In any ordinary life (In any oridnary Book 1) (30 page)

“Give me anything Mike please. Come on” Smiling he dragged everyone to the front of the jeep. “I got through we are about seven miles off that ridge there,” pointing to the map everyone focused intently as hope began to rise. “If we can keep going we can make it by dawn.”

   Huddled in the front seat she placed her feet on the dashboard and as she held her head in her hands she needed to know that she had made the right decision. The last few months, had left them desolate and the reliance upon her to get them back to camp safe had been the only plan she could stick to. More than ever she felt alone

“I’m sure he will be fine Sarge. You made a decision so far so good.” “We aren’t there yet. Don’t count them to soon.” looking back at Merle Jeanie feared the worst and as the blood started drip out of the back of the jeep no matter how much pressure they put on the wound it never seemed to be enough. Within the first three months they had lost twenty two men but loosing one especially one who you had become close too filled her with dread.

   A blistering red sky met them as they continued towards base and Jeanie dreaded the repercussions. Seeing the solemn faces in the rear of the jeep she scoped the horizon for a glimmer of hope.

“There’s someone on the ridge look. Stop the car...” Jeanie stepped out of the vehicle and held up her hands, friendly or not she wasn’t going to risk any more casualties. “Private Jack Rutherford. We need help.”

“On your knee’s soldier” Doing as she was told Jeanie placed her hands on the back of her head. “We need help Sarge I’ve got one injured.”

“Out of the vehicle now.” Jeanie still on her knees screamed back feeling the fear cross between the patrols.

“Friendlies sir we’re friendlies” seeing the blood on Jeanie the two men looked at each other. “Someone hurt in there.”

“That’s what I said before…we need help he’s lost a lot of blood and he needs a medic.”

   Scrambling back to the jeep they followed the guards down to the main base. Bill and Pete dragged Merle’s lifeless body from the rear and as the stretcher scrambled around Jeanie closed her eyes waiting for the screams. The fuss just seemed to buzz past and the haziness around her swallowed her thoughts.

   Walking through the camp there was too much noise and as she looked at her blood stained uniform she tried to wipe the dried patches clean without much success.

She was lost.

   “Excuse me do we have anywhere I could get this off,”

“Yeah there’s a pool bout half a mile down you ok.” Jeanie just smiled and patted his shoulder. She wanted to cry, she wanted to laugh she wanted to scream, but knowing she couldn’t do any of it was driving her insane.

  Reaching the brook she found a large tree that stretched out leading to a small pool which lapped the shore. Jeanie took off her clothes and as she sat at the edge the water soft waves started to take the stains away and the dark ripples caressed her feet.

   Jeanie lay with her head on her knees wondering when the nightmare was going to end. She felt that she had forgotten how to cry and as she looked into the dark water Jeanie tried to find clarity, she had no option and falling apart now wasn’t going to take her home.

   The war had only given her pain, suffering and misery but it had also given her the capability to survive and fight if she needed to. Watching the pool she willed her tears to fall instead she saw a flicker of a reflection. Feeling eye’s burning into her she grabbed her clothes and pulled out her gun. From a distance it looked as if she was getting dressed but in reality Jeanie had started to watch and wait. She was now a fully fledged hunter with instincts to match and as the crack of a twig echoed in the distance she knew her survival senses were working.

   Reapplying the blood stained bandages and bindings hastily she knew the first thing she had to hide was her identity and quickly. Luring her culprit into plain sight she waited patiently until she felt the presence behind her. Counting to ten she stood up and pointed the gun behind the tree.

   “Out! Move now or I’ll shoot,”

“Put your gun down it’s only me.” Jeanie lowered but did not let go feeling uneasy about his presence.

“Kowalski I have told you before about sneaking around,”

“You know you shouldn’t be out here on your own, it’s not safe” Mike circled her with his eyes piercing her dressings.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you Mike but you’re starting to scare me”

“I didn’t mean to I just admire you Jeanie your not like the others. It just makes me think why you where made so differently than the rest?”

“The rest of who?” Mike knew his comments would cause a reaction as her inquisitive nature had always worked to his advantage

“Women I’ve had my fair share even an officers lady. But you I just don’t get you.”

“Mike you know why I’m here…I’m here for James. We’ve had this conversation please don’t make this difficult.”

