In a Heartbeat (Heartbeat #1) (26 page)

“Hi, Gino,” she said, even though she knew he wouldn’t reply. Lisa didn’t care. She wouldn’t stop coming here, if that was what he wanted. At some point he was going to look at her, he was going to reply to her greeting. Until then, she talked to him about her life, about her jobs, about her art, about films she’d seen or new albums she’d downloaded. Sometimes she played him some music from her iPod or read to him from the newspaper or a book. He knew more about her than anyone: but that’s what happened when you talked for hours about yourself without anyone interrupting you.

The only thing she hadn’t told him was how her father had died, but neither of them was ready for that yet.

“Ready for our walk?” she said, and pushed the wheelchair towards the door. Every time she visited, Lisa took him outside to get some fresh air. The clinic’s private grounds were beautiful. Paved paths weaved through endless lawns, hidden from the outside world by huge trees all around the edges of the property. There was a small lake with alcoves and picnic tables around, and it was a favourite place for the patients and their families to gather.

Lisa pushed the wheelchair along a path absent-mindedly, thinking how hiding her visits to Gino from everyone took its toll on her. The stress had proved too much two days ago when, after coming to see him, she went to the gallery and every little thing annoyed her. All she could think about afterwards was going to a bar, getting drunk and probably sleeping with a random guy, just so she could erase Gino from her mind.

Lisa needed to share her secret with someone, but there was no one she could trust to support her decision. Max, Stella and her mum would never understand why she was doing this, and
– even worse – they’d probably be horrified.

No, there was no one she could trust to help her carry her burden. She was on her own.

Chapter Twenty One

“Stella, wake up,” someone said, stroking her cheek. She opened one eye and saw Lisa sitting on her bed.

“What? Why? What time is it?” It certainly seemed too early to be awake.

“It’s 7 o’clock.”

“Why exactly do I have to get up at seven on a Saturday?”

“Mum and I have a surprise for you. Come on, get washed and we’ll see you in the kitchen in ten.” Lisa hopped off the bed, while Stella groaned. Her crazy cousin was definitely travelling the bipolar road.

“I made coffee,” Lisa called as she opened the bedroom door. “The sooner you get up, the sooner you’ll feel the caffeine working its magic in your body.” She closed the door, not too gently, and Stella sighed. Flicking her covers off, she stomped to the bathroom and began brushing her teeth.

“So what’s up?” Stella asked, wrapping her fingers around a coffee mug and taking the first amazing sip. Lisa and Niki were holding their own cups, grinning like Cheshire cats and looking at her. Since she’d arrived, she couldn’t remember a time when she’d seen them looking so genuinely happy.

“Well,” Lisa said and sat down at the table. “We haven’t been really good to you. Especially me.”

Stella opened her mouth to protest but Lisa raised a hand to silence her.

“It’s true. We’ve both been working a lot and even when I wasn’t, I haven’t been a really good friend, because I’ve been too wrapped up in my own issues. So, to make up for that, and to spoil ourselves this weekend, we’re going to Milan!” She left her cup on the table and clapped excitedly.

“Really? Now?” Both Lisa and Niki nodded excitedly. “Wow! That’s amazing, I’ve always wanted to go there. Thank you!” She hugged them both in turn and couldn’t stop smiling.

“Finish your coffee and go and pack an overnight bag, honey,” Niki said. “We have to leave in about an hour if we want to take full advantage of the weekend.”

Stella didn’t need to be told twice.

The drive to Milan took about two hours. Niki had booked them a hotel in the city centre, so that they could leave the car and explore the breathtaking city on foot.

Stella had read the tourist guide Lisa had lent her in the car, and both her aunt and her cousin had encouraged her to choose what she wanted to see, because they’d been to Milan many times and had seen most things.

Considering they had less than two full days, Stella had to choose wisely. Their first stop was the
Duomo
– Italy’s most famous cathedral. No wonder it took five hundred years, and counting, to build. Standing before the
Duomo
, Stella felt insignificant, small, ugly. Taking the lift, they climbed to the cathedral’s roof where they could walk around and enjoy a full view of the city. It felt like standing on top of the world – Milan stretched below them and further away they could see the Alps standing guard between Italy and the rest of Europe.

Next, they visited the
Pinacoteca di Brera
art museum, which hosted art by Italy’s most famous and distinguished artists like Mantegna's ‘Dead Christ’, a moving ‘Pietà’ by Giovanni Bellini and Caravaggio's ‘Supper at Emmaus’. Stella chose that particular museum because she knew Lisa loved it and also because just behind it was
Orto Botanico di Brera
– a five-thousand-square-metre botanical garden. At this time of the year it was incredible – all the flowerbeds were blooming and their scent filled the air all around the garden. It was like an oasis of calm in the middle of the busy city. They walked around for a while, breathing the fresh-smelling air, and relaxed on a bench to have a little rest and eat the sandwiches they’d bought from the nearby snack stall.

It was past five o’clock when they left the garden and they were too exhausted for any more sightseeing. Niki suggested they go back to the hotel, have a shower, freshen up and go out to dinner.

They all collapsed into bed a little after midnight after enjoying an amazing meal and a walk around the city centre, mixing with the tourists and locals, all out to have some Saturday night fun.

The next day, Niki insisted they needed to go shopping – saying it was against the law to come to Milan and not shop! Their first stop was
Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II
– one of the poshest shopping centres Stella had ever seen. It was situated close to the
Duomo
and looked like a luxurious cathedral inside. It had an enormous glass roof that cast light into the furthest corners of the building and brought to life the elaborate art decorating the mall. Niki explained that it had opened way back in 1867, and Prada’s flagship store had opened here in 1913. Her eyes lit with excitement as she talked, marvelling at the grand style of the building. They sat down for a coffee and a little rest and Stella almost choked when she saw the ten-euro price tag for a single espresso.

