In any ordinary life (In any oridnary Book 1) (22 page)

   The enjoyment she took of just running a bath and being engulfed by sunlight pleased James. She had been through so much it was time to get simplistic.

   Jeanie routed around in the spare room boxes hoping to find something to wear. The only thing that cropped up was an old flowered dress which was several sizes too big appeared but it seemed to be the only thing that fit the bill. Looking inside the big wardrobe Jeanie found a green cardigan and graced James’s presence waiting for his reaction.

   James who was trying to wait patiently had his arms folded as she entered the kitchen, “So what do you think...?” James laughed out loud and covered his mouth, “Beautiful as always…”

“You’re not a convincing liar Mr Watson and I haven’t found a coat….” James took off his jacket and passed it over.

“Your boots are at the door take this...”

   Strolling out of the house arm in arm anyone passing by would never have known the trials and tribulations of the past few months. Jeanie seemed to glow and she shone in the daylight.

   Walking out of the cottage led them straight to the wood and a small path had been chiselled out in the undergrowth.

   Hearing a gun shot Jeanie froze, “James……” holding onto her tightly he could feel her tremble from head to foot and her heartbeat pounded in her chest. “Jea its ok I’m here.” Placing his hand on top of her head he looked around to see where the shot had come from.

   From the distance James heard a voice, “Mr Watson. Mr Watson…….” As the man descended down the hill Jeanie still clung onto James

“I’m really sorry my wife has only just told me and its rabbit’s we’re after. I’m so sorry Miss I really didn’t mean to scare you.”

Jeanie looked up at James still trembling she turned around and faced the man, “Jeanie this is Mr George Partridge they are good friends of the family and they are the people I bought the house off. Are you ok?” James shook the gentleman’s hand and pulled Jeanie close. The sound of the shot had brought back the feelings of Signthorpe and the reality was he was with her whether she liked it or not. 

“Just made me jump a little.” George taking off his cloth cap held it to his chest, “I’m sorry I didn’t realise you’d moved in or I would have let you know about the shoot this morning.” Jeanie who was now facing him clasped her hand over his.

“It’s ok. It’s me loud noises make me jump...” George laughed and placed his hand over the top of hers, “As long as there is no harm done…James nice to see you settled down it was about time if you don’t mind me saying you seem to have done very well she’s a beautiful young lady.”

Jeanie blushed and stood close to James and as they waved away the now pleasantries Jeanie sighed heavily.

“Jea let me have a look at you. You’ve gone very pale. Are you in pain anywhere?” Jeanie shook her head still trying to get herself together. Walking towards the end of the path Jeanie’s silence worried him stopping he lifted her hands to his chest, “Talk to me.”

“It …..It just brought everything back. I’m ok please don’t worry. I was enjoying our time so much just give me a minute….”

Grabbing hold of her hand he pulled her down the hill and as they raced Jeanie’s cheeks soon turned pink again.

“Come on I know what will get you sorted...”

Never leaving go of James hand they reached the bottom of the divot and as they walked across and old wooden bridge Jeanie strolled looking up to James contemplating there future.

   Jeanie completely unaware didn’t care where they where going but before reaching the end of the path he put his hands over her eyes

“What are you doing? James come on. I can’t see” Jeanie light-heartedly played along with his game, “No peeking cause I want you to take this in at first glance ready….go”

  As he moved away his hands the visions of the lake came flooding into focus. The hills rolling in the back white with frost looked as if the belonged in a fairy tale and as the calm still waters glistened and rippled in the breeze, the clouds in the sky looked like a perfect mirror reflecting back to heaven.

“I’m in Bassenthwaite. You brought me to Bassenthwaite……” Overwhelmed Jeanie hugged James tightly.

   Making her way through the pebbles that scattered along the shore edge Jeanie took off her boots and socks.

“What are you doing it’s freezing.” Jeanie danced in the icy waters seemingly with no worries no cares. James picked her up from behind and swung her around in the waters. Their laughs and cries echoed around the still crisp lake.

“It’s so beautiful and still here shame my feet are so cold.” Picking her up he held her close and as she tiptoed from the waters edge her smile said everything. Jeanie was finally falling in love.

   Making there way back to house no one could have separated them. The small touches, the glances and the laughter couldn’t help but let him know how perfect it all felt.

“I’ve enjoyed today in fact I have loved today it’s been a long time since I have felt like this.”

“You need food come on.” opening the latch Jeanie noticed a box, “What’s that?” Opening it slightly she notice a rabbit, a few carrots and a couple of potatoes where inside.

“James there’s a note, look” Picking it up out of the back of the box Jeanie read it out loud.

“
To Doc, Sorry about before. Here’s a little wedding present on us.

Mildred & George Partridge.”

“Ok doc you on the bunny me on the other stuff... Stew tonight.”

   Standing at the kitchen sink James brought in the newly butchered bunny. Jeanie looked at the pieces and felt hungry for the first time in months, “You wash up and I’ll have a go at playing wife for a change.” Sliding his hands around her waist James kissed the back of her neck.

“I could get used to this Mrs Watson.”

“I’m never going to get anything done if you carry on.”

“Well I’m starving so you better crack on fast then.”

Feeling him let go of her waist Jeanie radiated happiness from every fibre  

   While dinner cooked Jeanie wondered around the living room. Everything was so neatly placed and organised just in the way she liked. The book case in the corner intrigued her the most and the old leather backed books tired and dusty cried out in desperation to be read.

   Sitting on the settee in front of the fire she placed the old book on her knee. Hearing James’s awful singing from the bathroom she realised that this is what she had been waiting for. This was normality.