“What if I said I loved you? What would you say then?” Jeanie taking small steps didn’t turn back to respond.

“I would have to say you’re delusional and to get over yourself quickly!”  

    Hearing him close behind she hurried trying to return to a form of civilisation. Side stepping behind a medical tent she tried to get her bearings.

   The awkwardness between her and Mike increased with each passing month. Every time he would snipe and jibe for her to react to anything he would do and Jeanie had made excuses for him. When she had tried to talk it out her would always come up with the same conclusions:

“
Everyone has a plan Jeanie don’t you know that! For some of us it’s already written when we are going to live, when we are going to love and when we are going to die. Why should you be any different?”

   Trying to avoid any conversation surrounding James had become a daily occurrence and rumours about their relationship had circulated between the close nit quarters of the men.

   Taking a few seconds before moving out into the crowds she stirred her thoughts wondering where he could be. Feeling his hands around her waist and his breath bearing down on her neck he pulled her into a small quiet corner leaving Jeanie once again isolated.

“Just to make you aware or until you understand why I’m here Sarge as always it’s been a pleasure.”

   Jeanie watched him walk through the crowds; his abhorrent air worried her greatly and reminded her of the same arrogance which had put her in this position. Shaking his grip and making more excuses for him the tides of tiredness washed over her tugging her into sleep. Flicking through her journal Jeanie realised that she had not slept properly in seventy two hours. Lying on the temporary bed, the past day played heavily on her mind and as she relived each episode and nearly killing one of her men she felt no closer to finding James. Seeing the rest of her men pile into the shelter she tried to regain a sense of perspective.

This is not the time to loose it; focus Mike is just being Mike stop looking into it……

   “Any news? I asked before and they wouldn’t tell me anything.” Jeanie tried to be strong, after all five of them had survived even if by sheer dumb luck.

“They’ve amputated his leg…” Bill threw the contents of his cup to the ground spitting the rest at Jeanie’s feet.

“What the fuck! Bill it’s not his fault he had to make a call or else we would all still be trapped possibly dead for fuck sake,” Pete stood in front of Jeanie almost protecting her from Bill’s actions. The last few days had been rough for them all but deep inside Jeanie felt as if she was to blame. “He’s lost a lot of blood Sarge that’s the main problem. We’ve also been told its touch and go.”

“Sarge it’s just fucked up!” Eugene sat still on the floor looking to Jeanie for solace the thing was she couldn’t even find it in herself to dish it out. “I promised to get you all here. After seeing the rest of the guys slaughtered in front of us it was the only option we had. I’m sorry if it was the wrong one we weren’t going to survive out their much longer and I had to make the call…..”

   Turning around to walk away Jeanie scratched heavily at her forehead, seeing the blood under her finger nails she felt as if she was slowly loosing her mind. Grabbing onto her arm Mick pulled her back into the group.

“Gents we’ve lost enough already without blaming each other. Sarge took the call; at least he had the balls to do that so take your fucking tins and let’s just salute Merle. I couldn’t fucking stand him but you set of hopeless bastards seem to have become sentimental.” Forcing the cup into Jeanie’s hand he rested his arm around her shoulders, lifting her cup Jeanie stepped out of his hold feeling the same unease return.

“To Merle may you still be the most boring piece of shit on the planet…” In chorus the group toasted his name, Jeanie played with the mark on her head unable to believe that she had made the right decision. “Sarge your heads bleeding.”

“If that’s all I’ve got to worry about after today I think I’ve done well.” The corner of his mouth curled at Jeanie’s feeble attempt at sarcasm but it was painstaking obvious that this war was taking its toll both mentally and physically.

“Sarge….looks like we’ve got company.” As the officer approached Jeanie fastened her jacket trying to avoid another negative encounter.

“Come on you lot we don’t need another excuse for a bollocking!” “Private Jack Rutherford….I was told a Private Jack Rutherford would be found over here.” Jeanie rose to her feet and stood to attention.

“I’m Private Rutherford sir.” the officer looked at her in disgust which  in turn was made to sound even worse by his stifling British accent emulating his feelings without course.

“Walk this way.” falling in behind Jeanie marched to the headquarters, “At ease private. Jim take this over to the chief medical officer. Ok lad. You where the one that led the five yanks into camp aren’t you?” Jeanie puzzled expected more questioning or at the least a bollocking as to why a lowly private saw fit to lead a group of men.