“If you wanna drink your coffee between Prada, Fendi and Gucci, you need to pay the price,” Niki had said, as she took a sip of the miniature drink.

They didn’t buy anything from the
Galleria
, because a bag cost as much as a small car, but outside the building there were many designer outlets scattered around. They all found some treasures with ‘seventy per cent off’ labels stuck on them, and went to early dinner happily carrying their shopping bags, before climbing into the car and driving back home.

When they reached home on Sunday evening, all three of them were exhausted and headed straight to their respective rooms.

As Stella lay in her bed, she relived the events of the weekend with a smile on her face. She’d really enjoyed the trip, and spending time with Lisa and Niki. It had been very relaxing and liberating.

Without any warning, her thoughts drifted towards Max. He hadn’t called or texted all weekend, which was unusual. Stella wondered if she should be worried, but then remembered the last time she’d seen him and what he’d been doing – going out with Beppe to pick up girls. Maybe he had picked up a girl and had spent the weekend with her, and that was why he’d not thought of Stella.

The very notion that Max had been with a girl all this time sent pangs of jealousy in her gut, so strong that her dinner threatened to come out. She felt acid flood her stomach and her mouth watered. Forcing her body to calm down, Stella swung off the bed and went to get a glass of water from the bathroom.

The thought of Max with another girl wasn’t simply jealousy-inducing. It also scared her. Stella couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. Maybe because Max had been a great friend and someone she had come to trust, or because he was the only support system she had here since Lisa was so fragile herself at the moment.

Or because suddenly she felt empty without him in her life.

The following few days dragged by. Stella felt restless without Max. He still hadn’t called or texted or shown any sign of being alive. For a second Stella had entertained the idea that something might have happened to him, but then she remembered that bad news always travelled fast and someone would have told Lisa. He was probably too busy entertaining his weekend conquest and had completely forgotten about her. Stella wanted to ask Lisa if she’d heard of him, but she didn’t want to seem needy. She was too proud for that. If he didn’t want to call – fine. She certainly wasn’t going to beg.

On the plus side, Lisa was much more attentive and seemed happier. She spent a lot of time with Stella. They had a lot of fun going around town, to the cinema, or shopping. It was just as Stella had imagined it before she came – her and Lisa, relaxing and having a good time. She’d never imagined meeting Max and turning her life on its head.

Stella told Lisa about her date with Rico and she was overly enthusiastic, until Stella clarified that there hadn’t been a spark and she wasn’t seeing him again. Something passed in Lisa’s eyes just then, but Stella couldn’t tell exactly what. Her cousin didn’t comment on it though, and Stella sighed in relief that this time there wouldn’t be a lecture. If Stella had told her the real reason why she hadn’t wanted to see Rico again, there certainly would have been a lecture, and a long one at that. By now Stella knew it by heart: you have cancer, you live in another country, he’s a good guy, you’ll hurt him and yourself, blah, blah, blah. She didn’t need all those reminders of why she shouldn’t be with Max. She just knew that she wanted to be with him – period. Obviously he had changed his mind.

It was all good until on Wednesday Lisa sneaked out again. She had something to do, again. It caught Stella a bit off guard, because they’d been sunbathing by the pool and she was in her bikini when Lisa went inside and came back a few minutes later, dressed and ready to go. What was Stella supposed to do? Tackle her to the ground until she confessed where she was going? She had just shrugged instead, frowning.

Lisa was getting sneakier, which meant she was worried that Stella might be on to her. Which she definitely was. Next time she wouldn’t allow herself to be caught off guard. Next time she planned to follow her and solve that mystery once and for all.

Stella wished so badly that Max would call. If he did, she’d tell him all this and he’d have some insight. He’d help her. Most of all, she just wanted to hear his voice.

She missed him so much.

Thinking about what he might be doing, who he might be doing it with or why he had suddenly stopped calling shattered her heart in a million pieces every single time. It hurt because she thought she’d lost him, and the idea of never seeing him again killed her.

On Friday Lisa went out to ‘run an errand’ again. This time Stella was ready. She followed her to the street and saw her getting into a taxi.

Now what?

The only option she had was to climb into the next taxi and follow her, ignoring the comparison with a cheap gangster movie. Her eyes scanned the street for available cars and there was one coming her way. Stella raised her hand and called it, but when it stopped in front of her and she opened the door ready to hop in, she froze. The guy behind the wheel looked so much like the man who had killed Eric and her dad – same short brown hair, same dull blue eyes, same complacent smile. Her brain went into lock-down. Everything around her blurred and she felt dizzy.

“You coming in or what?” the guy behind the wheel barked at her and startled her out of her trance. Shaking her head she slammed the door and ran.

Stella had no idea where she was going; she just knew that she wanted to get away from there. Memories flooded her head and she needed to escape. Not caring about Lisa any more, she ran until her legs wouldn’t support her weight any longer.

Collapsing on the pavement, she leaned her back against a nearby wall and tugged her legs underneath her. Then the tears came. Thank God it was a small side street and there was no one around, because Stella cried until all the pain had washed away from her chest and she could breathe again.

She had no idea how much time had passed until she heard someone coming. Exhausted and unable to move or even care that someone would see her this way, she remained where she was, hoping the stranger would pass by her like people in London did.

However, this wasn’t London; it was Italy, where people didn’t have a problem with sticking their noses into other people’s business. Plus – it wasn’t a stranger.

“Oh my God: what the hell are you doing?” Gia said as she recognised Stella. “Why are you on the ground? Stella, what happened?” Judging by her voice she was very worried, but Stella couldn’t find any strength left in her to pretend everything was fine.

She looked at Gia blankly as she said,

“I’m fine. Can you please take me home? I have no idea where I am.”