Inevitable (2 page)

I wasn't proud, that was for certain. I just needed to keep reminding myself this was for the best, in the long run. I was doing it with the best of intentions.

‘I’d ask you how you are, but I can see,’ he offered.

I watched in the reflection as he shoved his hands deep inside his jeans pockets. I knew it would push them down slightly and his white t-shirt would lift, baring the skin I so loved to touch. I wasn't going to look there, I just couldn’t.

‘Come on then, let’s get it goddamn over with, Bella… I can see right through you. I know what the fuck is coming next,’ he nodded slightly.

I wasn’t sure, as I was still staring at his reflection in the glass and not the man himself, but I thought I saw his face change with that statement and his expression altered to something I hadn't witnessed before. It was as if he had slipped a mask on over his head, and pulled the elastic tightly to mould to his skin.

‘We can’t be together, you and I… I don't love you… We agreed when all this started, it was just to give in to the lust we had for each other… it was never supposed to become bloody serious.’ The words tripped over each other in their haste to come out of my mouth.

Talking only to Nathan’s reflection in the window was the coward’s way out. I knew it and so did he.

‘I won’t fucking believe anything you say, unless you turn around and at least have the fucking decency. TO. SAY. IT. TO. MY. FACE.’

I heard the words but hesitated, once I turned he would be able to see the real me, not the false act I was trying to portray. Holding my breath, I wiped the few silent tears off my cheeks and I spun around, slowly lifting my eyes to his. As our eyes finally connected, I shuddered with the contact. I realised for the first time that he had always been able to see the real me, so what I needed to say was going to hurt us even more than I had first thought.

‘I’m sorry… I just don’t think of you like that. We’re like ships passing in the night. I didn’t ask for you to fall in love with me,’ I started my multitude of lies. A silence filled the large room, both of us reluctant to break our connection with any more words, until finally he spoke.

‘So at what fucking goddamn point are you going to tell me the truth, huh?’ The volume of his voice had started to rise again.

I watched as he ran his left hand through his unruly dirty-blond hair, and then crossed his arms in front of his chest. The feeling of panic was bubbling up inside me again. Standing by the window was beginning to feel like an extremely bad idea, positioning myself next to something so cold and exposed was making all my senses latch on to the tall figure in front of me, I could feel the heat radiating off him in his controlled anger.

‘I don’t have anything more to say… only I’m sorry it’s come to this.’

‘You’re sorry, huh?’

I nodded at him, trying to convince him of the declaration I had just made.

‘The one thing I can’t cope with, Bella is not being told the truth… I KNOW you’re lying… I KNOW you love me, even if you won’t FUCKING admit it to yourself.’ His face came closer and closer to mine, until I could taste his minty breath just by licking my lips. ‘When all is said and done, I won’t fucking fight for someone who is too chicken shit to fight for me… for us… I won’t have… any more fucking lies in my life.’

He uncrossed his arms suddenly. The movement caused my eyes to leave his and to focus on his muscular, tattooed forearms. I watched as he held his clenched fist over the top of his heart, it was clenched so tightly it made his wrist bulge against the antique leather wrist cuffs that he always wore. It was like he was singing the national anthem in anger. He hit his chest as he started to speak again.

‘Know this, Bella, I know that part of me will always love you and the moment you can tell me the truth about what’s going on in your life and open up to me, I will be there for you. Just… don’t leave it too fucking late, darlin.’ He reached out to me as he traced along my collarbone with his index finger. I trembled with the emotion I felt, in the gentlest of touches. It was so hard trying to control the fact that I wanted so desperately to be in his arms.

Breaking away quickly, I fled the small space I had been standing in and the apartment. Not able to stomach watching him in pain anymore, pain that I had caused him. Knowing that if I stayed, we would end up back in his bed. I quickly found myself next-door and in my bedroom. I threw myself down onto the floor, gripped the carpet with both hands and I screamed, like a wild animal in pain.

Finally, I felt Frankie fall to her knees beside me, she held me in her arms cradling me, rocking me, trying so hard to comfort me.

The only thought in my head was,
“how late is too late?”

BELLA

PRESENT DAY

T
he feelings of relief and excitement rushed over me as I stood waiting by the luggage carousel. I was watching the pieces of luggage go around and around almost to the point of being mesmerised, and I studied the expressions of the happy people either arriving on holiday, or back home, their joviality was catching.

It was great to finally allow myself to feel again, happiness and excitement surged through me. I had spent too long living with only the feelings of hate and anger coursing through my blood stream. Taking a big cleansing breath of American air and closing my eyes, I relaxed, as much as was possible.

I was back!

In my head, I was punching my fist into the air.

Truth be told my heart hadn’t left this country, even though my body had fled to the UK six months previously.

It would be so good to see Frankie. Just thinking about my bestie put a smile firmly on my face, and a feeling of contentment washed over me. The excitement was building for her wedding in a week’s time to Alex Blackmore. He was so good for her, she deserved a man like him, not many people find their sort of love. That man was besotted with her and would move heaven and earth to make sure she was happy. After all she had been through she deserved all the happiness he could give her, and I was his biggest cheerleader.