   James appeared with two bowls of the rabbit stew and sat beside her on the floor, “Shouldn’t we use the table?”

“You seem comfortable why spoil it…eat.”

Jeanie sat and read the book and as he listened attentively she stroked her fingers through his hair. As the pages turned and her words echoed out the whole routine slotted into place.

   As James closed the house up for the night Jeanie had already crawled under the covers and this time getting to James close the curtains.

   “Do you remember when we first met?” Jeanie nodded still lost in his stare listened attentively, “We talked about everything even my holidays as a child. I used to come to this cottage with my aunt. Do you remember? I told you about getting caught with no clothes on in the lake by Mildred. The more we talked the more you made me realise just how arrogant I was.”

Jeanie brushed her hands through his hair, “I never thought you where just strong willed. You didn’t have a clue about people. Oh you knew how they worked just not as people. We were the best of friends really. You know I did miss you a lot after you left.”

“I’m glad we still are Jea before I left you told me about Bassenthwaite. Yow you used to take trips here as a kid and you told me your dreams of owning a cottage down here had gone because of your father’s death.

   I bought this place because it was your dream. My dream was you it’s always been you and I brought you here for you to fall in love with me.” Tears dripped down off her cheek onto the bed linen, “Do you not think I love you.”

“I knew you loved me. I just wasn’t certain of how deep that ran.”

“I have never been this in love before and it’s not because of the house…It’s because of you.”

   Knowing she felt the same lifted a weight off his mind, no matter what happened she belonged to him and him to her.

   “James I want to talk about something with you.” Jeanie’s concern made her body rigid and cold. “What was he like? I mean I spent all that time not ever seeing him. I’ve been to the graveside and I’ve took flowers I.I just wondered what he was like.” James kissed her softly stroking the hair away from her face.”

“How long have you held that in for?”

“Honestly since you took me to see him before I came home from hospital.”

“Don’t ever be frightened of mentioning him. I mean that. He was a part of us and he was our baby as much as he was John’s.” The sincerity in his voice made Jeanie realise how much guilt he had felt about that night

“I’m sorry for everything I did that night and even now I feel like I could have stopped it from happening.”

“You couldn’t have done anything James. I’ve seen the folder remember. That day in hospital I realised this had been planned and if it wasn’t that night it would have been some other time. I’m alive because of you and all these silvery lines on my body are where you fought for me and won.

I just never got to see him and I keep imagining what he looked like but I can’t.” A stray tear left James’s eyes and as he breathed in deep he smiled at his beautifully courageous wife.

“He was just like you. He was absolutely perfect Jeanie. His crystal blue eyes just sparkled. He had John’s strawberry blonde though.” Choking slightly James had to pull back the tears as every description only seemed to clip at his guilt.

“Jeanie he was sure pure and beautiful and if I’d have known how perfect he was I would have never, never made you feel the way I did. I’m so sorry I-I’m so so sorry. I wish I could have done more.”

“Thank you. Please don’t.  I just needed to know and I know you fought for him as much as you fought for me and that’s all I need.”

  Jeanie lay in his arms surrounded by the comfort of his embrace. James could feel her heartbeat fast and what seemed like hours passed in silence between them.

“I have a confession.” James looked puzzled.

“Go on I’m intrigued to know…”

“I love you hands every time I imagine us together it’s your hands that.” Playing on her thought James ran his hand over her stomach, kissing her Jeanie closed her eyes.

“It’s your hands that excite me. I just love the way you touch me.”

Kissing her softly again, he leaned his head on his elbow and moved her hair away from her brow.

“I’ve been dreaming about you. I dreamt about how we would be when you come home from hospital and what I would say and do in fact everything I do with you starts as a dream. The reality is I thought I would loose you and I thought I would never be able to tell you I’m sorry. I used to sit beside you in that god awful room counting the hours until you wake up. Hating me for what I did. I would write speeches over and over in my head thinking of ways I could tell you I was wrong and how much I wanted you and our baby with me.

  I used to think that you would be better off without me as I’ve brought you nothing but pain. The amount of times I repeated over and over what I would do better. But I always came to the same conclusion you are my life and my life is only better because of you. I learned the meaning of I’m sorry,”

“James please...” Placing his fingers on her lips he stroked the outline. As her tears stained her cheeks he could help but kiss her eye lids and wish he could take away the pain.

  “Before I met you I had the inability to say sorry your mum. Jesus Christ your mum said something to me that night which I will never forget. She said half of the baby is part of Jeanie and no matter how hard you try that’s the piece that you will love.

  I wasted all our time on my own selfish inability and childish insecurity on John when I should have concentrated on loving you holding you. Making you happy and then a man tried to rape and kill you and it took that from me. It took everything from me and in that moment I had wronged you. That’s my guilt that’s why I need you to see how much I really love and will never hurt you again and I’ll give my whole life to you just to make you understand…..”

“I don’t want you to be guilty you had every right to feel confused and upset I was carrying John’s baby.”

“No Jeanie our baby. He was all ours.”

“Mum must have told you then. I wasn’t my dad’s daughter not in the biological sense. To be fair it made me realise how much I resented mum for cheating on him. I blamed her for years. I guess I found out the hard way. Loving someone and carrying someone else’s child I fell into being my mum.

   It made me realise how dirty and disgusting the whole affair is and you weren’t selfish you where confused and upset and I wanted you to love me regardless. I understand that now. Funny how things change when everything you’ve been planning for gets suddenly ripped out from underneath you. Makes wishing so difficult.

   You make me feel free you make me feel like I can spread my wings and be the person I really want to be. I just don’t want you to feel guilty anymore. All of us including John have lost something so wonderful and special but I don’t blame you. I love you James”