“Yes sir….yesterday.” The officer didn’t look in her direction; he didn’t even see fit to lift his head before continuing.

“Right I know what happened to their platoon unfortunate really as we could have done with the men. You’ve been missing for sometime private but I’ve been informed you will be staying here and going out with 4
th
in the morning the rest of your…your group will be going meeting up in the North.”

“Sir sorry I don’t quite understand what’s going on?” This time as Jeanie questioned his method the officer saw fit to raze his gaze.

“I’ve just told you what’s going on and that should be enough I don’t stand for insubordination private. You’re dismissed!” The officer returned his gaze to the course of paperwork which sat in front of him. Jeanie felt unable to move as she needed more of an explanation.

“Sorry private is their something more that I can help with.”

“No Sir sorry sir.” Whispers emulated around the room and as she was about to be dismissed again the whispers met the officer’s ear.

“Ah yes forgot that…that’s right?”

“Sir?” on interrupting Jeanie’s sentence he continued as if she had never spoke

“Yes well we’ve heard some of what you have done and you’ve been brought up to the ranking of Sergeant. As you where soldier.”

  The group stood at the bottom of the hill waiting to hear about their next move. Separation wouldn’t be easy as these men had become family even brothers.

“Sarge what’s next.” grabbing Eugene’s shoulder Jeanie looked at the floor.

“You will be joining the other Yanks in the North and I’m staying with the engineering unit”

“Sarge I’m sorry that’s just,” Jeanie interrupted Eugene’s flow knowing there lives had been changed by every experience they had been through.

“I know SNAFU…it’s just all SNAFU…”

Chapter 30

Ivy paced the floor as Jayne continued to scream and no amount of bobbing was pacifying her today.

“Jayne please stop mummy is so tired. Please just stop,” bobbing up and down in Ivy’s arms Jayne’s face was crimson. Ivy continued to rub her back in hopes the rocking and the condolence would pacify the toddler even though in her efforts that wasn’t going to be any time imminent.

   Peering out of the window Ivy waited on hopes for a word from Jeanie. “Mummy needs to know if Auntie Jea is ok because I have sent her letter and I need her reply back and now she is worrying me to death and I don’t think I can take it any more. Nana is getting on my nerves about it as well and everyone needs answers and Auntie Jeanie is not supplying them!”

   The window steamed with her breath and the anticipation of every visit brought on nervous butterflies. Seeing the postman Ivy still holding the now pink and whimpering child ran to the door. Before the gentleman even had time to knock Ivy had opened the door, “Thank you come Jaynee lets see what’s happening.” Before the postman had time to respond Ivy had already closed the door.

   Dancing over to the kitchen table she started to sift through desperately anticipating Jeanie’s reply.

“Nothing hold on Jayne…Nothing shit….nothing” throwing the envelopes down in anger Ivy couldn’t help but feel despair. It was difficult to hide her disappointment and as Irene past she waited for her to comment on her dismay

“What’s up with you?” Irene barged past grabbing hold of Jayne smothering her in spidery finger tickles and kisses.

” Don’t mind me I’m just invisible.”

“You’re beginning to sound like Jeanie talking to yourself like that. She sent anything?”

“No…Nothing…nothing at all.”

   Every day there was no response made it more unbearable and Ivy was desperate even if it was to appease her own conscience.

“Don’t worry so much you know Jea she’s tough a war won’t slow her down and you know her she won’t make any decisions until she comes home. Come on girl time for a pot of tea…..Come on Jaynee.” Ivy didn’t unfold her arms; she couldn’t even take comfort from her mother’s words.

The guilt felt painful.

Something was wrong and Ivy felt it.

“Mum I know something’s wrong,” Irene ruffled the living room curtains trying to stay positive as the thought of Jeanie at war made her sick and talking about something being wrong made it even more unbearable.

“You’re being silly if something was wrong we would have heard something by now look at George. That girl….that girl never ceases to amaze me. She will be ok and we have to keep thinking that. I have no other choice and I don’t think I can bear to loose anyone else.” Ivy rested her head on the parlour door contemplating her mums new found positivity however in the pit of her stomach it felt like a washing machine churning.

“Guess your right no other choice.” Jeanie had been the glue that kept them together living without her it was hard for everyone.

