In a Heartbeat (Heartbeat #1) (30 page)

Stella nodded in agreement and, brushing his lips against hers, Max went to check on his sauce. He stirred it, tasted it, added some herbs and, reducing the heat, left it on the stove. Pouring water into another pan, he put the lid on and left it to boil. Stella was fascinated as she watched him move so efficiently around the kitchen.

“Gia must think I’m crazy now,” she said, as he sat down next to her again.

“No, she doesn’t. She doesn’t really think about other people at all.” Was it her imagination, or did she just feel some bitterness in Max’s tone? “Besides, who cares? It’s my house as much as hers. If I want you to stay with me, you stay with me, period.”

Stella nodded, because she didn’t know what else to say. She needed to talk to Niki first and then decide what to do.

“We need to find out where Lisa goes, Max. I feel that’s the key to everything that’s going on with her. If she won’t tell us, we’ll find out on our own.”

“I agree. But how do we do that? Does she have a pattern when she goes?”

“I think so. The last three times were twice Wednesday and once Friday, in the afternoons. So I think we should be ready on Wednesday. Are you working?”

“Not during the day. I have a shift at the bar in the evening.”

“OK, so that’s the plan then.”

Stella smiled, satisfied that she had a confidante and an accomplice again. The pasta was ready and they tucked in, not realising until then how very hungry they were.

By the time they’d finished their meal and cleaned up the kitchen, it was almost time for Max to go. There was still no sign of Lisa, so Stella decided to send her a text.

Stella: Hey Lis, are you at work? When are you coming home?

Lisa: Yes, I’m in the middle of class. Should be back in a couple of hours. Wait for me; we need to talk.

Sighing Stella typed,

Stella: I know. I’ll be here.

That was a conversation she wasn’t looking forward to. Frowning, she left her phone on the table and saw Max looking at her.

“So?” he asked.

“She’s at work. She wants to talk when she comes back.”

Max took her hand and led her to the sofa, where he positioned her on his lap before he spoke,

“I can cancel my shift and stay. We can talk with her together.”

“No, it’s fine. I have to do this on my own.”

Lisa knew why Stella shouldn’t be with Max; he didn’t. She’d much rather address those issues without him present. Guilt washed over her as she became acutely aware how she’d have to hide so many things from him, when in fact all she wanted to do was tell him everything. That wasn’t an option, however. What they had was too perfect to spoil it with the ugly truth. Besides, they both knew it wasn’t going to last forever. They had six weeks and Stella intended to make them as amazing as she could, without thinking beyond that anymore.

“I have to go, baby,” he said, as Stella looped her arms around his neck and teased his lips with hers. Placing both his hands between her shoulder blades, Max pulled her to him and deepened the kiss, finding her tongue with his. “I’ll come over after work,” he said breathlessly against her mouth. “I’ll text you to come to the door. If Niki doesn’t want me here, I’ll take you home.”

“The lengths you’ll go to, to have sex with me,” teased Stella, her lips curling into a smile. Max remained serious as he pulled away to look into her eyes when he spoke.

“Never even think that it’s just about the sex. It’s amazing, true, but it’s amazing because it means something ... to me. Because it’s with you.”

He held her eyes with his, until her expression changed and she nodded. Max pulled her in for another kiss and Stella realised that she had needed to hear that from him. Not because she didn’t feel it when they were together, but because she was a girl and she wanted to have things spelled out for her – especially from someone like Max, who’d never been deprived of female attention.

After Max had left, Stella didn’t know what to do with herself. She felt restless and off balance. Watching TV didn’t help, because nothing could hold her attention for longer than five minutes, so she decided to grab her Kindle and read. The best way to forget about your own drama was to immerse yourself in someone else’s, even if it was fictional.

The front door opening startled her out of her book and Stella saw her aunt coming in.

Here we go: reality check number one.

“Hi, sweetheart,” she said with a smile.

Good sign?

“Hi, Aunt Niki. How was your day?” Stella flinched at her own words, but really, what was she supposed to say? The whole situation was awkward, to put it mildly.

“It was busy, as usual. Have you had dinner?”

“No, not yet.”

“Come on then, I’ve got some groceries, let’s go make something and talk.”

Niki grilled some steaks and put Stella in charge of cutting the vegetables and steaming them. Lisa would be home soon, so they made sure they had enough food for all three of them.

When the vegetables were in the steamer and the steaks were resting, Niki poured herself a glass of Prosecco and sat at the table across from Stella, who was peeling a cucumber for the salad.

“So, I saw Max’s car out at the front this morning. You want to share something?” Her voice was playful, teasing even.

“He spent the night here,” Stella said, blushing. “With me.”

“I see.” Niki drank from her wine and Stella’s heart was hammering inside her chest as she waited for her aunt’s reaction. She didn’t need her permission, that was true, but she’d feel so much better if Niki was OK with Max being here, and with their relationship. “Have you told Helen?” she finally asked.

“Not yet. When we last spoke I told her about Max, about having feelings for him, but I also had some reservations about being with him. She advised me to go with my heart and take a chance if I thought it was worth it.”

“That sounds like something she’d say,” Niki said and smiled. Then she reached over the table and took Stella’s hand in hers. “Listen, honey, I know how unfair life has been for you and I know it must be hard to let yourself want something badly, only to realise it could be taken from you at any moment. But you have to let go of that feeling. You have to try and appreciate what you have right now and not think about the future too much, because nobody knows what it holds. If Max is what you want right now, then forget about everything else and be with him. See where that takes you. Don’t miss out on any chances in life because you’re afraid you might get hurt.”

