previously was still in place.

How could six months make such a difference?

Gone was the shoulder-length, dirty-blond hair that I had so loved to pull on as we made love. It had been shaved up the back and sides, only leaving the top with any length and it was mussed up after he had probably, knowing him, run his hands through it after removing his bike helmet, which was now clasped in his left hand. His face somehow looked older and more worn, under the layer of stubble. I couldn’t yet meet his eyes, so I stupidly stared at his exposed neck instead, concentrating rather too long on his Adam’s apple as it moved up and down, stirring up longings within me that I would rather he didn’t see, but in my skimpy bikini I knew my body was screaming it out loud. My gaze lifted slightly to see him run his tongue unconsciously over his teeth and lips. I knew just what that bloody mouth could do, in speech and in action. The whole of my body was covered in goose bumps, even though the day was hot, just from that one simple involuntary movement.

I fought to move my gaze once again. Nathan had always had a lot of tattoos on his torso and down his arms, but I could see new ones peeking out of the top of an old tatty-edged white T-shirt, climbing up various parts of his neck. I summoned up the courage to lift my gaze and our eyes met. I almost gasped out loud, the beautiful, playful and carefree hazel eyes were so much darker than I remembered. It was as if the light had gone from his soul and had left behind only a wounded and damaged human being.