“Ivy your visitor is here and one word of advice watch him. No matter what he’s done so far I still don’t trust him.”

   The knock at the door was light and Ivy knew her day of reconciliation had come. Resting her head back on the door she counted to ten under her breath.

“Hello John come in.”

“Ivy…Irene…” He seemed just as beaten as Ivy and as Irene gazed at the pair she couldn’t help but feel their pain.

“John….” Irene coughed again to try to soften her voice.

“John you seem very distracted. Just as distracted as Ivy is there anything we should know.” He smiled uneasy and adjusted his gloves several times in his cap, looking up he found it difficult to keep eye contact.

“No. No just a hard couple of days and I leave tomorrow so this scenario play’s on your mind.” Ivy escorted him through to the parlour where Jayne was still busy playing, closing the door Ivy sat in the chair next to the fire place wondering what the next move would be.

“You know something and you’ve have kept it from us for weeks. I can’t stand this anymore” John sat on the floor at the side of Jayne, her smiles and gurgles lifting his spirits.

“If I did know anything Ivy do you honestly think I could tell you? It’s hard enough that I…I love someone desperately that doesn’t love me and I also have a child to her sister in regards to love complications I think we have reached the pinnacle don’t you.” Ivy sat back in her chair with her arms folded, knowing he was right didn’t make it any easier and it hurt to hear that he still loved Jeanie. It hurt even more to see him with Jayne.

“Hello darling who’s this. Who’s this?”

“Just wondered if I could let her know you know,” Ivy holding onto her daughters hand lifted her gaze.

“Yes…yes she’s going to know anyway. Jaynee this is daddy dada dada,” Jayne looked lovingly to Ivy and gargled her responses. John surprised at how soon it had happened appreciated what Ivy had done.

   As the second hour past John gathered his things, “Thank you.”

“What for it’s all out in the open now we have nothing to hide,” John took hold of his daughters hand playing with her delicate little fingers.

“I know but with everything even Irene has been gracious.”

Opening the parlour door Irene stood at the foot of the stairs and as John put on his coat, gloves and cap Irene cocked her head to one side admiring her view.

“I’ll say it for my daughter John you suit that uniform” Ivy blushed in agreement and embarrassment.

“Thank you I just wish I could have done more….for Jeanie.” Irene heard the break in his voice. He was usually so sure of himself and Irene knew something must be breaking down his defences and Jeanie wasn’t at home.

“Right I must go thank you again.” Leaning forward he kissed Ivy on the cheek and held out his hand, Irene ignoring his request nodded in confirmation still studying his demeanour. John disappeared out of the large front door and Irene still not convinced leant to look through the porch window.

“He’s hiding something I didn’t believe you before but that boy is definitely hiding something.”

“I told you before. So what can I do about that now?”

“Go after him he and do it quickly cause he’s getting into his car.” Grabbing her coat Ivy ran out to meet him

“John…John wait one minute.” As she got to the car she took a minute to catch her breath and to think up a reason of her sudden arrival.

“Sorry phew ok. Listen I know you leave in the morning oh god this is awkward. Do you want to go for a drink nothing funny…I mean shit? Right here we go again….As friends would you like to go for a drink I think it would be good for both of us and help when Jeanie comes home.” “Ivy we had something but I don’t know whether it’s such a good idea.” Ivy bent down and looked at John hiding underneath the lip of his cap

“I don’t want anything from you I just want to sort out for Jayne’s sake.” “Get in get in before I change my mind.” John drove out of the village and headed out into the country.

“Are we going far?”

“No. We don’t need any more rumours in this village.”

   Thirty minutes later they pulled up at a small country tavern and as they rushed through the door both of them looked windswept.

   The fire roared in the centre of the room and the inglenook fire place glowed with the heat. Sitting at a table in the corner John ordered two drinks and Ivy felt the nervous butterflies return.

She was out of her depth and she knew it.

“I’ve got you what you used to drink. I hope that’s ok.” Ivy nodded as John pulled up a chair.

“So what do you want to talk to me about?”

“You just seem distant and I wanted to help.”

“I knew it…your fucking mother put you up to this didn’t she!” Ivy bit her lip trying not to agree but knowingly she had already given her position away.