By the time she was finished talking, both Niki and Stella had unshed tears in their eyes. Her aunt knew exactly how she was feeling because she’d been there; she’d lost the man she’d loved. Niki knew exactly what was bothering Stella and exactly what to say to lift the weight off her shoulders. Everything she’d said was absolutely true. Even if your life seemed perfect at the moment, with no uncertain future looming over it, it could change in a heartbeat. That didn’t mean you should stop living it.

“Thank you.” That was all Stella could say. Niki smiled and released her hand, leaning back in her chair. “Aunt Niki, are you sure you’re OK with Max spending the night here? Not just last night, but ... some other nights as well?”

“I don’t mind; you’re a grown woman. Just make sure your mum knows, though. It feels wrong to keep this from her.”

“Of course. I really want to tell her,” said Stella and grinned. She couldn’t wait to share how happy she was with her mother.

“Max is a really great guy, I knew you’d like him even before you came. He helped Lisa through a lot. He’s definitely someone you can count on, and that’s very rare to find.”

The timer for the vegetables put an end to their conversation and they got busy serving the food into plates. Lisa came in just as Stella was putting the salad on the table and she fixed her a plate, too. They finished their meal quickly, laughter and easy banter flowing. Lisa seemed in a good mood and that would be extremely beneficial for their conversation later. The girls shooed Niki out of the kitchen to go and relax while they cleaned the table. Once that was finished, Lisa poured a glass of Prosecco for herself and opened a bottle of
San Pellegrino aranciata
for Stella as they moved to the living room.

“You feel like sharing something?” Lisa asked, a playful edge to her voice.

Why isn’t she mad?

“I do, actually. Max spent the night here, as you may have assumed.”

“As in ‘Max and I had sex’ spent the night here?” Lisa’s lips turned up as if she wanted to smile but was holding it back.

“As in ‘Max and I had the best, mind-blowing sex ever’ spent the night,” said Stella, arching an eyebrow and grinning.

“Ewww, that’s gross. He’s my friend; I don’t need to hear about his abilities in the bedroom.”

That was not how Stella had imagined that conversation would go. With Lisa she never knew what to expect – her emotional grid was off the charts. Still, she was glad her cousin had come round and accepted the idea of her and Max together. She’d missed their easy, girly talks.

“So, you’re OK with this?” Stella asked.

“If you’re OK with it, then I am too.”

“But that’s not what you said before ...”

“I know what I said. It wasn’t anything you didn’t already know. You’re one of the most considerate, responsible, compassionate people I know, Stella. I trust that if you’ve come to terms with the outcome of your decision, it must be worth it. I’m done judging people.” Lisa flinched at her own words and raw pain clouded her features for a second. Before Stella could comment though, Lisa shook her head, dispersing the emotion as quickly as it had appeared. “And besides, I’m glad you finally hooked up; the sexual tension between you two was giving me a headache.” They both laughed and took a sip of their drinks. “You haven’t told him, have you?” She didn’t need to clarify that she meant the cancer, Stella knew.

“No. And I’m not going to. Last night when he came into my room we talked and we decided not to think beyond the six weeks I have left here. He knows I’m going home after that and it’ll be over between us, and he’s OK with that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. That’s what he said, so there’s no point in telling him. I don’t want him looking at me differently. All I want is to enjoy what we have right now and not think of anything else. I’m tired of over-thinking stuff, Lis.”

“I know. Me too.” There was an unexpected sadness in her voice and Stella contemplated asking her, again, what she was hiding and why. But the conversation about Max had gone so well that she didn’t want to ruin the moment.

“I’m so glad you’re fine with us being together. It would have felt so wrong if you weren’t. You’re very important to me, Lis – I hope you know that.” Stella reached over and entwined her fingers with her cousin’s, hoping that maybe if she believed how much Stella loved her, she’d tell her what was going on with her.

“I know. You’re very important to me, too. I’m sorry if I acted like a bitch before ...”

“Stop it: you didn’t. You were just looking out for us, I know that. But sometimes what we want is not what’s best for us, and even if we know that it’s not going to end well, we still plunge ourselves into it head first and enjoy every minute, because we crave it so much that any rational thought is left far behind.”

Lisa nodded, deep in thought, and Stella couldn’t help but wonder if she was applying her words to some other situation.

“Is he coming over tonight?” Lisa finally asked.

“Yeah. And you’ll have to get used to him being around a lot. And by a lot I mean every night. At least, that’s what he says.”

“I’m not surprised. When Max wants something he goes all out.” There it was – that sadness again.

Am I missing something?

“Lis, is there something you want to share?”

Lisa shook her head and drank the last of her wine.

“I’m tired; I’ve had a long day. I think I’ll go to bed.”

“Sure. Are you working tomorrow?”

“Yeah, at the gallery during the day. I’ll be home in the evening.”

She kissed Stella goodnight and climbed the stairs to her room. Looking at the clock on the wall, Stella realised she had at least two hours until Max came. Feeling suddenly exhausted, she went to her own room, leaving her phone on the pillow next to her and, drinking in Max’s scent all over her bed, fell asleep.

Chapter Twenty Four

The phone’s ringing woke Stella up and she blindly felt around until she managed to locate it and pick up.

“Did I wake you?” Max’s voice filled her head, her body, her entire universe. It spread warmth all over her and her heart started beating faster, recognising that she’d be in his arms very soon.

“Mm-hm,” she murmured, still under the influence of sleep.

“Come and open the door, please,” Max breathed down the line, intense urgency dripping from his every word.

Disconnecting the call, Stella walked quietly to the front door and unlocked it. Max slipped in and closed it behind him. It was dark inside; the only source of light was coming through the windows from the street lamps outside. He was wearing dark jeans and a dark T-shirt, and his eyes looked black in the dim light. As he leaned back against the door and crossed his ankles, he looked dangerous. Sinful.