My timing couldn’t have been better. Frankie had held off as long as Alex would let her, as it had been touch and go whether I was going to make it back in time for the wedding. My investigations had come to a climax and my evidence had been turned in to the police. My part was over and done with, well at least for now.

Just then, I spotted the orange strap on my black case. I moved myself into the right spot, and hauled it off the conveyer belt and onto the trolley. Moving the trolley as quickly as I could around the swarm of people, I headed towards the exit, just making a very quick pit stop at the ladies’.

I didn’t need to go, but just wanted to check how I looked. I glanced up and down quickly in the full-length mirror. I knew to expect heat at this time of year, so after running a brush through my thick mane of hair, I swept it up into a messy bun. My makeup was fairly natural and needed no tweaking, luckily. I smoothed my hands over my navy and white striped T-shirt and navy Capri pants, trying absentmindedly to brush away the creases.

I hadn't flown into East Hampton airport before, and the layout was completely new to me. A phone call just a couple of days ago from Frankie had told me to expect Edwards, one of their drivers and part of their security team and I was even looking forward to seeing him. My family was back in the UK, but America was where I felt most comfortable and I was looking forward to moving on with my life. I only had a couple of concerns, and one of them was the very sexy brother of the groom, Nathan Blackmore. I knew I wasn’t here just for the wedding. I wondered if I could convince him that it wasn’t too late for us?

The sun was hot and bright as I walked out of the terminal building. Having been in Europe for a few months my eyes were no longer used to such intensity, but as my sunglasses were sitting fashionably on top of my head, all it took was a quick flick of my wrist to have them in place and shielding my eyes.

My ballet pumps made barely any noise at all as I dragged my huge, luckily wheeled, suitcase behind me. I had never been able to bring a minimal amount of clothing, no I was one of those girls that packed everything, including the kitchen sink, just in case. I glanced around at the awaiting vehicles, but my survey was broken by the shout of my name.

‘Bella… over here,’ came the deep voice I instantly recognised, but didn’t expect.

My eyes fell onto the extremely tall and broad figure of a man leaning against a Range Rover. I smiled and waved back quickly, watching as he peeled his lithe body away from the vehicle and strode over to me. One hand running through his black hair and the other pushed slightly into the waistband of his shorts.

What was it about these Blackmore men?

I took him in as he came closer to me and I watched, as did all the other women, as he walked past them without him even giving them a sideward glance. Alex was dressed casually in grey cargo shorts and a white fitted polo, which was undone at the neck, the collar was untidy in a ridiculously sexy way, and the cuffs of the T-shirt gripped tightly around the well-defined muscles on his arms. The casual relaxed image topped off by the leather sliders on his feet.

‘Bella, it’s fantastic to see you,’ Alex swept me up into a brief hug and then set me back down on my feet. ‘My wife-to-be is so looking forward to your arrival… and I’m pleased to see you’re in one piece… we’ve been worried.’ He winked at me after pulling slightly away, and gave me one of his trademark smiles. He was brimming with pride at the statement he had just made about Frankie.

‘I’m pleased to be back… you’ll never know just how pleased… I was expecting Edwards, not that it’s not good to see you.’ I glanced up at Alex and offered him a quick smile as he put my hand through the bend in his free arm and began to move us through the throng of people on the way back to his luxury vehicle.

‘I came because I thought we could talk… I wanted to catch up with you and see what’s been going on.’ He opened the passenger side door and I hopped up, waiting with trepidation for the conversation to start. Finally, the boot slammed shut. Alex made his way around to the driver’s side and jumped expertly in.

With my body relaxed into the extremely comfortable seat, I watched as he moved the vehicle through the traffic and out onto the main road. One of Alex’s fingers lightly tapped the leather wheel as we waited for our turn to move forward, the other arm was out of the window and his fingertips held on to the roof of the car. He was no longer a CEO, but the man exuded power and control. It was so good to feel safe.

‘You are always welcome here, Bella, but I need to know for my family’s sake… is trouble following you?’ I felt his stare hit the side of my face.

‘Really? Do you honestly think I would bring trouble to you guys? Do you think that badly of me? … I have always looked out for Frankie, I certainly wouldn’t bring it to her bloody doorstep, now would I?’ I turned to look him in the eye, just so he could see how upset I was at the question he had just asked me. His deep green eyes fleetingly met mine and then went back to the road ahead.

‘I know you needed to get away from the UK… that much Edwards had made me aware of… we have about thirty minutes to kill, so why don’t you let me know what the hell has been going on…?’ I knew enough about Alex, to know it wasn’t a question but more of a polite demand. ‘You know how I feel about protecting my family, don’t you, Bella? … I would kill to protect any one of them and that also includes you, sassy,’ he moved his hand and grabbed mine to give it a quick squeeze. I felt a surge of relief at his declaration to protect me, but inwardly I baulked at his use of a nickname first created by his brother.

We spent the next half hour chatting about my undercover reporter’s assignment back in the UK. I was happy telling him what he needed to know, in order for him to know that his family weren’t in danger, but I couldn’t tell him the truth about me… I was too ashamed.

BELLA

O
nce we get to the end of this country road and come around the bend, you’ll be able to see the house,’ stated Alex.