“If I said no I would be lying she just knew something was wrong”

“Lets face it Ivy I lived next door to you for practically my whole life and there are only two other women that know me that well and one of them is my mother. I have nothing to say Ivy and I can’t make up stuff just because your mum has a feeling.” As his sentenced finished his voiced raised in anger at Irene’s actions.

“John I said right away something was wrong. We are not getting any mail from Jeanie and we’re worried.”

“I know why you are worried and trust me that place will be the last thing on her mind right now!”

John picked up the glasses and put them on the bar and as he grabbed Ivy’s hand he began to drag her out of the door.

“Where are we going?”

“You will see!”

   Driving for hours the hills and moor land had rolled around every corner and every brow. Pulling up on the small cobbled street John stopped the car and violently and as he opened Ivy’s door his mood had darkened.

“Get out. I know I’ve been cruel before Ivy but you need to see what’s going on here for real. This fantasy situation that you have built up inside your mind doesn’t exist and Jeanie is caught up in something that you could never be able to control” Grabbing her hand again he pulled her down the corridor and as they walked into a side room John closed the door.

“Mary meet Ivy this is Jeanie’s sister. Now she doesn’t know what’s gone on and she doesn’t need to know….but I think you may know where a few of Jeanie’s belongings may be and I think today is the day you fancy enlightening us on the matter!” Ivy sat on the chair confused and dumfounded and the young woman sat in the hospital bed was just as dumbstruck as she was at his outburst.

“Sir I don’t know what you are talking about.” John sat on the side of the bed and smirked his hours of research had come back to Mary and now with Ivy in tow he wanted the truth.

“Come now Mary after your last outburst you didn’t think I would just walk away without investigating you a little longer do you. You see a little birdie told me that whilst in the midst of this relationship they caught you a couple of times lets just say in places where you shouldn’t have been and playing with papers which weren’t yours to play with.” John folded his arms raising an eyebrow; Ivy just sat waiting for the event to take its course. Mary by this point had started to pull at the sheets and as her tears began to well she knew he held no sympathy for her this time.

“You don’t understand.”

“Make me understand cause this still says to me that you’re working with him and against me.”

“Fine I just want him doesn’t matter.”

Mary looked away disgusted at herself, “He used to meet me upstairs next to the filing room. I thought he loved me and he used to dare me to do things and I used to promise him intercourse. He said we had to keep it up so I started in the mail room first and I gave him the letters I took…..” I’m not proud of doing it and I feel guilty all the time but he was very persuasive. I got caught up in something and did things I regret because I thought he loved me then look what he did!”

John raised himself up off the bed and as Ivy sat in wait of John’s command, she was still confused and now distressed at the girls circumstances.

“Mary you should have told me sooner this is important. Thank you for being honest with me. Ivy its time to go.” Ivy stood to attention as if she was one of his soldiers but she couldn’t help but feel for this poor woman and as she took hold of Mary’s hand she hoped her feelings would be transferred through her touch.

“We’ve all made those mistakes and I promise it will get better.” John closed his eyes knowing Ivy was talking about their affair and after lighting another cigarette he paced fiercely down the corridor.

“What was that about John…John…JOHN you answer me now god dam it! I have had enough games.”

“Not here outside now.” Ivy threw her head back; she had been drove all over the country to meet a desperate girl in hospital and have riddles played out in front of her.

“Are you going to tell me now or do I have to guess?” Blowing the smoke out into the air he walked around the side and leant over the bonnet of his car. Ivy pulled her coat around her and waited in desperation. “I can’t tell you everything but that girl has been involved in something terrible which affects Jeanie and I think she has been hiding or filtering letters telegram and who knows what else for someone who doesn’t like me or James or Jeanie. The one thing I have found out is that someone wanted her out of the way and now Jeanie is at war and in small mercies at least she is away from all of this.

From the reports that I have received she is fine and this is where you come into it. I need help and I can point you in the right direction but I can’t take you all the way…I’m not going to be here.”

“Why couldn’t you tell me? Why couldn’t you let me know?” John run his hands through his hair and shook his head.

“Ivy on track record you haven’t been the greatest when it comes to trust and let’s face it would anything I have just said make you or your family feel any better?

   I have a job to do Ivy and I have a war to fight. I have to do what’s right not for her not for me….for my country my men and our way of life…..I took on this responsibility with or without her.”

“So what now?” Stepping into the car he looked across Kirkcudbright’s sleepy town and wished he could disappear in its quietness.